The Coinciding Catalysts
by FFcrazy15
Summary: Raj meets a pretty yet selectively mute girl at a club, Sheldon takes in his genius nephew, Bernadette's pregnant, Penny goes back to school, and much more! Sheldon/Amy, Leonard/Penny, Howard/Bernadette, and Raj/OC. Note: the characters in the boxes have been changed to Sheldon and Amy.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory or Pepsi. I make no money off of this story.

**BBT**

"This is pointless," Raj said, his hands in his pockets.

Howard sighed, looking up at the ceiling of the nightclub. _Why me?_ he asked silently.

Then, an afterthought: _This is payback, isn't it?_

Resolving in his mind to go to temple on Saturday, he pointed over to a few girls at the bar. "Why don't we go talk to them, huh?"

Raj groaned. "Dude, you know I can't talk to them. And besides, my parents would murder me if they found I was dating anyone who _wasn't _Indian.

"That's why you don't _tell_ them."

Raj had nothing to say to this, so he grudgingly followed Howard over to the two women. Instantly, he felt himself stiffen up and his tongue go dry and cottony. The women were highly attractive, especially the one on the left, who glanced away. Both Latino, they had shiny black hair and dark eyes.

"Hey," Howard said, giving his good-natured smile.

The one on the left glanced at the one on the right, as if unsure. She seemed shy. "Hey," the one on the right replied, smiling back. She had a slight accent and was much taller than her friend.

"You ladies want some drinks? On me."

"I'll take one," she answered, "But Alejandra doesn't drink."

The other girl flushed and looked away.

"Is she okay?" Howard asked, concerned.

"Oh, she's fine," the woman said, rolling her eyes. "She just can't talk to guys."

"You're preaching to the choir. I'm Howard, by the way." He held out his hand.

She shook it. "Athalia. But you should know; I'm married."

"Really? So am I." He jerked his thumb back towards the dancing crowd. "My wife is back there. Her name's Bernadette." He glanced over his shoulder. "Actually, I should probably head back to her now… She gets a little tipsy at things like these."

"Mind if I come with?"

"Sure. Raj, you okay here buddy?"

The other scientist tried to give him a '_no, save me, I'm drowning and I can't swim!_' look, but it was misunderstood (or ignored) by Howard, and he said, "Later buddy," patting him on the shoulder.

He and Alejandra sat in an awkward silence, not looking at each other. _The worst part about all this,_ he thought, _Is that I can't even order a drink around her!_

So silence it was.

He watched the moving people on the dance floor without really even seeing it, trying to forget where he was and what he was doing. Suddenly, he felt something brush his hand.

He looked down, surprised. It was a napkin, and something was written on it. Glancing up at Alejandra, he saw her determinedly looking the other way. He looked back at the napkin.

_Hi._

He stared for a moment, and then noticed the pen- her pen- next to the napkin. He picked it up, hesitated, and then wrote:

**Hello.**

He passed it back, not looking at her. A few seconds later, the napkin was back.

_I'm sorry. I can't talk to guys. I get too nervous. _

He wrote her back, saying:

**I can't talk to girls, so I guess we're even.**

He heard a giggle, and then the sound of the pen on the napkin, before he had it back.

_What's your name? I'm Alejandra._

**Rajesh Koothrappali.**

_That's a cool name._

**Thanks… I think.**

Another giggle. _You're funny, Rajesh. Can I call you Raj?_

He shrugged, writing her back. The napkin was between them now, and they didn't bother looking away. **Everyone does.**

_Who's 'everyone?'_

**My friends… from work.**

He sucked in a breath. This was going to blow up in his face right here and now, he knew it. Still, he honestly wrote, **I'm an astrophysicist at Caltech.**

The response was quick. _Really? I'm an physicist, too._

**Where do you work?**

_I teach up at Cal Poly._

He blinked, surprised. **If you can't talk to guys, how can you teach them?**

She laughed and wrote back, _I don't look at them when I'm giving a lecture._

He grinned. **I'll have to try that sometime.**

She took the pen back, hesitated, and then wrote, _Would you mind if we switched numbers? Texting is faster than this._

He thought about it, and then nodded. She pulled her phone out of her purse and handed it to him. He put his number in, and she did the same with his phone.

He texted her, **There, that bettr?**

_Way. My hand was hrting._

He gestured to the counter, and then typed in, **U sure u dont wanna drink?**

_No. It makes me act like a nut._

**Really? I cant tak 2 a grl unles Im totally hammrd.**

She shrugged. _I go lco when Im drunk._

He puzzled over the 'lco' for a moment, before he got it. **Ull hav 2 meet Sheldon.**

_Who?_

**Nevrmind. How bout a soda then?**

_Ya, thanx._

He called one of the bartenders over and, since he couldn't talk in front of Alejandra, wrote it down on the paper. The man raised an eyebrow at the odd way of communication, but agreed. A moment later he had two Pepsis in front of them.

Raj took a drink from his, and then texted her (rather courageously, one might add), **So… u single?**

_Ya. U?_

**Ya.** He hesitated, and then added, **Ur like the 1****st**** grl Iv talked 2 since my last grlfrend.**

_Howd u get her if u cudnt talk 2 her?_

**She was def.**

He heard her start laughing as she read his message. _Ur kidding._

**No.**

_Sorry. Didnt mean 2 laf._

**Its ok. its sorta funny now. Cept my frends wont stop ribbing me.**

_Y?_

**Theyr all dating some1.** In his mind, he thought, _even Sheldon._

_Wel 4 what it counts, i think ur chrmng._

He grinned, and then typed back, **So if u cant talk 2 guy, y can u txt me?**

_Well I want 2 talk 2 dem, but I cant make my mouth work rite._

**O.**

_Ya. I got close once… and then I freaked out and started yelling._

He was about to type back, and then another message came.

_…In Spanish._

**XD.**

There was a pause while they both took a drink from their sodas, and then a new song started. His phone buzzed.

_O i luv this 1!_

He reread the message again, and he could feel her looking at him, wondering why he wasn't answering.

He stood up and jerked his offered his hand. She blinked, surprised, and then nodded and took it.

They went and joined the jumping mass of people for the song, and quite a few after that. At one point, Raj found Howard and Bernadette, and then lost them again, and then found them. He thought he caught sight of Alejandra's friend, but if he did, she didn't say anything (of course).

By the time Howard and Bernadette were ready to go, he was exhausted but happy. He caught Alejandra by the arm and mimed texting. She nodded. _You can text me later._

As Howard drove him home, he had only one thought in his mind: there was a pretty (not to mention selectively mute) girl's number in his phone, and she'd given him _permission _to text her again.

Maybe Howard wasn't so wrong about nightclubs, after all.


	2. Chapter 2 Phone call

Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory, the Notebook or Mario Kart. I make no money off of this.

** A/N: just as a heads up, you should all know that I have not nor will ever have smut in my stories.**

**BBT**

"No, Amy, I have to disagree," Sheldon said over the phone, and then sighed. "_Yes,_ I know that it's a historical-based film, deals with neurobiological issues, and is loved by fans of all ages and mental capacities, but-" She cut him off, and he waited patiently (or as patiently as Sheldon Cooper was capable of), before saying "I'm sorry; I simply cannot agree that _The Notebook _is the greatest movie of all time."

There was a pause where his mouth tightened and his eyes traveled upward into his 'incredibly irritated' look, and then his guilty one, and finally the uncommon resigned one. "Fine," he grumbled. "I'll go to the theatrical version with you on Thursday. But you have to promise you won't get angry if I fall asleep." Pause. "Yes, yes, all that. Goodbye." He hung up his phone.

"Girlfriend troubles?" Leonard said, glancing over from his work.

Sheldon shrugged. "I believe it could be more classified as 'female troubles' in general, but yes." There was a pause, and then he said, "I don't suppose I could perchance sneak my phone in?"

"Think about the last time you did that and Amy caught you."

"…Drat."

There was a knock at the door. Leonard walked over to answer it, and let in Howard and Raj, who had his phone out.

"Hey," Howard said, sitting down on the couch. "You guys ready?"

"Yeah, just let me get the game out," Leonard said, standing up. Raj continued to text.

The shorter physicist raised an eyebrow. "What's up with him?" he said, tilting his head towards Raj.

"Oh, he hit it off with a girl last night," Howard answered, getting a soda from the fridge.

"Really? Way to go, buddy!" Leonard said, setting up Mario Kart.

"Way to go what?" Penny said, as she, Bernadette, and Amy walked into the room. Recently, they had started to join in on game night.

"Raj met a girl," Leonard said. "So what's the lucky lady's name?" he asked Raj.

Raj whispered into Howard's ear, and he said for him, "He says her name is Alejandra."

"That's cute," Penny said, walking in and sitting down by Leonard.

Bernadette did the same to Howard. Amy glared at Sheldon for a moment, and then sighed. "Oh, I can't stay angry with you." She walked over and sat down beside him. When she glanced away, Sheldon shot a smug smirk at Leonard, the message clear: _Ba. Zin. Ga._

"Pray tell," he said, when Amy looked back, "How is it you're able to hold a conversation with Alejandra when you're unable to speak to her?"

Raj whispered in Howard's ear again, who said, "He says that she can't talk to boys, either, so they just text." Raj nodded and grinned.

"Aw, that's cute sweetie," Penny said, reaching over and tweaking his cheek. Raj ducked his head, embarrassed.

Soon a full game of Mario Kart was underway, with everyone but Amy playing (even Raj had texted Alejandra that he'd 'txt u ltr'). She didn't particularly enjoy Mario Kart, and in any case she found watching the reactions of her friends a great deal more entertaining. Their facial expressions were pure comedy to her, as well as the stimulants that the game provided.

As she watched, Leonard gritted his teeth in determination as Raj threw a red shell at him, and he tried to dodge out of the way before he was hit. Sheldon's phone buzzed, and he glanced at it, sighing and allowing himself to fall to last as he answered it. Howard, who was in the lead kept blocking second-place Bernadette, who giggled and then attacked him with a blew shell, putting her in first. Leonard was a ways behind now, but struggled to catch up. Sheldon stood. Penny whooped as she came up behind and then passed Bernadette. Raj threw a banana peel. Their faces were determined, faux-angry, happy, entertained, all the expressions alternating on the stimuli-

And then she saw, almost as if in slow-motion, Sheldon's phone slip from his hand, pulled by gravity, and crash to the ground.

Everyone stopped, surprised, and looked at him. His face was frozen, except for a tiny twitch in his lower left jaw. That little twitch was what told them all that something was grievously wrong.

"Sheldon?" Amy questioned.

He glanced toward her, and then looked at Leonard. "I need you to drive me to the airport."

"What? Why?" Leonard said, worried.

"My brother's been in an accident," he said, his voice void of all emotion. Numb. "A drinking-driving accident."

"Oh no," Bernadette gasped softly.

Sheldon walked over to the door, not bothering to get his jacket or even his wallet. "His son's in court custody. I'm needed in Galveston. Immediately."

Amy stood up automatically. "I'll come with."

Sheldon looked as if he were about to object, and then nodded. The three of them quickly exited.

As they drove to the airport, Sheldon gripped Amy's hand, tight-lipped. She looked at him, worried. Instead of riding shotgun, as he usually did, he was in the back with her, staring straight ahead into the back of Leonard's seat. His tight grasp on her hand shook.

Once they reached the airport, they hurried through security and to the counter. Sheldon realized he'd forgotten his wallet at home and couldn't pay for a ticket. "Oh dear," he said, looking as if he were about to have a panic attack. His expression was that of wide-eyed fear, like a horse caught in a wildfire.

"I'll pay," Leonard reassured him, but Amy stopped him.

"Let me," she said to him, and then turned to the lady behind the counter. "Two tickets for Galveston, Texas."

"Two?" Sheldon asked.

"I'm going with," she answered firmly. "You will be in need of assistance."

He nodded silently. As she watched, his numerous tics began toappear: strange blinking, compulsive symmetry, and of course the counting. Amy noticed he was clenching his fists in repeated tens- or, rather, a pattern of threes and sevens. Three was his 'special' number, the one his denied-yet-present OCD took its form in. The neurobiologist part of her her found it fascinating. The caring girlfriend part of her wanted to do anything to help ease his fear. But what could she say? His brother had been in an accident- it had to be a bad one, too, if they were asking Sheldon to come to Texas- and there was nothing she could say or do that would make that go away.

He didn't say anything to them while they were waiting for the plane. Leonard stayed with them, trying to give Sheldon a little comfort. After an hour's wait, they finally heard the lady on the intercom say, "Flight D-23 to Galveston, Texas, gate 17. Boarding will begin shortly."

Amy and Sheldon both stood. Since nearly no one else was flying from Pasadena to Galveston at that time of night, they were the first in line. As Amy showed the man their tickets, Sheldon glanced back at Leonard, as if hoping to draw even a little last-minute comfort. He caught his best friend's eyes, who looked back grimly and nodded.

Then, Amy grabbed the arm of his jacket and pulled him into the Jetway.

**A/N: Don't worry, this angsty stuff will be over soon. BTW, I know I listed Raj as the main character; I have changed that as well as the summary.**


	3. Chapter 3 Custody and Composers

Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory. I make no money off of this.

**BBT**

Leonard drove home alone, worrying. Sheldon, despite all his bravado, was a sensitive person. If his brother didn't make it…

He'd gone cat-crazy when Amy had broken up with him. Imagine what would happen if George Jr. were to die?

He pulled into the parking lot and climbed the seemingly endless flights of stairs to his apartment. Penny was waiting for him outside.

"Is he…?"

"I think he'll be alright, for now. I mean, Amy's with him. She keeps him steady." He tilted his head towards the door. "How's everyone inside?"

"Worried about Sheldon. They're all okay, though." She opened the door, and the two of them walked inside.

He answered pretty much the same questions, and then sat down at the table. Raj whispered something in Howard's ear, who said, "He wants to know where Amy is."

"She went with Sheldon."

Raj nodded. Howard shrugged. "I guess all we can do is wait."

**BBT**

The drive from the Galveston airport to the hospital was one of the worst of Sheldon's life. When they finally got there, a kindly nurse directed them towards George's room… in the intensive care area.

Sheldon stopped in front of the door and took a shaky breath, before knocking thrice- his usual knock, only without the name, as he didn't think he'd be able to speak right now.

Before he could raise his fist again, Mrs. Cooper appeared in the doorway, holding papers in her hands. When she saw who it was, she stepped out into the hall and closed the door behind her.

"Before you go in there, you need to know," she said quickly, and then, "Oh, hello, Amy dear."

"Hello, Mrs. Cooper."

"As I was saying, you need to know: George's son is in court custody."

Sheldon nodded. "So you informed me."

"George named you as his son's caretaker in the case of his death. The courts want to give you legal custody, if you consent."

Sheldon's mouth went dry. "_What? _No- George, is he-_"_

"George is fine… well, as fine as he can be, considering..." Mary swallowed shakily. "Shelly, George was driving drunk with Dalton in the backseat. H-he can't take care of him. You know that."

"I don't-"

"Georgie's wife signed all the papers, and Social Services background checked you. They agreed you'd be a good caretaker. If you show up in court on Monday- three days from now- they'll probably grant you custody." She pushed the papers into his hands, her own trembling.

"But- but why not Missy?" Sheldon said desperately. "She's always wanted children, and-"

"Shelly, this child is… special."

He stopped, blinked. "Special," he said. "You mean he's-"

"Like you. Yes. He's… he's a genius. Shellybean, you know Missy can't support a child right now. You can. And if you don't… sweetie, I'm too old. I can't take in Dalton. I'll be dead by the time he gets out of college. If you don't take him, they'll put him in a home." She gripped his shoulder. "Please, Shelly. He's family. _Your_ family."

Sheldon closed his eyes. "Give me a moment," he said. He walked away from the two women and began to pace.

After a long, long moment, he opened his eyes and nodded. "I'll do it," he said quietly, his face inscrutable. "Now may I see George?"

Mary nodded silently and opened the door. Sheldon walked in, with Amy following behind.

Sheldon stopped short at the sight of his brother, shocked. Wrapped in bandages, George Jr. lay on the bed. His face was bruised, his dark hair slick with dirt and dried blood. His face was bruised, and both legs were in casts. He appeared to be sleeping, since his eyes were closed, but he was breathing too quickly for that.

"George?" Sheldon said calmly, though Amy noticed his hands were shaking.

He opened his bloodshot eyes blearily, scanning the room. "Hey, Smelly," he whispered, smirking slightly. "That you, or 'm I dreamin'?"

"It's me."

"Eh, well… you're lucky I can't move, kid, or I'da tackled ya already."

Sheldon gave a short, choked laugh. "How… how are you feeling?"

George shrugged, and then winced. "Like I got hit by a nuke."

"If you'd been hit by a nuke, you wouldn't be feeling anything," Sheldon said, and then cringed, feeling rather guilty for pointing this out _now, _of all times.

George laughed. "That's my kid brother. So… how'd I get here again?"

"You don't know?"

George Jr. shook his head. "Jus' woke up."

"You were in an automobile accident. You were driving drunk."

He let out a low whistle and laughed. "Yeah. Figured 'is would happen' eventually. Damn, that was some good beer… Got a bottle?"

Sheldon swallowed his disgust. "No," he answered flatly.

"Ah, well. Guess that's that." He frowned suddenly, and then said, "Hey… where's Dalton? He okay?"

Sheldon took a deep breath. "George… Dalton was with you when you collided with another car."

"_What?"_

"He's not dead!" Sheldon said quickly. "He's alright, but…"

"But they're takin' him away, aren' they?" George whispered. He struggled to sit up, bloodshot eyes wide and frantic. "Ya gotta help me, Shel! You're smart an' all- you can help me get Dalton back!"

"I can't do that," Sheldon answered, looking away from his brother's eyes.

"Whadaya mean you can't do that, you can do anythi-" He stopped, finally seeing the papers in his brother's hands. "No," he said, voice low and hoarse. "No! You? Of all people, _you?"_

"You can't take care of him, George!" Sheldon snapped. "You nearly got him killed tonight! What if next time it's not nearly?"

"He's my son!" George bellowed.

"Then you have to do what's best for him!"

"_I'm _what's best for him!"

"You know as well as I that's a lie!"

"You callin' me a liar?"

"I'm saying you're incapable of caring for your own progeny!"

"Oh, so that means you sick bastards can just waltz in and take my son away?"

"You endangered his life! You nearly killed yourself, George, let alone him!"

"He's my kid! You've never even met him!"

"He's my nephew and I have an obligation to keep him _safe_!"

"You can't take him! I'm his father!"

"YOU'RE NOT A FATHER, YOU'RE A DRUNK WHO CARES MORE ABOUT HIS BEER THAN HIS OWN SON!" Sheldon yelled, finally snapping.

There was silence in the room for a split second, before all hell broke lose.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" George roared, trying to get out of the bed, struggling to move. "I'LL KILL YOU, YOU TRAITOR!"

"Sheldon, run!" Amy yelled, yanking open the door and dragging the physicist with her.

They practically sprinted down the hallways, egged on by the continued roars of "I'll kill you!" at their backs.

**BBT**

**(Four days later)**

Seats 28 A, B, and C were all awkwardly silent on the flight back to Pasadena.

Sheldon glanced over at the seven-year-old in the seat beside him. The courts had operated quickly- the whole hearing hadn't lasted more than twenty minutes before custody was granted to Sheldon. After all, the odds had been with him: George's wife had signed him over; George could've killed Dalton; George was a certified drunk; George had lost yet another job that night (which had been the reason for his drinking); and George had, of course, threatened to kill Sheldon, both in the hospital and many times in the courtroom. On the other hand, Sheldon had a paying job, an IQ of a hundred eighty-seven, an apartment, and only one mark on his criminal record (being put into jail for a few hours, due to the incident with the traffic court judge).

Dalton hadn't said anything to him since the moment he'd seen him in the courtroom. Instead, he now sat silently, reading a book. His pale blue eyes scanned the pages quickly, almost hungrily. His face was a rather disconcerting one. That of a child, it had an innocent look to it, but he also seemed very thin and pale, like a fish that had never seen daylight. His brown hair was cut into a standard 'young boy' fashion, and he had scratches, bruises and cuts along his cheeks- all bandaged up, of course, but they had earned them many a stare from the surrounding parents.

Amy (who was sitting on the other side of him) nudged him and tilted her head towards Dalton. The message was clear: _make conversation!_

Sheldon swallowed. He hadn't been good at talking to children even when he _was_ one, let alone now. Still, he would have to talk to the child eventually. So he took a deep breath and said, as pleasantly as he could manage, "Hello."

Dalton looked up at him, his expression unreadable. The child's blank, pale-blue eyes revealed no emotion. "Hello," he answered finally.

"What are you reading?" Sheldon asked, tilting his head to the book.

Dalton lifted it and showed him the title. "A history of classical composers and their legacies," he answered.

Sheldon blinked. "Oh." _Mental note: get the boy some marvel comics._

"It's got a whole thirty pages on Wolfgang Amadeus Motzart, and thirty-five on Ludwig Van Beethoven. It's all separated by era, too: medieval, renaissance, baroque, classical, romantic and modern."

"I see." _Did children always talk this much?_

"Grandma gave me this book, since she said she always used it as a paperweight and not a book. She used to visit me every week, before Daddy yelled at her to stop coming over." Dalton curled in on himself slightly at the mention of his father. A long, awkward pause followed. Sheldon didn't dare look at Dalton.

"So anyway, you're a scientist, right?" Dalton said, changing the subject. "A theoretical physicist. Do you work with string theory?"

"Yes," Sheldon said with pride. "I work with cosmic string, hypothetical so-called 'threads' of energy woven into the very fabric of the space-time continuum itself, if you'll pardon the pun."

"Really? I always wanted to learn about that."

Sheldon was surprised that they had found common ground, a little island in a sea of strange and new situations. "So what do you want to be when you grow up, Dalton?" he asked, truly interested.

"I want to be a concert pianist."

And suddenly that island was hit by high tide.

"O-oh…" Sheldon said uncertainly. He glanced at Amy, who was grinning like a maniac, trying not to burst out laughing. He glared at her and then turned back to Dalton. "So you don't want to become a scientist?"

Dalton shrugged. "Perhaps, but I think that a pianist would be a much more fulfilling career, at least for me personally."

Sheldon was flabbergasted. Why on earth would a genius child like this want to be a concert pianist? Sheldon himself had never really liked music. He had a favorite song and all that, of course, but it had never been high on his priority list, nor had he ever considered it more than a bit of a waste of time.

He stood up and said, "I need to utilize the lavatory. Excuse me." He stepped around Amy's knees (oh, these planes were so horrendously tight!) and walked to the little bathroom.

After, well, using the facilities, he walked out and found himself face-to-face with Amy.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he said, surprised. "Do you need to use the restroom, too?"

She crossed her arms, angry. "That was cowardly."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Don't you pretend you don't know what I'm talking about, Sheldon Cooper. You're seriously running away from a harmless child because you can't _understand_ him? That's rather hypocritical of you, isn't it?"

He drew back, affronted. "I'll have you know I have an IQ of one hundred eighty-"

"Sheldon, your intelligence quotient is hardly the point here! The point is that Dalton Cooper is back there and he thinks you don't like him!"

Sheldon blinked. "He told you that?"

"Of course not. But he acts just like you, haven't you noticed? He even looks like you."

The both glanced back towards the boy in the seat. His pale, thin face, his arctic blue eyes, his little-boy style brown hair…

"I don't see it," Sheldon said bluntly, turning back to her.

"Oh for Hadron's sake, Sheldon, go back there!" she hissed, pushing him in the direction of the seven-year-old.

Sheldon stumbled forward, and then tried to walk casually to his seat. He sat down and gave the best smile he could manage as Dalton looked over at him.

The boy looked down at his book, unimpressed. "We both know that's not a real smile, Dr. Cooper."

Sheldon dropped the act and rolled his eyes. "Just trying to be hospitable."

"You don't have to pretend you like me. I know you don't."

Sheldon blinked. "Whatever made you think that?"

Dalton shrugged and turned the page. "Lots of people don't. To put it crudely, they think I'm weird."

Sheldon pursed his lips, and then said, "Well, that's no reason to assume _nobody_ likes you."

"Isn't it?"

"Of course not; that's simply preposterous. After all, not many people like _me,_ either, but I do have a few friends."

Dalton looked up at him. "You mean Leonard and Penny and Raj and Howard and Bernadette?"

"Firstly, you should be using pauses to indicate commas, instead of repeating the word 'and.' Secondly, yes, and how did you know all that?"

Dalton shrugged. "Grandma told me all about them." He nodded towards Amy, who was waiting in line for the restroom. "She's Amy, right? Your girlfriend."

"That's correct."

"You care about her," he stated plainly. "I can tell. You do whatever she tells you to do. She's the one who told you to talk to me, isn't she?"

"Yes," Sheldon admitted.

"You act like she's your wife."

Sheldon choked. "I- that's- _what_?"

Dalton turned another page. "Simply making an observation, Dr. Cooper."

"Excuse me, would either of you like anything to drink?"

They both looked over at the flight attendant, who had the drink car. "Yes, please," Dalton said eagerly.

"What would you like, sweetie?"

"Ginger ale."

"And you, sir?" she said, turning to Sheldon.

"Same."

She smiled and poured them two ginger ales, handing one to each. As she started to move on, she said, "Like father, like son."

"He's not my father!" Dalton said hotly, at the same time that Sheldon corrected, "He's not my son!"

Unfortunately, at that exact moment, the plane hit some turbulence, waking a baby and sending her wails throughout the cabin, effectively blocking out their protests.

Amy came back and sat beside them a few minutes later, doing her best not to smirk. Obviously she had seen and understood the entire thing. Dalton and Sheldon sent her identical glares of fury, which, of course, only caused another noise to the loud cabin: that of Amy's snorting laughter.

**A/N: So, angsty beginning, (hopefully) a funny end. Hope you enjoyed! *****Takes off top hat and bows***** I live to serve.**


	4. Chapter 4 Chocolate Cheesecake

Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory. I make no money off of this story.

**A/N: Thanks for all your wonderful feedback!**

** Munchkin: yeah, I believe you're correct about the 'bazinga' bit. I looked it up to see if it would work, and it said another possible meaning was 'in your face,' but I think you're right.**

** Tomasina: you're right, that would have been more plausible.**

** Thank you all again; constructive criticism is always welcome (except when it's rudely put), and thanks for reading!**

**Now, on to the story!**

**BBT**

**So wud u lik 2 get sumthin 2 eat?**

Raj held his breath, waiting for the reply. He had officially just asked her out on a date. What would she say?

His phone dinged. He opened the message, swallowing.

_Ya sure. Wher do u wanna go?_

He exhaled with relief. "Yes!"

"What?" Howard asked. They were both sitting on Leonard's couch, since Leonard himself was on a coffee date with Penny.

"I'm going out with Alejandra! Tonight!"

"That's great, buddy!" Howard said, patting him on the back. "Where?"

Raj stopped short. "Um… Good question." He picked the phone back up.

**Hav u evr been 2 da cheesecake factory?**

_No, is it good?_

**Ya. Wher's ur aprtmnt? Can I pic u up?**

_I live in the Los Robles apartment complex. Sixth floor._

Raj stopped, surprised. "No way," he said to Howard.

"No way what?"

Raj showed him the message. "She lives here! Two floors up!"

"You're kidding."

"No! How did we not _know_ this!" He sent her a quick message: **Give me a minute.**

_Um… okay, why?_

He didn't answer. Instead, he ran out of Leonard's apartment, up two flights of stairs, and into the hallway.

**Step outside.**

Down the hall a ways, a door opened, and Alejandra stepped outside, looking the wrong way. Raj grinned.

Quietly, he snuck up on her, and then tapped her on the shoulder.

"Ay!" she yelped, whirling around. When she saw Raj standing there, her eyes went wide.

Raj quickly pulled out his phone and typed something on it, showing her. **My friends live two floors down.**

Her mouth dropped open. She quickly ran back inside her apartment and got her own phone. _Then why didn't we meet?_

Raj shrugged. **I don't know. When did you move in?**

_A few weeks ago._

**C? We just met.**

_O. So wher we goin to eat?_

**Cheesecake Factory?**

She nodded. _Ya. See you tonight, Raj._

He finished reading the text and looked up, just as her door closed. He stared at it for a minute, numb, before it hit him:

_He was going on a date._

Raj managed to make it down to Leonard's apartment before he fainted in shock.

**BBT**

"We're back!" Amy called as Sheldon opened the door.

The occupants- everyone minus Raj- looked over. "Hey!" Leonard said, waving. "Come on in, guys, we've got dinner and- who's that?"

For they had suddenly seen Dalton walk through the door.

"This is Dalton Cooper," Sheldon said calmly. "He will be staying with us."

"Um, for how long?" Leonard asked. Nobody heard him.

"Oh, hello sweetie!" Penny gushed, looking at the cute little boy. "It's nice to meet you!"

Dalton stepped forward and took her hand. He put a light kiss on it and said, "Echanté, mademoiselle."

"Awww!" she said, looking back at Leonard with a look of happy surprise. "Guys, isn't he adorable!"

"I used that same line on you the first time we met, and you definitely didn't call me 'adorable,'" Howard grumbled.

"Look, not to be rude, Dalton, but… why are you here?" Leonard asked.

Dalton glanced at Sheldon, who stepped forward. "I have agreed to take Dalton on as his legal guardian, for the time being."

"What?" Leonard choked out, as Penny patted his back.

"I said, I've taken him in," Sheldon repeated. "Really, Leonard, you should get your hearing checked."

"Right. Will do," he answered, voice raspy. "What did you mean, 'for the time being?'"

"My brother, though furious with me, has been ordered by the court to go to alcoholics anonymous meetings. The case will be revisited in three months; if, by that time, my brother is truly sober, he could try and have the custody agreement reversed. Until that point, Dalton will be staying here."

"Sheldon, where will he sleep?" Penny asked with a frown.

"I intend on purchasing a bed for him, but until that time, he will be sleeping in my room."

"Where will _you_ sleep?" she said, worried he might insist on coming over to her house.

Sheldon blinked. "On the couch, of course. Where else would I sleep?"

Everyone gaped for a moment, before they quickly tried to pretend what he'd said was normal for him. Thankfully, Sheldon hadn't noticed. Instead, he asked, "We seem to be missing one from our usual number, though this of course is made up by Dalton. Still, I believe I'm required to ask, where is Rajesh? Is he in the lavatory?"

"No, he's on a date," Bernadette replied.

"Unlikely," Sheldon said, walking towards his spot on the couch.

"It's true," said Howard with a shrug. "They went to the Cheesecake factory."

"Yep. My friend Amanda is gonna text me the deets," Penny added happily.

Dalton glanced at Sheldon. "I'd assume she's Penny?"

"Why yes I am!" Penny said, flattered. "How did you know?"

"…Lucky guess."

Penny caught the meaning and looked up at Sheldon. "Wow. He's just like you, only he's got tact."

"Thank you," Dalton said. "Dr. Koothrappali has selective mutism when it comes to women, correct? How is it he is able to go on a social outing with a woman if he can't speak?"

"She's the same way," Howard informed him.

"Ah."

"Wait, how do you know that?" Bernadette asked.

"Grandma told me."

Everyone turned to Sheldon, who stared back. "What?" he said, slightly defensive.

"Is there _anything_ you don't tell your mother?"

"Of course," Sheldon said, offended. "I only tell her what she can worm out of me."

"Which is…?" Penny prompted.

He shifted guiltily. "…Quite a bit. For instance, she knows about Raj and Howard's Sailor Moon incident."

Howard threw his hands in the air. "Kill me now."

"What's the Sailor Moon incident?" Dalton questioned eagerly.

"Never mind," everyone said hurriedly.

**BBT**

_This is good, _Alejandra wrote down on the paper. They had opted for longhand instead of texting. _I'm almost stuffed. _She set down the pencil and took a bite of her pasta.

**Hope you have room for desert, **Raj wrote. She smiled, and he called over the waiter. He quickly wrote something on the paper and showed it to her. The girl didn't even bat an eye at the strangeness of this and nodded.

As she walked away, she pulled out a phone and texted Penny:

OK he just ordrd 2 slices of chscke.

The reply was quick: Wat kind?

Chclate.

Prfct. Ny wine?

No. Y?

No reason. Keep me postd!

Will do. –Amanda

**You like chocolate, right?** Raj wrote, back at the table. She nodded. Amanda brought two slices of chocolate cheesecake over to their table. Raj nodded his thanks, pushing one of the slices towards Alejandra as Amanda walked away.

Alejandra took a bite out of the cake, and then let out a little sigh of happiness. She gave Raj a, _this is really good!,_ nod.

He ate his own slice of chocolate cheesecake, trying to alternate between looking at his desert and looking at her. She really was beautiful, with black hair, caramel-colored skin, and dark, lignite-colored eyes that shined.

He blinked and mentally shook himself; he had a bat habit of falling for pretty women who rejected him within days, and he wasn't going to make the same mistake again.

After they were finished eating and Raj had paid the bill, they drove back to the apartment. Raj walked her up the six flights of stairs to her door.

She opened the door, typed a message on her phone and showed it to him. It read, _Tonight was nice._

He wrote back, **Thnx.**

_I guess ill see u tomorrow?_

He nodded, and then, on impulse, leaned forward and kissed her on the lips.

The contact only lasted a second before he pulled away, biting his lip and not daring to meet her eyes, wondering if he'd just ruined everything.

Instead of being angry, though, Alejandra smiled, ducking her head shyly. She gave a little 'goodbye' wave, and then stepped inside her apartment, closing the door. Raj gave a little half-wave, even though she couldn't see him, and then walked back towards the stairs.

**BBT**

Sheldon couldn't get comfortable.

He had tried at least a baker's dozen different ways to try and get some sleep, but nothing had worked. It wasn't his bed, and he slept in his bed.

_It's only for the time being,_ Sheldon told himself. _You can purchase another bed for Dalton tomorrow. Besides, this whole fiasco's only temporary._ He pictured the look on his mother's face when he had agreed to help Dalton, and sighed. _I never can say no to her…_

He sat up, knowing that he wasn't going to get much shut-eye tonight. He glanced at the clock; it was nearly midnight.

He looked around the room. It was normal as usual, except…

Except there was light coming from underneath his bedroom door.

Frowning, he stood up and walked over to his room. He knocked gently three times, and heard a quiet, "Come in."

He walked inside. Dalton was lying down on the bed, holding up a book of some sort and reading it by lamplight.

"Isn't it time you were asleep?" Sheldon said, crossing his arms.

"Not to sound like a typical child of my age, but you really aren't my mother, Dr. Cooper. Not that she would give me a bed time in any case."

Sheldon raised an eyebrow. "Be that as it may, you're not living with your mother, you are living my roommate and me. Hence, you will abide by our rules, and that means bedtime by eleven at the latest."

Dalton sighed and sat up, reaching for the light. As he was about to pull the cord, Sheldon suddenly caught sight of the book.

"Hold on," he said, frowning. He walked over and picked up the book, looking at it.

He looked at Dalton, surprised. "This is all sheet music."

"Yes," Dalton said, as if he were wondering why the physicist was pointing this out.

"Do you mean to say you can read this?"

"Plenty of middle school band students can read music, Dr. Cooper; it's not rocket science."

"I'm aware of both how to read music and how to perform rocket science, Dalton. What I mean to say is, can you hear the music when you read it, the way most people hear words when they read them?"

Dalton nodded. "It's easy. And I love that song, the one you're turned to; the melody is highly expressive. It's beautiful."

Sheldon looked down at the sheet music, then back at Dalton with just the tiniest hint of awe in his eyes, something that was rarely seen and even more rarely admitted. "That's… well, simply put, that's incredible."

"You think so?" Dalton said, suddenly looking a little apprehensive.

"Of course. I never had much of a taste for music, but I know how difficult it can be. My mother tried to teach me piano when I was younger; it was an endeavor that failed horribly. As much as I hate to say it, you have a talent."

Dalton let out a tiny ghost of a grin. "Thank you, Dr. Cooper."

"You're welcome. Now, turn off the light, and go to sleep. And I don't want you turning it on again after I've left, understood?"

"Yes, Dr. Cooper. Have a good night."

Sheldon nodded and walked out of the room. Behind him, Dalton turned off the lamp.

The theoretical physicist went back to the couch and lay down, pulling the blanket back over him. Strangely enough, he was suddenly very tired, instead of restless, and within minutes he had fallen into a deep, dreamless sleep…


	5. Chapter 5 Children

Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory. I make no money off of this. I got the information of school registration from www. hcps Parents/registeringforschool. aspx (minus spaces).

_**A/N: For whatever reason, the site didn't bump me up to the top of the 'new' list when I updated last time, so if you have yet to read Chapter 4, please do so.**_

** Justheretoreadandreview: Oh wow, you're right! I always assumed he lived in the same apartment complex, on the same floor… dumb assumption, I know. I looked it up; he lives in a different apartment complex (and that took a heckuva lot of work to find that, I tell you!), so I'll change that. Thanks!**

**BBT**

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

Howardsat up and rubbed his eyes, hitting the alarm clock. He looked over at Bernadette, who was blinking in the early morning light that spilled in through the window.

Her eyes caught his, and she smiled dazedly. "Morning, Howie," she said softly.

"Good morning," he replied, kissing the tip of her nose. She giggled.

Then, his face grew more serious. "It's time," he told her.

She pressed her lips together and sat up, looking worried. "It is?"

He nodded. "A week to the day."

She took a deep breath. "…Alright," she said shakily, as if trying to convince herself.

"Hey," he said, cupping the side of her face with his hand. "It's gonna be okay, Bernadette."

"But what if it isn't?" she said softly, so softly it was almost a whisper.

"It will be," he said, firmer. When she still looked unconvinced, he told her, "No matter what, I'm still going to love you, okay? I'll always love you."

She smiled. "You're so sweet. I love you too, Howie."

"Yeah, well, I'm pretty loveable," he joked. "Now go on, Mrs. Wolowitz."

She took another deep breath. "Okay." She got out of bed, walked across the hall to the bathroom, and closed the door.

Howard waited. And waited. He didn't know how long it had been- he hadn't thought to check the clock when she went in- but it felt like an eternity.

When she finally came out, she was holding two little white sticks. "I haven't looked yet," she said, swallowing. Her eyes looked huge behind her glasses.

She sat down on the edge of the bed beside him. "On three," he said. "One."

"Two."

"Three," they said at the same time, and she uncovered her hand.

There on the tests were two little plus signs.

Bernadette yelled out a tiny half-shriek of joy and practically jumped on Howard, hugging him. Howard was laughing with relief. "We're going to have a baby," he said. "We're going to be parents!"

"Howie, let's go out for ice cream," she said, pulling away.

He laughed. "You _just_ found out you're pregnant, Bernadette."

"Not cravings, silly, to celebrate!" She let out a slightly hyper giggle. "I'm going to be a mom!"

"Yes you are," he grinned, and, picking her up bridal style, whirled her around and kissed her square on the lips.

**BBT**

"Mmm…"

Both Leonard and Sheldon looked over into the hall, surprised. Dalton walked out, rubbing his eyes and blinking.

"Oh, good, you're up," Sheldon said. "I hope you like Oatmeal. We usually have it on Mondays, but its optional on Tuesdays, as well."

"It's my favorite breakfast food," Dalton answered, yawning. Sheldon took a bowl out of the cupboard and ladled some of the oatmeal into it.

He handed it to Dalton and said, "We have a lot to do today, so eat up."

Dalton took a spoonful of the oatmeal, swallowed, and said, "Like what?"

"You will be enrolling in school today."

"Where?" Dalton asked, immediately awake.

"At Willford Public Elementary. It's a school only a few blocks away from Caltech, actually."

_Knock-knock._

Sheldon blinked and stood, walking over to the door. He peeked out the peephole and then opened it. "Amy, what a lovely surprise."

Amy Farrah Fowler stood in the doorframe, holding a duffle bag in one hand and a sleeping bag in the other. She was dressed in an old nightgown, and her hair looked snarled and distressed, like she'd just woken up (which maybe she had). "Hardly," she grumbled. "Am I interrupting breakfast?"  
"Oh, uh, no, come on in," Leonard said.

"Thank you." She stepped inside the apartment and Sheldon closed the door behind her. "I hate to intrude, but I am in need of your assistance."

"Assistance of what sort?" Dalton asked.

"I've been evacuated from my apartment."

"Don't you mean 'evicted?'" Leonard asked.

"No. I took some work home to my apartment on Friday evening; the night Sheldon received the phone call to come to Galveston. I was intending to work on it over the weekend. Unfortunately, in the early hours of this morning, a pigeon got into the apartment via a window I had foolishly let open and knocked over the jar holding the monkey brain as well as a number of chemical tubes. The escaping fumes from the resulting reaction made my apartment unlivable. I only managed to escape with this much, and now the apartment has been declared unsafe for an indeterminable amount of time."

There was a pause, before Sheldon said, "So why are you here?"

"I need a place to stay. Temporarily, of course."

"Why not with Penny?" Leonard suggested. "You've stayed at her place before."

"Penny informed me that while she would be happy to have me at any other time, unfortunately her family from Nebraska will be arriving tomorrow."

"That's right, she told me about that," Leonard recalled.

"A whole family of Penny-like individuals?" Sheldon said, grimacing. "Good Lord, Amy, you must be joking."

"Unfortunately for you, I'm not," Amy said. "I know you're what one might call a full house at the moment, but if I could perhaps sleep on the floor I would be very grateful."

"Nonsense; you will have the couch," Sheldon said. "I'll sleep on the floor."

"You hate sleeping on the floor," Amy pointed out.

"Correct, I do. However, social convention dictates that a gentleman should offer the better spot to his girlfriend, and as a gentleman you shall have it," he said, as if that settled the matter.

"Thank you," Amy said. "Be assured I will do my best to repay the favor to both of you."

"Eh, don't worry about it," Leonard said, waving it away. He checked his watch and quickly stood up. "Hey, Sheldon, if we want to register Dalton we should get a move on."

"Alright. Amy, would you like to drive there with us? We can drive you to work afterwards."

"Yes, I would. Thank you."

**BBT**

"Alright, and here's his birth certificate, his social security card, our apartment lease, and medical records," Sheldon said, handing the lady at the registration office the manila folder.

She looked through it, and then said, "You forgot your proof of parental relationship."

"He isn't my father," Dalton said.

The lady blinked. "Excuse me?"

"He's my nephew, but I have a court order as proof of my custody," Sheldon said, pointing to the last page in the folder.

She checked it, and then nodded. "What grade would you like to enroll him in?"

"Third grade, Willford Elementary."

"Alright." She typed the information into the computer, and the nodded. "Your nephew can start classes next week. You're lucky; they had a few openings."

"Next week?" Sheldon said, incredulous. "That's much too late."

"Sir, if you expected your nephew to be in school today, you were sadly mistaken. A week is the absolute best we can get you, and you'll be happy to know that that is an insanely good waiting time."

"Well, what do you suggest I do?"

"Take the boy to work with you; he can sit in your cubicle and play compter games."

Both Dalton, Sheldon, Amy and Leonard stared at her, before Leonard interjected, "Yeah, that's a great idea, thank you. Come on, guys; I don't want to be late."

"A cubicle," Sheldon said, as they walked out of the registration building. "A cubicle. Do I look like the sort of person who would sit in a cramped little space all day and process paperwork?"

"Let it go, buddy. Let it go."

**BBT**

"So this is your work?" Dalton said, studying one of the numerous whiteboards.

"Yes," Sheldon said, working on the other side. "What do you think of it?"

Dalton bit his lip, and then said, "It's unbalanced."

Sheldon glanced over. "Well of course it's unbalanced. I haven't finished it yet."

Dalton studied it for a moment, and then said, "I don't know much about theoretical physics, but… is it possible you'd be allowed to multiply it by the matrix of (4, -7)?"

Sheldon looked over, surprised, and then shook his head. "No, that would leave it too heavy on one side. See, look here." He showed it to him, and then worked out the problem.

Dalton nodded. "I see… Well, sorry for wasting your time."

"Don't be. You're much better than Rajesh; there are days he does nothing _but_ waste my time, usually after a breakup."

Dalton frowned. "Speaking of Dr. Koothrappali, where is he?"

"I believe he went to the rest room…" Sheldon went back to working on his equation again, frowning.

Dalton was silent for a moment, and then said, "May I go out into the cafeteria?"

"You may."

"Thank you, Dr. Cooper."

He picked up his backpack and walked to the cafeteria. It was fairly empty, but he didn't mind. He sat down and, after glancing around, took an envelope out of his backpack.

He opened up the envelope and took out a few photos from inside the pictures. He looked at the first- one of him on his third birthday- then the second, then the third.

The last photo was a picture of three people: a young woman with pixie-cut blonde hair, streaked with pink highlights; George Jr. holding a beer and flashing a peace sign at the camera; and Dalton, who was waving at the picture-taker. All three were standing in front of a trailer house, the sky blue and the trees and grass emerald green.

_"Smile for the picture, Dalton!"_

_ There was laughing from somewhere in the trailer park. Birds were singing. Cicadas clicked and buzzed._

_ "My, isn't that just a lovely scene."_

_ "Don't get all sentimental, Mary; it's just a picture."_

_ "Now, Alexis, ever picture is a memory you know. On three now: one. Two. Three!"_

_ Click!_

Dalton put the picture down, underneath the others. He picked up his school photo, another of George holding a beer.

_"Get me a beer, Dalton."_

_ "Alcohol slows cognitive functions."_

_ "Dammit, I said get me a beer, you no-good sonofabitch!"_

He closed his eyes and slipped it under another. He didn't dare look at the next one, but instead, put them all back in the envelope without opening his eyes. He didn't want to look at them. They hardly even mattered anymore.

Hardly.

**BBT**

"-And that is why astrophysics will be made obsolete after I prove my theories," Sheldon said to Raj.

"Dude, you know you can't prove _any_ of those theories without astrophysics," Raj answered. "And-"

"Dr. Cooper, may I ask you a question?" Dalton (who had been silent the entire lunch) interrupted.

"I suppose so; what is it?" Sheldon asked, taking a bite out of his tuna fish casserole.

"How many girls have you kissed?"

Sheldon choked on his casserole. Raj whacked him on the back. "I beg your pardon?" Sheldon said once he'd recovered, eyes watering.

"How many girls have you kissed?" Dalton repeated. "Not including family, of course."

"Amy Farrah Fowler is the only girl I have ever kissed, if you're not counting Leonard's mother."

Now it was Leonard's turn to choke. "What?"

"Relax, my friend; she was completely intoxicated and had no idea what she was doing."

"Wasn't Amy drunk as well, when she kissed you?" Dalton pointed out.

"Yes, but the two incidents were highly different."

"How so?"

"Well for one, Amy's still eligible for the Forty under 40 award, where as I believe Dr. Beverly Hofstadter is not."

"She isn't," Leonard mumbled, still trying to mentally erase the idea of his mother kissing his best friend from his mind.

"For another, contrary to what you all seem to believe, I am affectionate towards Dr. Fowler, whereas I find no attraction aside from that of another like-minded intellect in Dr. Hofstadter."

"Oh, shot down again, Weonawd."

Sheldon looked over his shoulder, surprised. Kripke was standing there with his arms crossed, smirking.

"He was talking about my mother, Kripke," Leonard said, rolling his eyes.

"Suw he was," Kripke said. "Anyway, I was just wondewing who this wittow fewwa was." He nodded towards Dalton.

The child's face had gone from its usual innocent, clever look to that of a cold, icy wall. "Dalton Cooper," he said flatly. "You must be Barry Kripke."

"Why yes, how did you know?"

"Lucky guess," he answered, with none of the warmth he'd shown Penny.

Kripke drew back, affronted. Then, he smirked again. "Ooh, having a wittow kid defend you now, Shewdon?"

"Well if you can be bested by a 'wittow kid,' then I certainly don't need defending," Sheldon replied.

Kripke laughed. "Yeah, okay, Shewdon. Water, woosers." He walked away. Just as he was about to exit through the cafeteria doors, he turned back towards the talbe. "Oh, and way to go on the kid, Shewdon! Didn't know you had it in you to knock a giwl up!" He turned back around.

Amy Farrah Fowler smiled at him pleasantly. "Hello, Dr. Kripke."

SMACK!

**BBT**

"You didn't have to slap him," Sheldon pointed out.

"Of course I did. He implied that we were having a carnal relationship, and regardless of my feelings on the matter I had to, pardon me, _set him stwaight._"

Sheldon couldn't help but grin smugly at the other three physicists, who were staring at Amy like an alien from outer space. "Close your mouths, gentlemen; to put it bluntly, she's taken."

"I like the sound of that," Amy murmured.

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing… By the way, where is Howard?"

Raj shrugged and whispered to Leonard. "He says, 'I don't know. I texted him this morning, and the only answer I got was, 'tell you tonight.'"

"I see. I guess we'll have to wait for our information, then. So, Dalton, how are you liking Caltech?"

"Fine, thank you. Do you work here?"

"No. I work as a neurobiologist, but I often come here to eat lunch.* Today, however, I have another motive." Amy pulled a small plastic bag out of her purse and handed it to him.

Dalton blinked and took the bag. He reached inside and pulled out a book. "Musical Genius: the science behind creating and understanding music," he read.

"Thought you might want it for some light reading, seeing as you'll be stuck here all day," said Amy.

"Thank you, Dr. Fowler!" Dalton said, obviously excited. He got out of his chair and hugged Amy.

She blinked, surprised, and then smiled. "You're very welcome. Now eat your food."

"Yes ma'am." He quickly got back in his chair and started to eat his cafeteria green beans.

Sheldon looked at her, slightly impressed. "I wouldn't have thought of that."

"I know."

"How?"

The corners of her lips twitched into a small smirk. "Ask your mother." She checked her watch. "I have to get going. I'll see you later." She kissed him on lips, a good kiss of at least a few seconds, and then left.

As the cafeteria doors closed, Sheldon calmly took a bite out of his casserole.

"Sheldon? You okay?" Leonard said, worried at his friend's lack of response.

Sheldon swallowed, and then said, "Leonard?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry about the mess."

"What?"

THUNK. Sheldon fainted into his casserole.

Everyone stared silently for a moment, before Dalton said, "Wow. I wonder what he did when she kissed him drunk?"

"You and me both, buddy," Leonard said. "You and me both."

***A/N: I'm fairly sure Amy doesn't work at Caltech, since she's a neurobiologist and has her own lab, not a physicist, but I could be wrong- I can't seem to find an answer anywhere.**


	6. Chapter 6 Chili

Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I own nada, I make nada.

"You know, it wouldn't kill you to sit in a different seat," Leonard pointed out.

"I am perfectly aware that the location of my posterior is not conducive to impending doom, Leonard."

"Then why don't you?"

Sheldon blinked. "I don't want to."

The shorter physicist sighed and dropped it. "So where's Dalton?"

"In my room. He seems to enjoy being alone."

"Sounds like another genius I know."

Sheldon looked surprised. "Who?"

Before he could answer, there was a knock at the door. He walked over and opened it. "Hey guys," Penny said, walking into the room. She gave Leonard a quick kiss on the cheek and sat down. He took a seat next to her. "So where are the others, huh?"

"They're coming. Apparently Raj is bringing his new girlfriend to meet us, and Howard and Bernadette have some big news."

"And I'm already here," Amy said, walking out of the bathroom. "Hello, Bestie."

"Hey Amy." Penny sighed.

Amy frowned. "Did I do something wrong?"

"It's not you; I'm tired from cleaning all day, since my family's coming tomorrow."

"You cleaned?" Sheldon said, surprised. She nodded. "I'm impressed."

"Gee, thanks."

"Sarcasm?"

"What tipped you off?"

"Well, mainly the- that was more sarcasm, wasn't it?"

The door opened, and Raj walked in. Behind him followed a pretty dark-haired girl, whom all assumed was Alejandra.

Sheldon stood and offered his hand. She shook it as he said, "Welcome to our apartment, may I get you a cold beverage?"

She blinked, and then nodded. As Sheldon walked over to the fridge, she glanced at Amy, as if to say, Is he yours?

Amy nodded. "Have to love those southern good manners."

Sheldon handed her a can of Pepsi and said, "It's Leonard's, not mine. I don't drink caffeine."

"You only make that mistake once," Penny agreed.

The door opened again. "Hey, everyone!" Bernadette said, walking through.

A chorus of "hey"s followed as Howard followed her in. "So," Penny said. "What's the big news?"

Howard and Bernadette looked at each other, grinning. "I'm pregnant!" Bernadette burst out.

"No way, really? "

"That's great!"

Raj smiled and flashed them an excited thumbs up.

"Excuse me for putting a damper on the mood," Sheldon said, "but weren't you against the idea of having children, Bernadette?"

"I was but..." She trailed off.

"Oh come on, you can't say something like that and. not spill!" Penny said. Raj nodded eagerly.

"Well... about a week after Howie got back from space, I was at the supermarket, and I saw this mother with her little baby boy." Bernadette's face grew wistful. "He was so tiny, with this little button nose... And I don't know, I just couldn't help it, I touched little hand."

"You touched another woman's baby?" Amy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes. The mother was real understanding, but I was so embarrassed," Bernadette said, wincing. "She asked if I had any kids at home, and I told her I didn't... And I realized that it made me sad." She gave a little smile. "I wanted my own little button-nosed baby"

"So we started trying and as you can see it worked " Howard said, grinning like an idiot.

"Well that's great, sweetie, just great," Penny gushed.

"Thanks." Bernadette suddenly caught sight of Alejandra. "I'm sorry, I don't think we met. I'm Bernadette; you must be Alejandra." Alejandra nodded. "Well it's nice to meet you. This is Howard, Leonard, Penny..." She quickly introduced everyone. "And of course you know Raj. There, everybody knows everybody."

"So, we ready to go to the Cheesecake Factory?" Howard asked.

Alejandra looked at Penny, confused, so the blonde clarified, "They eat at the Cheesecake Factory every Tuesday, where I work. Bernadette used to, too."

Alejandra typed something on her phone and showed it to them.

Amy nodded. "Yes, they go every single Tuesday. Sheldon's OCD dictates he conform to a rigidly defined schedule."

"I am and it does not!"

"You realize how conflicting that statement is, don't you?"

"I-irrelevant!" Sheldon sputtered. "I am not controlled by habit or routine!" (Everyone suddenly became very interested in the carpet).

"Fine," Amy said calmly. "Then prove it."

Sheldon opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out. He tried again. "I-"

Amy watched expectantly.

Sheldon steeled his will. "Fine!" he snapped. "Fine! Let's forgo habit!"

"What do you mean?" Leonard asked.

"Tonight, we will eat here, instead of at the Cheesecake Factory." He nodded, as if to say, _so there!_

"Terrific, I brought chili ingredients," Amy said, standing up. "Penny, Bernadette, Alejandra, care to join me?"

"Sure thing, Amy," Penny said, getting up. All four women walked into the kitchen.

The other three men snickered. Sheldon frowned. "What?"

"Dude, you got suckered into that one like a kid in a candy shop," Raj said, quiet enough so none of the girls could hear him.

"Suckered into what? You think she planned this?"

"Why else would she have brought chili stuff?" Howard asked.

"Amy is a remarkable woman; perhaps she carries chili ingredients around on a daily basis," Sheldon said defensively.

Leonard snorted. "Sure. You keep telling yourself that"

Meanwhile in the kitchen, the girls were having their own conversation.

"I'm worried," Bernadette confessed.

"About which part?" Penny asked.

"About the, um..." She glanced over at the guys to make sure they weren't listening, and then said in a low voice (or low for her), "Birth."

"I talked to my mother about this when I first entered college," Amy said, taking the previously prepared ingredients.

"What did she say?"

"She told me it was excruciatingly painful," Amy reported matter-of-factly. "To be fair, it was a speech designed to convince me to keep my legs crossed."

"Oh," Bernadette said in a small voice.

"She also said it was completely worth it," Amy added.

Bernadette bit her lip. "I just... for the longest time, I didn't want children, and now... I want to be a mom more than anything."

"I am sure you will be a wonderful mother," Alejandra said.

They looked at her, surprised. It was the first time they'd ever heard her speak. Her voice was a soft, sweet alto with a distinct accent. "Thanks," Bernadette said, giving her a grateful smile.

"So, Alejandra-" Penny said.

"Call me Ale."

"Okay, Ale, tell us about Raj."

Ale shrugged. "You know him better than I do."

"Not really. He can't really talk to any of us," Bernadette sighed. "And when he does, he's always drunk."

"We only know what Howard says for him," Amy agreed. "So: spill every little detail."

"Well, he's... sweet," Ale said. "And he's incredibly smart. I like that in a man."

"You're a physics professor, right?" Penny asked.

"Yes. I don't feel, ah, out of place around him."

"So you guys don't talk or anything?" Bernadette questioned.

"We write and text..." Ale trailed off, thinking she sounded rather pathetic.

To her surprise, however, nobody else seemed to think so. "Oh, that's so cute!" Penny squealed.

"Absolutely," Amy agreed with a nod, glancing over from the stove.

"So, I know who you all are," Ale said, "But I'm not sure how this whole group works, except that Howard and Bernadette are together."

"Oh, okay, quick rundown," Penny said. "I live across the hall and I'm dating Leonard."

"For now," Amy added. When Penny gave her a look, she said, "Just stating the truth, Bestie."

"Well why don't you tell her about you and wackadoodle, huh?" Penny challenged.

"Of course. I am Sheldon's girlfriend."

"Sheldon?" Ale said, trying (and failing) to hide her surprise.

"Alejandra, for your information I am a neurobiologist. I can spot the signs of feigned nonchalance a mile away."

"I apologize; I didn't think he was he type to..."

"Have a girlfriend? An understandable mistake; I take pride in saying I was the one who changed that."

"You forgot to mention he was the one who changed that about you," Penny pointed out.

"Not true. I did date Tony Medson in my junior year of high school. It lasted three weeks until I found him making out with Ashley Winkman, the homecoming queen, behind the gym. The resulting breakup was short and not at all sweet."

"Oh. I'm so sorry," Ale said.

"So was Tony. It turned out Ashely had only been going out with him to make my life miserable, but in the end he was the one who ended up with no girlfriend and no self-esteem." She turned up the flame on the stove. "As you can see, everything turned out for the best for everyone. Well, aside from Tony, and he deserved to die alone without even a cat." She gave a rather vicious stir to the chili.

Ale nodded uncertainly, and then turned to Bernadette. "So you and Howard are married and-"

"We're expecting," Bernadette said with a nervous little smile, putting a hand to her belly.

"Congratulations."

Forty-five minutes later; Amy served up the chili. When everyone had gotten a bowl, she said, "I'm going to go give some to Dalton. He might be a loner but he isn't going to starve."

She ladled some of the chili into a bowl and poured a glass of milk. While the conversation carried on behind her, she knocked twice on the door.

"Come in."

She opened the door and walked inside. Dalton was lying on the bed, reading. "I brought you some chili," she said, walking over and handing it to him.

"Obviously."

"Not necessarily. For all you know, I could've been about to hand you monkey brain fluid, dyed with food coloring to make it look like chili."

"Touché." He took a small bite of the chili, but Didn't take another.

"Do you not like it?" Amy asked.

"I'm not hungry."

She frowned, unconvinced. "That's highly unlikely. You have had nothing to eat since lunch this afternoon, and you hardly touched your tuna casserole."

"…"

Amy sighed. "Dalton, would you like to eat with us?"

"I would prefer not to, Dr. Fowler."

"You may call me Amy."

His face twitched. "I respectively decline."

"Why? What prevents you from calling me, and more pressingly, Sheldon by our first names?"

He straightened up on the bed, looking at her with serious eyes. "I have not seen Dr. Cooper since I was very young, and once this is over I will likelu not see him again. This is temporary, and I intend on keeping things as professional as possible. My father will be well in three months, and then I will go home."

Though his voice was confident, Amy could see the uncertainty in his pale blue eyes, the way he desperately wanted to convince not just her, but himself as well.

So she gave a short nod and said, "Your choice, then." She turned to leave, and Dalton went back to reading.

She glanced over her shoulder, wanting to say something. She wasn't even sure what she wanted to tell him (an odd occurrence for her), but she felt the strangest familial, almost maternal desire to comfort the young prodigy.

He looked up. "Yes, doctor?"

She hesitated, and then said, "There's ice cream in the freezer. If you eat all your chili, I'll sneak you some."

His lips twitched into what could've been a half-smile. "Thank you, Doctor."

She nodded and walked out, closing the door behind her.

**A/N: Sorry this is so late! I had to type almost all of this up on an smartphone, and you know how hard that can be. Thanks for your patience!**


	7. Chapter 7 Lunch

Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory. I make no money off of this.

** Guest with the really good suggestion- you know, you're right! I think I will change the title. This was originally going to be about Raj and Ale, but I should change it, you're right. Thanks for the idea!**

**BBT**

Sheldon stared up at the ceiling, trying his absolute hardest not to move. To his right and slightly up, he could hear the sounds of even breathing, slow, and it was that very noise that made him uncomfortable. He didn't want to move, for fear of waking Amy up, and yet he couldn't fall asleep, despite the fact that both his feet already had.

"You're still awake, aren't you?"

He froze, startled by the whisper, and then admitted, "Yes."

Amy sighed and rolled over on her side, facing him. "Do I make you uncomfortable, Sheldon?"

"No."

She raised an eyebrow.

"…Perhaps a bit."

"I apologize. I foresaw that this might be an issue, but I had hoped your denial of the fact you indeed do have emotional and sexual desires would eliminate any problems. Obviously denial only goes so far."

"I am _not_ in denial of anything."

"Mm-hm." There was a pause, before she said, "If you want to sleep on the couch-"

"Absolutely not. I refuse."

"Sheldon-"

"Amy, this is not open for discussion," he said firmly.

She gave him a small smile and reached her hand out, touching the side of his face. Sheldon stiffened slightly, and then relaxed.

"You may have your flaws, but you're a good man, Sheldon Cooper."

"I have no flaws."

"One of them being arrogance," she said, rolling back over.

Silence followed. She was almost asleep when she heard him whisper, "Thank you."

**BBT**

**(Next Day)**

"-I want that paper on quarks in by Thursday, people, no exceptions. I want at least a page-long explanation on each flavor." Some of the students groaned. "Don't complain, or I'll make it two pages. Cite your sources, and if I see so much as a single sentence of plagiarized work, you will be out of my class so fast you'll get whiplash, do I make myself perfectly clear?"

"Yes, Ms. Cruce-Rios," they all mumbled, collecting their things.

Alejandra watched as her students filed out of the room, before she started to get ready for her next lecture. As she turned around, she heard a knock at the door.

She glanced over her shoulder. Raj was standing there, holding a fast-food bag and a notebook in one hand and a little cardboard cup holder with the other.

She blinked, surprised, and then nodded he could come in. He walked inside and smiled, holding up the notebook. It read, **Lunch?**

She nodded, and he handed her one of the bags and one of the sodas. She got a pencil off of her desk, and they sat down in two of the front lecture seats.

She took out the food- a burrito and a small cup of potato browns. She chuckled and wrote down, _You know this isn't real Mexican food, right?_

He grinned and wrote back, **I know. But Taco Ball didn't have a line.**

She smiled and took a bite out of the burrito. They ate in silence for a while, before she picked up the pencil. He looked down.

_How did you get here?_

He took the pencil. **Two busses and a walk.**

_Won't you be late back for work?_

**I bribed Sheldon.**

She laughed. _Okay. But don't do this every day._

**Ok.**

More silence, and then she wrote, _We need to talk._

He tensed. 'We need to talk' was the universal code for 'let's break up.' Still, he wrote back, **About what?**

She frowned, and then wrote back, _No, we need to __TALK._ She double underlined TALK, and then added, _With our mouths._

He swallowed. **Y?**

_Bcuz my hand hurts and this takes too much time._ She nodded towards the clock. It had already been ten minutes.

He bit his lip, and then wrote, **How?**

_I have an idea._ When she didn't elaborate, he looked at her, confused.

She took a deep breath, and then said in a shaky voice, "_Voy a hablar español." (I'm going to speak Spanish.)_

Raj blinked. It was the first time he'd ever heard her speak, and her voice was, in his opinion, _stunning_. Still, he knew what she was doing: maybe, if he wasn't worried about her opinion of what he said, he'd be able to speak. He swallowed, took a few deep breaths, and then managed to get out, _"N-__Namaskāra. Mai__ṁ__ Rājēśa hūm̐." (H-hello. I'm Rajesh.)_

_"Muy bien. Hasta ahora, todo bien." (Okay. So far, so good.)_

"_Tuma mujhē samajha saba para?__" (Can you understand me at all?)_

_ "Sólo deseo que sabía lo que estaba diciendo." (I just wish I knew what you were saying.)_

_ "__Batakha. Bulabulē. Śēl_

_ana jā__ṅ__ghiyā." (Ducks. Bubbles. Sheldon's underpants.)_

_ "¿Tal vez deberíamos volver a escribir?" (Maybe we should go back to writing?)_

"You're beautiful."

Both froze. Raj's head was spinning. What had he just done? He'd been thinking in Hindi, speaking in Hindi-

He turned away, his cheeks going bright red, and quickly gathered up his stuff. He had to leave, he had to get out of there _now,_ before his actions ruined everything-

He was at the door before he heard her say, "Raj!"

He stopped, turned. He held his breath.

She looked back at him with nervous eyes, unable to speak, and he understood suddenly what she wanted to ask him. Balancing the food on one arm he quickly wrote in the notebook, **7 tomorrow. pick u up? **

She nodded, relief flooding her features. He felt the same with his own. She didn't hate him. She wanted to keep seeing him.

His face split into a grin, and he waved. She smiled and waved back. Reluctantly, he walked out into the hall.

_What do you know?_ He thought to himself. _There really is such a place as cloud nine._

Then, _Crap, I'm already late!_

**BBT**

**(Previously/Meanwhile)**

_Knock knock knock. _"Amy." _Knock knock knock. _"Amy." _Knock knock knock. _"Amy."

The lab door swung open in front of him, revealing a lab-coated Amy Farrah Fowler. "Sheldon, what a surprise. Come in."

"Thank you." He walked inside.

"If you don't mind me asking, why are you here?" Amy said, cleaning out some glassware.

"Rajesh went to meet his girlfriend for lunch. Once he had left the premises, I made an innocent comment, causing Leonard and Howard to guilt me into visiting you."

"I didn't know it was possible to make Sheldon Cooper feel guilty," she commented, picking up a beaker.

"Of course it is. How do you think my mother gets me to go to church every Easter?"

Amy handed him a test tube. "Clean that, please. Remember, if you wouldn't drink out of it, it's not clean."

Obediently, he did as he was told. Amy raised an eyebrow. "Interesting. You didn't complain."

"Of course not. I learned my lesson last time."

She gave a little half-smirk. "Good." She washed out the beaker and set it beside the others.

"Amy, couldn't this wait?"

"Wait for what?"

"I was thinking we could go out for lunch."

"Really?" she said, surprised.

"Really. Now, there is a lovely little café across the road; I trust you're familiar with it?"

"Of course. I frequent it a few times a week. The health and sanitation standards are exemplary."

"Good. Let's be on our way then."

"These sandwiches really are delightful."

"Aren't they? The variety condiment choices offer a new experience every day, or in your case, provide the ability to not have one."

"Not to mention the desert selection," Sheldon said, with an appreciative nod towards the glass case in question. "They even have miniature slices of pecan pie. Most cafés are hardly that thorough."

"I agree, though I do prefer the standard carrot cake."

As the two geniuses continued to converse, the café door opened, jingling the bells. Amy gave a bare glance at the new customers, looked back at Sheldon, glanced back again, and groaned inwardly.

The first day they had met, Amy had told Sheldon that she did not object to the idea of a deity. This was for two main reasons: she did not like unanswered questions, and she had a hard time believing in coincidences. Today was a perfect example, because there was no way _coincidence _could have placed here, in this café, one mere day after she had revisited that long-ago incident, Ashley Winkman and her duo of cronies.

Sheldon, of course, had noticed her change in attitude, and asked, "Amy? Is something the matter?"

"Nothing," she answered calmly, as the trio went and bought their decaf no-fat no-sugar teas. "Do continue."

High school Amy wanted to run and hide. Neurobiologist Amy refused to do so. Therefore, she was forced to quietly continue to sit and hope to whatever deity it was that so hated her at the moment that the trio wouldn't recognize her. She took her fork and pulled part of the cake off.

"I don't believe it; is that you, Amy Farrah Fowler?"

So much for deities.

Amy looked over her shoulder, as if she were noticing them for the first time, fork still in the air. "Oh, hello."

"Oh my God, it really is you!" Ashley said, flashing a brilliant smile. She flicked her curly, perfectly styled whitish-blonde hair over her shoulder, giving Amy a dazzling smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "You haven't changed a bit!"

"Oh. Thank you." She glanced at Ashley's pink business skirt and added, "Neither have you."

"Well thank you. Now, who's this handsome fellow here?" She gave a somehow sweet-yet-seductive smile at Sheldon.

Amy's blood ran white-hot, but she managed to answer, "Ashley, this is Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Sheldon, I'd like you to meet Ashley Winkman. We attended junior high and high school together."

"Pleasure to meet you," Sheldon said, extending a hand for her to shake. Ashley did so, holding on perhaps a touch too long before she withdrew her French-manicured nails.

"And you too," she said, smiling at him. Her tongue darted out to lick her strawberry lips. Sheldon blinked, surprised. As Amy watched, his cheeks colored slightly- only slightly, so little it was hardly noticeable, but it was enough to prick her in the heart like a tack. In all the time she'd known Sheldon, she had never made him blush.

Ashley's green eyes darted over to Amy, and then down at the fork in her hand. "Amy dear," she said. "Are you sure you want to eat that?"

"I beg your pardon?" Amy said, her defense alarms ringing in her head.

"Well, you know what they say, dear," Ashley said, with a faux-sympathetic smile, "A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips."

Amy's mouth tightened. This was the only outward sign of the crashing pride inside her. Suddenly, her high school diploma, her PhD, her work with Neurobiology, all of it meant absolutely _nothing._ Zero. She felt about the size of a thimble at the bottom of the ocean, crushed underneath the pressure of gallons upon gallons of water. Instantaneously, she was just a nerdy, ugly, _fat_ girl whose well-formed arguments would do nothing to wound this seemingly perfect woman in front of her.

Ashley gave her a sunny, fake smile. "Well, you two have a good time. See you around, Amy." She and her two friends went over to their table.

As Sheldon went back to eating, Amy felt tears cloud her eyes. She stared mutely at the carrot cake in front of her. _Fat,_ it seemed to whisper hauntingly at her. _Fat and ugly. That's all you ever were, that's all you'll ever be._

Sheldon glanced up. "Amy? Aren't you going to finish your cake?"

"I'm not hungry," she said, as calmly as she could.

He frowned. "Not hungry? You practically inhaled your sandwich."

_Great, now even my boyfriend agrees with them. _"No. I'm, um, I'm just going to go use the lady's room."

"Alright."

She stood up to go to the restroom, knowing she had to get into a stall before she started to cry. Unfortunately, the combination of tear-obscured vision and an oddly welded table leg caused her to miscalculate her path, and the inevitable happened.

She hit the ground before she even knew she tripped, crashing down flat on her stomach and nearly smashing her nose on the flagstone floor.

"Good Lord, Amy, are you alright?" she heard Sheldon say from above her, but his voice seemed dim in contrast to the giggles from behind her.

She lost the battle, partly to pain, partly to humiliation, and the tears slipped out of her eyes onto her cheeks.

Sheldon kneeled down to help her up. "Don't move too quickly, we don't want to further injure anything that may be bro-" He stopped, seeing her face.

Amy couldn't bear to meet his eyes, but instead used one hand to try futilely to wipe away the tears. "I'm fine," she muttered, getting up. "I'm fine."

Sheldon's face twitched at the sight of his girlfriend trying to hide the fact that she was crying. Inside him, he felt anger build up in his belly at the girls who had mocked her and were now laughing at her fall. It. Wasn't. _Right._

"That wasn't very polite, you know," he said loudly, drawing the three's attentions.

They stopped their giggling and stared at him, surprised. He took advantage of their temporary shock to continue with his point.

"When someone falls, the correct thing to do is assist them, not laugh at them," he said coldly. "I'd expect even such ignoramuses as yourselves to know that."

"Sheldon, stop," Amy mumbled, embarrassed.

"I certainly will not stop! They owe you an apology, for both laughing at you and having the gall to insinuate that you might have an issue with your mass, which by the way is not true in the slightest! Now if the three of you ever want to show your face in this coffee shop or, for the matter, in Pasadena again, I would highly suggest you apologize to Dr. Fowler _this instant!"_

The three women looked around and realized there was no way out but to apologize. In fact, there was even a teenage boy taping the incident with his phone.

"We're sorry, Amy," one of them said, wincing.

"Yeah, Amy, we really are," the second agreed.

Amy somehow got the courage to look Ashley in the eye, despite the fact that she knew she was crying. Amy looked back, uncertain.

"W-why should I apologize?" she said with a laugh, trying to play it off as a joke. "I mean, we were just kidding around."

"Really? It didn't seem like 'kidding around' to me," Amy answered, her voice surprisingly even. "As a matter of fact, all of high school didn't seem like 'kidding around.' Or have you forgotten Gorilla-fingers Fowler?"

Ashley glanced back at her two friends, as if hoping they would back her up, but instead they backed away. She looked back at Amy, who was still looking at her with those piercing brown eyes, which were still red from tears. Sheldon had a hand on her shoulder, his pale blue eyes matching the same demanding fierceness of this girl she had once found timid and easy to walk over.

Before Ashley could stop herself, she said, "Alright! Alright, I'm sorry. There. Happy?"

"Immensely," Amy answered. Then, in a moment of kindness, she added, "And I like your skirt."

"…Thanks."

Someone in the shop started to clap, and soon the rest of the customers joined in. Amy allowed herself a small smile, before she said, "Sheldon, we're both going to be late for work if we don't get back."

"Right you are, Amy." He quickly threw away his meal and waited by the door to open it for her.

"Just a moment." She threw away the sandwich plastic and the empty coffee cup, but she carefully wrapped up the carrot cake, to save it later for a well-deserved treat.


	8. Chapter 8 Cousins, College and Cookies

Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory or the Arizona Cardinals, therefore I make nothing.

**A/N: For the record, this is all taking place in January, though its still hot in California at that time due to the climate.**

**BBT**

_Knock knock-knock knock knock. Knock knock._

"I swear, the only person wit a more annoying knock than Wackadoodle is my cousin," Penny mumbled, opening the door.

"Hey, Pen, good ta see ya!"

"You too, Jack!" Penny said, giving a hug to her cousin. "Hey, how's Christy, huh?"

"Eh, you know, same old, _same old."_ The buff redneck wiggled his eyebrows and then burst out laughing.

"Come on in, everyone," Penny said. In entered four cousins, her father, and her sister's family (including her, her husband, and their two kids), all toting sleeping bags and duffels. "Sorry there's not a lot of room."

"That's okay, it's just for the night," her sister, Lindsey, said, slugging Penny on her shoulder.

"So where are you all headed, huh?" Penny asked.

"Didn't you get my email?" her father said. "We're heading to Hollywood; your sister's husband won ten tickets to watch them make that new movie."  
"Man on the Run," Lindsey agreed.

"Sorry, dad; I mooch my Wi-Fi from my neighbors across the hall. One of them always changes the password, and he won't give me the new one. My phone's been off for like a month." Suddenly, she frowned. "Hey, ten tickets? Where's Cam? He'd love to watch that sort of thing."

The room fell deathly silent. Penny's eyes went wide.

"Oh my God," she said. "Is he dead? Who killed him? Oh my God, oh my God-"

"He's not dead!" Lindsey said quickly. "He's just…"

"What happened? Is he-"

"Cameron got busted," Jack said bluntly. "Someone tipped off the cops about the meth lab."

Penny sat down numbly. "W-what's his bail?" she asked. "How much-"

"The trial's already gone through, Penny," her father said, sitting down beside her. "And the court didn't rule in his favor this time. He's going to be in prison for a long time."

Penny bit her lip hard, trying not to cry.

"I should have known," her father continued, his voice full of grief. "Everyone else knew but me! I should have figured it out, I should have-"

"Uncle Wyatt, it wasn't your fault," Jack's brother Jim said. "We shoulda told you or something…"

For what appeared to be no particular reason, Penny looked up at the ceiling and said furiously, "I said be cool!"

"We tried to tell you, sis," Lindsey said sadly. "But you wouldn't pick up any calls, and the emails weren't answered at all…"

_Emails._ For whatever reason, that word seemed to stick in Penny's mind, and suddenly, she was on her feet, walking across the hall and banging on the door.

It opened, revealing Sheldon. "Penny, what are you-"

"You ass!" she yelled in his face.

"Penny, what on earth is going on?" Leonard demanded.

"You stay out of this, Leonard! Next time you change the Wi-Fi password, Sheldon, you should think about what the _hell_ I need to do with it!"

"Penny, get a hold of yourself!" Amy said sharply. Penny looked at her, surprised. "If you continue to verbally abuse my boyfriend, I will have no choice but to close this door in your face and not reopen it until you have regained control of your mental faculties."

Penny gritted her teeth, but managed to bring her anger down from a bonfire to a flame. "Fine," she said, breathing through her nose. "Fine."

"Good. Now: please explain civilly to Sheldon what your issue is."

By this time, Penny's family had crowded around. Penny glared furiously at Sheldon. "My brother got busted for drug dealing. I wasn't even at the trial because I couldn't get any of my emails, thanks to you and your stupid password!"

Sheldon blinked, and then pressed his lips together. "I see."

"I see? _I see?_ My brother's in jail and all you have to say is-"

"I'm sorry," he said, cutting her off. She stopped, shocked. Sheldon never apologized of his own free will.

"You are?" she said slowly.

He nodded. "Of course. By my own fault, you were unable to assist or at the least provide a degree of comfort for your brother. For that, I apologize."

She looked at him. Then, she said, "…Thanks. And, you know, I'm sorry for just bursting in here…" She trailed off, a little embarrassed, her anger dissipating.

"Apology accepted. Now I think your family's waiting for you." He nodded towards the people behind her.

Penny nodded. "Um, yeah… okay, well, I'll see you guys later." She closed the door behind her, looking rather awkward.

There was a moment of silence, before Leonard said, "You know, when she's not yelling at me, she's sort of hot when she's mad."

Amy glanced over at Sheldon, an idea in her eyes. Sheldon and Leonard said the same thing at the same time: "Don't even think about it."

**BBT**

_This is a nice place,_ Ale texted, taking a bite out of her wonton.

**Yes,** Raj agreed with a nod. **Do u lik the food?**

She nodded in response, and then wrote, _I think we shud try again._

Though his forkful of fried rice was already halfway to his mouth, Raj dropped the fork accidentally. Scrambling to pick it up off the ground, his mind raced, trying to come up with some way to waylay her idea. Sitting back up, he quickly wrote down, **Try wat again?**

She gave him a look that said clearly 'don't mess with me, Raj.' _U know wat._

**This wont work,** he argued.

_You dont know that._ Another quickly followed this text. _U told me erlier u cud tak 2 the def grl._

**Bcuz she cudnt hear me,** he replied. **Ucan.**

_U can tak wen ur drunk 2!_ she countered. _Raj, dont u see? U can tak when ur not afraid!_

**Wat about you?** He texted defensively.

_Im willing 2 try if u are._

He was just about send his reply when another text came in. _Plz, Raj. 4me?_

He hesitated, his thumb on the N key. Then, he closed his eyes with a grimace and then typed in **Yes.**

He heard her sigh from across the table. He opened his eyes.

She looked at him for a long moment, and then opened her mouth. She took a deep breath and said softly, "Hi."

He swallowed and opened his mouth to reply. His palms were sweating. His tongue felt dry as sandpaper. "…"

She watched him expectantly.

He steeled his nerve and… out came a squeak.

He closed his eyes again, this time in embarrassment. Any moment now, she would start laughing… Any moment now…

He opened one eye, somewhat confused. Alejandra still looked at him, empathy in her eyes. She wasn't laughing at him. She wasn't even smirking.

Slowly, he opened the other eye. Again, he got up his courage, and managed to say, "…H-hello." Quickly, he took a drink of his water.

Her face broke into a grin. "…How are you?"

He felt his own face heat up. Her accent was… incredibly sexy, he thought. How was he supposed to talk now?

"Good," he managed to get out, his voice jumping a few octaves, like he was fifteen again. His face went even redder, and he coughed. "Um, good," he said again, this time lower.

She giggled, biting her lip. "I… like your accent," she said, smiling.

"M-my accent?" he said, laughing a little, though the chuckle was edged with a touch of nervousness. "Yours is better." He realized suddenly that, amazingly, the more he talked to her, the easier it became.

The conversation, though halting at first, soon began to smooth itself out, until both were talking to each other with no stutters or awkward pauses. The date went on late into the night, until all of the other customers had left the restaurant and it was just the two of them left.

"…My mother used to teach salsa and tango lessons, to earn the family some extra money," Ale said. "She and my Papi worked very hard to send my three brothers and me to a private school, Our Lady of Eternal Hope, in San Francisco. Most of the nuns were kind, but the one that taught Spanish was an old crank. The other students called her _La_ _Bruja Veja_ behind her back. I was the only one that didn't have to take it, so I ended up taking an extra art class instead." Suddenly, she ducked her head, black hair swishing.

"Is something wrong?"

"No," she said, shaking her head. "Just… I've never talked this much to a guy before, except for my brothers and my Papi. I never _could. _It's just… so easy to talk to you."

Raj nods. "It's so strange, to talk to you and not be drunk…"

"Good strange or bad strange?"

"Good strange. So," he said shifting, "What does 'La Bruja Veja' mean?"

Alejandra snorted. "The old witch."

Raj laughed. "You know, that's what my sister Priya and me used to call one of the-" He stopped.

"Rajesh?"

He didn't want to say 'one of the servants.' He didn't want to tell her his family was rich. What if what happened with Emily happened here?

"…One of the women back home in New Delhi," he continued. "Sorry."

"No worries." Suddenly, Mr. Chen came up to their table.

"We're closing now," he informed them. "I can take those, if you're finished."

"Thanks," Ale said, handing him her plate. In return, he handed her a fortune cookie. He took Raj's plate, as well, and then handed him another cookie along with the bill.

"Have a good evening," he said, walking away. As he did, he shot Raj a wink.

As they walked out of the restaurant, Alejandra said, "Oh, let's open our cookies."

"Sure." They both cracked theirs open and read it. "What does yours say?" he asked.

"You tell me yours first."

"No, you."

She laughed. "Let's just exchange slips." She handed him hers, and he did the same.

There, written on both, was the exact same message:

_Look up! Your future may be just in front of you._

Raj blinked, and looked up. His eyes met hers, just as surprised.

Before he could stop and think about it, he leaned forward and kissed her on the lips.

She froze, and then melted into the contact. This was nothing like the kiss before; this was longer, sweeter. As he kissed her in the red light of a restaurant sign, he couldn't help but think that as good as their first date had been, the second was infinitely better.

**BBT**

**(Next Day)**

"Okay, that's the last bag," Leonard said, walking into Penny's apartment. "You can all g-" He noticed that the room was empty. "Huh. Must've passed me on the stairs."

The room was eerily quiet, except for the hum of Penny's laptop, which was open. He walked over to it to shut it, trying not to look at the screen. It didn't work, but that hardly mattered seeing as it was just a shopping site.

He was about to close it when he noticed something: another Internet window, almost completely hidden behind the first. Glancing around, he hesitated, and then clicked it.

Up popped an online application for night classes at the local community college.

"Leonard?"

He whirled around, slamming the laptop shut. Penny looked back at him, arms crossed.

"Penny, I was-"

"Save it, Hofstadter."

He winced. The anger in her voice was evident.

She walked towards him, glaring at him. "Why were you looking at my computer, Leonard?"

"I-it was open and-"

"Shut up."

"Okay."

"That page was behind another one. You clicked on it." It wasn't a question. "I can't believe you! Whatever happened to privacy?"

Though he knew it was a better move just to keep his mouth shut, he said, "Privacy? What ever happened to _trust?_ Penny, why didn't you _tell_ me you were applying for college? Why are you even? Didn't you already get your degree?"

Her guilty silence was enough to give him an answer.

"You didn't… did you?"

She sighed. "_No,_ I didn't. I dropped out with one semester left. I was broke and didn't have any money to pay the bills; I had to make ends meet! There, you happy now?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" he said, taking a step closer to her.

"Because- because you're all genius-y and stuff and I'm just a college dropout and I didn't want you to think bad of me, that's why!" she said, all in an angry rush. There were tears welling up in her eyes. Leonard hated seeing her cry.

"Penny-"

"Just- just leave, okay? Go!"

Instead of doing as told, he took one last step closer to her and hugged her.

They stayed like that for a moment, before he pulled away. "Penny, I wouldn't think bad of you just because you dropped out of college, okay?" he said. "I mean, you're a great person, and a great girlfriend- how could I think bad of you?"

She sniffled, trying to get ahold of herself. "I don't know, I don't…"

He didn't say anything for a few seconds, while she collected herself, and then asked, "So why did you sign up now?"

"My cousin Jack just got his degree in agriculture," she answered. "I know I'm not a genius or anything, but trust me, he's not the sharpest bulb in the box. If he can do it… I don't know, I just thought I should, too. I've only got four months, Leonard, and then I'll have my degree. And let me tell you, that looks insanely good on a résumé."

Leonard looked at her for a long moment, and then said, "Penny, I don't know much about acting, but I'll do whatever I can to help you pass."

Her eyes went wide. "Really?" she said. "You'll help me out?"

"Of course. What are boyfriends for, right?"

Her face broke into a grin. "Thank you!" she shrieked practically jumping on him as she hugged him. "Thank you thank you thank you!"

He chuckled a little. "No problem, Penny. But you're sort of crushing my trachea."

"Your what?"

"Windpipe."

"Oh. Sorry." She pulled away and whipped her eyes, giving him a grateful smile. "I don't know how I can ever repay you for this…"

"Yeah, well…"

She bit her lip. "And you're not, you know… disappointed?"

"Penny, I won't lie to you, whenever I thought about who, if anyone, I would date, I thought she would be another genius. But that isn't the most important thing in a person."

She laughed. "I bet Sheldon would disagree with that."

"Well, you're not dating Sheldon, you're dating me."

"Oh thank God for that." And with that, she kissed him square on the lips.


	9. Chapter 9 Love and Lullabies

Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory, therefore I make nothing off of this fanfiction. Information on helping with night terrors came from  www. nightterrors. ? topic=2757.0;prev_next=prev ,  www. fountia things-you-didnt-know-about-night-terrors , www. nightterrors mot. htm and  www. /diseasehealthinfo/healthlibrary/ 

** Paycheckgurl: Shoot. Must've missed that episode. Shoot shoot shoot. Okay. Can we all just pretend that he didn't know? Thanks. I'd rather not rewrite that chapter…**

**A/N: Was bumped off the new list rather quickly, so if you didn't get the chance to read the last chapter, make sure you do. Thanks to everyone; I'm loving the feedback!**

**BBT**

**(That night)**

BANG! BANG! BANG!

All three occupants of 4A, 2311 Los Robles were jolted awake, Sheldon particularly as he shot up on the couch, shouting, "Danger! Danger!"

"What's going on?" Leonard said, stumbling out of his room. Dalton appeared beside him in the hall, rubbing his eyes.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Sheldon got to his feet and walked dazedly to the door. As he opened it, the first thing he noticed were the faint screams. The second thing he noticed was the frantic Penny in the doorway.

"Oh thank God!" she said. "Sheldon, you have to help me!"

"What in the world is going on over there?" he demanded.

"It's Amy. She's- she's having a night terror; I've tired everything-"

Instantly, the physicist was across the hallway into the other room, Penny, Leonard and Dalton in tow.

Amy was sitting on the couch, although sitting wasn't really the proper word- more like jerking and thrashing about. Sheldon turned on the lights and rushed to her side on the bed. Amy continued to scream and writhe about, not even recognizing him.

"What's wrong with Dr. Fowler?" Dalton whispered to Penny, distressed.

"She had night terrors, sweetie."

"I thought that adults rarely get night terrors?"

Penny shrugged in response and looked back at Amy. Sheldon had sat down beside her, pulling her into a loose embrace. Amy struggled for a moment, and then began to sob into his shoulder.

"Shh, now…" he whispered in her ear. "Everything's going to be okay. Sheldon's here…" He continued repeating things to this extent, stroking her hair and murmuring to her as she shrieked things that didn't make sense.

"I'm s-sorry," she cried. "I n-n-never thought-"

"You're alright, Amy, you're fine."

"Th-they'll get me! They're right there! I can see them!" She pointed wildly at the empty kitchen, cowering behind Sheldon.

"Nobody is going to hurt you here. You're perfectly safe." He stroked her hair gently, rocking back and forth as she wept. Her sobs eventually began to quiet down, until they were only mumbles, and then nothing at all as she drifted back off into sleep.

Sheldon gently lowered her back onto the couch and pulled the blanket up to her chin. He stood and, giving a firm nod, turned back towards the door.

Dalton, Leonard and Penny stared at him, mouths open.

He walked forward quietly and ushered them into the hall, closing the door.

Penny stared at him, stunned. "How did you do that?"

"When I learned that Amy was prone to night terrors, I researched what to do in case she had an episode near me. Though ideas sometimes conflict on whether or not to touch the victim, knowing Amy I believed that it would be more calming for her to feel contact with another human. As you can see, I was correct."

"I thought you didn't like touching people?" Leonard pointed out.

Sheldon raised an eyebrow. "Amy was screaming bloody murder, Leonard; I would hardly be a good boyfriend if I couldn't set aside my own reservations for a few minutes to comfort her, now would I?"

All three of them blinked at him. In all the time they'd known him (Dalton for only a bit, Penny and Leonard for much longer), they'd never expected something like _that _to come out of his mouth.

Thankfully, Dalton cut the awkward moment short. "Dr. Cooper, will Dr. Fowler be-" he swallowed. "Will she be, you know, alright?"

"Of course; she's dealt with these for years, and she'll be fine in the morning."

"There are theories that adult night terrors are caused by past traumatic experiences," Dalton persisted. "If Dr. Fowler is suffering from one of these-"

"Dalton," Sheldon said seriously, kneeling down to look him in the eyes. "Amy is a highly respected neurobiologist; I'm sure she's capable of handling her own mental faculties." When the seven-year-old still looked unconvinced, he said, "I assure you, Dr. Fowler will be just fine. Now, I suggest you go back to your room and attempt to reach REM sleep."

Dalton nodded and, after casting another worried glance at the apartment door, walked across the hall.

When they heard the bedroom door close, Sheldon said, "Penny, I believe Amy would be better off staying with us, at least for the time being."

"I thought you told Dalton she was going to be okay?" the blonde said.

"The boy is seven, Penny; child prodigy or not, worrying him at this hour of the night could be catastrophic. Regardless, I would like to keep watch over Amy until her apartment is inhabitable again, which should be within a week or so. During both nights that she slept at our house, she did not experience any episodes; I would like to temporarily assist her by repeating the experience, if all parties concede."

"Um, yeah, I guess," Penny agreed, yawning slightly. "I mean, whatever's best for Ames."

"I don't see why not," Leonard said, shrugging. "I mean, it's only temporary."

"Thank you. Now, Penny, I will see you in the morning. Leonard, we should return to our apartment."

"Okay," Penny agreed, tired. "See you guys in the morning." She slipped back inside her apartment.

Leonard yawned and walked back into 4A. Sheldon was about to go back, as well, when he noticed Penny hadn't fully closed her door.

"So absent-minded," he said condescendingly, and was about to close it for her when he peeked inside.

Amy's soft, deep breaths filled the room, and he smiled just slightly, before closing the door.

**BBT**

It was just after midnight when he heard the humming.

Howard looked over, surprised. "Bernadette? That you?"

"Yeah," he heard her say softly. "Sorry, did I wake you up?"

"Naw, I was already awake… So what are you humming?"

"Mmm… It's a Swedish lullaby."

Howard rolled over to look at her. "Why are you singing it?"

"Well, they say it's good for a baby to hear music in the womb," she said, looking at him with a little smile.

"I thought you were Polish?"

"I am. But you know how dangerous it was for Catholics and Jews in Poland during the Holocaust, so my grandparents fled to Sweden."

"So that's what happened to the neighbors that disappeared in the middle of the night," Howard mused. "My grandpa always swore it was the _złe duchy_*."

"My grandma used to sing me this song when I was a little girl," Bernadette sighed. "I want my baby to grow up hearing it, you know."

Howard nodded and smiled at her. "So… what do you think it'll be?"

"Huh?"

"Do you think it's a boy or girl?"

"I don't know," Bernadette said, shrugging with a smile. "I sort of hope it's a girl- not that I'd love a baby boy any less, you know. You?"

"Same, I guess… but I'd really like a boy. You know, someone to read comics to and stuff?"

Bernadette giggled. "So… say he was a boy. What would you name him?"

"I don't know… maybe Howard the Second?"

"Don't be silly; he'd get laughed at. How about Jacob?"

"Naw…"

They both pondered it for a moment, before Bernadette said softly, "What about Michael?"

Howard considered it. "I like it. It's got a nice ring to it. So, what about a girl?"

"Well… my grandma's name was Ruth. Could we name her after her?" Bernadette asked.

"Yeah, sure. Michael or Ruth." He reached underneath the covers and felt her belly, grinning. "Hey, Bernadette?"

"Yeah?"

"You're beautiful."

She blushed and ducked her head. "It's the middle of the night, I look awful."

"Hey, you think I'd lie about that?" He brushed a stray lock of blonde hair out of her eyes. "Our kid is gonna be smart, nice and absolutely adorable, just like his mom."

"Thanks Howie," she said, and then sighed. "Speaking of mothers…"

"Something wrong, Bernie?"

She winced. "Howard, I'm pregnant. We really need our own house."

Howard grimaced. "I know, I know… I just don't know how to break it to my mom."

"Well you'll just have to tell her," Bernadette said firmly.

"You know she needs help."

"Then we'll get her a caretaker and us a house."

"Okay. I promise that I'll get work off the day after tomorrow, and we'll go house hunting."

"And you'll tell your mom?" she said hopefully.

"…Eventually."

She giggled. "Okay. I'll give you a little longer to figure out how to break the news. But Howie, you can't keep letting her control your life. It's _yours, _and it's time you lived it."

"Hey, it's not _my_ life," he protested.

She gave him a look. "Howie-"

"It's ours." And with that, he wrapped his arms around his pregnant wife and kissed her on the nose.

***Polish version of gremlins. Literally, 'evil spirits.'**

**Hope you liked the little night scenes!**


	10. Chapter 10 Little Black Dress

Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory. I make no money off of this.

** Define Bazinga: definitely three or five. I like five better. And do I see another Artemis Fowl fan, or simply a very smart person? Or both?**

**BBT**

**(Friday)**

"Thank you again for allowing me to temporarily take up residence with you," Amy said, as they drove down the roads of Pasadena. "I apologize for the inconvenience."

"It's no trouble," Sheldon replied from the shotgun seat. "Besides, it's more of an inconvenience to be awoken in the middle of the night."

"I'm terribly sorry for that; I oftentimes forget how troublesome it can be for roommates to have to put up with my night terrors."

"Do you remember them?" Leonard asked.

"Occasionally. Oh, that's my turn," she said, pointing down a road and deflecting the question. "By the way, you three won't need to pick me up after work today. Bernadette is picking me up to go shopping with the girls."

"Will Penny drive you back?" Sheldon inquired.

"Naturally."

"Alright, then it's settled. Will you need anything?"

"No, I'm quite set, but thank you."

"You're welcome."

Leonard pulled to a stop in front of the lab, and Amy stepped out of the car. "Dalton, Leonard, have a good day."

"Aren't you forgetting someone?" Sheldon pointed out.

"Of course not." She opened his door and gave him a quick peck on the cheek, before closing it again and heading off towards the laboratory doors.

"Well that's odd," Sheldon said, as they started to drive again.

"What's odd?" Leonard asked, turning on the blinker.

"She's never kissed me goodbye before." Dalton snorted in the back, and Sheldon looked over his shoulder, surprised. "What?"

"No offense, Dr. Cooper, but I believe she may have gotten tired of waiting for _you_ to kiss _her _goodbye."

"What? That's absurd."

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that," Leonard muttered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, nothing…"

**BBT**

"Ooh, Amy, try this on," Penny said, pulling her towards a dress.

Amy looked at the short purple dress in front of her. "I don't know…"

"Oh, go on," Alejandra encouraged. "You'll look fabulous, Amy."

"No, I think I'll just watch you three try some things on," Amy said, sitting down on a nearby bench.

"Well, whatever floats your boat," Penny said with a shrug. She hurried over to a pink dress on the other side, found her size, and slipped into a dressing room.

Amy watched as Alejandra gravitated towards the scarlet and red dresses, and Bernadette towards the pastels. She looked down at her scuffed Mary Jane flats, playing with the nubs on her long, brown plaid skirt.

"Wow, Penny, you look great!" Bernadette gushed. Amy looked up.

"You think?" Penny said, twirling in the fashionable, hot-pink dress. "I don't know…"

"Leonard will _love_ it," Alejandra assured her.

"Well, go try on yours!" Penny said, pushing the dark-haired girl and her red dress towards a dressing room. She turned to Amy. "So, what do you think?"

"You look gorgeous," Amy said truthfully, her face its usual deadpan despite the jealousy raging underneath.

"Aw, well thanks sweetie," Penny gushed. She looked down at the material longingly. "But I've got school to pay for; I'll have to put it back…"

"When do your classes start?" Bernadette asked.

"In two weeks. If I can pass, I'll graduate at the end of the summer, in September. Thank God for summer night classes."

"Congratulations," Amy said.

"Thanks. I should probably change back." The dressing room door behind her opened, revealing Alejandra in a calf-length, bright red dress with a gold brooch at the bottom of the modest V-neck. "Oh wow!" Penny said admiringly. "You should totally get that."

"I agree," Bernadette said. "You look so pretty, Ale."

Alejandra laughed and shook her head. "I'm looking for a dress for the faculty dinner-dance at the university in a few weeks. You need a date to go with this dress, and I never have a date."

"Well, you could go with Raj," Penny pointed out. "You guys are going out now, right?"

"It's only been two dates… But if we get through another, I suppose I could ask him. It's better than being the only girl under forty in a room full of old professors."

"How do you communicate with your colleagues at work?" Amy questioned. "If you're unable to talk to men, I mean."

"Oh, I can talk to men, just not hot men. All of the other professors are at least over fifty." She checked the price tag and nodded. "Not bad for such a lovely dress, either. Should I get it?"

"Shyah!" Penny said, at the same time that Amy replied, "Obviously," and Bernadette answered, "Of course you should!"

Alejandra blushed and nodded, stepping back inside the dressing room. As she did so, Amy glanced over at a black dress hanging on the door.

"I don't like any of these dresses," Bernadette said with a sigh. "Not my style, I guess." She caught Amy's eye and saw the black dress. "Why don't you try that on?"

"Oh, no, I'm fine-"

"Go on, Ames," Penny urged.

Amy shook her head resolutely. "I wouldn't fit it."

"What are you talking about? Put it on." Penny's tone told her there was no room for discussion.

She stood up with a grimace and inched towards the dress. The material was silky and flowing. A belt cinched in the waist, while a deep V-neck that was covered underneath by a stretch of partially sheer black lace made it both modest yet attractive. She really did like it… But she doubted it would look good on her at all.

She took it off the door and slipped inside the dressing room to the encouragement of the other three. She looked dubiously at the dress in her hands.

Turning away from the mirror, she quickly undressed and slipped it on. To her surprise, it fit over her hips, so she slipped the sleeves over her shoulders.

Grimacing, she turned slowly towards the mirror, expecting the worst.

She wasn't disappointed. The dress looked awful on her, and she knew it. It was obviously made with a more hourglass-like figure in mind- a figure like Penny's, really, all willowy, instead of her solid tree-trunk build.

Maybe if she blurred her eyes a bit, she could fool herself into thinking she looked pretty. She took off her glasses and looked in the mirror, her hazy vision making the image in the mirror seem fuzzy. Not fuzzy enough, though; she could still see the basic outline. If only she were blind, deaf and stupid…

"Amy? You done yet?" The door behind her opened, and she let out a little shriek.

A blurry Penny stood in front of her, surprised. "Oh, sorry!" she said. "I forgot, this door's always broken- Wow, Amy, you look fantastic!"

From the two indistinct figures behind the waitress, she heard, "She's right!" and, "_¡Qué linda!"_

"That's really pretty; you should so get it!" Penny said excitedly.

"It's alright, you don't have to be nice," Amy said, embarrassed. She made to step back inside the dressing room.

"We're not being nice, Amy. You really do look pretty," Bernadette agreed. Alejandra nodded energetically.

"Besides, I bet Sheldon will love it," Penny said with an impish grin.

"I don't know about that," Amy said with an eye roll.

"So what's the deal with him, anyway?" her blonde besty asked, as Amy put her glasses back on. "I mean, don't take this the wrong way, but-"

"I understand entirely, Penny," she said, inspecting herself critically in the mirror, analyzing and comparing all her collected data. "Whereas Sheldon does have emotional and sexual desires, he prefers to suppress them to the point of apparent non-existence. However, they do occasionally slip out in the presence of particularly sexy women or when he's in a state of emotional crisis." She let her eyes travel down the her curves… or what one could technically describe as curves. Still, she had to admit, she looked better in this than in her every-day clothes (not that that was saying much).

"I intend to discover why he represses such base emotions," she continued, "When he trusts me enough to discuss it. Admittedly that may be a while, but I haven't got a problem waiting."

"You really do care about him, don't you?" Bernadette said admiringly.

"Of course." She pulled the neck of the dress upward slightly, and then said, "I believe I'll change back. Penny, could you make sure nobody bursts in again?"

"Sure thing, sweetie. You gonna buy the dress?"

"No, I don't think so."

Penny shrugged but looked disappointed. "Okay. I'll hold the door."

Amy changed back quickly into her normal clothes, feeling much less self-conscious once again in her layers of wool and cotton. She put the lovely dress back on the hanger wistfully and walked out of the dressing room.

Alejandra paid for the red dress, and the four of them walked out of the dress store. Suddenly, Amy quickly turned back, dashed into the store, pulled the dress of the hanger, and ran back to the register.

She walked out with the bag, a slightly guilty look on her face. She caught sight of her friends' surprised looks and said defensively, "What?"

Penny's face broke into a grin. "That's the Amy I know! Oh, I'm so happy you got it! You're going to look great!"

Slowly, slowly, the brunette started to smile ever so slightly. "Penny, what is the best hair place in this mall? And is there any store that sells prescription contacts?"

Penny grinned. "You have a plan?"

"Bernadette, call Howard," Amy instructed. "Tell him to inform the males that Friday Game Night is being postponed."

"How will Sheldon deal with that?" Alejandra asked.

"He skipped our traditional date night yesterday in favor of handling an issue at work, did he not? This is simply a rebalancing of scales." She smirked ever so slightly to herself. "Or tipping them in my favor."

"Hair salon, here we come!" Penny crowed, taking Amy by the arm and pulling her through the mall.

**A/N: Sorry it's so short; the next chapter will be longer, and I decided to split them up.**


	11. Chapter 11 Date Night

Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory, Shrek or the Swedish Cradle Song. I make no money off of this. I got information on the Cavendish Experiment from perhaps the world's most reliable site,  en. wikipedia wiki/Cavendish _experiment and my apple dictionary, and on 'cooties' from  www. psychologytoday blog/the-scientific-fundamentalist/200804/why-boys-have-cooties-brothers-don-t . The lyrics to the Cradle Song I've known since I was little.

**BBT**

**(Friday Night)**

The four men sat silently around the table in apartment 4A, each preoccupied with their own thoughts.

Howard was running over the multitude of things he would like to be doing tonight besides looking over Dalton Cooper, though he was happy that at least he could spend it with his lovely bride.

Leonard was thinking about Penny, and wondering how many more nights like this they would have for a while, now that she was about to go back to college.

Raj was wishing he were drunk, since despite the fact he could now talk to Alejandra, he was still rather nervous he would say something incredibly stupid.

Sheldon was pondering exactly what would happen if you ran a Hyperon, a Nucleon, a Meson and a Hadron into each other at 90˚ angles at the exact same speed- and, should that speed be _c_ (the speed of light), would mass pose any issues?

_Knock-knock._

"That'll be the girls," Leonard said, jumping to his feet. He walked over to the door and opened it.

Penny was the first to come in, giving Leonard a quick kiss on the cheek and twirling slightly in her blue dress (she and the other three had all changed at Alejandra's apartment). "It's nothing new, but I've got college to pay for now, so… I hope you like it."

"I love it," he said, kissing her back. The two of them moved the side as Alejandra entered in, dressed in a dark ruby skirt and top. She was followed by Bernadette (who was dressed in her normal clothes) and finally…

Every man in the room felt his mouth drop open as Amy Farrah Fowler walked in. Head ducked slightly in embarrassment, her eyes fixed on the ground, she seemed entirely unaware of how stunning she appeared. Her curled hair and glasses-less eyes complimented the black dress (which fit her beautifully) and the sparkling tiara on top of her head.

She crossed her arms over her chest, as if she were cold and not just self-conscious, and took a cautious glance toward her boyfriend. Sheldon stared back blankly, his eyes open wide and his mouth forming a perfect little o.

There was a moment of silence, before Amy said in as normal a tone as she could manage, "Well I guess we should get going then. Howard, Bernadette, you have our thanks."

"Yeah, uh, no problem," Howard agreed, unconsciously rubbing the ring on his left hand.

The two of them watched as the other three couples filed out of the apartment. As the door shut, Howard let out a low whistle. "Sheldon's in for a treat tonight."

Bernadette giggled. "Who knew there was such a pretty girl beneath all that plaid and polyester?"

"She should dress like that every day," Howard agreed. When Bernadette gave him a look, he said defensively, "What? I mean to see that look on Sheldon's face!"

She smiled. "You're such a bad liar, Howie. Speaking of Sheldon, let's see how little Cooper's doing?"

"Mm. A whole night spent babysitting a child genius. Whoopee!" Howard muttered sarcastically.

"I heard that," Dalton called from the other room, though he didn't sound overly annoyed.

Bernadette smiled and patted her belly. "Come on, Howie. Let's go get some parenting practice."

**BBT**

"I still feel bad about you paying for the dinner."

"Don't be silly," Leonard said. "Besides, it's just the Cheesecake Factory."

"Yeah, but you're already helping me pay tuition and-"

"And you're going to be working every day and taking classes at night," he pointed out. "This could be the last real date we have for a while." When she still looked unconvinced, he said, "Aw, c'mon; just enjoy it, okay?"

She smirked. "Okay." She took a bite out of her half sandwich and laughed a little.

"What?"

"Just remembering the time Sheldon quizzed me on how we made half-sandwiches."

Leonard groaned. "Did he do the 'is someone else eating half of my sandwich' thing?"

"Yep. The whole nine yards." She laughed again. "We're like two parents that can't think of anything to talk about on a date beside our kid."

"And now that kid has his own kid," Leonard said with a shrug. "For the time being, anyway."

"So, like, how're things at work and stuff?" Penny asked, finishing the rest of her sandwich.

"Eh, pretty good. Nothing major lately- Oh, but I'm giving a lecture to some students tomorrow on the Cavendish Experiment."

She looked at him blankly. "What?"

"Henry Cavendish. He was an English physicist who identified hydrogen and studied carbon dioxide, and then figured out their densities in relation to the atmosphere. But that's beside the point; in a nutshell, the experiment was the first of its kind to give accurate values for the gravitational constants. It was also the first to measure the forces of gravity between two objects in a lab."

"In English, sweetie."

"Okay, so basically what happened was he built this structure where a wooden rod was hanging on a wire, and two lead spheres were hanging on either end," he described, moving his hands as he talked. "Two bigger balls were put nearby and held in place. Since all objects in the universe gravitate towards each other, the bigger spheres tried to get close to the smaller spheres, and vice versa. This made the wooden arm twist. Since the smaller balls could be weighed to show Earth's force on them, he could calculate the density of the earth using the ratio of the two forces."

Penny continued to stare at him, and then smiled. "All this time later and I still get confused by that beautiful brain of yours."

Leonard laughed. "Thanks. I guess science just isn't your thing, huh?"

She shrugged and grinned. "Well, I don't know about physics, but I bet chemistry is more up my ally."

He felt himself blush (which was ridiculous, considering everything they'd gone through together), but he smiled sheepishly. "I was never good at chemistry."

"Mm. I guess Professor Penny will just have to help with that," she said, and then kissed him.

**BBT**

"So do you have any favorite foods, Dalton?" Bernadette called over from the kitchen.

"Mac n' cheese, if you have it."

"Mac n' cheese, mac 'n cheese… oh, here it is." Howard and Dalton heard her take out the box, and then the sound of running water as she filled up a pot.

"So, Dalton, are you looking forward to school starting?" Howard said, trying to make conversation.

Dalton shook his head. "If school here is anything like school in Galveston, then my answer is a hearty no."

"Bad times in school?" Bernadette said sympathetically, waiting for the water to boil.

"Not so much in the school as on the playground, but yes," Dalton said, his voice sounding altogether too dark for that of a seven-year-old.

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry," Bernadette said, pouring the pasta in.

He shrugged. "From what I can see, it's the way of the world: smart people get thrown into dumpsters from ages five to eighteen, exist in anonymity from ages nineteen to thirty, and hopefully become famous and rich by age thirty-one."

"He's got a point," Howard muttered.

"You don't know that's what it will be like here," Bernadette said encouragingly. "I mean, maybe the children in Pasadena are nicer than the ones in Galveston."

"Unless I'm going to a private school where nuns whoop the bullies more than the bullies whoop the nerds, I highly doubt it. Still, you could be right; for all I know, the children here are little angels."

"And hey, you never know; maybe you'll meet some sort of genius little girl," Howard said, grinning.

"I doubt it. According to Dr. Westermarck, young females at my age often consider boys, aside from familial relations, such as cousins or brothers, to have 'cooties.' This is a mechanism implanted in the human psyche to prevent incest, as it appears that children who spend a lot of time together at very young ages do not find each other sexually attractive in later years. As my Grandma would say, it's one of Jesus's many gifts." Then, he stopped and collected himself. "I'm sorry, Mr. Wolowitz; I forgot- well-"

"Eh, don't worry about it, kid," Howard said, shrugging.

"You're Christian, Dalton?" Bernadette asked, stirring the macaroni.

"Yes ma'am."

"Well, I don't know where any of the protestant churches are, but you're welcome to come with Howie and me to mass on Sunday."

"She drags me to it every week," Howard muttered.

"Well, I offered to go to synagogue with you," Bernadette (who had of course heard) said in a sing-song voice, "But you never want to go anyway."

"The guy speaks in Hebrew the entire time! Do you know how many times I fell asleep as a kid? My mother used to whack me awake in the middle of the service!"

"Thank God for Vatican II," Bernadette sighed. "Anyway, Dalton, would you like to come?"

"If it's alright with Dr. Cooper, yes, I would."

"Alright then, that's settled. So," she said, adding in the cheese, "I hear you play the piano?"

"Sort of. I've never had any lessons; I play everything by ear."

"Really? What a lovely gift." She turned away from the macaroni for a moment to begin cutting up some apples. "You know, Howie plays the piano."

"Yeah, I could show you some technique if you want," Howard offered.

"Really?" Dalton said eagerly. "That would be great. Thanks, Mr. Wolowitz!"

"No problem."

The conversation continued on through the night, Dalton slowly loosening up as it went along. After dinner, he chose out a movie from Sheldon's stack of DVD's, eventually picking out Shrek. "I love the soundtrack," he explained, "And the plot is rather engaging, regardless of age."

It was nearly ten when the movie ended, and the very sleepy seven-year-old yawned (for him, of course, it was very late). Bernadette smiled and led him to Sheldon's room, helping him into bed. She and Howard sat down beside him.

"Will you sing?" Dalton mumbled sleepily.

"Of course. What would you like me to sing?"

"Not Soft Kitty."

Howard made a coughing noise that could have been covering up a laugh. Bernadette nodded and started to sing. _"Shining sun has gone to rest; so must you my baby. Little birds are in their nest; come to yours my baby…"_ As she sang, Dalton slowly started to drift off. _"…Romping winds may play at night. Twinkling stars may sparkle bright. You must sleep my baby. You must sleep my baby."_

Dalton yawned, and his eyes fluttered closed. Bernadette smiled and pulled the blanket up to his chin, kissing him on the forehead. "Goodnight, Dalton," she whispered, before she and her husband quietly stood up and left the room.

**BBT**

"It was very thoughtful of you to bring me here," Amy said, "Though I feel a little overdressed."

"How so?"

"Well, we _are_ outside."

"Nonsense; you're dressed perfectly. Unless you're cold, of course."

"No, I'm fine."

It was by far, she thought, the most romantic thing Sheldon had ever done for her. The red-and-white checkered picnic blanket was spread out of the new spring grass, and the air, while crisp and cool, wasn't chilly yet. The stars twinkled brightly overhead, and the smells of good food drifted out of the picnic basket.

"May I ask you something?" Amy asked, looking up into the sky.

"I suppose you just did, though yes, you may."

"Why and how did you plan all of this? You had a very short time limit, which I regret to say is entirely my fault, and you seemed less than excited when I informed you we would be having an improvised date night via phone."

He shrugged. "That's hardly a difficult question. I did it because, despite you having disrupted Friday Game Night, you are my girlfriend, and if truth be told I haven't really been living up to my end of the bargain. As for how I did it, I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper. I can do anything."

Amy chuckled. "Not quite, but close. And thank you."

"Would you like something to eat?" he said, sitting up.

She nodded and did the same. "What's for dinner?"

"Italian. I hope you don't mind. I can't really cook anything else."

She smiled. "I figured." She waited for the Tupperware containers of spaghetti and hot dog chunks to appear.

They didn't. Instead, Sheldon pulled out two to-go boxes from the nearest Italian restaurant, a small basket of bread sticks, and two Italian sodas."

"Ohh…" she let out a little gasp, a small smile alighting on her face. "You didn't cook this."

"Of course not. I hope that subtle trick didn't upset you with me?"

"Don't be ridiculous. No wine?" she said teasingly.

He snorted. "We're sitting outside on a lovely spring evening. I highly doubt either of us getting intoxicated would be quite the way to enjoy it."

"Very true." She took the box marked with the letter A. Inside was her favorite Italian food, a large serving of angel-hair pasta. "It smells delicious."

"I hope you enjoy it." He opened his own box and speared a piece of his custom-made spaghetti and hot dogs.

The food was excellent, and when they were done, Amy lay back down on the ground, looking up into the stars. "They really are beautiful," she commented. "Flaming uncontrolled balls of plasma, but beautiful."

"No doubt about that."

"I wonder what that one's called," she said, pointing towards one that glowed with a blue tinge. "It's such a lovely color."

Sheldon shrugged. "That's Koothrappali's area of expertise, I'm afraid. Though I agree that the hue is quite aesthetically pleasing."

"It's not the only thing," she murmured.

Sheldon glanced at her. "I'll take that as a compliment."

"As you should."

There was a long pause, before she sighed softly to herself. "This is nice, Sheldon. Thank you."

He caught her tone of voice. "You seem melancholy; is something the matter?"

"No; I'm fine."

He sat up and looked at her, frowning. "No, you aren't."

"Sheldon, I said I'm fine and I am," she protested, though it was a weak defense and she knew it.

He disregarded this. "Now, what could have upset you? I don't believe it's anything I've done, and I doubt it's anything your friends may have said…" He suddenly blinked. "Amy, could it perchance be to do with your night terror last night? Or perhaps what happened at that café a few days ago?"

She shifted uncomfortably. "Maybe."

"Well, which one? If it was the incident with that high school rival, then I had hoped you'd come to terms with her after confronting her."

"Not really her, per say… more to do with the night terror."

"So the two are possibly related, and Dalton was correct when he said that a past trauma could be causing them." It wasn't a question.

She didn't reply.

"Amy-"

"Sheldon, could we please talk about something else?"

There was a pause, and then he said, "Yes, I suppose so." He lay down next to her again, looking up into the dazzling sky.

There was another pause, before she said quietly, "Sheldon, will you be honest with me?"

"Of course."

"Do you think I look awful in this dress?"

He blinked. "Where is this coming from?"

"Just answer the question."

He thought for a moment, and then said, "Amy, while I know that social convention dictates a boyfriend compliment his girlfriend on her looks, and will therefore nullify my following statement as simply giving what's due…" He looked her straight in the eyes. "I think you look extraordinary."

She felt her breath catch in her throat. "Really?"

"Really."

She looked back up at the stars, a small, happy sigh escaping through her nose. She curled in against Sheldon to fight the chilling air, and then half-closed her eyes. The stars became white glowing blurs, like Van Gogh's _Starry Night._

It was against this shining sky that she saw Sheldon's arm pass over her, and then wrap around her, pulling her close as they gazed into the stars.

**BBT**

"You're a good cook," Raj commented, finishing the rice. She really was; when she'd called earlier to inform him that Amy and Penny were both going on dates (and as such Game Night was cancelled), he'd offered to take her out, as well. She'd then asked if he wouldn't mind having a more casual date, and they had eventually agreed on a nice meal at her apartment. Her cooking had turned out to be near-perfect.

"My mamá always used to say that the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach." She finished the last of her taquito. "When I was in college, I was one of the only students in my year who could cook."

"Really? Me too. All the other guys thought I was crazy."

She laughed. "Sometimes when I was feeling homesick, I'd make myself some comfort food- fried rice, carnitas, that sort of thing. My friend Lila said I made the best empanadas she'd ever tasted, and since I cooked almost everything myself, I didn't gain a lot of weight. So-" She cleared her plate to the sink, "-You like to cook?"

Raj nodded, a little embarrassed. "I know it's strange for a guy…"

"I like it. You don't meet a lot of men that can cook." She smiled at him. "I think it's… very attractive."

"You'd be the first."

She gave him a confused look. "Why?"

He bit his tongue, looking the other way. She let out a little "Ahh…"

"I'm not gay!" he said defensively. "I promise, I'm not-"

"I know."

He stopped short, surprised. "…You do?"

"Of course. If you were, you would have selective mutism towards men, not women." She reached for his plate, and he handed it to her. "Your being able to cook doesn't make you gay any more than my being able to hit makes me lesbian," she said firmly, putting the plates in the sink.

"You can punch?"

She shrugged and sat down on the couch. "I take Tae Bo classes on Mondays."

He laughed, getting up to sit down beside her. "That's really cool."

"Thank you." She looked at him sympathetically. "It must've been hard, for people to think you were gay."

"My friends always thought I was," he confessed, "Since I-" He coughed, "-I like chick flicks and- well, anyway." He quickly shut up, hoping she wouldn't laugh.

She didn't. Instead, she smiled and said, "Well, I promise not to complain when you want to watch_ Pride and Prejudice._ That sound good, hm?"

He nodded, smiling back. "Terrific."

"Now, speaking of good," she said, standing up, "I have some desert."

"Really?" he said, interested. "What?"

"Close your eyes," she said. He did as told, waiting eagerly. A few moments later, he heard her say, "Now, open your mouth and take a bite."

He did so, feeling something hot, crisp and sweet on his tongue. He swallowed and opened his eyes, surprised. "What is it?"

She held up a square piece of fried dough, covered in powdered sugar and cinnamon, drizzled in honey. "It's a sopapilla," she said. "My mamá's recipe."

"It's delicious."

"Thanks." She handed him the rest of his, and began to eat her own.

He raised the fried dough to his lips to take another bite, but stopped, distracted. The combined scent of cinnamon and honey that surrounded her intoxicated him.

He coughed slightly, trying to clear his head. "Um- Alejandra?"

"Mm-hm?"

"Would- would you say that this is our third date?"

She considered it, and then nodded. "If you're not counting when you brought me lunch."

"O-oh," he managed to get out. "Um, thanks."

She gave him a confused smile. "No problem."

He ate the rest of his sopapilla, hardly even tasting it. He couldn't keep his eyes off her. Her lignite hair curled down her back, shining in the lamplight. Her deep, dark eyes crinkled when she smiled. Her tongue darted out to lick the drop of honey off her lips. That was when he leaned forward to kiss her.

She barely had the time to gasp before his lips brushed against hers softly, feather-light, the kiss of an angel. Raj heard the gasp and deepened the kiss slightly. Her lips tasted like honey.

She began to kiss him back gently, smiling into his mouth. Her half-closed eyes turned the lamplight into vision of glistening gold.

Then, she felt something she didn't want to feel: two hands, sliding up her waist, stomach, chest-

She let out a little half-shriek and jerked away, falling off the couch in the process.

Raj jumped up in shock as Alejandra scrambled to her feet. "Wh-Wha-"

"Are you _crazy?!" _she demanded, and that was when Raj knew he was in trouble. "What the hell was that?!"

"Third date means sex?" he tried.

Her mouth dropped open in shock. "_Excuse me?_!"

"I-"

"Do I seem like that kind of a girl to you?!"

"Y-you invited me over!"

"Yes! _To eat! _What, does every dinner date mean sex to you?" It was a moment before he realized this wasn't a rhetorical question. "_Well?"_

"W-we don't have to have sex," he said, backpedaling as fast as he could. "I mean, third base would be fine!"

Wrong move.

_SLAP!_

He feel and sound of skin on skin, along with something harder, like metal, temporarily deafened him before the enraged rant broke through.

"-¡No te puedo creer!" she was yelling. "¿Es eso todo lo que querías? _¿Sexo?_ Ugh, ¡pensé que eras diferente!"*

Raj simply stared at her, stunned and unable to understand a word she was saying. Alejandra turned away. Silence filled the room.

"Vaya," she said, in a low voice. Raj didn't need to speak Spanish to know what it meant.

"Alejandra-"

"¡Vaya! Go!" She took a step towards him. _"Go!"_

Raj quickly backed away, opening the apartment door. The last image he got was that of Alejandra's eyes, swimming with tears, full of both anger and disappointment.

Then, she shut the door, leaving Raj to stare at the wood and say the useless, "…I'm sorry," the words heavy as the taste of honey on his tongue.

_*I can't believe you! Is that all you wanted? Sex? Ugh, I thought you were different!_


	12. Chapter 12 Apologies

Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory or Dr. Who. I make no money off of this. I thank wikipedia for help on the Dr. Who universe, which I still don't understand and don't feel like taking the time to watch every episode to.

**A/N: I would like to formally apologize to Goodbye GoatHill, the author of As Raj Likes It. I was reading it today and I noticed the similarities between Alejandra and Rosalind- case in point, they are both college professors. While I had read part of As Raj Likes It before I started this story, I did not consciously draw off of Rosalind to create my OC. Nevertheless, I do apologize, and I hope there're no hard feelings.**

**BBT**

"I don't know what that dress was supposed to do, Besty, but it worked."

Penny grinned at her tired but happy best friend. Amy's hair was once again in its usual straight (and now morning-messy) state, though that was to be expected when one was having a conversation in the hall at six in the morning on a Saturday. "Is Sheldon up yet?"

"No, but he will be in-" Amy checked her watch, "-Five minutes."

"So how did things go with you and Wackadoodle, huh?" Penny said, lowering her voice.

"Flawlessly. He got Italian food, he held me of his own free will- through no initiation of my own, I might add- and Penny… he called me extraordinary." She fanned her face, which was red. "And now in exactly-" She checked her watch again, "-four minutes, I will have to face him when he awakens to watch Dr. Who at six-fifteen."

"Hold on, I'm still working on 'extraordinary,'" Penny said.

"Extraordinary: very unusual or remarkable," Amy said promptly.

"I know what it means!" She glanced over at the door and said in a much quieter voice, "But he really said that to you?"

"Well, to be fair, he did say that I _looked_ extraordinary." She frowned, worried. "Could that have a hidden meaning?"

"Unless that hidden meaning is 'Wackadoodle's finally gone off the deep end,' no."

"What do you suggest my strategy be?"

Penny snorted. "Ames, strategy is for chess, not guys! Especially guys like Sheldon."

"Well I certainly can't go in there with no plan at all."

"Why not?" When Amy still looked unconvinced, she huffed. "Amy, it's like six in the morning and I wanna go back to sleep!"

"I know; I shouldn't have woken you up…"

"Don't worry about it; just go in there and watch some T.V. with our little bundle of crazy, okay?"

"You analogy makes him sound like an infant, but I do see your point. Thank you, Penny." Still, she didn't move.

"Oh for Heaven's sake, go!" she gave the brunette a little push towards the door.

Amy heard Penny's door shut behind her. She touched the cold metal of the doorknob hesitantly. She had no plan. No strategy. Oh, this was going to be a complete disast-

The cold metal was suddenly replaced by the feeling of blank air, as the door opened in front of her.

"Amy?" Sheldon said, surprised.

She blinked. "Er- hello."

He rubbed his eyes with a balled fist, yawning. "Amy, it's not even six-fifteen yet. What are you doing up so early?"

Naturally, she replied with the first thing that came to mind: "What are _you_ doing up so early?"

He blinked. "I awoke early and noticed you were gone. Also, I have Dr. Who to watch."

_Of course you do._ "I, um, I was talking to Penny."

"At-" He checked his watch, "Six-fourteen in the morning?"

"…Yes."

"And she didn't punch you for bothering her this early in the morning."

"No."

Sheldon stared at her for a long moment, and then shrugged. "Well okay then." He walked back inside the apartment, Amy following behind.

"You know, it's not a good idea to wear a watch while sleeping," Amy pointed out as she sat down on the couch. "It decreases circulation to your hand."

Sheldon shrugged. "I have yet to experience a problem from it, and when I do I'll stop. Would you like some cereal?"

"Yes, please."

Sheldon measured out the milk and cereal into two little blue bowls. He handed one two her along with a spoon and sat beside her, saying, "I like the pattern on your bathrobe."

"Oh." She looked down at the plaid pattern of pastel pinks, blues and yellows. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He turned on the TV.

There was a long silence, in which Amy just stared at the TV without really seeing it. She thought she recognized the woman onscreen- someone whom she believed to be named River Song, the doctor's love and wife- but whatever she was saying, Amy didn't take in a word of it.

"I would like to apologize."

She looked over at Sheldon, surprised. "Apologize? That's highly unusual."

He shifted slightly, still looking at the TV screen. "I'm aware."

She waited for him to continue. When he didn't she said, "Apologize for what, exactly?"

"For last night."

She felt her heart drop into the vicinity of her lower intestine. Still, she had to ask: "What part of last night?"

Sheldon shifted again, looking increasingly uncomfortable. "The end, when I… I suppose one could say I embraced you. I marred what should have been a perfect evening."

"Wasn't it?"

"No. I imposed myself on you, rather strongly I might add. I had the gall to invade your personal space without your previous consent."

"Sheldon, you just held me; it was hardly a federal offense."

"Yet I set no boundaries regarding how far, per say, we would go. I allowed myself to be carried by the moment, and that was highly dangerous. Anything could have happened."

Amy saw a glimmer of light. "So you're saying you let your emotions get the better of you?"

He looked over, affronted. "Certainly not!"

"Then what?"

"…"

"Sheldon?" When he still didn't answer, she sighed and looked away, the disappointment like a literal weight on her shoulders. "…Apology accepted."

He gave a small, tight-lipped nod. "Thank you."

"Dr. Cooper? Dr. Fowler?"

Both of them turned around, surprised. Dalton stared back at them, rubbing his eyes.

"Sorry, Dalton, did we wake you up?" Amy asked.

The child prodigy nodded, yawning. "What'cha watching?"

"Dr. Who," Sheldon answered proudly. "Would you like to watch with us?"

Dalton considered this, and then nodded his consent. He walked up to the couch and, without even realizing what he was doing, sat down between them. Amy could've sworn Sheldon gave the boy a grateful look before he asked, "So how did everything go last night?"

"Fine."

"Were you good for Howard and Bernadette?"

Dalton raised a tired eyebrow. "If by 'good,' you mean I acted politely, ate all my vegetables and went to bed without complaint, then yes."

"Wow. Still snarky even at six-twenty in the morning," Amy commented.

Dalton winced. "Sorry. I'm tired."

"I bet you are. You should still be asleep. Still, you've provided us with some valuable information."

"He has?" Sheldon asked, confused.

"Yes. Seeing as our date went nicely-" She glanced at Sheldon, "-Well, fairly nicely, Penny was quite kind this morning and Bernadette and Howard had no trouble, it would be safe to conclude that, as the odds point towards Rajesh and Alejandra having had a pleasant evening, our little group seems no worse for wear."

Suddenly, there was a buzzing noise from beside the couch. Amy bent down and picked up her phone. "It's a text from Penny." She opened it and read it, and then looked up. "It appears I spoke too soon."

"I beg your pardon?" Sheldon inquired.

"Penny says she saw Alejandra putting her garbage out just a few minutes ago, and it seems there is damage control to be done. If you'll excuse me, I need to get dressed." She stood, got some clothes out of her duffle and headed towards the bathroom.

There was a pause, before Dalton said, "That's odd."

"What's odd?"

"You aren't peeking."

Sheldon raised an eyebrow. "It's a hard lesson to learn, Dalton, but one you should be able to grasp after reading a number of DC comics: a true hero never peeks."

"That's not what Penny said."

"…Drat."

**BBT**

_Knock! Knock! Knock!_

The three stood outside the apartment door, waiting. No answer.

"Come on, Ale, we know you're in there!" Penny said. _Knock! Knock! Knock!_

There was a pause, before the lock clicked, and the doorknob turned slowly. The door opened.

Alejandra glanced at them, and then looked away. Her brown eyes were red and ringed with makeup stains. "Um, hello," she said, wiping her eyes embarrassedly. "I'm just, um, correcting some papers, so, um…"

"Oh, sweetie," Bernadette said, stepping forward and pulling the taller girl into a hug. After a moment, she drew away, holding her at arm's length (or what counted as arm's length for Bernadette). "We're going to fix you right up, you got that?"

Alejandra looked as if she were about to say something, but instead nodded. She moved aside to let the three into her apartment.

It was a simple abode, with a few pieces of old furniture. There was a woven wool blanket on the couch in front of the muted TV. A few plants crowded the windows and a crucifix hung above the kitchen sink. There were a few dirty dishes in the sink, none of which had been washed, and the air smelled like honey and cinnamon.

"I'm sorry it's such a mess," Alejandra said, quickly hurrying from them and turning her face away. "I-I'm correcting the papers I put off from last…" She didn't finish, instead opting to hurriedly scrub a plate.

"I suppose that's why a tearstained article on the health benefits of starfruit has been awarded a grade of seventy-three percent?" Amy said, picking the magazine off the counter.

"I did that?" Alejandra said, turning. "Ay, I'm such a me- m-…." She started to cry again.

"Oh sweetie, don't cry!" Penny said, rushing over.

Bernadette did the same, hugging Alejandra. "They're just starfruit, Ale, don't worry."

"Rotten, no-good starfruit!"

"If you're talking about Raj, which I believe you are, I would like to point out that the term 'bastard' would likely be more appropriate," Amy added.

Alejandra let out a half-sob, half-laugh and nodded. "I know, I'm just- I'm being ridiculous, I'm sorry…"

"I doubt you're being ridiculous," Amy said. "Grading those papers can wait."

"She's right, Ale; just sit down on the couch and tell us what's wrong," Bernadette agreed, helping the woman to the couch.

"So what happened, sweetie?" Penny asked, after they'd all sat down. "Come on, you can tell us."

Alejandra wiped her eyes again. "I don't know wh-why I'm so upset; I've only known him for a w-week…"

"And he's Rajesh," Amy added. Alejandra winced. "Sorry."

"No, no, it's n-not your fault, it's mine…"

"That's good, just keep talking," Penny encouraged.

"Everything was going so nicely," Alejandra said tearfully, throwing her hands up in the air. "I don't know what happened! M-maybe I was too harsh- But he w-was just such a _pig!_" Bernadette patted her sympathetically on the back. "We were k-kissing and it was wonderful, and then he started to-" She started crying again.

"He went for second base?" Amy said matter-of-factly.

Alejandra nodded. "O-obviously I stopped him and- oh, I freaked out! I asked him what he was doing, and he said that third date meant s-sex…"

Bernadette's eyes narrowed. "He didn't."

Alejandra nodded. "And I flipped out. Ugh, I'm such an _idiot!_"

"What happened next?" Penny said.

"He said we didn't have to have sex, third base would be 'just fine.' As if that's any better!" she spat, throwing her hands up into the air as she stood. "That no-good, rotten, dirty sonofa-" She went into a long list of curses, some in Spanish, some in English, which made everyone wince.

When she had run out of breath, Amy said, "Just to clarify, you're angry because he wanted to have sex with you?"

"No, I'm angry because he had the _gall_ to think in three dates I'd be willing and easy to, God forbid I say no to sex, at _least_ third base!" She gave a vicious punch to the pillow.

Amy blinked, nonplussed (which was strange feeling for her). Bernadette explained. "Amy, a lot of girls choose to stay virgins until they get married."

"I see."

"It's just- I haven't gone out with many guys," Alejandra said angrily, "But I've dated a few, and it never lasted past the second night because they all thought I was cheap enough to sell myself out to them."

"_Cheap_ is a harsh word," Penny said.

Ale's eyes went wide. "Oh, I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"Eh, it's true," the blonde said. "Sorry, go on."

"Well, everything went so nicely with dinner and- ugh, I was such an fool! I thought he'd be different!" She pinched the bridge of her nose. "All men want the same thing."

"Not all of them, Ale," Bernadette said kindly.

She slumped onto the couch again, the anger seeming to have gone out of her. "Maybe I shouldn't have been so harsh," she said. "I mean, maybe he didn't know-"

"Sweetie, you're wearing a purity ring; even an idiot like Raj shoulda gotten the hint," Penny said with an eye roll.

Ale stood up. "Maybe I should call him-"

"No!" Penny, Amy and Bernadette said in unison.

"Listen, girl, if anyone should be calling _anyone,_ he should be calling you to apologize for what a total ass he's been," Penny said bluntly.

"She's right. And whether or not that happens, we're going to be right here for you," Bernadette added stoutly. Amy nodded behind her.

"C'mon," Penny said, pulling her back onto the couch. "We are going to watch a movie, make cookies, and do all that crazy stuff girls do when we're pissed at a guy, you got that?"

Slowly, slowly, Ale began to smile. "Thank you," she said, wiping her eyes one last time.

"No prob. Now where's the sugar?"

**BBT**

**(Roughly 12:00)**

"What did you do?" Howard demanded, walking into apartment 4A.

Sheldon, Leonard and Raj looked up at him. Only fifteen minutes previous had Raj texted them that he needed help, and Leonard had told him to come over.

The man himself blinked. "Huh?"

"What did you do?" the engineer repeated, crossing his arms. "I woke up this morning with a note from Bernadette to say we're not looking for houses today- which by the way, I really owe you for," he added, in a grateful tone.

"Um, no problem?"

"But then I called your apartment, and guess who wasn't home? It was something to do with you!" He prodded the astrophysicist in the chest forcefully. "What _exactly_ did you say to Alejandra that got Bernadette to cancel something she's been wanting to do since _before_ we got married?!"

"…Yeah," Leonard said slowly. "What did you do?"

Raj looked around at the three of them, and then threw his hands up into the air. "I don't know!" he said, distraught. "We were kissing, and then I started to…"

"You started to what, exactly?" Sheldon said, mimicking Howard by crossing his arms.

"I was trying to take her shirt off, okay? And then she jumped back and asked me what I was doing, and I asked didn't third date mean sex?"

Sheldon blinked. "Well no wonder she's in such a huff."

Raj looked at him, confused. "Huh?"

"I know I'd be in a huff if you started 'feeling me up,' as they say," Sheldon stated.

Leonard turned slowly and looked at him. "You really have no idea what you just said, do you?"

"Beg your pardon?"

"Well is that everything?" Howard said, drawing the conversation back to the topic at hand. "I mean, you can fix that."

"Well, she asked if that was the kind of girl I thought she was, so I did the gentleman thing and said we didn't have to have sex."

"Well thank God you at least got that right," Howard said, rolling his eyes.

"Yah, I said third base would be fine."

"You did _what?!_" both Leonard and Howard said in unison.

"Now wait, by third base do you mean in baseball or in sex?" Sheldon asked.

"What do you think, Sheldon?" Leonard asked sarcastically.

Sheldon thought about it a moment, and then, "_Oh._ Yes, that was out of line; I'd say you got off rather lucky." Raj groaned.

"What did she do?" Howard pressed.

"I don't know, slapped me, yelled at me in Spanish and kicked me out." Raj looked at them imploringly. "Guys, what do I do?"

"I'll tell you what you do, you march your ass up there and apologize," Howard said bluntly.

"Hey!" Raj said, hurt. "The ass would like some respect."

"Yeah, you lost that when your girlfriend kicked you out," Leonard said. "Look, Raj, Howard's right. If you really care about her, you've got to apologize."

Raj took a deep breath, standing up. "Okay. I'll go up there and talk to her-"

"No!" Leonard, Sheldon and Howard said at the same time.

He jumped a little, surprised. "What? What'd I do?"

"Are you _crazy?"_ Howard said. "You've got four pissed-off women up in that apartment right now! You go up there without a plan, and they. Will. Tear. You. _Apart!"_

"Like ravenous hyenas," Sheldon added.

"Huh?" Raj said weakly.

"Well statistically, you're outnumbered four-to-one by angry females, Rajesh," he stated matter-of-factly. "In the animal kingdom, they would rip you limb from limb, though I doubt you need to be worried of too much physical violence."

"Emphasis on the 'too much,''" Leonard said.

"Well, what do I do?" Raj said desperately.

The three of them looked at each other, before Howard said, "Honestly man, I think you're gonna have to throw yourself to the wolves."

If it was possible, Raj blanched.

"Not without a plan, though," Leonard said. "What you wanna do is write her like a letter or something and read off of it. That way, even if she slams the door in your face, you can still slip it in her mailbox or something. When she cools off, she'll have something to think about."

"Okay," Raj said, breathing out through his nose. "Okay, let's do this."

**BBT**

**(Roughly 1:00 p.m.)**

_Knock-knock._

Raj waited at the door, fidgeting, trying not to run and hide. He was terrified. Not just of being mauled, but also of facing the very person he'd offended face-to-face.

He tried again. _Knock-knock._

From the other side of the door, he heard Penny say, "I'll check." There was a pause, and then a low, "It's him."

Another long, tense moment passed, before the door opened. What was behind was truly a terrifying sight.

All four women were standing there, glaring him down. Alejandra stood at the forefront, her arms crossed and hands curled into fists. Raj remembered what she'd said about Tae Bo.

He opened his mouth, but found his selective mutism had returned. Inwardly, he groaned; he was going to _die._

He motioned towards the other three, trying to ask if they could leave so that he might be able to talk, but Alejandra shook her head. "No. You want to talk to me, you can do it in front of them."

Raj opened his mouth again. "…"

The four of them stared at him angrily, expectantly. He knew this was a test. If he couldn't get over his fear of women for her right here, right now, they were through.

And he knew he was way more terrified of that than them.

"…I-I'm sorry," he finally managed, his words short and broken, but words nonetheless. He swallowed, and then hurriedly pulled out the letter he'd written, since his mind had gone blank.

"I'm sorry," he said again, reading off the note, "And not because you told me to leave. I really care about you and- you know what, this is rubbish." He crumpled the letter in his hand. "Alejandra, I won't lie to you, I'm no good at this. Not just 'apologizing' this, the whole 'girls' this! But for the first time in forever I've met someone who's smart a-and funny… and who values herself enough to kick me out of her apartment."

Alejandra's stony glare had begun to soften, which he took to be a good sign. "I'm an idiot and I know you've got no reason to forgive me, but- but I've got to ask because if I don't then I'm an even _bigger_ idiot for not trying!" He sighed and shrugged half-heartedly. "If we could talk, I'd be grateful."

"And if not?" she said, her voice void of any emotion.

He swallowed. "I don't know."

"So you were just assuming I'd take you back?" she said, words sharp.

"I didn't want to think about if you didn't," he said honestly.

There was a long, tense moment, in which nobody said anything. Alejandra glanced back at the other three, and then to him again. He couldn't tell what she was thinking.

"…Give me an hour," she said finally.

It was as if the world had just turned upside down, and all the blood was rushing to his head. He let out the breath he hadn't know he was holding and said. "Really?"

"Really." Her lips twitched into just the tiniest smile. "Meet me out front. We have a lot to talk about." She took a step back and closed the door.

He walked away from the door- well, walked as in 'practically skipped.' He had another chance.

**BBT**

The café smelled like good espresso and cinnamon. A pretty girly place, really, but Raj wasn't out of the doghouse yet, so girly it was.

"So, as I said, we need to talk," Alejandra said, taking a drink of her latte. He nodded. "If this is going to work, we need boundaries."

"Okay. Like what?"

"I'm going to put this simple: nothing past first base. That means no sex, no touching, nothing."

"No sex? As in, ever?" he said, a little disappointed.

"As in ever. And for the record, that means no sex with anyone else, either."

He swallowed, but nodded. "Okay."

She looked at him. "You're sure you're okay with that?"

"If I'm not, we break up, right?"

"Right."

He took a deep breath. "Then yah, I'm okay. Can I still kiss you, though?" he asked, worried.

She smiled. "Yes, you can still kiss me."

He smiled, and then became serious. "I really am sorry," he said. "I didn't know- I mean, I guess I just never thought-"

"It's alright, I understand. And now you know the limits, don't you?" He nodded. "So we're good again."

"Are you still angry?" he asked cautiously.

"A bit. But not as much as before."

"Is there anything I could do to make it up to you?"

She considered this. "…I suppose there is one thing."

"What?" he asked instantly.

She winced and bit her lip, reaching across the table to squeeze his hand. "Raj, I want you to meet my family."


	13. Chapter 13 Spirits and Showers

Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory. I make no money off of this.

** A/N: Sorry, this is going to be a Shamy chapter. I promise I'll do Alejandra and Raj next!**

**BBT**

It was about nine-thirty on Sunday morning when Howard and Bernadette drove Dalton back to Los Robles after church.

"Dalton, are you sure you'll be okay?" Bernadette said, a little worried. "We could walk you in."

"The apartment is right there, Mrs. Wolowitz, and I'll have to walk the same number of flights regardless of chaperone," Dalton said, though not rudely. "Thank you for the offer, though."

"Well, okay…" she said, still not convinced. "Be careful, Dalton."

"I will. Thank you for the ride." He got out of the car.

On his way up the multiple floors, he saw multiple people moving boxes. On the third floor, he came across a man talking on the phone. "-Yeah, I couldn't take it anymore. Seriously, they're _nuts…_ Yeah, one broke the elevator and everything. The other's a nutcase, guy should be committed… Naw, I'm leaving the electric, cheap piece of crap… Hey, if nobody wants it, they can put it on the curb…" He continued to talk as he walked away, leaving the door open behind him.

Dalton peeked inside. The apartment was empty except for- and here his eyes lit up- a small, old electric piano.

He looked around and then crept inside. Nobody was in. He listened carefully, and when he heard nobody, took a few more tentative steps towards the piano.

He hesitated, fingers resting on the power button, and then turned it on. The keyboard hummed to life.

His nail tapped lightly on the scratched plastic key, once, twice. He glanced around, and then pushed down.

A soft noise came out of the speaker. He hit another. Another. A chord formed between three fingers, then descended in a trill.

His left hand joined in. The melody began slowly, simply, and then grew more complex. The upper notes rose and fell, alternated, trilled. The lower grew louder, the broken chords adding the color to the melody.

He began to play into the piece, the music pouring out of the beat up electric piano like it was a baby grand. He breathed in as the chorus soared. His hands flew across the keys, creating the beauty he could not just hear but feel. He was powerful. He was invincible. He was alive.

Finally, the melody quieted, slowing and finally coming to halt on a single lone note. He let the silence fill him, the moment where the noise had faded but the feeling had not.

"That was unusual."

He whirled around, nearly tripping over his own feet in the process. Sheldon looked back calmly.

"D-dr. Cooper," he stuttered. "I-I didn't know you were there, I-" He fell silent.

"Yes, I can believe that," Sheldon said, walking up to him. Dalton watched him without word. "You were rather involved. Even I can tell you were rather impassioned, and I have little experience in either passion or music. However, it may have been advisable to ask before you played it."

Dalton nodded.

A long silence passed in which the two Coopers stared at each other, faces inscrutable.

"Whose piano is this?" Sheldon said finally.

"It's belonged to the man who moved out."

"Does it no longer?"

"He said they could put it on the curb."

"I don't see the need for that. I'm sure you could put it to use."

Dalton's eyes went wide. "Really? You mean it?"

"Only at certain hours, of course. But I think that could be arranged."

Slowly, the seven-year-old started to smile. "Thank you, Dr. Cooper."

"You're very welcome. Now come with me; we need to convince Leonard to move it."

Dalton grinned and let out a little-boy giggle. "Don't want to move it yourself?"

"Of course not. Now go on."

Dalton hurried out of the room. Sheldon followed after, smiling slightly to himself.

**BBT**

**(That Evening)**

_Knock-knock._

The door swung open. "What's the news, grandma shoes?"

Amy gave Penny a look. "You know as well as I do that I don't fit my late grandmother's shoe size."

Penny shrugged. "C'mon in. So," she said, sitting on the couch. "What's up?"

Amy shrugged and sat down beside her. "Not much."

"No, seriously. C'mon, I've been playing therapist all day."

Amy looked at her, confused. "Why?"

"Well, Bernadette wanted to look over houses with someone other than Howard, so she texted me pictures, and then we started talking on the phone, and then she started crying," Penny explained with a shrug. "Then after I got Pregnant-and-Weepy back to her normal self, I talked to Alejandra, and obviously she's worried about Raj meeting her parents tomorrow. Which means," she checked her watch, "you're right on time. So, what'd you want to talk about?"

"I'm really only over here since 4A doesn't have any alcoholic beverages, and I was confident you would."

"Sweetie, it's like-" she checked the clock, "Nine at night."

Amy looked at her, cocking her head. "I didn't think you'd be one to object."

Penny considered this. "Yeah, true." She got up and headed towards the kitchen. "So, why aren't you over at Leonard's?"

"I was until just now. Currently Leonard and Howard have taken Raj to a movie, to 'try and get his mind off things.' Sheldon stayed home."

"Why?"

"He claimed the movie was a disgrace to science fiction. Dalton just went to bed a few minutes ago."

"So why aren't you with Sheldon?" Penny said, handing Amy a glass.

Amy didn't reply. For a moment there was silence, before the blonde got it. "Oh my god, what did he say?" she said seriously.

"…Yesterday, he apologized for the Friday date," Amy said finally, unable to meet Penny's eyes. "He said he 'imposed' himself on me,' and that him letting himself be carried by the moment was 'highly dangerous.'" She took a drink from her own glass, hating herself for it, since she knew that she would get drunk too quickly and do something with too little thought. "What's wrong with me, Penny?"

"Oh, nothing's wrong with you, Amy, it's just… he's Sheldon."

"If that's an excuse, it is a poor one. I of all people should be someone he enjoys being with, yet clearly he does not."

"Don't take it that way!" Penny said.

"Well, how should I take it?" Another gulp. The world was beginning to get a little wavy, like a funhouse mirror.

"Sweetie, I don't think it's that he doesn't enjoy being with you; I think it's that he's terrified _of_ you."

"Of me? Why would anyone be afraid of me?" A hazy image-memory of a girl with dark hair and cruel eyes swam in front of her face, but she mentally wiped it away. This wasn't the time. "I mean, I'm not-" She let out a little cough as the alcohol burnt her throat. "-I'm not scary."

"Oh, honey…" Penny said under her breath. "I mean, I think he's afraid of doing something wrong."

"To be fair, Penny, he-" Another cough, so she took a drink. "-he doesn't seem to want to do anything _at all."_ Though she knew it was ridiculous, she felt tears brim in her eyes. "Am I really that awful?"

"No, of course not Amy. You're just… you know, the first person that's ever been able to understand him. And to be honest, I think that scares him out of his mind."

"Why?"

"Because it means he wants to please you."

Amy let out a little half-sob, half-laugh. "That sounded funny…" She held out her glass.

Penny gave her a look. "You've only had like one glass and you're already looking sort of tipsy, Amy; maybe you should sort of just wait…"

"I've got a low tol- talo-" She thought, forcing her mouth to make the words. "To-ler-an-cy for alcohol."

"Yeah, I know; I remember last time. Maybe you should have some water or something?" Only one glass and her friend was already stumbling over her words; another might be catastrophic.

"No, no." She waved her hand loosely. "I wanna forget yesterday. I wanna get D-R-U-N-K."

Penny shrugged. "Well you can still spell 'drunk,' so here." She filled her glass again. "But that's it, okay?"

"Yeah, whatevs." She downed half the glass in one gulp. Penny's mouth dropped open.

"Wow," the blonde said. "You're… pretty upset over this, huh?"

"Over what?"

She blinked. "Sheldon."

Amy grinned. "Ah, I love him, haha…" She hiccupped.

Penny blinked, and then looked down at the bottle. Her face changed quickly, and she hid the label. "Um, Ames, maybe you should put that down…"

"Eh, loosen up, besty." She gave her a playful slug on the shoulder.

"Yeah, but, um, Amy, see that's not just some regular stuff, it's sort of strong…"

"Really? Good." She took another drink.

Penny winced. She'd meant to grab something pretty weak, but she'd accidentally mistook one bottle for another and… delicately put, 'weak' was not a word to describe Amy Farrah Fowler's current beverage. Combined with the fact that it was Amy and not Penny, well …things were about to get interesting.

"Don't you think he'd look hot with long hair?" the neurobiologist said, with another laugh that told Penny she was now rather three sheets to the wind. "And no shirt, now _that_ I would pay to see!"

Penny groaned inwardly. That was not a mental image she had ever wanted of Sheldon. Ever.

"Yeah, shirtless, long-haired Sheldon, what a dream," Amy said. Then, she pouted. "You lack the season of all natures, sleep."

"What?"

"Shakespeare. *_Hic!*_" She took another drink. "Aw, besty, why doesn't he love me, huh?"

"Um, I'm sure he does, Amy, in his own Sheldon-y way…"

"Yeah, like *_hic!*_ coun-ter-fac-tu-als and yoo-hoo." She let out a laugh and finished off the glass. "But seriously, I mean, the man can't even _kiss_ me, let alone have coitus." She put the glass down and buried her face in her hands. "I'm so- so _pathetic!" _She let out a little drunken sob.

"Oh no, sweetie, you're not pathetic…" Penny hurried to embrace her friend.

"I _am!_" Amy sobbed, distraught. "I c-can't even stand up to _S-Sheldon Cooper!_"

"Well-" Penny searched her brain desperately. "Well, maybe you should!"

Amy sniffled. "I should?"

"Yeah. I mean, you sort of let him do whatever he wants."

Amy slowly raised her head from her hands. "You know," she said slowly, "I think you're right, besty."

Penny smiled. "It happens every now and then."

Amy stood up. "I'm going to go over there right now and talk to him!"

"Wait, like this?" the blonde said. "That's not a great idea, Ames-"

"Are you kidding? It's a terrific idea!"

"It is?" Penny said doubtfully.

"Yes! I'd never be able to do it sober!" She strode confidently (and a little unsteadily) towards the door. "Don't you try to stop me, Penny! To quote the common internet meme, I have PMS and GPS, which means I'm a bitch and I will find you!" She left.

Penny stared at the door, mouth gaping, and then called after her, "I just live across the hall!"

**BBT**

The door to apartment 4A opened, and Sheldon looked up. "Amy, you're back."

She wobbled into the room, walking straight up to him. "Yes, I'm back." She prodded him rather clumsily in the chest, which was currently clad in a bathrobe. "Back."

He blinked. "Though I already know the answer, Amy, are you drunk?"

She thought about it, and then nodded. "Highly."

He sighed. "You _really_ must stop doing this…" He put down the pair of folded pajamas he was holding (he'd been about to go shower and change) and said, "Come along, let's get you something to eat, maybe that'll help you sober up."

"Nuh-uh," she said forcefully. He blinked. "I've got some questions for you, Cuddles!"

He crossed his arms. "Such as?"

She thought for a moment, and then, "Why won't you kiss me?"

He didn't answer for a moment, and then said, "Exactly how much liquor did you have?"

"That's not an answer!"

"Amy, you know I don't like unnecessary touching."

"Okay, that's my next question: why?"

He raised an eyebrow. "I have informed you on numerous occasions how many diseases are passed along via hand-to-hand contact."

"Uh-uh-uh!" she said, seemingly pleased. "That's not it and you know it! You went the hospital for Wolowitz's mother, remember? So is your friend more important to you than your girlfriend?"

"Of course not; what kind of a question is that?"

"I'm asking them here, mister!" She prodded him again. "So what's the real reason, huh?"

He thought for a moment, and then said, "Amy, if you are able to remember this conversation in the morning, I assure you I will inform you of my reasons when the time is right."

She considered this and then nodded. "Okay."

He turned away to go get her a glass of water, but from behind, she said, "One more question, Sheldon: are you afraid of me?"

He turned, surprised. The two stared at each other for a long moment. Sheldon opened his mouth to answer-

Amy darted for the kitchen, yanking open the top of the garbage and retching into it.

"Good Lord!" Sheldon hurried over and held her hair back as she threw up. When she was done, she slumped against him, looking thoroughly miserable.

"What exactly were you drinking?" Sheldon said, stunned. Amy let out a mumbled moan that could have contained words, but he wasn't sure. "Can you stand?"

She tried half-heartedly to push herself off the floor, to no avail. He sighed and bent down, trying to help her up. Eventually, it became apparent that her legs were currently useless.

Sheldon studied the situation, and then said, "Amy, we need to get you to the couch." She nodded dully. "Obviously you can't stand, so I'm going to try and move you myself, but I'll need your cooperation." Another nod. He knelt down and wrapped one arm around her torso and the other under the crook of her knees. "If you could wrap your arms around my neck, that would help greatly with the balance."

"Okay…" She did as told.

"On three. One- two- three." He winced and lifted her off the ground. As quickly as he could without tripping or dropping her, he carried Amy bridal-style over to the couch. He put her on the cushions and pulled the blanket over her, sitting on the edge of the couch next to her.

"…Thank you," she mumbled.

"You're welcome. Go to sleep, Amy."

She nodded, just barely, and closed her eyes. Within moments, she was out cold. He brushed her messy hair out of her eyes. Just before he was about to go, he glanced around, and then leaned down and kissed her on the forehead.

Then, he stood up, picked up the folded clothes, and headed for the bathroom.

**BBT**

**(Monday Morning)**

"-Okay, so, Moses was the one with the ark?"

"No, that was Noah."

Raj threw his hands into the air. "I give up! These names are ridiculous!"

"Says the man named Rajesh Koothrappali," Howard shot back. "Why are you doing this, anyway? Alejandra told her family you're Hindu."

"She said her family was extremely religious; I want to make a good impression."

"No offense, buddy, but if you really want to make a good impression, you should probably change shirts," Leonard pointed out.

"He has a point," Dalton agreed.

"This is the nicest thing I have that isn't dirty," Raj said. "Do you have anything I can borrow?"

"Yeah, I should. Go ahead, but you might want to hurry; Penny says she'll be here any minute."

Raj bolted off the couch and into Leonard's room. At that moment, a rather disheveled Amy Farrah Fowler bolted up in bed. "Who- wha-"

"'Bout time you woke up," Leonard said. "We've been talking the whole time, but we didn't want to wake you."

"I have an excruciating headache," the neurobiologist grumbled. "What happened last night?"

"Ask Cuddles over here," Howard said, jerking his head towards Sheldon.

She grimaced and straightened her glasses, turning towards the physicist. "Sheldon?"

"You were drinking over at Penny's," he reported. "Then you stumbled into our apartment, asked me some questions, and vomited in the kitchen garbage. After that I helped you to the couch, where you are now."

She rubbed her head. "Questions? Of what sort?"

Sheldon hesitated a split second. "Oh, crazy things. You were rather intoxicated."

"Crazy things, such as…?"

"Well, you asked me whether or not I recalled going to the hospital with Wolowitz to provide moral support when his mother was ill," he said. It wasn't technically a lie.

She furrowed her brow. "Why would I ask you that?"

"Ask Penny's liquor cabinet, not me."

She grimaced again. "I have the worst taste in my mouth… I'm taking a shower." She stood up and headed for the bathroom.

Raj came out of Leonard's room, dressed in a much nicer shirt. "This better?"

"Yeah, you look fine."

_Knock-knock._

Raj hurried to the door and opened it. Alejandra inspected him, and then said, "A little overdressed, but not bad. Come on, let's go."

Raj waved goodbye to the three men and the boy, and left with Alejandra.

"Alright, to breakfast," Sheldon said, once they were gone. "Howard, would you like anything to eat?"

"Naw, Bernadette and I are going out for breakfast before we go to her first obstetrician appointment," the engineer said, standing. "Wish us luck."

"I'm pretty sure you 'getting lucky' is why you're going there in the first place," Leonard pointed out, unable to keep the grin off his face.

Howard gave him a patronizing smile. "Now, now, no need for the _unfortunate_ to be jealous."

"What do you all say when there _isn't_ a seven-year-old in the room?" Dalton wondered.

"Well, anyway," Howard said hastily, "I'll see you three later." He left.

"Anything to eat, Leonard?" Sheldon asked.

"Um, yeah, I guess…" He walked up to the kitchen, and then frowned. "Are you eating cereal?"

Sheldon looked at him blankly. "Yes."

"But it's Monday. You always eat oatmeal on Monday."

He let out a disgruntled noise. "I'm aware. However, we seem to be out of oatmeal."

"So why didn't you go to the store and get some?"

"After Amy came in intoxicated last night, I decided it would be better to stay with her as a precautionary measure until we left for work. I don't know what Penny gave her, but she was drunker than my uncles on the first Sunday of Football Season." He poured the milk into his cereal and pulled out a spoon, carrying the bowl over to the table. He put it down on the wood and stared at it.

Leonard watched this for a few moments, and then said, "Aren't you going to eat it?"

"Of course." More staring.

"…Are you trying to move it with the Force? Sheldon, we talked about this."

"Don't be ridiculous." Still more staring.

Leonard crossed his arms. "Okay, so what are you doing?"

Sheldon sighed and looked at him. "Leonard, it just feels _wrong._ Monday is always oatmeal. Mondays and oatmeal go together."

"You know how nuts this is, don't you?"

Sheldon gave him a look. "Of course I do. I'm a genius."

Leonard sighed, too. "Okay, how about this? I'll eat the cereal and on the way to work we'll buy you some oatmeal."

Sheldon nodded and stood. "That's acceptable. Thank you."

Leonard blinked. "Um… you're welcome, I guess."

"I'm going to go get ready." He walked across the living area and into his room.

When the door closed, Dalton (who had been silent during the whole exchange), said, "Dr. Hofstadter, does Dr. Cooper perhaps suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder?"

Leonard sighed. "Dalton, I think he suffers from a bit of everything."

In his bedroom, Sheldon quickly got dressed in his green lantern T-shirt and jeans, checking the time as he did so. He made the bed, as it was bothering him, brushed his hair, and then exited the room to go brush his teeth.

Due to the oatmeal issue, his mind was still rather agitated, and what was more, he was hungry. Though he did have an eidetic memory, that memory was currently preoccupied with what he considered to be more pressing issues. Had he been able to eat his Monday oatmeal, the following incident could have been entirely preventable.

However, he had not eaten, and thus opened the unlocked bathroom door, stepping inside the small, steamy room just as Amy Farrah Fowler got out of the shower.

There was a split second when everything was fine, and then quite quickly, that split second was gone.

Both the physicist and the neurobiologist went matching shades of red as Amy quickly yanked the periodic table shower curtain in front of her*. Sheldon hurriedly closed the door behind him, though his eyes were still wide and locked on her.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't- I mean- I-" He wrenched his eyes away, feeling like he was about to hyperventilate and pass out.

"I-It's my fault; I forgot to lock the door," she stammered, pulling the towel closer around her.

His brain started to work again, and he quickly grabbed a towel off the nearby rack, holding it out beside him while still looking the other way. "C-cover up," he said, trying to swallow. His mouth was dry.

"Thank you." She wrapped the towel around herself, face hot. She glanced at Sheldon and saw his scarlet-stained cheeks.

"Well… I'm, um…" _Um? UM? You're a scientist, Cooper, get ahold of yourself!_ He coughed. "I'm going to go now."

"Okay."

There was a pause, before he forced his feet to move. Keeping his eyes directly on the door, he opened it and stumbled out of the bathroom.

He closed said door as quickly as he could and took a gulp of cold air. He shot a glance towards the living room. Neither Dalton nor Leonard had noticed.

He hurried into his room, locking the door. He looked around for a moment, and then hurried to his closet. Searching underneath his numerous comic books, he found a dust-covered Bible that had clearly never been opened. He flipped through it, mumbling something about "Matthew five twenty-eight." He read for a few seconds, then closed it with a snap, wide eyes full of terror, and said faintly, "My mother is going to exorcise me."

***Note that were this an actual episode (aka filmed) that shower curtain would have hidden everything.**


	14. Chapter 14 Meet the Family

Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory. I make no money off of this. Information on spicy food from a variety of internet resources, including http blog/the-5-spiciest-dishes-on-earth/ .

**BBT**

**(San Francisco)**

"You're going to do fine. Just breath."

Raj breathed out through his nose, trying to get rid of the jitters. "What if they don't like me?"

"They will."

"How do you know?"

She thought for a moment, and then shrugged. "Because I adore you."

That made him grin, if a bit nervously. She straightened his shirt and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Now come on." She pulled him by the wrist through the doors.

Everyone in the restaurant looked up. Instantly, there were exclamations of, "Alejandra!" and "Hey, look who it is!" as well as things in Spanish he couldn't understand.

"Luz!" a man of about thirty-five shouted, running up. He was dressed in a server's uniform, and was very handsome, all dark-featured and strong. Instantly, Raj was suspicious.

This suspicion only grew when Alejandra exclaimed, "Juan!" and hugged him, kissing him on the cheek. "How are you? Where's Papí?"

"I'm great! And Papí's in the kitchen. He's been waiting for you."

"Where are Lucas and Marcos?"

"They're coming for dinner. Hey, is this your boyfriend?" He nodded towards Raj with a joking grin.

"Yes. Raj, this is my brother, Juan. Juan, this is Rajesh Koothrappali. Papí's in the kitchen; we should go see him."

"Hey, good luck man," Juan said with a laugh, slapping him on the back. Raj winced slightly, but nodded without a word.

Alejandra led him to the back, where cooks were making the food for the lunch rush. "Papí!" she called.

About halfway through the kitchen, a man who was clearly the manager turned around, surprised. Then, he caught sight of Alejandra and Raj.

"Alejandra!" he called out happily, rushing forward to meet them. He pulled his daughter into a hug. "Ah, _mi Luz,_ ¡bienvenido de nuevo! And you must be Rajesh," he said to Raj. "Welcome!" he hugged him, and then called from behind, "Nico! Bring us some lunch!"

"Will do, Mr. Cruce-Rios!"

"Come with me," he said, beckoning with his hand.

As he led the way back out into the restaurant, Alejandra smiled at Raj. "See? He loves you already."

"You could have said he was nice!" Raj said, grinning with relief.

"Ah, but that would have ruined the fun!" she laughed.

As they all sat down around one of the tables, Mr. Cruce-Rios said, "So, _mi Luz,_ tell me everything. How did you two meet? And how did you become so…"

"Talkative?" Alejandra asked.

"Yes."

"Well, Athalia and I went out to a club one night, and his friend Howard started introduced him."

"He didn't introduce himself?" the older man said, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, Papí, it wasn't his fault. He couldn't talk to girls, just like I couldn't talk to boys."

"I still can't really talk to them," Raj confessed. "But she's helping."

"So, we started writing back and forth, and then we exchanged numbers, and it sort of went from there." She smiled at him.

"Ah, _mi Luz,_ I'm so happy for you," Mr. Cruce-Rios said, hugging his daughter. "Rajesh, you seem like a wonderful young man."

"Thank you," Raj said earnestly.

The server came up to them, carrying some food. "Here you are, sir."

"Thank you, Nico. Oh, wait." He turned to Raj. "No meat, right?"

"Only around my parents," Raj said.

The man laughed. "Nico, you may go."

"If you don't mind, I'm wondering," Raj said, when the server was gone, "what do you keep calling Alejandra?"

"_Mi Luz,_" he answered. "It means, 'my Light.'"

"In Spanish, when you say, 'to give birth,' you say _dar a luz,"_ Alejandra explained. "Literally translated, that means, 'to give light.' When I was born, my brother Lucas joked that I was the light my mother gave birth to. Since then, my family's always called me Luz."

"That's beautiful," Raj said. She smiled.

The three of them finished lunch, and then Mr. Cruce-Rios had to go back to work. Raj and Alejandra spent the next few hours talking or helping out around the restaurant.

Around six, Mr. Cruce-Rios had the assistant manager take over things, and led the drive back to his house. The drive through San Francisco was a long one, but Raj didn't mind. The car was comfortable and quiet. Alejandra didn't seem bothered by the silence, either. Both were completely at ease without talking.

Suddenly, Raj reached over with one hand and grasped hers. She looked at him, surprised, and then squeezed it and let go.

The house was small, but it smelled like good food. As soon as Raj walked in the front door, he was met with choruses of "Hey, look who it is!" and "Good choice, Luz!"

A woman of about sixty or so with graying black hair and dark eyes walked up to him, smiling. "You must be Rajesh," she said. "It's wonderful to meet you."

"Thank you. You're Alejandra's mother, right?"

"Yes. Come in, come in! Have something to eat!"

Raj followed her into the kitchen, where food was set up on the table. Just the smell of it made his mouth water.

"Alright, everyone, get some food and sit down!" Mrs. Cruce-Rios called out. The three brothers all crowded around the table. "¡Eh! ¡El invitado primero!"

"Sorry, Mamá…" they muttered in chorus.

"Go ahead," Alejandra laughed, nudging him towards the table.

He filled up his plate with the food. Everyone took a seat around the table. He was about to dig in before Alejandra stopped him.

"Wait. We pray first," she whispered.

"Everyone, join hands," Mr. Cruce-Rios said. Everyone did. "Rajesh, you don't have to pray with, just give us a moment." Raj nodded. "Bless us, O Lord, and these your gifts, which we are about to receive from your bounty, through Christ our Lord, Amén."

As everyone started to eat, Raj squeezed Ale's hand, just like he had in the car. She laughed a little, and then reached for her fork.

Raj took a bite out of his taquito. If he'd thought Alejandra's cooking was good, it was nothing compared to her mothers. "This is delicious," he said.

"My wife made every recipe for the restaurant," Mr. Cruce-Rios said. "All of our signature dishes are hers, and she adds something special to each one."

"What do you use in this?" Raj questioned. "Garlic?"

"Ah, a man who knows his spices," Mrs. Cruce-Rios said. "See, Marcos? If you'd paid attention when I tried to teach you to cook, you wouldn't keep eating our food."

"Yeah, but your food's too good to pass up, mamá," Marcos said with a laugh.

"Yes, I use garlic, and something else, too." She winked. "Family secret though, sorry."

"Every cook has his secrets," Raj said with a nod.

The conversation continued on, and he took a bite out of something brown. It was very spicy, so he took a drink of milk.

He looked up and saw Alejandra staring at him. "What?"

"You at the Mole Poblano and all you did was drink some milk," she said, surprised. "That's my mother's hottest dish."

Raj shrugged. "I grew up in India. Once my mother had me taste vindaloo pork." He shuddered. "You want to know what hell's like, I can tell you."

Alejandra laughed. "No thanks."

After dinner was over and the others were washing the dishes, Mr. Cruce-Rios pulled Raj aside and said, "Rajesh, may I have a word?"

Raj nodded, surprised. They both stepped into one of the bedrooms, and he shut the door.

"I am not a stupid man, Rajesh," Mr. Cruce-Rios said. Raj opened his mouth, but the man cut him off. "No, let me finish. I know that we live in the twenty-first century, and I know what many men want these days. Have you seen the ring on her finger?"

Raj nodded.

"I gave her that when she was twelve. She has worn it for eighteen years. That ring is her promise. I'm going to put this simply: what exactly do you want with my daughter?"

Raj swallowed. "Sir-"

"And if you lie, I will know."

He nodded. "Sir, when I first met Alejandra, I did think that we would, eventually, you know…" He trailed off. "But when I tried, and I admit that I did, she told me very clearly that we weren't going past first base."

"And you are alright with that?"

Raj nodded. "I would never ask her to break a promise."

Mr. Cruce-Rios smiled. "Good. You passed." And with that, he walked out of the room.

Raj watched him go, mouth hanging open. "That was a test?"

He walked out of the room and came face to face with Alejandra. "Hey," she said. "Did Papí-"

"You didn't tell me there was going to be a test," he said.

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "I wanted to tell you, I did, but I was afraid you'd freak out…" She frowned. "Are you freaking out?"

"No- well yah, a little. But it's fine. Do you want to take a walk?"

She nodded. "I'd like that.

They stepped outside into the spring night. Though it was in one of the nicer residential parts of San Francisco, they didn't go far from the house, walking along the sidewalk underneath the low trees of the small yards.

"So, how's work going?" Raj asked, as they walked.

Alejandra shrugged. "Same as usual. I'm lucky I could get today off."* She smiled.

They were both quiet for a long moment, before Raj asked, "What are you thinking about?"

She didn't answer for a bit, and then said, "Just that I never really believed I'd end up here."

"What do you mean?"

"Just that… I'm living my dream. I know it has its bad parts but…" She shook her head, a small smile gracing her lips. "When I was younger, at Our Lady, I was the only Latina in my grade, and- Sorry, you don't want to hear this."

"No, I do," he said honestly. "Go on."

She shrugged. "Well, I was top of my class. And whenever you're top of your class… well, people don't always like you."

"True," he said, holding her hand a little tighter, trying to give some comfort.

"This one group of girls especially didn't like me. One day, in the eight grade… one came up to me and asked how a Latina girl could be smart." Alejandra ground her teeth. "I was so furious! All the other girls started making fun of me and my family."

"So what happened?"

"The teasing kept going on, almost all year, until one day one of the nuns, Sister Marie, found me crying in the girl's bathroom. I was so embarrassed, but I ended up telling her everything. The next day, those girls came up to me and apologized."

"Wow," Raj said, surprised.

"Mm-hm. She was an interesting woman. She taught science; she was the one that got me interested in physics- and teaching, for the matter. Since then, I've always wanted to be science teacher, and look at me now. Thirty years old and I'm already a college physics professor, I'm not the 'odd geek out' anymore and I've got a wonderful boyfriend."

He grinned. "Thank you."

Suddenly, she stopped. "Raj!"

"What?" he said, worried, he'd done something wrong.

"The university is having a faculty dinner-dance the Sunday after next. Will you come with me?"

"Of course."

Her eyes went wide. "Oh, thank you, thank you!" And before he could so much as say 'you're welcome,' she kissed him full on the lips.

**BBT**

"I still can't believe there's something that tiny inside me," Bernadette sighed happily, lying down on the bed.

"I can't believe I _put_ something that tiny in you," Howard agreed.

She gave him a look, and then that quickly faded. "Oh, I'm going to be a mom…" She bit her lip, and then sniffled.

"Bernadette, are you crying?" he asked, surprised.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she said, waving her hand in front of her face. "I just- it's so-" She burst into tears.

"Oh, Jeez, Bernadette-" He looked around the room. "Is there something I can do to make you feel better or-"

"No, no, I'm happy, but-" She cried even harder. "I'm so scared…"

"I thought you just said you were happy!"

"I am! But I'm scared to- t- ahahahahah…."

Howard gave up trying to reason with her and did the only thing he could do: give his pregnant wife a hug.

**BBT**

"Leonard, I need to talk to you," Sheldon said, standing in his doorway. He was holding his sleeping bag.

Leonard looked up from the book he was reading. "Yeah?"

Sheldon glanced back towards the couch, where Amy was sitting, texting Penny. "Can I come in?"

"Um, sure, I guess…"

Sheldon hurried into the room and closed the door as quickly as he could, pressing his back to it. "I need to sleep in here tonight."

Leonard raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"I can't sleep by Amy."

"Yeah, I got that. Why?"

Sheldon looked around the room, obviously distraught. "Leonard, I did something… bad."

"Bad," Leonard said slowly.

He nodded

"And it had to do with Amy?"

Another nod.

"Did you guys have a fight or something?"

A shake.

"So what did you do?"

Sheldon cringed. "I…"

"Sheldon!" Leonard said, fed up.

"I walked in on her when she was getting out of the shower, I swear to Jesus I didn't mean to!" he said in a rush. Frantically, he began to pace. "I left as quickly as I could, but I haven't been able to get the incident out of my head all day! I got no work done, none at all! And if I have to sleep not two feet from that- that _vixen_ tonight, I'll get no rest, either!" He stopped and looked at his best friend, distraught. "Well? Say something!"

Leonard shrugged. "What can I say? You've got the hots for Amy, and you've got them bad."

Sheldon glared at him. "Again, if you would refrain from stating the obvious!"

Leonard sighed. "Fine, you can stay in here for the night. But Sheldon, eventually you're going to have to handle those feelings. They're not just going to go away."

"Well I can sure try," Sheldon retorted, rolling out the sleeping bag. Leonard sighed and turned out the light.

There was a moment of silence, before Leonard asked, "So… Do you want to borrow that book again?"

"Leonard!"

***BTW, This takes place in roughly early April. This conflicts with info in another chapter earlier, I know, but let's just ignore that, shall we? Thanks.**


	15. Chapter 15 Whatever It Takes

Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory. I make no money off of this.

** A/N: One of the reviewers, Tomasina, made an excellent point. When I said Alejandra was the only Latina in her San Francisco school, I didn't think about the fact that it was **_**San Francisco**_** we were talking about here. If anyone's offended, I'm really sorry; that wasn't the intent. Frankly I don't live in San Francisco, so I wouldn't know, and I probably should have researched that more… again, sorry.**

**BBT**

The days soon began to fly by. Both Penny and Dalton started school, Howard learned exactly what it meant to be the husband to a pregnant and craving wife, and Amy learned that the biohazard that had become her apartment was now officially unlivable for an indeterminate amount of time, which of course forced Sheldon to write up the 'living together' policy (Leonard for once used the Roommate Agreement to his advantage). However, other than this it became painfully apparent that Sheldon and Amy were avoiding as much contact as possible despite the situation.

It came to the point that Penny pointed this out to Leonard one day while he was helping her study. "So… can you explain the issue with the Shamy?" she said, looking up from her notes on Shakespearean drama.

"Oh, that," Leonard said, rolling his eyes. "He accidentally walked in on her naked and now they can't even look each other in the eyes."

"Really?" Penny said, with a frown. "That's funny."

"Why?"

"Well when I hurt my arm, he ended up seeing _me_ naked, and he didn't get all awkward about it."

"Yeah, but he never fantasized about your dandruff," Leonard pointed out.

"He did _what?"_

"Yeah, and that was _before_ the 'walking in on her' thing. The guy's got it bad- so bad he's even admitted it- but he's terrified over the whole thing."

Penny sighed. "Poor guy." She smiled at Leonard. "You know, I gotta say, watching him makes me realize how lucky I am."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you're not neurotic or childish or- well, Sheldon. You're completely you, and there's nobody like you. And I love that."

He smiled, and then leaned over on the couch and kissed her lightly. As he pulled back, she suddenly leaned forward, kissing him back. He buried his hands in her hair, and she deepened the kiss. It began to get more heated. She reached for the hemline of his pants-

Suddenly, he pulled away, breaking the kiss. Penny blinked. "What? What's wrong?"

He hesitated, and then said, "Okay, this is going to sound really, really off topic, but I promise I have a point. Have you ever heard of Albert Einstein?"

She gave him an incredulous look. "Leonard, as hard as you may find this to believe, even us normal people _have_ heard of The Albert Einstein."

"I know, I know… Einstein said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results."

"Sweetie you broke off making out for this; can you get to that point now?"

"Every time we've tried to make this work before, we've failed. But obviously we keep getting back together for a reason, right?" He sighed. "Look, all I'm saying is that we agreed to take things slow. Well… I think this is one of those things we should take it slow on."

Penny studied at him. "…You think so?" she said.

"I do." He took her hand. "Penny, I really want to do it right this time. I can't count on the fact that we'll have another chance. I don't _want_ there to be another chance."

"Leonard, if we don't break up again… then we both know where this is going," she said pointedly.

"I know. And if that's where we're supposed to end up, then I want to take as many baby steps as we need to get there." He looked her straight in the eyes. "Penny, no matter how many other girls I've gone out with, I could never stop thinking about you. And I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make this work."

"Me too," she said softly.

Leonard smiled, and then gave her a quick, chaste kiss on the lips before pulling her into a hug.

They stayed like that for a long moment, before Penny pulled away. "So… back to studying?" she said.

"Yep." He held up the notes. "Okay, so, onto Macbeth."

"Oh, joy," Penny grumbled, and yet, she couldn't help but smile. _Whatever it takes._

**BBT**

Howard mumbled something and rolled over.

The noise came again: a sort of shuffling and shunting, an opening cupboard door. He stirred and sat up.

There was the sound of something dropping and spilling everywhere. He sprang out of bed. Someone was in the kitchen.

He grabbed the overly large T-ball bat he'd gotten as a child and had never used, creeping out of his bedroom as quietly as he could. He inched towards the kitchen.

More shuffling, more shunting. He gripped the bat tighter and whispered to himself, "One… two… three!"

He sprang into the kitchen, flipping the switch on. Bernadette shrieked and whirled around. Then, she scowled. "Howie!"

A light flicked on upstairs, and Howard's mother yelled down, "WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON DOWN THERE?!"

"NOTHING, MA!" Howard yelled back.

"IF YOU TWO ARE HAVING SEX ON MY KITCHEN TABLE, I SWEAR, HOWARD WOLOWITZ-!"

"JEEZ, MA, OF COURSE WE'RE NOT!" He sighed and turned to Bernadette. "Sorry, did I scare you?"

"Yeah," she sighed. Then, she frowned at the bat. "Wow… that's big."

"SO YOU _ARE_ HAVING SEX!"

"SHE'S TALKING ABOUT MY BAT, MA!"

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU KIDS CALL IT, TAKE IT IN THE BEDROOM WOULDJA?!"

Howard face-palmed.

As they walked back to their room, Bernadette (who was now carrying a BLT with soy sauce) whispered, "We need a house."

"Yeah. In Australia," Howard muttered.

**BBT**

**(Early Morning)**

"Sheldon."

He stirred on the living room floor, but didn't awake.

"_Sheldon."_

"Danger! Danger!" he said, shooting up.

He looked around wildly for a moment, trying to figure out what was going on, before he heard a voice say, "Sheldon, it's me!"

He looked over at Amy, surprised. "Amy? What is going on? It's only-" He checked his watch. "Five forty-five A.M."

She looked at him seriously. "Sheldon, we need to talk."

"At five forty-five in the morning?"

"Yes. This is the only time when we have the ability to communicate without being overheard."

"Communicate? About what, exactly?" Needless to say, he was still a little groggy.

"About what happened a week ago."

As it hit him, color flooded his cheeks, and he let out a, "Hoooh boy," turning away.

"Sheldon, you know we need to discuss this!" Amy whisper-snapped. "Come on, sit up."

She moved aside to give him space on the couch, and he sat in his spot, keeping as far away from her as possible.

"You've been avoiding me," Amy stated.

"We've been avoiding each other."

"Irrelevant. We need to discuss this."

Sheldon shrugged. "I don't see why. It's your fault, anyway."

Her mouth dropped open, incredulous. "If I may point out, _you _walked in on _me._ You are the one at fault here."

"Directly, yes. But indirectly, you were the cause."

She crossed her arms. "Defend."

"Certainly. If you hadn't worn that black dress, we wouldn't have gone on our date. If we hadn't gone on a date, I wouldn't have apologized to you, and you wouldn't have gotten drunk at Penny, since that is obviously that the reason you were upset enough to become intoxicated. If you hadn't gotten drunk, you wouldn't have passed out in our apartment, thus allowing me to purchase my oatmeal, preventing my hunger, forgetfulness and the resulting incident."

She glared at him. "Sheldon."

"It's a reasonably sound argument, Amy."

"Regardless of whose fault it was, we need to resolve this issue."  
"Then let's go to the root of the problem," Sheldon proposed.

"Alright. However, before we continue on, I have to demand total honesty."

"Agreed," Sheldon said. "So, to the root: why did you purchase that dress?"

"Sheldon, that's hardly the topic at hand."

"Total honesty, Amy; you said so yourself."

She huffed. "Fine. I bought the dress because… I wanted someone to consider me physically attractive for once in my life. Is that a satisfactory answer?"

He blinked, surprised. "Obviously I consider your appearance to be aesthetically pleasing. Otherwise we wouldn't be in this predicament."

Now it was her turn to be surprised. "You… think I'm attractive?"

He shifted uncomfortably. "I prefer my way of stating it, but yes, I do."

She nodded. "…Good to know." She was silent for a moment, and then said, "Sheldon, what do you propose we do?"

He thought for a few seconds and then said, "Amy, despite these… well, these feelings, I will make no attempt to, as Penny once put it, get you in the sack. Things will continue as usual."

"And by usual, you mean…?"

"Our usual date night, normal conversations, the occasional embrace-"

"I object."

His mouth dropped open in surprise. "You object?"

"Yes. I propose for a change in the Relationship Agreement."

"Denied," he said instantly.

"Now hold on, you can't do that," Amy argued. "We are equal partners in this relationship; therefore as a council of two we need to discuss this."

He thought about objecting, but in the end he agreed. "Alright. Explain."

"I suggest that we alter the agreement to allow both hand-holding and kissing, _if,"_ she said, holding up a hand before he could say anything, "And _only_ if both parties agree. If either party does not consent, each are allowed to give an argument regarding his or her position. If again a party vetoes the proposal, the matter will be dropped."

Sheldon considered this. "A plan designed to give more freedom to both parties, but that freedom is able to be controlled."

"Precisely."

"Hmm… I accept. If you'll just give me a moment to run up the documents-"

"No need; I have them right here." She pulled a few out from her bag at the foot of the bed and handed them to him, along with a pen.

He looked at her, lip twitching into a half-smile. "You had this planned out."

"Of course."

"Very well." He took the pen and signed his name on the _party two_ lines. Amy did the same on the _party one_s_._ When they were done, she handed him his copy and tucked hers back in the bag.

There was a pause, and Sheldon mentally ticked down what he knew was coming. _Three… two…_

"Proposal," Amy said finally.

"I guessed as much."

"I move that we engage our first non-alcohol-or-excitement-induced kiss."

Sheldon took a deep breath. "…Agreed."

Her eyes went wide in shock; evidently that wasn't the answer she'd been expecting. "You're sure?"

"Would I have said so if I wasn't?"

"…No," she admitted. "Well… let's get this on with, then."

Sheldon swallowed nervously. "Yes. Of course." He moved closer to her, closing the distance, but seemed unsure where to put his hands. He swallowed again, his mouth dry.

She put both her hands around his neck. He ended up with one on her waist and the other cupping her cheek. He could feel the heat of her blush under his fingertips as she closed her eyes, and he realized he would have to take the initiative.

He closed his eyes and, hoping with every atom in his body he wouldn't miss, leaned forward.

The moment he felt her lips brush against his, it was as if he'd just been hit by lightning. His whole body filled with an electricity-like feeling, bright and rushing and alive.

The contact barely lasted a moment or two before he pulled away, opening his eyes to see her own gray ones staring back at him. "Fascinating," he whispered.

At that moment, the sound of an opening door came from the hall. Instantly, both of them were on opposite sides of the couch.

"Mmm. Morning, you two," Leonard said, yawning. "You're up rather early."

"Yes. We resolved the issue that arose a week ago," Amy stated. She glanced at Sheldon and gave an almost imperceptible nod that clearly said, _our little secret._

"Good for you," Leonard said, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"Thank you," Sheldon said, standing up. Amy followed him over to the counter, where he poured himself a bowl of cereal. "Leonard, if you could pass me the milk?"

"Yeah, sure." Leonard did.

There was a moment of silence, before Sheldon said brusquely, "You know, I'm not hungry." He put the milk down. "I think I'll go get dressed now." He strode off towards the bathroom.

Leonard blinked, and then turned to Amy slowly. "What the hell was that?"

In response, she only winked, before taking the bowl of cereal and adding the milk.


	16. Chapter 16 Chacha

Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory, Kamichama Karin or Facebook. I make no money off of this.

** Rubyanjel- Oh my gosh, THANK YOU! I tried FOREVER to figure out what color her eyes were! In the end I just went with gray because it was what I could figure out from the pictures… Olive green, huh? Pretty.**

**BBT**

"-You know, Leonard, as much as I was angry over what happened in the arctic, I can understand your frustration," Sheldon said with a sigh, walking into the apartment.

"Okay… I'm guessing you're looking for a 'why?'"

"You guess correctly. If I had to be trapped in one tiny cabin with a person I found as irritating as that short little weasel, I might consider heading an uprising, as well."

"Sheldon, Kripke's an idiot; don't insult yourself by comparing the two of you," Amy said.

"He broke my phone," Sheldon said, annoyed. "It'll take me all night to figure how to fix it."

"He got it locked on speakerphone; it's not the end of the world," Leonard pointed out, putting his bag down on the couch.

"You never know." The phone started to ring loudly. "Ugh, speak of the devil." He flipped open the phone. "Hello?"

"Shellybean, is that you?" a Texas accent blasted out.

Sheldon sighed. "Yes, Mom, it's me."

"What's with the sound?"

"It's my phone; a coworker set it on speaker and I haven't switched it back. Why are you calling?"

"I want to talk to you about a little something I saw on Amy's Facebook."

"Since when do you have a Facebook? Furthermore, since when have you 'friended' my girlfriend."

"Your mother sent me a friend request and a rather persuasive message awhile back," Amy stated.

"And you didn't tell me?"

"Shelly, this isn't the point," Mary said, sounding a little irritated. "The point is, I saw on young Miss Fowler's wall that the two of you are living together."

Sheldon groaned. "Mom, her apartment has become a biohazard! What was I supposed to do, turn her away?"

"Well, why couldn't she stay with your friend Penny?"

"I suffer from night terrors, Mrs. Cooper, and Sheldon is much more adept at handling them than my besty," Amy said.

"Trust me, Mrs. Cooper, nothing's going to happen," Leonard added, rolling his eyes.

"Well you don't know that, Leonard. After all, the Good Lord created men with certain desires, you know…"

"Mother!"

"Well, I'm just saying Shelly, it's not easy to fight it."

"I'm aware how the procreation system functions, mom. Homo Erectus was that way, Homo Sapiens is that way, Homo Novus is likely to be that way. Can we please move along now?" Sheldon said, looking extremely uncomfortable.

"Shelly if I wanted to believe in evolution I would've been one of those rosary rattlers, but that's not the point here! The point is, I want you and Miss Fowler to behave yourselves, and that means _no funny business, _am I clear?"

"Yes ma'am," Sheldon sighed, at the same time that Amy answered, "Perfectly, Mrs. Cooper."

"Good. Don't make me come over there. Love you, Shellybean."

"Love you too, mom." Sheldon hung up. He put the phone down on the table and rubbed his temples. "This day just keeps getting better and better!"

"Look who finally got the hang of sarcasm," Leonard said.

"Well, that's one good thing today amongst the myriad of bad."

The door opened again, and Raj came in for Thursday Pizza Night, accompanied by Alejandra. After him followed Howard and Bernadette.

"So, what's new?" Raj said. Since he'd gotten over his fear of women (well, somewhat), he was reveling in his ability to talk amongst the group.

"You mean other than Sheldon's mom grilling him about his sex life?" Leonard said, unable to keep from grinning. Sheldon sent him a glare.

"Oh no, he totally wants to hear about the Shamy," Howard said in a faux-dramatic voice.

"I told you not to call us that," Amy said, though she knew it was futile.

"What did you two this time, see a romantic movie together? _Scandalous."_

"Can we please just play eat our pizza?" Sheldon muttered.

"Ohh, well, if that's what the playboy wants, that's what the playboy gets," Howard said, taking a bite.

"So, I heard a new comic is coming out on Wednesday," Leonard said.

"You guys are into comic books?" Alejandra said.

"Yeah, are you?"

"Only the Japanese ones."

"So you're a manga fan."

She nodded. "Call me crazy, but when I was in college I fell in love with Kamichama Karin."

"Really? Me too!" Raj said. "She was so adorable!"

"You do know that that's a girl's comic, right?" Leonard pointed out.

"So? It was a great series! Did you ever read the second one?" he asked Ale.

"Yes; Suzune was so cute! And I loved how Himeka-chan got a little brother, even if he was so much younger."

"Well if you girls are done, we would love to get on with dinner," Howard said.

Raj frowned, looking hurt, but he quickly got over at. As they ate, they all talked. "Ugh, I am not looking forward to the faculty dinner-dance," Alejandra groaned.

"You seemed so excited when you asked me," Raj said, surprised.

"Oh, I was," she told him flatly. "I was excited you'd be there with me, so I wouldn't have to suffer alone."

"Is it really that boring?" Bernadette asked.

"Not only that, it's embarrassing."

"What do you mean?" said Amy.

"Well two years ago, one of my coworkers found out I knew how to cha-cha, salsa, tango, all those. My mamá used to teach dance classes, and since most of the professors are over sixty, I'm the only one that can still dance them without breaking a hip."

"So what happened?" said Leonard

"She added in Smooth to the dinner-dance playlist. Not that I don't like the song- Santana's great - but to put it simply, you need two to cha-cha."

"Ouch," Bernadette said, wincing.

"Talk about a way for everyone to find out who doesn't have a date," Alejandra said, rolling her eyes. "They did it last year, too. The good news is, this year I've got a date, even if he can't cha-cha." She laughed and kissed Raj on the cheek.

Even as the conversation moved on, a plan began to formulate in Raj's mind.

**BBT**

**(Next morning)**

"Sheldon, I need your help."

Sheldon looked up from his desk at the man sitting across from him. "Raj, it's Friday, aka a work day, aka I work. If possible, I'd like to do so without interruption."

"Please?"

He sighed. "Fine. What is it?"

"Penny told Leonard told me that you know how to cha-cha," Raj said.

"I do. Why do you ask?"

He took a deep breath. "I need you to teach me."

Sheldon blinked. "Teach an Indian to cha-cha; of all the requests I've received, that's one of the strangest."

"Please, Sheldon, you _have_ to help me!" Raj begged. "I really want to impress Alejandra at the dinner."

Sheldon sighed. "Alright." He stood up and offered out a hand. "Now, as the lead, you are going to have your hand on my waist."

Raj blanched. "Huh?"

"Focus, Koothrappali, focus. Otherwise you'll never be ready before tomorrow night."

Ran nodded and put his hand on Sheldon's waist, wincing. Sheldon put his on Raj's bicep.

"Alright, now to the step…"

They worked for a long time, before Raj eventually got the timing and step down. "Now," Sheldon said, "In this dance, often times you are going to spin your partner. Try one." Raj did, though it was a little difficult since Sheldon was so much taller. "Alright, and now a dip."

Unfortunately, the aforementioned height difference came into play here, and the dip didn't turn out right. Raj dropped the much larger Sheldon ("Oof!") and ended up only just catching himself, kneeling on top of him.

The door opened, and Sheldon, rubbing his head, looked up to see his girlfriend looking right back, with only a raised eyebrow. "Wow, Sheldon; didn't know you had it in you," she said, in her usual deadpan.

"Don't be ridiculous," he grumbled, sitting up as Raj stood. "I'm trying to teach Rajesh to cha-cha."

"I see." She closed the door behind her and helped her boyfriend to his feet. "I assume he tried to dip you and accidentally let go?"

"Correct. What are you doing here? I thought you had work?" Sheldon asked.

"I did, but I got the day off to go visit my mother in Glendale. She tripped and fractured her arm."

"My apologies."

"Thank you. She's alright for the time being, so I drove back. I decided to stop in." She nodded at Raj. "If you're attempting to tutor him for Alejandra's dinner-dance and not for another unknown reason, wouldn't it be better for him to learn with a woman, preferably one who isn't two feet taller than him?"

Sheldon considered this. "Very true."

"Music may be helpful, as well." She walked over to Sheldon's computer, opened up the internet, and found a video.

The sound of Santana's _Smooth_ quickly filled the room. "I believe this is the song she mentioned," Amy said, rewinding the video and hitting pause. She took Sheldon's place with Raj and motioned for him to hit play. Her boyfriend did.

Raj took the lead and showed her what he'd learned. "Not bad," Amy said, as he turned her. "Not good, of course, but not bad."

Since he really didn't know many steps, it continued like this for the duration of the song, except at one point where he dipped her. Amy caught a glimpse of Sheldon's inverted face before she was pulled back up.

At the end, she stepped back and gave an approving nod. "You'll need work, but it's possible."

"Thank you," he said gratefully. Then, he checked the clock. "Ooh, lunch." He left, closing the door behind him.

"I hear they have extra green Jell-O today," Sheldon said, about to follow him out when he sound of drums and guitar behind him. He turned, surprised, and saw Amy standing beside the desk. She held out a hand.

Sheldon stared at her for a minute, and then checked his watch. "Lunch can wait." He accepted the hand, put his other on her waist, and stepped forward.

**BBT**

Howard nodded towards the empty spot in front of him. "Looks like Sheldon wanted some alone time with his little lady."

"Yeah, well, good for them," Leonard said, defending his friend. "I mean, it's about time they got more serious."

"Are you sure Sheldon wants 'more serious?'" Raj pointed out.

"Yeah. Ever since he told me he was fantasizing about her dandruff that 'gently cascaded down onto her pale, slightly hunched shoulders,' I figured things would get moving along."

"You know," Howard commented, "I have yet to see Amy wear a tube or tank top."

"So?"

"So it sort of makes you wonder: what exactly was he imagining where he could see her shoulders?"

There was a moment while everyone absorbed this, before they all simultaneously set down their forks.

Suddenly, the doors to the cafeteria burst open, and a little girl of about five ran in. Petite, with curly blonde hair, a pink tutu and a flowery shirt that said _Daddy's Little Girl_, she immediately ran towards the counter with the Jell-O on it, energetically babbling to the baffled lunch ladies.

"What the heck?" Howard said, looking around. No parent was to be seen, so he got up and walked over to the little girl. "Um, hey."

She whirled around, cheeks flushed with excitement. "Hi!" she said. "I'm Lucy and its really big here and can you get me Jell-O and what's your name?"

Howard blinked. "Um, I'm Howard." He quickly stood up and got her some lime Jell-O and a spoon. "Here."

"Thanks!" she began to eat it, talking as she did so. "My daddy said if I eat too much green Jell-O, I'll turn into a cucumber, but I don't think so."

"Is that right?" Howard said, grinning and crouching down beside her.

She nodded very fast. "Uh-huh. He also says if I eat watermelon seeds, a watermelon will grow in my stomach, but I don't believe that, either."

"Why not?"

She gave him a look. "Because plants need dirt to grow! My teacher told me that."

"Well, you're right," Howard said. "Plants need dirt to grow. You're a smart little girl, aren't you?"

"Yes, and I'm not that little," she said stoutly. "I'm almost five and a half. Someday, I want to be a teacher just like my daddy. Are you a teacher?"

"No, I'm an engineer."

She giggled. "Like on a train?"

"Not exactly. Does your dad work here?"

She nodded. "That's him right there!" she pointed over by the doors, where a panting middle-aged man was looking around wildly.

Howard stood up. "Sir!" He waved his hand, and the man quickly came running over.

"Thank you," he said, when he saw Howard. "I'm Professor Jones, from the English department. We had a 'bring your kid to work' day. She just shot off in the middle of the courtyard." He knelt down beside Lucy. "Don't do that again, Lucy; you scared me!"

She giggled. "Okay, daddy. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

He smiled. "It's okay. Now let's go back now, alright? I have some special lunch for you at my office; you don't want any of this."

"Can I still have my Jell-O?"

"Of course." He took her Jell-O in one hand and hefted her up into his arms. She wrapped hers around his neck. "Thanks again, Mr. …?"

"Wolowitz," Howard said.

"Well, thanks, Mr. Wolowitz. Have a good day."

"You too, Mr. Jones."

As he walked away, Lucy waved goodbye. Howard waved back, giving a little half-chuckle.

He sat back down with the guys and continued to eat. Nobody said anything for a moment, before Raj said, "Dude, you've got that look on your face."

"What look?"

"The look you get when you see a pie and can't have any until after dinner," Leonard clarified.

"What? Don't be silly." Still, he couldn't help but picture the girl's bouncing ringlet curls, so much like Bernadette's, and the phrase on her shirt: _Daddy's Little Girl._

**A/N: I was watching the 'fantasizing' clip on Youtube, and as I rewatched it for like the millionth time it hit me: how was he seeing her shoulders? Face went like this: O_O**


	17. Chapter 17 Smooth

Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory. I make no money off of this.

**BBT**

**(Noon, Saturday)**

The house was everything they'd been looking for. Two-story above and a basement below, with small but cozy master bedroom, another smaller bedroom and a nursery, it fit the layout they wanted exactly. It was something of a fixer-upper (new coats of paint, new carpeting, etc.), but it wasn't too bad, and that only served to put it right in their price range.

They had seen most of the house, but Bernadette wanted to look a little more on the kitchen before going into the nursery. Howard climbed the stairs up alone, taking the first right.

The moment he saw it, he knew this house would end up being theirs. The ceiling slanted at a way that would have been annoying to anybody normal-sized, but neither Howard nor Bernadette would have a problem with that. A small little alcove by the window held a white rocking chair that had been left behind when the owner had moved, and a white crib found its home in the corner.

"Oh, wow," a soft voice from behind him said.

Howard nodded as his wife stepped past him, into the center of the room. She looked around, and then walked over to the rocking chair and sat down.

In that moment, Howard was sure of the existence of angels. The bright light of the sun streamed through the window onto her golden curls and pale pink clothes, the only spots of color in the white room.

He walked to her, watched as she pressed a hand to her belly and bit her lip, tears brimming in her eyes. "This one," she said softly.

He nodded. "This one." And, for the first time in a long time, Howard Wolowitz felt tears welling in his own eyes as he gripped his wife's hand on the rocking chair arm, both of them laughing as Bernadette stood and hugged him in their baby's room.

**BBT**

**(That night)**

The food had been good, the music was nice, and Alejandra was bored.

She had only survived thus far, she was sure, because Raj had been there to crack the occasional joke and talk to her about something other than work or grandchildren.

Currently, at the moment, he was handing her a margarita. "I've never seen you drink before," he commented in a quiet, polite voice, surveying the elderly couples in around them.

"I don't drink often."

"You are now."

"The pioneers used alcohol to numb the pain of surgery and other painful procedures; I consider this to be the same sort of thing." She took a sip of the drink.

"What are you thinking about?" Raj asked.

"In truth?" she glanced around to make sure no one was listening. "The hundred and one other things I would rather be doing right now."

"Would you be doing them in that dress?" he asked hopefully.

She gave him a look, but it was ruined when she couldn't help but smile. "You like it?"

"I love it. It's a great color on you."

"I have a boyfriend who can cook, clean, pick out clothes and isn't gay. I am the luckiest woman alive, and yet I am stuck here instead of somewhere fun."

Raj shrugged. "Job perks. Some of them really aren't perky."

She chuckled and checked the clock on the wall. "Only an hour and a half, and then we can leave while still being polite."

She continued to talk and take little sips of her drink, while Raj patiently bid his time. _Soon…_

**BBT**

"Hey, you guys want something to drink?" Penny said, searching through the cabinets for a bottle of wine. Their little group (sans Raj and Alejandra) had decided to get together at Penny's that night.

A general chorus of "Yeah"s was interrupted by Sheldon's, "None for me, thank you."

"Yeah, You remember what happened at the award ceremony," Leonard laughed. Sheldon glared at him.

"I'm not talking about a whole bottle of wine, sweetie, just a little bit," Penny said, pouring one of the glasses.

"I said no and I meant it, Penny," Sheldon said, a little more forcefully.

"Aw, c'mon, you really need to loosen up-"

"Penny!" Sheldon said sharply. Everyone stopped talking and looked over, surprised. The physicist's mouth had turned into a tight, angry line. "I only meant to have 'a little bit' at the award ceremony, and you saw how that turned out. Alcoholism runs in my family, and as I clearly show all the signs of being a potential victim I'm afraid I have to decline!"

The room had gone deathly silent, and for a long moment, nobody dared to talk. Finally, Penny broke the silence. "Sweetie, I'm sorry, I didn't think…"

"That's quite alright," Sheldon said, his expression softening slightly.

"None for me either, besty," Amy said suddenly.

"Amy, you don't have to do that," Sheldon said with surprise, turning to look at her.

"No, I want to. If you can't have any, then I won't, either."

"In that case, Penny, do you have any Yoo-hoo?"

"Sure thing, sweetie." She brought them over two bottles of Yoo-hoo and gave glasses of wine around to the others, turning on the T.V. Conversation slowly resumed, but throughout it Leonard noticed that she herself never touched her drink.

Finally, when he was sure that no one else was paying attention, he leaned over and said, "That really got to you, huh?"

Penny nodded. "I always thought he never drank because he thought he'd drop fifty IQ points or something. Did you know?"

Leonard shrugged. "I knew his dad was an alcoholic, so I put two and two together. I think a lot of it is that he doesn't want to turn out like his father."

"The poor guy." She looked over at him, sympathy in her eyes. "I know he can be a pain sometimes, but we forget how much the he tries, you know? How much he reigns himself in to deal with the world."

"It's why we can put up with him. He might act like a jackass some days, but in the end he's got a good heart."

They watched him as he talked to Amy, doing his strange breath-laugh when she made a joke that went over everyone else's heads. It was a far cry from the person he'd been when they first met him.

"I feel like a mom seeing her little boy grow up," Penny said with a smile.

"Momma Penny, I like that," Leonard grinned

"Baby steps, sweetie, baby steps…"

**BBT**

It was half an hour until they could leave when he heard the beat and guitar.

Beside him, Alejandra winced. "Stupid, so stupid," she muttered. "We should have le-"

He cut her off by taking her hand and pulling her out onto the floor. "Follow my lead," he whispered, and then they were off.

_Man it's a hot one._

_Like seven inches from the midday sun._

He desperately tried to remember the steps. Out, spin back around, out the other way-

_I hear you whisper and_

_The words melt everyone_

_But you stay so cool._

…Pull apart, pose, back together…

_My munequita_

_My Spanish Harlem Mona Lisa._

He twirled her around. By now, she'd caught on, and was adding in a few moves of her own.

_You're my reason for reason;_

_The step in my groove._

Out, together, spin in a circle-

_And if you said_

"_This life ain't good enough,"_

_I'd give my world_

_To lift you up._

He twirled her again, and he caught a glimpse of her laughing before she turned back the other way.

_I could change my life_

_To better suit your mood._

'_Cause you're so smooth…_

She pulled away, and then took four steps in time towards him, hips swaying.

_And it's just like the ocean_

_Under the moon_

_Well that's the same emotion that I_

_Get from you._

A double-spin here, and he found himself smiling as the steps came easier.

_You've got the kinda loving_

_That can be so smooth, yeah-_

Again, she walked away, stopping, and then walked forward with each beat.

_Give me your heart, make it real_

_Or else forget about it!_

The well-rehearsed moves fell into place, to where he didn't even have to think about them. All he could see was the incredibly strong, sexy, amazing woman in front of him, the way she laughed and smiled.

The song played its way through another verse and chorus, to a guitar solo. This was the hardest part, and he knew it.

As the guitar hit the series of high notes, he spun her three times, and then dipped her. She smiled at him. He smiled back, before pulling her up into a twirl.

_And it's just like the ocean_

_Under the moon_

_Well that's the same emotion that I_

_Get from you._

_You've got the kinda loving_

_that can be so smooth, yeah._

_Give me your heart, make it real,_

_Or else forget about it!_

The song played on through, repeating _Let's don't forget about it!_ As it faded out, they pulled apart, smiling.

The crowd in a ring around them showered them with thunderous applause. Raj gave a little bow and offered her his hand. They walked over to the edge of the ring of people, which began to push back into the center.

For the next twenty minutes or so, people came up to them and congratulated them. When finally nobody was talking to them, Alejandra led him out through a pair of double doors into the courtyard. It had started to rain, so Alejandra took off her high heels and they across the campus to the street, where he hailed a taxi.

As they got into the car, Alejandra turned to him, stunned. "Where in the world did you learn to dance like that?"

He shrugged. "Sheldon and Amy taught me."

"W-why?"

He didn't answer for a moment, and then said, "Honestly… I wanted to impress you."

She stared at him for a long moment, and he worried he was in trouble before he saw the tears brimming in her eyes. "Thank you," she whispered. "That… means a lot, Raj."

"You're welcome," he said, laughing a little with relief.

"I'll find a way to pay you back for this, I promise."

"You don't have to do anything, I-"

She put a finger to his lips, silencing him. "I promise," she repeated. "And I always keep my promises." And to the sound of the rain pattering on the roof of the taxi, she kissed him.


	18. Chapter 18 Für Elise

Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory. I make no money off of this.

**BBT**

It was a whole week later and still raining when she got the call.

Amy Farrah Fowler's cell phone buzzed as she typed up a thesis paper on her laptop, sitting on the couch. Closing the computer, she answered it. "Hello?" _Pause. _"Mother? What is it?" _Pause._ "Alright, I'm coming." She hung up and hurried for her coat by the door.

"What is it?" Leonard asked, looking up from his desk.

"My mother needs some help moving boxes into the attic due to her injured arm. I'm going to assist her."

"I'll come with," Sheldon volunteered, standing up from the table and putting down his lunch (a sandwich with rather dry lettuce).

"You will?" she said, surprised. "That's a rather uncharacteristic decision for you."

"I have nothing better to do today. I finished my work, I don't have to do my laundry until tonight and there's little on T.V. at this time on a Saturday I would enjoy watching."

"Thank you. I'm sure it will be easier to transport the larger boxes with your help. Leonard, could you watch Dalton?"

"Yeah, sure," the physicist said, going back to his work. "See you guys later."

**BBT**

"…That's the last box," Sheldon said, climbing down the ladder. "Your mother has altogether too many Christmas decorations, Amy, and I say that as the child of the mother who owned the snowmen blow-ups."

"A snowman in Galveston, Texas; that must be a sight to see." She helped him fold up the ladder/trapdoor to the attic. "Would you like to see my old room?"

"I would."

She led him across the old hallway to a wooden door. Opening it, she glanced around and saw that it had been left nearly untouched from how it had been when she left home twelve years previous, though the bed was remade. "My mother converted both my brothers' rooms into other uses, but it seems she never did so with mine. I assume she uses it as a guest room now."

Sheldon nodded, following in behind her. It was a strange room, since parts of it didn't seem to match. For instance, the old Victorian-style round mirror on the antique dresser didn't go with the dinosaur of a computer in the corner. A bed with a pink comforter added some color to the room, in contrast to the three boxes beside it, one of mechanical tools, one of surgical tools and the last holding a microscope. There was a miniature folding operating table in the corner beside the computer, as well as a few other scientific devices. On the dresser were two items, a frame holding a picture of a teenaged Amy and a music box.

The photo of Amy was old, as could be seen by the grainy quality as well as the person inside. A shorter and slightly chubbier Amy Farrah Fowler smiled at the camera, holding a science fair medal. Her hair was up in a ponytail and her sweater was a pale green instead of her usual browns and olives. However, he noticed how her smile didn't quite seem to meet her eyes.

He looked at the music box. Rectangular shaped, it seemed to be formed entirely out of pale pink seashells, lined with pearls and lace at the edges. He opened it and saw on the inside two small figurines on the pedestal: a princess and a prince.

Amy walked up beside him, looking at the music box a little forlornly. "My father gave me that when I was five," she said. "It was a birthday gift. That was back when I still believed I could feasibly become royalty for a career. Of course, I also wanted to be a scientist, a veterinarian and a dolphin trainer at that time, as well." She picked it up and turned the key in the back.

Strains of Beethoven's _Fur Elise _drifted into the otherwise still hair, precise and hauntingly beautiful. The pedestal began to turn, the princess and the prince spinning to the time of the music.

"I always wanted to be a princess," Amy said. "Ridiculous, of course… Pure fantasy."

There was a pause, and then Sheldon held out a hand. She blinked, surprised. "What is it?"

"Would you like to dance?"

"What, here?"

"I see no reason why not."

She blinked, and then accepted his hand. He led her in a modified waltz, three miniscule steps here, a turn there. Her heartbeat sped up, and she felt her cheeks redden. He'd never held her this close before, not even when they'd kissed.

The box wound itself down, the music slowing and finally coming to a rest on a treble A. Sheldon took a step back and gave a little nod. "I believe your mother is waiting for us." He walked past her out into the hall.

Amy watched him, surprised. "What was that?" she said to herself. Still confused, she followed him, forgetting to close the music box and leaving the princess and her prince frozen in time.

**BBT**

It was nearing dusk when they returned to Los Robles, stopping in the lobby. Amy had pondered his actions all day, and in the end had decided to confront him. "Sheldon," she said, as they were about to go up the stairs.

"Yes?"

"I wish to discuss something with you."

He tensed slightly. "Something of what sort, Amy?"

"You've been acting highly… strange, all day."

"I have not."

"You have!" she insisted.

He crossed his arms. "Defend."

"You agreed to help me at my mother's, you didn't talk to me the entire way there, and you asked me to dance for no reason at all! Sheldon, this isn't like you. What is going on?"

He didn't answer.

"…Sheldon?"

"Amy, I have a confession to make."

She nodded. "Continue."

He swallowed and looked away. "I… violated the Relationship Agreement."

Her eyes widened for a fraction of a second, before she shook her head, unperturbed. "Sheldon, if you're referring to the time when you held my hand as Wolowitz was being shot into space, I think we can both agree that it was a moment where moral support was needed much more than during a flu shot."

"That wasn't it."

She frowned. "Then when? And how?" She highly doubted he would cheat on her, but then again she had doubted he would ever violate the Agreement."

He still couldn't meet her eyes, looking down at his shoes. "Amy, the night you came home drunk, after you passed out on the couch… I pressed my lips to your forehead." _There. I said it._

Amy blinked. "That's it? Sheldon, _I_ kissed _you_ twice, once while intoxicated and the other after receiving a gift; I'm fairly sure this isn't that big of a deal."

"But it is!" he insisted. "I lost control of my baser urges at a most inopportune moment- you had no ability to defend yourself or rebuff my advances. What's more is that section J subsection 5.2 of the Relationship Agreement- the last section in the document, if you recall-"

"I do." She was starting to feel sick, and she hoped she was wrong about what she remembered that subsection to say.

"Section J subsection 5.2 clearly states that if any breach of the agreement is made while the offending party is both A). In full, uninhibited possession of his or her mental faculties, and B). Not experiencing decision-impairing sentiments such as great excitement or distress, the Relationship Agreement is rendered… null and void."

"That subsection was meant for me, not you."

"Regardless, we both signed it. I have broken our contract in full knowledge without being influenced by excitement or distress, which means that you are now free to do as you wish." He turned away.

"Sheldon, look at me!" she said, taking him by the arm and turning him back around. It was then that she saw the fear in his eyes.

She stared at him for a long moment, and then looked at her grip on his arm. Her hand slid down to intertwine with his. "There," she said firmly. "Now we've both committed a transgression. I held your hand without your permission."

"That does little to rectify the situation."

"Then I propose we reinstate the Agreement as it was after the last time we edited it- as a matter of fact, I move we act as if it was never broken."

He froze, stunned. "You… want to continue the relationship? Even after I broke the rules?"

"Sheldon, I am not angry with you for what you did- if anything, I'm rather flattered. Certainly I would like to continue the relationship, since you are an important part of my life. Also, we engage in the same circle of friends; if we broke off our partnership, I suspect we would face the same problems Leonard and Penny were subject to after they broke up. To do so for something like this would not befit people of our intellectual abilities."

The relief on his face was obvious, despite his attempt to hide it. "You make a valid point, Amy Farrah Fowler. I agree that this would be the best course of action."

"Then the motion is passed." She gave a firm nod, and then said, "Let's head up to the apartment, shall we?"

"Agreed."

And so, hand in hand, they walked up the stairs.

**BBT**

**(Some time later)**

Nearly a month had passed since Dalton had arrived, and it was now the end of April. Flowers were blooming in Pasadena, filling the streets with color. Bernadette's bump was now visible, if small, and the deed on the house had been signed. They would be moving in in exactly three days.

And Howard had yet to tell his mother.

"You need to grow a pair, Dude," Raj commented at lunch that day. "You're a grown man; it's time for you to fly the coop."

"Says the man whose parents 'forbade' him to go to the arctic," Howard retorted.

"He has a point, Howard," Leonard said with a shrug. "You've got three days to figure out how to make this all turn out so neither your wife or your mother kill you."

"Any suggestions?" the engineer muttered.

The other three looked around at each other, and then all gave their answers simultaneously:

"Hitch another ride with the Russians and tell her from outer space."

"Move to Canada and send her a letter."

"Wear your Yamaka while you tell her. She may be less inclined to hurt her 'good little Jewish boy.'" Ironically, this last one was from Sheldon.

Howard gave him a look. "Like that would work."

"Do you have a better idea?"

"Any idea is better than that idea." He rubbed his temples. "I think I'm just going to have to tell her outright."

There was a moment of silence, before Raj stood up with his tray and patted him on the back. "Nice knowing you, dude."

"Yep. I'll pay my respects," Leonard agreed, following him out.

Sheldon stood and, giving a moment's consideration, said, "You should have gotten your doctorate while you had the chance." With that, he followed the others out, leaving Howard to groan and put his head down on the table.

**BBT**

Howard knocked on the bedroom door. "HEY, MA, YOU IN THERE?"

"YEAH!" He reached for the handle. "DON'T COME IN; I'M IN MY DELICATES!"

He grimaced, fighting down a wave of revulsion, and then said, "I'VE, UM, GOT SOME NEWS!"

"WHAT SORTA NEWS?"

"JUST NEWS, MA!"

"GOOD OR BAD?"

"UM…" He thought. "YOU'VE NEVER HEARD ANYTHING LIKE IT BEFORE!"

"WELL, SPILL IT!"

He took a deep breath. "BERNADETTE AND I… BOUGHT A HOUSE."

There was a moment of silence, before she answered, "YOU'RE MOVING OUT?"

"UM, YEAH." He closed his eyes, waiting for the door to yank open.

It didn't. Instead, he heard, "OH THANK GOD!"

His eyes popped open. "WHAT?"

"I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER LEAVE! FINALLY! THE HOUSE TO MYSELF!"

"GEE, THANKS, MA!" he answered sarcastically, but in truth he was about to pass out from relief.

"WHEN DO YOU LEAVE?"

"TOMORROW!"

"GOOD! THE SOONER, THE BETTER! WHEN BERNADETTE GETS HOME, TELL HER CONGRATULATIONS."

"WHY CAN'T YOU?"

"BECAUSE I'M TRYING TO GET A DRESS ON AND THAT'S GONNA TAKE A WHILE!"

Howard considered this. "YEAH I'LL TELL HER!"

"GOOD!"

As he walked away from the door, he thought to himself, and then nodded. "All body parts accounted for. This went well."

**BBT**

"-GO, BABY PEACH, GO!" Penny yelled at the screen.

Friday Game Night was in full swing. The apartment was filled with noises of honking horns, cheers and explosions as the contestants raced for the Mario Kart finish line.

The _winner _tune played out as Penny sped across the finish line, with Sheldon coming in second and a surprising Amy Farrah Fowler in third.

The others of the group groaned, none too happy, as well as Sheldon. "I cannot believe I lost to you again, Penny," he said, annoyed.

"Well believe it, Cooper, because you just got _owned._"

"Second and third aren't too shabby," Amy pointed out.

"Hmph. Maybe for you, but I drive hard and fast," Sheldon grumbled.

"That's what she said," the three other men chorused out at the same time, without really thinking about it. In response, their women gave them dirty looks.

"That's what who said?" Sheldon said, baffled.

"She," Howard said. "You know, the girl you take to bed?"

"But I don't take any girl into my room, let alone my bed," Sheldon said, still confused.

"Which I bet makes Amy here feel pretty depressed," the engineer said with a smirk.

"Howard, whereas you may believe you're being comical, I can assure you that you're not," Amy said, sounding annoyed.

"Aw, I'm just messing with you, Fowler. We all know Sheldon never does anything with _anyone._"

It was around this point that the theoretical physicist realized what they were all talking about, and he scowled. "Obviously not. I have my reasons."

"Yep. One of them being you're still seven and think it's 'icky, even though everyone else on the face of this planet knows it isn't, including your own mother."

Sheldon stood up. "Howard, watch your mouth."

Howard looked up, surprised. "Take it easy, buddy, it's just joking. C'mon, we all know you don't get it and that there's nothing going on."

That was when Sheldon snapped.

"Of course there's nothing 'going on,' nor will there ever be anything 'going on!'" he said angrily. "Unlike the three of you, I _do _as a matter of fact have a control on my baser urges!

"What's more is that you don't seem to quite understand the repercussions, but I do! I've seen all three of you blunder through mistake after mistake caused by such actions, and yet you have the gall to insinuate that _I'm_ the one who 'doesn't get it!' Ignoring the effects the act itself has on a_ relationship,_ there are also the issues of diseases and that I might get Amy pregnant!"

Everyone in the room had shut up and was staring at him wide-eyed. "Do you have _any_ idea the potential problems that could cause? An infant is an enormous burden, especially if the parents aren't legally bound! And before you attempt to inform me of your so-called 'protection,' you know as well as I do that that doesn't always work." He sat down, the fire seeming to have gone out of him. "Children, especially children of the prodigy sort, always complicate relationships. I of anybody should understand this."

"Is that what I am to you?"

They all looked over at the hallway, surprised. Dalton stared back.

Sheldon realized what had happened. "Dalton-"

"Well I apologize, Dr. Cooper; I didn't realize I was such a burden," the boy said coldly, before turning and walking back into his room, slamming the door shut.

Sheldon looked at the door for a moment, and then said quietly, "That wasn't what I meant. But I'll deal with that in a moment." He turned to Amy. "I want you to understand that my refusal to engage in coitus with you is through no shortcoming of your own. It is a decision based on my own reasons, one of which is that I do not wish to see you hurt by anyone, but especially by me."

There was a long, awkward silence, which Sheldon eventually filled by standing and walking over to Dalton's door. It was locked, but he picked it within a matter of seconds and walked in.

Penny turned to Amy with sympathy in her eyes. Apparently her friend wasn't going to be getting action anytime soon. "Sweetie, I'm sorry…"

"Sorry? What for?" the neurobiologist said, sounding awed. "That's the most romantic thing anyone's ever said to me in my life!"

Penny wisely remained silent. She wouldn't have gotten a word out, anyway, since at that moment Sheldon rushed out of the room. "He's gone."

"What?" Amy said, standing.

"He's gone. The window's open and his backpack's missing, as well as the Green Lantern with the money."

"Okay, calm down," Leonard said. "It's only been a little bit; he couldn't have gotten far."

"Don't underestimate him; I once got to Houston bus stop before my mother found me." Sheldon grabbed his jacket and hurried for the door. "Penny and Leonard, go to his school. Howard and Bernadette, the bus stops."

"Gotcha."

"Alejandra and Raj, you go to the airport. Amy, you come with me."

"Wait, where are you going?" Leonard asked.

"The place he's most likely to be," Sheldon answered, before pulling open the door.


	19. Chapter 19 Piano and Pictures

Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory or Total Recall. I make no money off of this.

**BBT**

He could hear the piano even before he got into the main church.

Our Lady of Joy was empty but for the notes that hovered in the air. He recognized them, and the irony of it was not missed as the floating notes of Beethoven's Für Elise filled the otherwise silent air.

He spotted the top of a brown-haired head peeking over the edge of the piano up front, and he walked over to Dalton and sat down beside him. Für Elise came to an end.

_Silence._

Finally, Dalton said, "How did you know I'd be here?"

"You've been to very few places in Pasadena, even fewer which have pianos."

Dalton nodded. Neither said anything for a long moment, before he asked, "Why did you come after me?"

Sheldon blinked, surprised. "Why wouldn't I?"

"…Dad wouldn't have come. He wouldn't have even noticed until he needed a beer or someone to rough up," Dalton muttered bitterly.

Sheldon's mouth tightened. "Well. I'm not George." Truth be told, he didn't know which George he was referring to. "You know, I didn't mean you," he said. "What I told Amy in the living room. I meant me." When Dalton didn't say anything, he continued. "My father didn't… exactly appreciate my genius. As it turns out, not many do. You know that."

"Dr. Cooper, why are we like this?" Dalton said, finally looking at Sheldon with pleading eyes. "I hate being this way. I'm a burden to everyone."

"That isn't true," Sheldon admonished. "You are not a burden."

"You said children, especially children like me, complicate relationships."

"That is true. However, there is a very big difference between being a complication and a burden." He looked him straight in the eyes. "I was a burden for my father, because he was forced to care for me. I was a complication for my mother, because she chose to care for me."

"There doesn't seem to be much of a difference."

"Perhaps. However, I chose to become your guardian. It is not a decision I regret, nor, do I think, I will ever."

Dalton's mouth opened into a little o. "…You mean that?"

"I do."

"But what about you and Dr. Fowler?"

Sheldon fell silent for a long moment, before he said, "The relationship between Amy and me is not a weak one, and you needn't worry that you may break it. Now, I want you to return home with Amy and me. Do you consent?"

Dalton considered this, and then nodded and stood. "Thank you, Dr. Cooper."

As they walked back through the church into the lobby area, Sheldon said, "By the way, if anyone asks, I found you at the train station."

"Of course."

**BBT**

Dalton was met with a flurry of hugs, shouts and tears (from the women… and Raj) when he returned. Amy, who had managed to stay silent during the car ride, finally burst and said, "Don't you _ever_ scare me in that way again, do you comprehend?"

"Yes ma'a-" He was cut off when she embraced him awkwardly, yet just as fiercely as a mother whose child was safe again.

She pulled back, hand on his shoulder. "Now. Relocate to Sheldon's room and remain there until you receive our express permission. You are allowed to use the lavatory, and I will bring you dinner."

"Yes, Dr. Fowler." He turned and walked over to the room.

As the door shut, Amy sat down on the couch, hands shaking. Sheldon sat down beside her and started to talk to her quietly. Respectfully, the others started to converse amongst themselves to cover the noise.

Bernadette turned to Howard. "Howie, I want to talk to you," she said softly.

"What about?"

She took a deep breath, and then pulled out the cross necklace she always wore from her shirt. "About this," she said softly.

He looked confused for a second, and then his eyes went wide as he realized. "Bernadette…"

"Howie, this is important!" she insisted. "How are we going to raise our child?"

Howard was silent for a moment, before he said, "Bernadette, there really isn't a good answer for this… I mean, we knew this was a possibility when we got married right?"

"I guess… it's just… I want to raise my kid to be a good little Catholic boy or girl," she said wistfully. "But if you want something different… I mean, you're my husband. I love you."

He took her hand. "How about this: we raise the kid both ways, and let them decide when they're old enough."

"But what about Baptism? Howie, they can't decide if they're just a baby."

Howard hesitated, and then said, "The kid can get baptized, so long as if it's a boy, we, you know, take care of business."

Bernadette's eyes welled up with tears. "Really?"

"Really. And hey, we've got time, right? Bernadette, I'm an engineer, you've got a doctorate, I'm pretty sure we can figure this out."

She smiled. "You're right. We can figure this out." _I know we can._

**BBT**

**(Next Morning)**

"-Excuse me, Ms. Addiston?"

Penny looked up from where she was packing up her books for her next class. "Yes, Professor Huang?"

"May I talk to you after everyone's left?"

Penny instinctively tensed. Whenever a teacher wanted to talk to her, it generally wasn't a good thing. "Um, okay…"

After everyone had left, Penny looked at Mrs. Huang nervously, waiting for her to continue. The woman took a sheet of paper off the podium and handed it to her.

Penny looked at it, surprised, and then looked up. "This is the pop quiz. From last Thursday."

"Yes, it is. I want you to know that you scored third highest in the class. What's more is that you and four other students were the only ones who did not fail. That is approximately point-five percent of all my students."

Penny's mouth dropped open. "You're kidding."

"I rarely kid. Ms. Addiston, if you continue to study as hard as you have been, you will graduate as one of the top in the class for the semester."

"Professor Huang, I have to be honest," Penny said, "I've never been a 'good student.' I always sort of sucked at school."

The woman raised an eyebrow. "That's surprising, considering your grades here. Care to explain?"

"I… dropped out of college before because I couldn't pay my rent," she admitted. "But one of my friends is helping me pay for this now. I guess I sort of owe it to him to do well."

"In that case, I believe this friend of yours will be very proud. Continue to work hard, Ms. Addiston. I will see you tomorrow."

"I will. Thank you, professor!" She hurried out of the lecture hall with a smile on her face. _…I can't believe it. I'm one of the smart kids._

**BBT**

**(Thursday)**

As they left the theater and headed for her car, Sheldon said, "So, what did you think? Was it real or Recall?"

"I believe it was real," Amy replied.

"Defend."

"The mind is unable to create anything that it hasn't experienced. It's why when you dream, you wake up when you 'die,' or else see your body from a distance- you haven't experienced death, and as such it has no way to create the after-death scenario. He started having the dreams of Melina before he went into Recall. While it's possible that it was all an illusion based on those dreams, it seems unlikely, considering that most adult cases of repetitious nighttime disturbances are caused by past trauma."

"Which you would know due to experience."

"Yes, the knowledge of my field does make this movie more interesting."

"Amy, you know perfectly well that wasn't to what I was referring."

She tensed slightly, and then said, "Sheldon, I don't wish to talk about this here."

"Then perhaps later?" When she didn't answer, he stopped and looked at her, worried. "Amy, you've been waking up during the last few nights. Your night terrors are returning."

"I'm fine," she said shortly.

"Well if you're 'fine,' then I'd kindly thank you to stop interrupting my sleep."

"I suggest earplugs."

"Amy-"

"Sheldon, I will agree to discuss this when _you_ agree to talk about your family situation as a child, which clearly still distresses you- in other words, no time soon."

His face tightened. "…I see."

There was silence for a moment, as she fumbled with her keys, and then she said, "…That was a low blow. I apologize."

"As well you should."

"Perhaps we should just go home."

"Agreed." He got in on the other side.

When they got back to the apartments, Sheldon checked the mailbox, and then headed for the stairs.

"Sheldon wait," Amy said from behind. He turned to look at her. "I had a lovely time, and I'd rather not have the evening end on a sour note."

"I concur. I had a nice time as well."

"I would like to make a proposal."

"Of what sort?"

She took a deep breath. "I want you to kiss me."

"Rejected."

"Explain."

He gave her a condescending look. "I've described to you on multiple occasions how many pathogens can be swapped in kissing. Your turn."

"Sheldon, we are both healthy and neither of us has been sick for months. I brush my teeth and use bacteria-destroying mouthwash everyday, three times a day- more than the average human, at your own insistence. Face it, no one has a cleaner mouth than me except you."

He considered this. "…You make a valid argument."

"Then kiss me."

So he did. He awkwardly slipped his arm between hers and her side, hand resting on the small of her back. Simultaneously, he tilted her chin up and kissed her. Her olive-green eyes fluttered closed, and he pulled her closer, deciding not to suppress the 'baser urge' that was ordering him to never let her go.

…

"-So anyway," Leonard said, coming down the stairs with the other three in tow, "Stuart said there was a new series of comics in at the store, and since Penny just got Dalton to sleep and Sheldon shouldn't be back for another fifteen mi…" He trailed off, mouth falling open at the sight in front of him.

The other guys' eyes bugged as they saw Sheldon kiss Amy Farrah Fowler, both of their eyes closed, apparently deaf and blind to the entire world.

Slowly, all four pulled out their phones and snapped a picture, before creeping back up the stairs.

It was a few seconds after they had disappeared that Sheldon broke off the kiss. "Amateurs," he said, rolling his eyes. "Sneaking about is not their forte."

"Agreed."

"Do you suggest we pretend as if we didn't see them or mention it openly?" he said analytically.

She considered this, and then said calmly, "I have a better idea."

**BBT**

"…I don't believe it," Penny said in awe, looking at Leonard's phone. "That's insane… and insanely cute."

_Knock knock knock. _"All my friends." _Knock knock knock. _"All my friends."_ Knock knock knock. _"All my friends."

Leonard motioned for them to all put away their phones, and then said, "It's open!"

Amy and Sheldon opened the door and walked into the middle of the room, acting as if nothing had happened. The others shot grins around.

Amy walked towards the kitchen, but Sheldon (who was standing in the middle of the room) said, "Oh, just a moment, Amy- I need your help with something."

"Certainly." She walked back over to him. "What is it?"

Sheldon dipped her as if in a dance and kissed her for a good five seconds. Everyone's mouths dropped open.

He pulled her back up and pointed at the three males. "And FYI_,_ gentlemen, _that _is when you should've taken a picture." With that, he strode off towards the bathroom, leaving everyone but the smug Amy to watch, gaping and wondering what the hell just happened.


	20. Chapter 20 Little Boys and Girls

Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory. I make no money off of this. I thank  www. babygenderprediction how-early-gender. html for informing me of how early a gender test can take place. I went for the less accurate but six-week test purchasable test.

**BBT**

They stood in the nursery, the agreed upon place where they would first know. Bernadette's fist covered the results.

"What do you think it will be?" she asked.

"I don't know." He took a deep breath. "One way to find out."

She nodded. "Okay. On three. One… two… three!"

She opened her hand. Both of them stared at them for a long moment.

"Pink," Howard said finally. "Bernadette, it's pink." He looked at her, stunned. "We're… going to have a little girl."

"Howard, we don't know for sure," Bernadette said, but she was getting excited despite herself. She looked down at her bump. "Our little Ruth," she said softly.

"I'll walk her down the aisle and buy her a corsage for prom and- and she'll sell me as many Girl Scout cookies as I want!" Howard said, grinning like an idiot as he hugged Bernadette.

"We probably shouldn't paint the room until we know for sure," Bernadette said, looking around the bare walls of the nursery. "But when we do… can they be pink?"

"Why not. Our baby girl will have a pink room." He kissed her, and then kissed her again. "Speaking of rooms, why don't we head to ours?"

"Howie…" she giggled.

"Aw, c'mon; it's not like I can do anything now, right?"

She smiled and extended a hand, putting the tests in her pocket. "Lead me away, Mr. Wolowitz."

"My pleasure, Mrs. Wolowitz." He took the hand and led her ballroom-style from the nursery.

**BBT**

"So, tell me how you came up with Ruth," Penny said, when she and the three others were all gathered at her apartment later that day.

"If I had to take a gander at it, Penny, I'd assume it was from the Old Testament book of Ruth," Amy said factually.

"Oh, let her tell the story!" Alejandra said. Amy obliged.

"Old Testament, huh?" Penny said, sounding a little bored. "Sounds like fun…"

"Oh, no, it's a beautiful story," Bernadette said. "I still remember the first time I ever heard it. I was six years old. I'd heard all the princess stories a hundred times over and I was bored, so I asked my mother for something different."

"So how does the story go?" Penny said, still bored.

"Well, it's a love story."

She gave her a look. "Yeah. Sure."

"No, it is. She and her mother-and-law, Naomi-"

"The country?"

"No, that's Nairobi," Bernadette said with a sigh. "They were both recent widows, and they'd traveled to Bethlehem during harvest. Ruth was picking up whatever grain the servants had missed to feed them. And then one day, the landowner, Boaz, heard about how dedicated she was to her mother-in-law, so he told the servants to leave lots of grain for her."

"That's so sweet…" Alejandra said.

"It gets better. During the harvest season, Boaz worked and slept with the servants, so one night Ruth laid down beside him, which Naomi had told her to do."

"Oh, now it's getting interesting," Penny said with an evil grin.

"Easy, Penny. He woke up and was scared at first, but then he realized who she was and that she didn't have any bad intentions. She asks him to marry her, but he says that others in his family had first rights."

"So what, they didn't get married because of dibs?" the other blonde asked.

"Well, not right away. None of the others would marry her because they thought it'd put their property in jeopardy, so he stepped up to the plate." She smiled. "It's so romantic, isn't it? Like a prince marrying a beggar. That takes a real man."

"Are you happy to be pregnant?" Amy asked.

Bernadette looked up, shocked. "Of course I am! I'm going to be a mommy; why wouldn't I be happy?"

"Oh, I didn't mean it like that," Amy said hurriedly. "Only I can't imagine what it'd be like to be a mother."

"Don't you play that card, Fowler," Penny said. "You've already got yourself a little boy."

"Dalton has his own mother back home; I'm just helping Sheldon watch him for the time being." Even to herself, she didn't sound convincing.

"Of course you are," Alejandra said, but it was obvious she was trying (and failing) not to smile.

"I am!"

"Face it, Amy; you're a surrogate mother to that little genius," Bernadette said sweetly.

"…"

Immediately, they all started to make little excited sounds and comments. "Amy, that's so cute!" Penny said. "I can totally see you being a mom."

Amy shrugged this off, but try as she might, the words stayed in her head all day.

**BBT**

**(Night)**

"It's past his bedtime," Leonard said, yawning. "He might be a genius, but he still needs to sleep."

Sheldon looked up from his laptop. "Interesting. Last time you said that, you were referring to me. Now I believe you mean Dalton."

They both looked over at the seven-year-old prodigy, who was reading one of Leonard's old high school science books.

"Look, I'm going to bed," Leonard said, with another yawn. "I'm really tired; I think I may be catching something."

Sheldon jerked away. "Good Lord, Leonard, you may have mentioned that a little sooner!"

"Yeah, well… look, I don't want to get the kid sick. Can you put him to bed in a bit? Thanks." He stumbled off towards his room. Sheldon watched him go, and then pulled a little mini-bottle of hand sanitizer out of his pocket.

When he was done, he turned to Amy. "Leonard suggests we put him to bed soon."

Amy checked the clock. It was nearing nine-thirty. "That sounds reasonable." She cleared her throat. Dalton looked over. "Dalton, in order to gain the sufficient amount of hours of REM sleep required to correctly function, you need to retire for the evening."

Dalton frowned. "Aw, but I don't wanna go to bed!"

"No wining, Mister; it's time for you to call it a day," Sheldon said firmly.

Dalton sighed. "Okay..."

"Have you brushed your teeth?"

"Yes."

"Flossed?"

"Yes."

"Washed your mouth out with mouth wash?"

"Yes."

"Then let's go."

Dalton got to his feet, but stumbled a little, obviously tired. Amy steadied him, and then hefted him up, letting out a little, "Oof." He wrapped his arms around her neck, resting his head on her shoulder drowsily and closing his eyes.

She and Sheldon walked over to his room, where she put him down on the bed and tucked him in. She started to walk towards the door.

"Wait," Dalton mumbled. "Dr. Fowler, can…" He yawned. "Can you sing? Please?"

Amy turned back, surprised. "Sing what?"

"A lullaby…"

She considered it, and then nodded, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "I don't know many lullabies." She scanned her memory, thinking back as early as she could, before she recalled one her mother used to sing to her as a little girl. "I may not remember all the words."

"Okay."

She closed her eyes, trying to remember. The tune came naturally; Brahms' Lullaby was famous and hard to forget. She coughed slightly, and then started.

"_Lullaby, and goodnight, _

_With pink roses delight_."

Her voice wasn't the best, but Dalton didn't seem to mind.

"_With lilies overspread_

_Is my darling's sweet head."_

He yawned again, closing his eyes.

"_Lay you down now, and rest; _

_May your slumber be blest_.

_Lay you down now, and rest;_

_May your slumber be blest."_

She hummed the verse over again, the same way her mother used to do, and then examined the child's relaxed features. Dalton was asleep.

She stood and walked as quietly as she could back to Sheldon, who was standing in the doorframe. A gentle smile graced his features. It reminded Amy of the way her father had always smiled at her, before he'd passed away.

"May I?" he said, gesturing to her. She nodded, and he slipped his hand around her waist, resting on her side. Again, she was reminded of her parents, the nostalgia strong in the neurobiologist's mind.

They watched Dalton sleep for a while, before she said, "We did good, Sheldon."

"Hm. Terrible grammar," he said, still smiling softly. With that, they both turned away, closing the door behind them.

**A/N: Mini-chapter; hope you enjoyed it! Unfortunately, it's going to start being longer than a day between updates, I'm sorry to say; life just got busy again. Thanks to you all and I'll see you next update!**


	21. Chapter 21 Stress Trigger

Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory. I make no money off of this.

**BBT**

It was around ten P.M. on a night about two months after Dalton's arrival that it happened.

Sheldon was washing the dishes, a chore he despised but had agreed to take on, as Leonard was still fighting off that pesky cold and wanted to get to bed. Amy was working on her computer. The clickety-click of computer keys and running water, occasionally interrupted by the clink of dishes, were the only sounds in the otherwise silent apartment. The light above the sink was on, the warm orange glow conflicting with the dim blue-white of Amy's laptop.

Sheldon wiped off another dish and carefully set it in the cupboard with the others, taking an extra second to align the pale pattern on the cheap porcelain so that it lined up with the others, before turning back to the sink. He was just about to pick up another dish when he heard it: a faint sort of whimpering noise, like an injured animal.

He turned, surprised, and looked back. The sound was gone. Amy seemed unaffected; evidently she had heard nothing.

He turned back, perturbed. Clearly he had heard something, as ipso facto he had turned. Perhaps he had imagined it.

He started to scrub the plate again, rubbing at a particularly stubborn bit of-

There again! He turned around, confused. Amy had looked up; she had heard it too.

Again, the noise came- a crying sort of sound, he was sure of it now. Amy stood. "It's coming from Dalton's room," she said, frowning.

Sheldon turned off the water. Together, they crept into the seven-year-old's room.

Dalton was tossing and turning fretfully, obviously having a nightmare. Sheldon took the lead, walking over to the edge of the bed. "Dalton?" he said, in a normal voice.

The boy mumbled something, and then cried out.

"Dalton!" Sheldon said again, reaching out and shaking him awake. Dalton shot up in bed, looking around wildly.

He suddenly caught sight of Sheldon and, before the physicist knew it, had thrown his arms around him, holding the older Cooper in a death-grip of a hug and sobbing into his shoulder.

Stunned, Sheldon sat down on the bed, as Dalton continued to cry. Amy sat down beside the two of them, hesitantly rubbing Dalton's back.

"What is it?" she said, worried. "Can you tell us?"

Dalton only cried harder, and both of the adults silently seemed to vote on what to do. The decision was unanimous: to just wait the tears out and see if he went back to sleep.

Sheldon awkwardly hugged Dalton back. For what seemed like ages, Dalton cried, before finally, the tears began to abate. Slowly, he began to calm back into a sleepy quiet, and when the last few hiccups had ended, his eyes fluttered closed.

"He must have had a bad dream," Amy said finally. "Lay him back down, Sheldon; he should be alright now."

Sheldon did so, resting Dalton back on the bed. "Well, I suppose that's that," he said, standing. He pulled the covers over him and said, "Good night, Dalton." He and Amy walked for the door.

They almost made it, too.

From behind, soft and sleepy, came a, "…Goodnight, Daddy."

Sheldon froze in place, and then slowly turned. Dalton was now officially asleep.

His eyes were locked on the boy's face. Amy was right; Dalton really did look like him. His chest felt tight. Dalton had called him _Daddy._

They walked back out into the main room, Sheldon wordlessly heading over to the remainder of the dirty dishes. The sink dripped with the not-quite-off water. He picked up the soapy scrub-cloth off the counter and began to was the dishes, rubbing circles on the dishes. Circles of three. He just had to count out threes. Everything would be fine, just fine…

"I wonder what the nightmare was," Amy said. He opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out. His chest grew tighter. That word echoed in his head. Daddy.

The sink dripped again. _Drip._

"Sheldon? Are you alright?" she asked, concerned about his lack of response.

Daddy. Daddy.

"Sheldon?"

_Drip._

_ A beer bottle lay on the edge of the table, the open mouth spilling the last remnants of the liquor._

Daddy.

_Drip._

He felt his knees slam into the floor first, then his hands, pain clutching at his chest, head hitting the cabinet door under the sink-

"Sheldon!"

_Crashing glass. Shards everywhere. Screaming, furious screaming from his mother._

_ "Now you listen here, George-!"_

_ "Why the hell should I do that, Mary? So I can listen to you bitch uninterrupted?"_

_ "Don't you dare speak that way in front of our son!"_

_ "Son? You call that little weirdo a son? He can rot in hell for all I care!"_

_ "George!"_

_ "He ain't normal!"_

_ "He's special!"_

_ "HE'S A GODDAMN FREAK!"_

"Sheldon! Sheldon, can you hear me?"

_The word stung the six-year-old like a slap, and he did his best to hold back the tears, but they poured out anyway._

_ "Hey! You stop crying, you sonofabitch!"_

_ But he couldn't. He couldn't. Daddy hated him now. Daddy thought he was a freak. And if Daddy thought so, then maybe he really was._

_ "Watch your mouth!"_

_ "Says the bitch herself!"_

"Leonard, help!"

_"HEY!" he yelled._

_ "Shelly, no-"_

_ "Don't say that about Mommy! You take that back, Daddy!"_

_ "Shut up, you little freak!"_

"What happened?!"

_"Take it back!"_

_ "I said shut up!"_

_ "Take. It. BACK!"_

"Something's wrong; I think he's unconscious-"

_ WHAM!_

_"George, stop!"_

_ WHAM! BAM!"_

"Sheldon! Can you hear me? Say something!"

_"Please! I didn't mean it!"_

_ CRASH!_

"Leonard, his heart rate is accelerating!"

"Sheldon, if you can hear me, I'm calling an ambulance! Amy, do CPR!"

_"GEORGE!"_

_ "PUT THAT GODDAMN PAN DOWN, MARY; THE KID'S HAD THIS COMING!" SMASH!_

_ "Daddy, please!"_

_ "GEORGE, STOP IT!"_

"Hold on, Sheldon!"

_"Please!"_

_ WHAM!_

_"PLEASE!"_


	22. Chapter 22 Let Me Introduce You

Chapter 22

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory. I make no money off of this. Information on heart attacks from http health/guides/disease/heart-attack/overview. html .

**BBT**

_Beep... Beep... Beep…_

Sheldon mumbled something and shifted, but stubbornly refused to open his eyes.

_Beep… Beep…_

He sighed; he'd have to turn the alarm clock off eventually. Grimacing, he opened his eyes.

He was not at home; he could tell almost instantly by the blinding white light. He squinted and blinked a few times, before the room came into focus.

The first thing he noticed was that his friends surrounded him. Leonard was talking quietly and tensely to Penny in the corner. Bernadette was gripping her rosary tightly in one hand and Howard's hand with the other. Alejandra was fiddling with the edge of her dress, and Raj seemed to be counting floor tiles. Amy was staring silently at a wall, mouth tight.

He looked around with a frown, and concluded he was in a hospital. "Could someone tell me how I got here?" he asked.

Instantly, everyone looked over. "Sheldon!" Leonard said, whirling around. Sheldon watched, perplexed, as relief flooded his features. His confusion only grew as Leonard did something he never would have expected- gave him a bear hug.

When the shorter man drew away, Sheldon took another look around. Everyone else seemed just as reassured, though for what reason, he couldn't understand. He was about to ask why when suddenly, Amy butted in front of Leonard, grabbed him by the shoulders and hugged him furiously.

When she drew back, he blinked rapidly. "Amy Farrah Fowler, what in the world-"

"Don't you dare, Sheldon Lee Cooper!" she said, voice a mixture of relief and anger. He'd never seen her so emotional before. "You nearly terrified me out of my cerebrum yesterday; I believed you would expire then and there!"

"_Expire?"_ he repeated, still baffled. "For the love of Spock, can someone please tell me what happened?"

"You can't remember?" Leonard said.

Sheldon frowned, thinking back. "I remember washing the dishes… and then we heard Dalton having a nightmare, so we went into his room…" There was a moment while an inexplicable range of emotions crossed his face, before he came to an understanding. "Ah, I see. I must've had a heart attack."

"'I must've had a heart attack,' he says, like it's no big deal!" Penny said tearfully. "You scared me half to death, you big bucket of crazy!"

Sheldon looked affronted. "I'm not crazy, my-"

"Mother had you tested," everyone finished in unison. "We know," Leonard said, laughing and wiping his eyes, trying to act like he wasn't. "Thank God you're okay…"

Sheldon raised an eyebrow. "I think you should probably thank the doctors of Pasadena, instead of a deity you are unsure even exists."

"That's the Sheldon we know," Howard said, unable to keep from grinning.

Sheldon himself frowned. "You said I had the attack yesterday."

"Yes, last night," Alejandra answered.

"Then today is Monday? Morning, by the looks of it."

"It's around ten," Raj said.

"Good Lord, we should be at work!" Sheldon said, attempting to get off of the bed.

"Oh, no, no, no," Leonard said, pushing him back down.

Sheldon gave him a dubious look. "Leonard, I am six foot two; you don't even make it to five and a half. Do you really believe in a physical confrontation you'd win?"

"You might be six two, but I didn't just have a heart attack!" Leonard replied forcefully. "Which is exactly why you're staying _here!"_

"In a hospital? I hate hospitals. I love work. Ergo, I should be at work, not in a hospital."

"Sheldon, Leonard is correct," Amy interjected. She seemed to have gotten ahold of herself. "It's in your best physiological interest for you to remain here for the time being. You suffered a small heart attack, the details which a doctor will go into with you later. Your well-being depends on your recovery at the hands of the physicians here."

Sheldon considered this, and then conceded. "You're right, of course… Very well, I will remain here as long as the doctors deem necessary, but not a moment longer, understood?"

"Yeah, we got it," Leonard said, rolling his eyes, even though he was still smiling. He checked his watch. "Look, we gotta go; Seibert only gave us a few hours off, and the girls have to get back to work, too."

"Very well. I will see all of you later."

The door opened behind them, and a doctor came into the room as they all left, saying their goodbyes and promising to be back soon. When they were all gone, the doctor sat down in one of the chairs. "How are you feeling, Dr. Cooper?"

Sheldon raised an eyebrow. "I apparently just had a heart attack. How am I supposed to be feeling?"

The doctor, a man who had treated many a difficult patient in his time, only chuckled. "Seeing as you're feeling well enough to be sarcastic, I'd say fairly good."

"That wasn't sarcasm."

Another chuckle, and then the doctor said, "You seem to be a smart man-"

"Smart is an understatement."

"Then you'll have no trouble understanding my explanation of your condition."

"I know what happens during a heart attack, doctor; could we move this along?"

"Alright, we'll skip the intro then. As you know, you had a heart attack. I need to know if you felt any pain in your chest all during yesterday?"

Sheldon thought back. "Yes, my chest was rather tight all day, though I didn't think much of it. It grew noticeably worse just before the attack."

The doctor jotted this down. "Is there a history of heart disease in your family?"

"Yes, on my mother's side. My great-grandfather had a heart attack when he was fifty-seven and a half."

Another note. "Alright, so, we've hooked you up to an IV and taken care of all the other issues. You seem healthy otherwise, so it seems hereditary." He frowned slightly, reading his reports. "I notice you've taken on a charge lately. That may have contributed part of the stress factor, as well as other job-related issues." Sheldon nodded. "We'll discharge you in about a week; after that, you'll be required to take medications and go to a cardiac rehab program for a bit."

He frowned, but said, "I suppose that's reasonable, if somewhat time-consuming. Anything else?"

"Yes, just one final question: did you experience any… unusual symptoms? Some patients report seeing strange things. Some even claim to have seen the light at the end of the tunnel."

Sheldon scoffed. "I am not a religious man, doctor. Don't count me in with _them._"

"So you had no strange symptoms? No hallucinations or visions?"

Sheldon hesitated only a split second, but in that split second a thousand thoughts ran through his head. Yes, he'd had a hallucination. Yes, that hallucination had been bad, bad enough to where some (imbeciles, of course) would recommend professional help. But Sheldon didn't want to seek help. There was no need, obviously. He wasn't crazy, therefore he didn't need a psychiatrist.

So, Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper lied through his teeth and said, "No. Nothing."

**BBT**

Raj's phone rang just as he was about to drive out of the hospital parking lot. He sighed and opened it up. "Hello?"

Alejandra watched with interest as he talked. "Hi, mummy, daddy." _Pause. _"No, I'm not at work, I'm at a hospital." _Pause. _"No, not me, Sheldon! He had a heart attack- yes, yes, he's fine now, everyone's okay." _Pause. _"Yes, I know. I know. Yes, mummy, I'll eat all my vegetables. Yes. Goodbye." He hung up and put the phone down. "Ugh. See, this is why I live in the U.S. Thank Vishnu for long-distance charges."

"They seem nice to me," Alejandra commented.

"Yah, wait until you meet them," Raj answered darkly, turning on his blinker.

"You know, maybe I should meet them. Leonard's told me they Skype you. You should introduce us."

Raj tensed. "Um, I- Um- That's not- I mean, that's not such a good idea-"

"Why?" Alejandra said. Then, it hit her: "You didn't tell them about me, did you?"

He winced. "Um, no?"

"Raj!" she said, upset. "Why haven't you told them? We've been going out for two months; don't you think you should've mentioned it?"

"It's- it's complicated."

"Complicated!" she said angrily. "What, you think my family isn't complicated? Of course it is! All families are! But I still told them about you, didn't I?"

"I'm sorry!" Raj protested. "Just that my parents…"

"Your parents, what?" Alejandra demanded. "Tell me the truth."

He winced. "Look, Ale, my family is sort of… well-off, and my parents, well, they're a little snooty about it. If I told them I was dating a girl who wasn't Indian, they'd have a cow! They cut me off last time; imagine what they'd do now."

Alejandra was quiet for a moment, before she said softly, "Why didn't you tell me?"

He shrugged, looking sad. "I didn't want you to leave."

"Raj, listen," she said seriously. "I would not leave you, not over that."

He looked over at her. "You mean it?"

"Of course. But," she said, as he looked back at the road, "I do want to meet your parents."

Raj sighed. "…Alright."

"I don't want this to be uncomfortable for you, though. You can choose the time and place. Just… please, do it soon."

He swallowed. "You're right. I shouldn't put this off any longer. …Tonight we'll Skype my parents." _And get me disowned._

**BBT**

Raj opened up his laptop and sent the call. Alejandra held his hand, and he gripped hers tightly, feeling nauseated.

"Rajesh? What is going on?" his mother said on-screen. "Who's that with you?"

"Mummy, Daddy, I'd like you to meet someone," Raj said, taking a deep breath. "This… is my girlfriend, Professor Alejandra Cruce-Rios."

"Pleasure to meet both of you," Alejandra added.

"She doesn't look Indian," his father said, frowning deeply.

"I'm not," she said. "Both my parents were from Mexico."

"Rajesh, I thought we discussed this!" his mother said, clearly displeased. "You were to meet a nice _Indian_ girl! She's not Indian!"

"Mummy, I don't care about that!" Raj said. "I- I love her. A lot."

"Just like you 'loved' that deaf girl?" his father said with a snort. "Please."

"Daddy-"

"At least tell me she's Hindu!" his mother said angrily.

"I'm Catholic," Alejandra admitted.

"This is a disaster!" his father said, throwing his hands up into the air. "Rajesh, you have brought shame to this family!"

"What, and Priya didn't when she was dating Leonard?"

"She did _what?"_ his mother demanded.

"Uh-oh," Raj said, biting his lip. "I thought you knew…"

"We will deal with her later," she said. "Rajesh, I cannot believe you! You were supposed to be the _good _child, and now I see you running around with this- this _harlot!"_

"Harlot! _¿¡Perdón?!_" Alejandra said angrily. "I'm sitting right here!"

"Mummy, she is _not_ a harlot!" Raj retorted. "She refused to have sex with me!"

"You asked to have sex with her?!"

"Rajesh, you are digging yourself a bigger grave," his father warned.

"Look, mummy, daddy, I love her," Raj said, shrugging hopelessly. "She is a good girlfriend and woman in general. _She_ was the one who wanted to meet you, to set things right."

"Is this true?" his mother asked, looking at Alejandra with a hawk's glare.

"Yes," Alejandra answered, looking back with a steady gaze. "Mrs. Koothrappali, I love your son, and because of that I want there to be honesty between the four of us. I want to know and respect you, and I want you to know and respect me. I don't want to have to put him in the position of choosing between the family he loves and me."

There was a long silence, before Mr. Koothrappali sighed. "Rajesh, you are an adult now. We can't control you; you're your own man." He looked at Alejandra, seeming to study her with a disgruntled but resigned expression. "She seems to be a… very mature, respectful woman. I'd rather she were Indian, but sometimes beggars can't be choosers." He turned back to Raj, and after a tense pause, said, "I'm still not completely happy with you, Rajesh, but I understand that we can't make this decision for you. I can't speak for my wife, but… you have my blessing. For now," he added sternly.

"Thank you," Alejandra said. Raj nodded. They both looked at his mother, holding their breaths.

A long pause passed, during which she watched Alejandra with narrowed eyes. Then, finally, she said, "…Mine as well. I can't say I'm happy, but as your fathers said, beggars can't be choosers. And you, my son, are definitely a beggar."

"Thanks, mummy," Raj muttered, but he looked relieved. "Thank you both of you."

"Behave yourselves," his mother said sternly, and then signed off.

Raj closed the laptop, and sat there for a moment, silent. Alejandra looked at him, waiting.

"That… was… incredible," he said finally, turning to look at her. "How did you do that?"

"I don't know- I was nice?" she said, with a shrug.

"Come on," he said, standing up. "We're going out to celebrate."

She laughed and stood up. "Celebrate what? Your parents giving you permission for us to date?"

"Yah, that's about it." They headed for the door. "By the way, which do you like better, rubies or emeralds?"


	23. Chapter 23 News

Chapter 23

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory. I make no money off of this. Latin phrases from  latin-phrases. co. uk/quotes/philosophical/ and http legalmaxims_  .

**BBT**

"So, remind me again why we're celebrating?" Amy said, as Penny poured a glass of wine.

"We're celebrating because I scored a ninety-six on my latest test _and_ I got all my homework done early tonight," Penny said, handing her the glass of 'fake wine.'

"I'm confused; you scoured a ninety-six on a test in an _acting_ class," Amy said.

Penny only grinned, used to her friend's unintentional condescending ways. "Well, not all of us can b juice e geniuses, you know."

"I suppose that's true."

"Do you want something to drink?"

"Non-alcoholic sparkling grape, if you have it."

Penny gave her a weird look. "Sweetie, the only grape I've got is this little juice box right here."

She watched as Penny took a drink from her glass. "So, why are you not with Leonard tonight?"

"Ugh. We had a fight."

"What about?"

"About him being an ass." She rolled her eyes and didn't elaborate.

"It's his loss; you look quite ravishing tonight."

Penny sighed and put the glass down. "Okay, Amy, we've got to talk about that."

"Talk about what?"

"Well… you're little girl crush on me," Penny said, wincing. "I mean, we're best friends, and it's sort of awkward…"

Amy's shoulders slumped. "I understand."

"Don't take it the wrong way!" Penny said hurriedly. "I just-"

"No, I understand. Only… you're just the kind of best friend I've always desired," Amy confessed. "Gorgeous, funny, popular… I suppose on a subconscious level the person I've always wanted to be."

"You've never had a best friend?" Penny asked.

"No. The closest thing I ever had to post-grade-school friends was in the beginning of senior year, when the most popular girl in school, AJ Jackson, came up and apologized for the three years she'd tormented me. I was so desperate for friends that I foolhardily believed her."

"She didn't mean it?"

"No. Three weeks after her apology, she invited me to a sleepover with her friends. Those sleepovers were coveted at my school; they were the Holy Grail of all the unpopular girls. Of course I went, and when I was there they played their customary embarrassing prank, and I went home."

"Oh my God, that's awful!" Penny said, shocked.

"It was really more my fault then theirs; I was a ignoramus not to expect it," Amy said with a shrug that wasn't quite convincing. "Anyway, you're the sort of person I've always desired to be like, so as such I may have overstepped my boundaries. I apologize."

Penny sighed. "It's okay. You know, for what it counts, you're my first real best friend, too."

"I am?" Amy said, surprised. "That seems unlikely."

"Yeah, well… let's just say that things on top of the mountain aren't so easy."

"Really? From the metaphorical valley I stood in, they seemed perfect."

"Well, it's not. It's just- I mean, everyone was so _catty._ It was all who had sex with who and what friends you had. My best friend slept with my boyfriend. Let's just say they both sort of lost their best friend-boyfriend statuses." She smiled a little. "You know, it's funny, because _you're_ the sort of friend I always wanted."

"I find that hard to believe."

"Not like the whole genius thing, I didn't really expect that, but… just someone who was loyal, you know? And nice. And yeah, someone who wasn't dumber than a bag of rocks."

Amy gave a wry half-smile. "I can assure you that my IQ exceeds that of a sack of minerals."

Penny laughed and lifted her glass. "Cheers?"

"To what?"

The blonde thought a moment. "To being awesome."

Amy shrugged. "Alright. To being, as you put it, 'awesome.'" They clinked their glasses.

**BBT**

The hospital door opened, and Leonard walked in, looking annoyed. "God…" he mumbled, rubbing his head as if it could relieve the migraine he had.

"Not quite," Sheldon said, not even looking up from his computer. "But I'm working on that."

Leonard rolled his eyes. "Not you. Penny."

"She isn't a deity either, Leonard, though I can say you've made an excellent case of it with your near-worship."

He gave him a look. "That's not what I meant. I'm just sort of frustrated with her."

His taller friend looked up, unnerved. "Did you two break up again?" he asked, clearly disturbed.

"No, we didn't break up again," Leonard said, rolling his eyes. "We just had a fight."

"Though I know I will regret asking this question, what about?"

He sighed. "I don't know, something stupid…"

"I could have guessed that without your input."

"We went out to this club, and she started talking to this guy. So I asked who he was and she said he was an old ex, and we got into this argument, and- well you can guess."

Sheldon closed his laptop. "Leonard, I am going to put this in the absolute most simplest terms possible."

His friend rolled his eyes. "Thanks, Sheldon."

"You're very welcome. Now, if I were to take a gander at this, I would say you're experiencing the common human emotion of jealousy. And," he said holding up a hand before Leonard could speak, "As strange as it may sound, for once Penny is in the right."

"What?" Leonard said, incredulous.

"I know, it's shocking, but as the saying goes, even a blind pig occasionally finds a truffle. If I had to make a hypothesis, I would say that perhaps when Penny and this man's relationship ended, it was a mutual action, rendering them now 'friends.' Penny likely took your actions as overbearing."

"So you're saying this is all _my_ fault?"

Sheldon considered this. "Yes."

Leonard grimaced. "So what should I do"

"Well, in light of the recent situation, and note that this is only a suggestion… I would advise issuing her a heartfelt apology."

"Never thought I'd hear Sheldon Cooper say that."

"Au contraire. If every human were to apologize for his or her shortcomings, this world would no doubt be much more pleasant."

"Including you?" Leonard said tartly.

Sheldon gave him a look. "I said shortcomings, Leonard. Keep up." There came a knock on the hospital door, and the theoretical physicist nodded his head. "Speak of the proverbial devil."

"You don't know it's her."

Sheldon raised an eyebrow. Leonard rolled his eyes and opened the door.

Penny walked in with a flourish, her cheeks a little flushed. "Hey," she said breezily.

Leonard frowned slightly. "Are you drunk?"

"Only slightly," Amy reported from behind the blonde. "She has a high alcohol tolerance."

"Amy?" Sheldon said, craning his neck to look beyond Penny. "I hope you aren't intoxicated as well."

"I am not, and neither is Dalton." The boy stepped out from behind her and waved to Sheldon. "I mentioned that Dalton and I were intending on paying you a visit, so she elected to join us."

"Yep," Penny said

"Hey, um, Penny," Leonard said hesitantly, "Can I talk to you?"

"Uh yeah, I guess." They both stepped out into the hall, and Amy and Dalton came in. The door closed.

There was a moment's silence, before Dalton suddenly rushed up to Sheldon and hugged him.

Sheldon blinked, surprised, and then tentatively reciprocated. Dalton gave a hard squeeze, and then pulled back. "Is this my fault?" he asked in a voice that, despite his best efforts, still trembled.

"Certainly not; why would you think that?" Sheldon said, affronted.

"Dr. Fowler said some heart attacks come from stress."

"Amy is correct. However, mine was most likely hereditary." _Liar, liar,_ miniature Spock chanted in the back of his mind.

Dalton studied him for a long, tense moment, before his seven-year-old frame, slight as it was, relaxed. "Alright," he said softly. "Get well soon, Dr. Cooper. Please."

Sheldon nodded. The door opened again, and Penny poked her head in, looking happy. "Dalton, sweetie, why don't we let Amy and Sheldon talk now, okay?"

"Okay," Dalton agreed. He stepped back outside. The door closed with a click.

_Silence._

"You lied," Amy said finally.

"Not entirely. It was a half-truth."

"Yet you're incapable of doing even that much normally."

"_Lex necessitatis est lex temporis__,"_ Sheldon quoted. "The law of necessity is the law of time."

"_Veritas vos liberabit,"_ Amy retorted. "The truth shall make you free."

"Touché."

"You say it is necessary; do you lie to spare his feelings or your own?"

"I'm afraid I don't understand."

"A dubious statement at best; you are too highly gifted to not comprehend." She adjusted her glasses. "You claim your attack was hereditary, and while that may be true I sense you are hiding something. You may be able to fool the doctors, your friends and even your charge, but you will not fool me, Sheldon Cooper. What is going on?"

He didn't answer.

She gave a short nod. "I see. In that case, I will change the topic: I have news."

He straightened up. "News? Of what sort?"

"I'm moving back into my apartment. The necessary officials have stated it habitable again."

He stared. "You're leaving?"

"I am. I will have my various items removed from your apartment tomorrow morning."

"I see."

_Silence._

"…I need to drive Penny and Dalton home," Amy said eventually. "Goodnight, Sheldon."

"Goodnight, Amy."

She started towards the door. Her had was on the knob when she heard him say, "Wait."

She turned. "Yes?"

He swallowed, atom's apple bobbing. She noticed suddenly that he was pale, even paler than usual. His waxy skin looked taut on his face, and there were bruising circles under his eyes. "Proposal," he said, the word seeming stretched thin as his flesh.

Amy blinked, nonplussed. "A proposal? Of what sort?"

He wavered, and then said, "I move we hold hands for a moment or two. A sort of congratulatory gesture, more like a handshake than a hold, really." He attempted a smile that convinced no one. He really was an awful liar.

Still, he was offering to hold her hand. She considered this, and then nodded. "Motion approved." She walked back to his bed and sat beside him. They both hesitated for a moment, awkward, before he took her hand.

They sat like that for a long moment, confirming that this was hardly a 'congratulations' gesture. Finally, he cleared his throat. "Well. Good luck with the move."

"Thank you." She stood. His hand grasped hers another moment longer, before it fell back onto the sheets.

"Good evening, Amy Farrah Fowler."

"Good evening, Sheldon Cooper." She turned and left.

There was a moment between when the door clicked shut and the second after where the scent of her antibacterial soap hung in the air, before it was gone and he was forced to acknowledge the fact that now, so was she.

**A/N: Wow, the last few chapters were really angsty, huh? Sorry for the wait; I'll make sure to get you some comedy as soon as I can.**


	24. Chapter 24 Positions and Permissions

Chapter 24

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory. I make no money off of this. I thank http Health/Healthday/story?id=7670616&page=1#. UDbqHI6hDFI for information on primates and Alzheimer's Disease.

**BBT**

**(About a week later)**

"Ms. Addiston, a word with you?"

"Um, yeah." Penny waited until everyone had left the lecture hall. As the door closed, she said, "What's going on?"

Mrs. Huang looked around, and then said, "There is a job opening I wish to inform you of."

"Really?" Penny said, surprised. "Wow, thanks-!"

"Don't thank me yet. I need you to listen closely. This is not an acting position."

The blonde blinked. "What do you mean?"

"This is a _teaching_ position. A drama teacher and good friend of mine is intending on retiring next year. In the fall, she is looking to hire on a student teacher, to assist her and to be trained to take on the position the following year. If you were to do this, you could receive the student-teacher experience necessary to apply for a teaching certificate for the state of California, though of course you'd need to take the required education courses, which can be completed online. You could fill that position when she leaves."

Penny stared at her, mouth gaping. "I- wow. I don't know what to say, um…" She put a hand onto the podium, blinking. "I don't get it. I mean, I know I'm not the best student here-"

"No, you are not. However, I see in you a dedication to doing things the right way." She adjusted her glasses. "Ms. Addiston, as you and I both know, many of these students will go out into the wide world and find that there is very little work in acting. The smart ones will get teaching positions or jobs at performing arts companies. It won't earn them much, but it will be enough to give them a small yet comfortable lifestyle, and if acting is what they love then they will be happy. The others will be lost and stumble from job to job, maybe all their lives. I want you to be one of the happy ones."

"But why me?" Penny asked. "I mean, why would you do this?"

The professor's lips twitched into a small smile. "Let's just say that someone once did something very kind for me. It's high time I paid it forward. Now, if you do well for the next month and pass your finals with a good mark, I will put in a good word for you."

"Wow… thank you," Penny said honestly. "I don't know what to say."

"Hmph. Say you'll pass your final with flying colors, and then I'll be happy."

"I will," the blonde promised, hoisting her bag onto her shoulder and heading for the door. "I swear, Professor, I won't let you down!"

**BBT**

"-I can't believe it!" Penny said enthusiastically. It was pizza night, and she had excitedly recounted what had transpired in class.

"Yes, a potential job teaching high school students how to affect a British accent; you must be so proud," Sheldon said, clearing his dishes to the sink. He'd just returned home from the hospital that morning.

Amy shot a disapproving look. "Play nice, Sheldon; clearly Penny is proud about her potential achievement, as miniscule and uncertain as it may be."

Penny looked slightly out-put, but nonetheless defended her position. "Look, maybe to you geniuses being a teacher doesn't seem that appealing, but for me it's like a whole new option."

"So you're giving up on being an actress?" Bernadette asked.

She shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, I tried and it didn't work. Besides, teaching sort of looks like fun. I think I could do well with kids."

"Sure. I mean, you're really good with Sheldon," Leonard said with a snicker. Sheldon shot him a surprised look.

"When do you apply?" Dalton asked, swinging his legs (they just barely brushed the floor).

"In about a month, after finals. Then I'll interview for the job and hopefully I'll get it." She gave a hopeful grimace. "It's worth a shot, right? The pay won't be great, but it'll be a helluva lot better than I've got now."

"Well way to go," Leonard said, giving her a peck on the cheek. "I'm proud of you, Penny."

She grinned and kissed him back. "Thanks."

Sheldon checked the clock. "Dalton, it's far past your bedtime; you should really be in your room by now."

"Aw, can't I stay up just a little later, Dr. Cooper?" the little prodigy pleaded.

"Definitely not. You should have been asleep twenty-three minutes ago. Now scoot."

Dalton sighed and stood up. Sheldon followed him to his bedroom and closed the door behind him. Leonard stood up and said, "I should get started on the dishes."

"Oh, I'll help," Penny added.

"No, I've got it."

"Okay."

As the conversation continued, Amy slid over to Penny. "So, bestie, what's up?"

"Uh, aside from that, nothing much. What's up with you?"

Amy shrugged. "Well today, I received a sample from a dead chimp who's brain contains the plaque buildups similar to those that cause Alzheimer's Disease in humans."

"Oh. Interesting."

"Indeed. Since the molecular structures of the buildups in humans seem to be different from that of primates, thus preventing them from falling victim to Alzheimer's, it's possible that with time science could find a way to prevent the disease. It's all very intriguing."

Penny shook her head with a little laugh. "Even as long as I've known you people, I still can't get half of what you say, especially you and Sheldon. I mean, I know he's supposed to be smarter than you, but seriously sometimes I think you confuse me more than he does. No offense."

"None taken. Actually-" She looked around, and then leaned next to Penny. "I have an IQ of one-hundred eight-eight, one point higher than Sheldon."

The blonde's eyes went wide. "No way," she said, gaping. "Seriously?"

"Yes. Though I'd never tell him, of course. When he asked, I lied and said my score was one-eight-five."

"Why?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Amy said matter-of-factly. "In order to protect his manly pride, I was playing dumb."

Penny couldn't help but snort a little. "Sweetie, if you really wanna play dumb, you're going to need more acting classes than me." She frowned slightly. "Speaking of Dr. Wackadoodle, you guys have been acting a little weird. You know, ever since you told him you were moving out and he asked to hold your hand?"

"You know about that?"

Penny winced. "Yeah, um, Leonard and I sort of eavesdropped…"

Amy grimaced. "I went in with every intent to be collected and professional, and I expected him to do the same. Unfortunately we both caved, and I'm afraid its done more good than harm. Things have been awkward since."

"Yeah, okay, why did you do that?" Penny confused. "I mean, not just the 'professional' thing, the whole 'moving out' thing."

"For the first, I'd wished for the whole event to have as little awkwardness as possible. For the second, I'm not moving out; I'm moving back in."

"You know that isn't what I meant."

"I do." She looked away, fiddling with her skirt for a moment. "I suspect Sheldon may have lied, at least in part, when he told us all the attack was hereditary. In fact, I'm under the impression it was caused partially by stress." She looked up. "I didn't wish to add to that stress any longer."

"I'm sure he doesn't think of it like that, I-"

"Penny," Amy said, cutting her off. "Sheldon told me before that he refused to put me in harm's way, even inadvertently. I believe I should do the same."

"Wow," Penny said. "Amy, that's… really great of you."

"I hope so. I don't want him to have another attack. That was…" She trailed off.

"I know. It was awful for all of us."

"I never want to see him that way again." Her eyes fixed themselves upon the physicist himself, who was just leaving Dalton's/his room.

Her friend was silent for a moment, before she said softly, "You really care for him, don't you?"

"More than I've ever cared about anyone before," Amy replied, more to herself than to Penny.

The actress watched as Sheldon sat down and started to talk to Leonard, completely oblivious to their conversation.

_I hope you know how great you've got it, Wackadoodle, _Penny thought. _I really hope you do._

**BBT**

It was late that night when Leonard heard the familiar knocking on his door.

With a groan, he rolled out of bed and stumbled over to the door, opening it with a, "God, Sheldon, it's one in the morning; what is it?!"

Sheldon, just freshly released from the hospital that day, looked back at him. He was holding his pillow. "I can't sleep," he said bluntly, sounding very much like a child.

"So you decided to interrupt mine?" Leonard grumbled, rubbing his eyes.

Sheldon ignored this. "I believe staying in your room for the night may help."

"Why would you want to stay in my-" Suddenly, it dawned on him. "You miss Amy, don't you?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"Then what?"

Sheldon shuffled his feet and didn't answer.

A pang of sympathy pulled at Leonard's heart. He knew how when Sheldon had heard about Amy leaving, he had done his best to make it as unemotional an event as possible (probably for both their sakes). It had worked to a point; he had cracked just as she had been about to leave and asked to hold her hand. Now here he stood, clearly missing her and unable to sleep. No wonder he'd looked so exhausted in the hospital.

"Yeah, I guess," Leonard said, though he knew he'd regret it.

"Thank you." He walked over, put the pillow down on the bed, and crawled in.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Leonard yelped. "What are you doing?!"

Sheldon gave him an annoyed look. "Well, I'm _trying_ to sleep."

"What, in my bed?! Why not on the floor?"

"I don't like sleeping on the floor."

"You just did for like a month and a half!"

"Yes, but the living floor is carpeted. Yours is hard," Sheldon pointed out, as if this should be obvious.

Leonard groaned. "Fine. I just go sleep on the couch-"

"No!" Sheldon said hurriedly. Then, his eyes went wide, and he ducked his head, embarrassed. "Excuse me, I misspoke. I meant, the, erm, couch is very lumpy tonight. Awful lumbar support, you won't speak a wink." His face brightened. "Yes, awful support; that's why I came in here!" he said triumphantly.

Leonard saw straight through the lie, and, after thinking for a moment, sighed. "Fine, fine…" He stood up and went over to the closet, pulling out his sleeping back, which he laid on the ground. He stole a pillow from the bed and got into the bag, yawning. "Goodnight, Sheldon."

"Goodnight, Leonard." Within moments, the physicist was asleep. Leonard glanced once more around the dark room, and then closed his eyes, as well.


	25. Chapter 25 Interruptions

Chapter 25

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory or Snickers. I make no money off of this.

**BBT**

"-Alright, so we've got the same colors, right?"

"_Yes,_ Bernadette," Howard said.

"Wait, what about primer?!"

"It's two in one, Bernadette."

"Okay, good…" She trailed off, eyeing up the chocolate bars that lined the register.

Howard sighed and pulled the paint out of the cart, putting it on the line. The man working the till gave him a wry grin. "New kid on the way?" he asked.

"Ohhh yeah," Howard sighed. "How did you know?"

"Had three 'a them myself. 'Course, now my babies have babies." He chuckled and started to ring up the costs. Howard's phone buzzed, and he opened it.

"Hey, mom." _Pause._ "No, we're at the paint store." There was another pause, and he rolled his eyes sarcastically. "We're going to splatter paint an elephant; what do you think we're doing here?!" His face changed quickly. "No- I- Well how the hell was I supposed to know?"

"What's wrong?" Bernadette said.

Howard held up a hand, telling her to wait. "I can't promise you something like that, she's my wife-!" _Pause._ "No, I don't want to be smited- smote- whatever!" _Pause. _"Mom- mom, I- yes. No. Yes. Ehh… Fine! Fine! I promise! Are you happy now, you crazy old bat?! Yeah? Well, GOOD!" He forcibly hit the 'end call' button and groaned.

"Howard Wolowitz, what is going on?!" Bernadette demanded, crossing her arms.

"We can't paint the nursery," he said, exasperated.

"What? Why not?"

"Ma said it's being presumptuous to God or something, I don't know."

"What? How did you _not_ know about this?!"

"Hey, just 'cause I'm Jewish doesn't mean I know every little detail! I've never had a kid before; how was I supposed to guess?"

Bernadette sighed. "Well… I don't want to make your family angry, so I guess we'll just have to put it back and paint it after the baby's born…" She looked at the till man apologetically. "I'm sorry; I know this doesn't happen every day."

"You'd think," he said with a chuckle. He helped Howard load the cans back into the cart, and Bernadette started to push it back down the aisles.

Howard was about to follow when the man caught him by the shoulder. "Hey," he said. "Take my advice: do the wife a favor and get her a Snickers."

"Will do," Howard mumbled. "Thanks."

"No problem."

As the engineer walked away, he couldn't help but rub his head, which was quickly developing a migraine. "Seven more months," he told himself. "Just seven more months…" He glanced down at his phone and saw a text. He opened it and read it, and then called, "Bernadette?"

"Mm-hm?" she said, putting a pink can of paint back.

"I just got a text from one of my astronaut buddies in Texas," he informed her. "They want me to come down for a day or two next month, catch up a bit."

"That'll be nice," she said absent-mindedly.

He hesitated, and then said, "I want you to come with me."

"Why? It'll just be a for a few days."

He walked forward and took her hand, just as she was reaching for another paint can. She looked up, surprised. "Howie…"

"I want to take our honeymoon," he said. "Three weeks, right after that. I'll ask for the time off at work."

"But where would we go?"

"You always wanted to go to Europe," he said. Her eyes went wide, so he hurriedly continued before she could say anything. "I know people there; family, friends, some of the guys from the shuttle…"

"Do we have enough money?" she said, stunned.

"I've been saving up, ever since we got engaged," he confessed. "Working extra hours, selling my old games, anything. I worked it out last night; we've got enough. I meant it to be a surprise, but now's a good a time as any."

She bit her lip, and then suddenly, she kissed him fully and passionately on the mouth. When she pulled back, there were tears in her eyes. "I love you so much," she whispered.

He grinned. "I love you too, Bernadette." Suddenly, seven months didn't seem that long.

**BBT**

_Knock-knock knock._

Amy looked up, surprised. She waited, but nothing else came, so she walked over to the door.

She couldn't have had a more unexpected visitor.

"Hello, Leonard," she stated, frowning in confusion. "May I ask why you're here?"

"I'm here because you're making my life hell," the physicist replied bluntly.

She considered this. "I see. Please come in." She stood aside and allowed him entrance.

He stepped into her lab. A few beakers of unspecified liquids, as well as a microscope and a petri dish with something inside. He decided not to look closer.

"Now, if you would more clearly explain your current issue?" Amy said, walking over to the microscope and putting a slide underneath.

"My issue is that I've gotten a like three hours of sleep total in the last four days! Sheldon keeps sleeping in _my _room, in _my _bed, and what's more is that he talks in his sleep!"

"While I understand and have a certain level of empathy for your dilemma, I fail to see how this is my fault," Amy said matter-of-factly, adjusting the slide and writing something down in her laptop.

"It's your fault because he clearly misses you, and you've got to do something about it!"

She looked up, surprised. "He misses me?"

"Shyeah! Like enough to drive me _freaking insane!_" Leonard sighed. "Look, I'm not saying you've got to move back in or anything- my God, am I not saying that! But figure out whatever the hell it is that's making you two so distant, because I can't take it anymore!" And with that, he strode across the room to the door. Just as he was about to leave, he pointed at her. "_Do something_," he ordered, and then left. The door clicked shut behind him.

Amy stared at the spot he'd been in. "Do something," she repeated to herself.

**BBT**

_Knock-knock._

Nothing.

_Knock-knock. _"Sheldon, I know you're in there."

Sheldon tensed. "Amy, I'm working; if you could come back at a better time-"

The door swung open, and Amy Farrah Fowler walked in. She took one look at the blank whiteboards and the crumpled pieces of paper in the wastebasket and crossed her arms. "You call this work?" she demanded.

He bristled. "Well, I wouldn't expect a _biologist_ to understand-"

"You have no work done, you've clearly spent hours trying to accomplish anything with little to show for it, and yet you have the audacity to tell me to return at a more suitable time. Sheldon Cooper, as your girlfriend I demand an explanation."

"Denied."

"Denial rejected!" she said furiously, slamming her palm down on his desk. Sheldon blinked; he'd never seen her this angry before. "Ever since what transpired in the hospital, you have been acting completely awkward, may I even say gauche, around me and quite frankly both I and our friends have had enough."

"I beg your pardon!" he said, offended.

"Sheldon, we are equal partners in this relationship and as such you have an obligation to at least tell me what, if anything, I did wrong. What's more is that you have no right to avoid me, lie to me, or bother Leonard to the point where he disrupts my own work!"

"High talk coming from the woman in my office," he shot back.

"An office with blank whiteboards and full wastebaskets. What is going on?" she demanded, looking him dead in the eyes.

He met them for a moment, before looking away and turning to his whiteboard. Without even knowing it, he began to blink erratically, in multiples of three, face twitching as he wrote down variables.

Amy watched him for a long moment, and then said in a gentler tone, "Sheldon, I cannot help but feel as if I should be attempting to assist you."

"There is nothing I require you to do."

"I see." She fell silent for a moment, and then said, "If you change your mind, please inform me."

"I shall."

She turned and headed for the door.

"Actually…"

She turned. "Yes?"

Though he hadn't turned around, his hand had frozen, the pen stopped halfway through writing a number _2. _He hesitated a moment, and then said, "…There is something you could do."

_To Be Continued…_


	26. Chapter 26 In a World Where

Chapter 26

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory, Apple or whoever makes MP3s. I make no money off of this. I'd like to thank HarryPotterTNGfan for the captain's speech, as she has it recorded in her fiction The Vacation Conundrum. Also, I got the information on Yellow Fever from  health. nytimes health/guides/disease/yellow-fever/overview. html .

**A/N: LOL, don't roast me alive, people! (Turn me over; I'm done on this side! – Sorry, Catholic humor). You'll see what he asked her to do.**

**BBT**

"She isn't here."

"Calm down, Sheldon, I'm sure she'll be here any minute now."

"But she _isn't here._ She promised she'd be here."

"Sweetie, don't worry; she's probably just running late."

"Maybe you're right, maybe your wrong. Maybe she was eaten by a bobcat." He sat down in his seat and buckled the seatbelt, carefully adjusting the length and then pulling out the plane safety brochure. "I hope she arrives soon; if she doesn't, she'll miss the flight."

"Look, there she is now," Howard said, rolling his eyes.

Indeed, Amy Farrah Fowler was coming down the aisle. She gave a "Hello" to the others (which garnered some response), and then sat down between Sheldon and Dalton. "Sorry I'm late; I had to stop for feminine hygiene products."

Leonard let out a little half-groan and sunk down lower in his seat as people glanced over. Penny patted his hand comfortingly.

"It's lucky all seven of us could seating on the same flight, isn't it?" the neurobiologist said matter-of-factly.

"Oh yeah," Howard said, voice fake-cheery. "Just terrific."

"_Good morning everyone, this is your captain speaking_," the intercom crackled to life. "_Please turn off all electronic devices and return your seats and trays to their upright, locked position. You may turn on the approved electronic devices once we are safely in the air again. We will be arriving in Galveston, Texas in approximately three hours. Remember to set your watches two hours ahead and fasten your seatbelts. Thank you for flying with Southwest Airlines, and we hope you'll have an enjoyable flight."_ The intercom clicked off.

As the plane pulled onto the runway, both Dalton pulled a comic out of his backpack and started to read. Sheldon glanced over at Dalton's and said sharply, "What are you reading?"

"Thor," Dalton answered, without looking up.

Sheldon gasped. "You're reading a _Marvel comic?"_

"Mm-hm." He turned the page.

"Wh- wha- That's a betrayal!"

"Of what; characters that don't exist?"

"Oh, the horror!" Sheldon cried dramatically. People were starting to stare again.

"Sheldon, calm down!" Leonard hissed urgently.

"It's just a genre of comic books," Amy pointed out.

"Just a- just a- You people are crazy!" Sheldon said indignantly.

"Says the man who insisted on bringing six pencils with your carry-on, no more, no less," Howard pointed out. "Now shut up or security's gonna have a fit."

Sheldon huffed. "This isn't over, young man," he told Dalton in a low voice.

"Uh-huh."

The plane stopped for a moment as it straightened itself on the runway. Sheldon's hands gripped the armrests.

"What's up?" Penny said, looking worried (like Amy, she and Leonard were along for morale support).

"He's afraid of the takeoff," Amy reported matter-of-factly, reading an article from her _Neurobiology Today._

"I. Am. Not. Afraid," Sheldon said tersely.

Amy sighed and put down the magazine. "Proposal," she said, holding out her hand.

"Denied," he said shortly. She shrugged and opened her article back up again.

The plane started to move, rumbling to life. "Approved!" Sheldon yelped. "Approved!"

Amy took hold of his hand, and he gripped it tightly, white-knuckled. Howard leaned over to Leonard. "We're never letting him live this down, are we?"

"Never," Leonard said with a smirk.

"Be nice, Howie," Bernadette said, though she couldn't help but smile a little.

The plane lifted into the air. Pasadena shrank beneath them, the wisps of clouds floating past the windows and then covering them entirely, before the plane broke up over the clouds.

There was a pause, and then Amy said, "Sheldon, you may let go of my hand now."

"Oh. Correct." He hastily redrew his hand. "My apologies."

"Don't apologize. Aerophobia is a common symptom among people of all ages."

"As I stated before, I'm not afraid of planes," he said shortly. "…Though I will feel much more at ease once I'm out of this flying can of death."

"He'll be dead all right, but it won't be the plane," Howard said under his breath.

"_Attention passengers: we have now reached a safe altitude, and you may turn the approved electronics back on." _There was a shuffling throughout the plane to retrieve iPods and MP3s. _"We will be experiencing some light turbulence in about half an hour, but it's nothing to worry about-"_

"I'm sure that's what the English said about Joan of Arc," Sheldon scoffed.

"Three hours plus with Sheldon in a tiny confined space," Leonard said to Penny in a low voice. "Didn't we learn anything from the train?"

_"-And the attendants will be around soon to deliver your in-flight snack."_

"Well, at least if the plane goes down we'll have died of food poisoning first," the theoretical physicist quipped, pulling a book about the Hadron Collider out of his bag for 'light reading.'

"Somebody pass me the parachute," Howard muttered.

**BBT**

"-Alright, so, Amy and Penny, you'll be sleeping in Missy's room upstairs, first door on the left," Mrs. Cooper said, leading the way into the house. "Leonard, you and Shelly will be sleeping in his old room. Dalton, you'll be in George's room, and Howard and Bernadette will be in the guest room down on this floor."

"Oh, no, that's fine, we'll find a hotel in town-" Howard started to say hurriedly, but Mrs. Cooper cut him off.

"Nonsense; Jesus says to give shelter to the homeless, and that's exactly what I'm gonna do." As the others started to make their way upstairs, she called after them, "Leonard and Penny, there'll be no sinning in this house, you hear?"

"Oh God," Penny mumbled.

"Loves you!" Mary finished, using the infamous Vulcan hearing her son had inherited from her. "Am I understood?"

"Yes ma'am," Leonard answered.

"That goes for you too, Shellybean!"

"We understand, Mrs. Cooper," Amy replied, not embarrassed in the least. Sheldon, on the other hand, quickly hurried upstairs, cheeks reddening just a bit.

"As for you two," Mary said, turning to Howard and Bernadette. They winced visibly, and she gave them a rare smile. "You kids rock it to the moon."

**BBT**

As a treat for her son (or perhaps a reason not to cook that night), Mrs. Cooper bought burgers and Frozen Cokes from the nearest Big Boy. As she passed them out, Leonard hung back, watching the scene in front of him.

It was an interesting sight. Sheldon perked up, and he didn't even quiz his mother on the food before tucking in. Amy, Penny and Bernadette were talking amongst themselves, and Leonard caught the words 'Raj' and 'Alejandra.' Howard was talking to Dalton, and seemed to look like he was showing him how to shape his hands for playing the piano.

Mrs. Cooper sidled up beside Leonard, arms crossed and looking at scene as an art fan might a painting. "Leonard, I'll tell you, being a parent isn't always easy, but there are times when you can't help but smile."

"Sheldon seems happy," Leonard pointed out.

"Oh, he is. I know my boy through and through. When George used to work late on Fridays, I'd bring it home. Used to be my favorite time 'a the week." A nostalgic smile tweaked her lips. "My kids didn't always get along, but on Friday nights, it felt like we were a real family. George Jr.'d be telling jokes, Missy would prattle on about everything and anything, and Shelly… his face'd light up like the bright side'a the moon."

"I didn't know he was that close to his siblings."

"Oh he was, 'specially Missy. He was always so protective of her. He couldn't ever stick up for himself, but he wouldn't stand for anyone pickin' on his sister." She sighed. "He used to be the sweetest little boy… That all changed after George wailed on 'im."

Leonard stopped short. "His dad hit him?"

"Only once," Mary said, mouth tight. "I kicked him out. But Shelly ain't ever been the same since."

"…I never knew."

"Well it was a long time ago, you know how he never goes into things."

"Yeah. I guess." Still, as he watched Sheldon converse with Dalton and Amy, he couldn't help but think that maybe it was time to go into it.

Still, he knew he wasn't the one to try and understand the mind of Sheldon Cooper. He needed a like-minded individual, such as Dalton. Someone who operated on the same frequency as the theoretical physicist.

It didn't take an IQ of a hundred seventy-three to figure out whom.

**BBT**

It was much later that night that Sheldon found himself in the kitchen, warming milk in a pot over the stove.

"Interesting," a voice said from behind him.

He glanced back. "Amy. You're up."

"Obviously." She walked up beside him. "I have always failed to understand the difference between the affects of warm milk and cold milk."

"Warm milk is comforting."

"I see." She fell silent for a moment, and then said, "Are you in need of comfort then?"

"Do I appear as if I require it?"

She looked around the kitchen, considering, and then said matter-of-factly, "Yes."

He gave her a condescending look. "I'm fine." He took the warm milk and poured it into a glass waiting nearby. Placing the pot in the sink, he picked up the glass and sat down at the table.

She sat down beside him. There was a pause, before she said, "This where it happened, isn't it?"

He glanced at her. "How did you guess?"

"You're drinking heated milk in the middle of the night, despite your bedtime having passed hours ago, and what's more is that you've studiously avoided looking in the back corner, the one closest to the back door." She was silent for a second, and then said quietly, "Also, Leonard informed me of what your mother informed him."

"…"

She tried to think of something to say. When she came up with nothing, she simply said, "Sheldon, I'm sorry."

"Why?" he answered, tone not so much curious as dull. "You had no part in it."

She awkwardly placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. For a long moment, neither uttered a word. Then, finally, appearing to be studying the wood grain of the table, he said quietly, "It's for that reason that I refuse to allow Dalton to return to my brother. George may be family, but I have an obligation to Dalton to keep him secure." His jaw was set tight. "I cannot let him be endangered by risky and thoughtless actions."

"Do you think the courts will rule in your favor?"

"I do. However, I won't deny I am somewhat apprehensive."

Seeing how anxious he was, she suggested, "Why don't we endeavor to take your mind off it? Your counterfactual cards are still on the table from dinner. We could relocate to the living room."

"Agreed," he replied, looking relieved by the change in conversation. They both stood and walked through the swing door to the living room, sitting on the couch. As she started to shuffle the deck, he added, "…I want you to know I am grateful you agreed to come here."

"Sheldon, in common human hierarchy systems, I believe we have reached a state where in Dalton's life you provide the paternal figure and I the maternal. In that sense, we have formed what can be considered a 'family.' And to be frank, families are present in each other's times of need." She handed him a card. "You go first."

"Thank you." He read the card, and then said, "In a world where a plague sweeps the United States, killing many and leaving survivors highly emaciated, the prices of what change dramatically, higher or lower, within ten years?"

Amy thought for a long moment, before she said confidently, "College education."

"Incorrect," Sheldon said, standing to straighten the lampshade (as it was bothering him). "The answer is obviously whole milk."

"Defend," she said, standing up as well and crossing her arms.

He sent her a patronizing look. "In a world where a great plague sweeps the United States, leaving survivors highly emaciated, the need for nutrition becomes apparent. As livestock in big cities are highly impractical, the survivors flock to the stores, purchasing whole milk for its high fat content, to restore body mass, as well as for the protein to increase muscle."

"I believe my answer is better," Amy said.

He snorted. "I doubt it. However, you may defend."

"Thank you. In a world where a great plague sweeps the United States, the death rates of the most vulnerable, aka children, increase radically. Within five years, when they head off to college, the costs plunge because there are less students applying."

"That's only assuming there are administrators to instruct them," Sheldon countered.

"Whereas yours counts on the improbability that the plague does not mutate to affect livestock, as such diseases commonly do."

They watched each other for a long moment, before Sheldon said, "…You're a brilliant woman, Amy Farrah Fowler."

"Of course," she replied, bemused. Then, she frowned. "Sheldon, is something wrong?"

"I don't believe so; why?"

"You appear rather flushed."

He paused a moment before answering. "My heart is beating at an increased rate."

"How increased?" she said, brow furrowed.

"Not as much as with the attack; you needn't worry." Yet even as he spoke, he could feel his palms beginning to sweat. What in the world was going on? The tips of his ears felt hot.

Before he knew what was happening, he found his hand on her waist, his body inexplicably leaning towards her.

"What are you doing?" Amy asked.

He stopped, surprised, and then said slowly, "…I don't know." There was a pause, while he considered this, before he continued unsurely, "However, were I to make a hypothesis… I would assume I was about to kiss you."

She frowned, a little confused. "Not that I object, but why?"

"If I had to speculate, I would say that your intellect has, for lack of better words, 'turned me on.'"

"I see… Do you intend to continue?"

It was a pivotal question, and they both knew it. Up to that point, he hadn't initiated any of the more romantic aspects of their relationship aside from asking her to be his girlfriend in the first place. To do this would be a huge step forward, perhaps even a greater one than when he'd first agreed to the kissing and hand-holding section of the agreement.

"I do," Sheldon said finally, tentatively. His stomach felt jumpy, the same way it did when he had to give a speech, but his nervousness was overridden by his natural inclination (not that he would ever call it such) to hold her. "My I make a proposal?"

"No need; the reply is affirmative."

He hesitated another moment, and then leaned in and pressed his lips to hers.

Though he'd kissed her before, this was something else entirely. That bright, rushing sensation had multiplied itself by a thousand- _no,_ he thought, _to the thousandth exponent._ It was that electric feeling that was so unique to Amy, the connection of charged particle to particle as lightning connected to ground.

After a long moment, he pulled back, stunned to silence. Amy seemed to have been rendered to the same state, her eyes wide and cheeks flushed.

"Well, as sweet as this all is, I think y'all should get back in your own _separate_ rooms now," a voice said dryly from behind them.

Both of them whirled to face the tired yet slightly amused Mrs. Cooper.

"M-mom," Sheldon stammered. "We were just-"

"Mm-hm. Yeah. I know exactly what 'you were just,'" she said, twirling her finger at the two of them. "Now move it along. Scoot."

Sheldon took a step back and, giving a polite, southern-gentleman nod, said, "Good evening, Amy Farrah Fowler. I wish you luck in achieving REM levels of deep sleep."

"And you, Sheldon."

As he turned to leave, she said, "Sheldon, concerning what we discussed in the kitchen…"

He froze, but didn't turn around. "Yes?"

"Understand you will always have my support."

Though she couldn't see his face, she noticed how his shoulders relaxed ever so slightly, his hands loosening out of their tense closed state- all indicators, to a neurobiologist, of relief. "Thank you," he said, voice even. Then, he climbed up the stairs to the second floor.

Mary Cooper watched as Amy waited the polite amount of time, and then followed afterward. She let out a small sigh through her nose. "You hold tight to that girl, Shelly. She's somethin' else. Y'both are." And with that, she turned and headed for her own room.

** A/N: Next chapter may not be up for a bit, but it should be the trial for Dalton's custody (and what that entails). Hope to see y'all soon! – Ffcrazy15**


	27. Chapter 27 Resolution

Chapter 27

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory, Charles Darwin's The Origin of Species, the Piano Man or Forrest Gump (which I sort of stole one of the scenes from). I make no money off of this.

**A/N: I decided to rewrite this some. If you don't want to read it, you don't have to; the next chapter should still make sense.**

**BBT**

"Shelly."

He felt the hand on his shoulder but only curled in tighter.

The hand shook again. "Shelly, rise and shine."

With a grimace, he opened his eyes. Mary Cooper looked back at him, smiling. "There y'are, sleepyhead. C'mon, up and at'em."

Sheldon rubbed his eyes and blinked, looking around the room. "What day is it?"

"Monday morning. Everyone else's been up for a while."

Now he was awake. "Today's the day of the trial."

"Mm-hm."

_Silence._

She sighed. "Shelly, about what happened last night… I wanna know what you're planning on doin'?"

"I'm afraid I don't understand."

"I want you to be honest with me: what exactly are your intentions with Miss Fowler?"

Sheldon blinked. "My 'intentions?'"

"Yes. What is it you're seeking to get out of this relationship?"

He frowned slightly, thinking. "I'm… not exactly sure. I suppose I want a companion, someone I can converse with and get a like-minded response."

"Is that all?"

He looked thunderstruck. Slowly, as if he was thinking about it for the first time, he said, "…No. But I can't figure out what else there could be."

"You can't," Mary said, doubtful.

"Mother, I am not a child; I understand what you're implying." He fell silent again for a moment, pondering the question. "…But I have a great deal of respect for Amy, and I don't desire to put her in harm's way, by any action."

His mother smiled. "That's what I like to hear.

"I would assume so." He sat up and climbed out of bed, heading for his duffle bag.

"Shelly, can I ask you something?"

"You just did."

"I'll take that as a yes." She paused for a moment, collecting her thoughts, and then said, "What do you think about Amy and Dalton?"

He stopped, startled. "In what way?"

"Don't play games with me; you know as well as I do that he's taken to the girl. She's taken to him as well; almost like a mother…" She trailed off, hoping he'd take the hint.

_Silence. _

"Shelly?"

Still nothing.

"Shellybean, talk to me. I'm your mom; if you can't tell me what you're thinking, who can you?"

Sheldon paused, a dress shirt in hand. Slowly, he turned to face her, face tight with worry. "Mom, what if I lose him?"

Mary sighed. "Shellybean, sit down." He did, sitting beside her on the bed. She took his hand in hers. "Do you know what I did the day you left for college?"

"No," he said, frowning in confusion.

"I cried for three hours straight."

He stared at her, stunned. "Mom-"

"Don't you say a word Shelly, I ain't done yet." She brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes, and he noticed randomly that it was streaked with gray. "I cried because I thought I was losing my baby boy. Every night I prayed to Jesus to bring you back home because I missed you. But," she smoothed back his hair with a smile, "I also knew that my brave little boy could handle anything the world through at him."

"I fail to see how this helps me."

"Shellybean, the hardest lesson any parent learns is that they can't protect their kid from everything. There's a lotta evil in this world, and some of it's gonna bite ya. But you gotta trust that everything's gonna be okay."

"I don't think I can do that."

"Well, if you can't trust what's up there," she said, pointing at the ceiling, "Then trust what's in here." She touched that same finger to his heart, and then stood up. "Now go eat your breakfast. We've got a big day ahead of us."

"Of course. I'll get dressed afterwards." He put the shirt down and left.

She watched him disappear through the door out into the hall, and let out a sigh through her nose. Glancing over at his dresser, her eyes caught sight of a framed picture. She walked over and picked it up.

It was a picture of George, Missy and Sheldon as children, all wearing Santa hats and sitting in their living room. George was holding a gift in his hands while Sheldon looked on hopefully, waiting for his big brother to open his gift.

_"Wow, Mom, look what Smelly got me!"_

_ "I figured you'd like a bell to enhance your biking experience," said Sheldon, in all his seven-year-old pride. "They're common in movies and sitcoms."_

_ "Listen!" Brrring! Brrrring!_

Mary clutched the picture to her heart and closed her eyes. After a long moment, she put the picture down and left the room, trying her best to forget about a time when everything seemed perfect.

**BBT**

Sheldon was just putting his bowl of oatmeal in the sink when Bernadette pulled her suitcase into the room with a scowl, Howard in tow.

Leonard looked over from where he was reading the paper. "Something wrong?"

"I just had a long argument with Sheldon's mother on evolution," Bernadette said, huffing.

"Long being a relative term," Howard added. "It ended pretty quickly after she called her a rosary rattler, so Bernadette took hers out and handed it to her."

"My apologies; I should have warned you," Sheldon said. "My mother's a devout fundamentalist. When it comes to teaching her evolution, you'd have better luck handing The Origin of Species to a chimp."

"That would've been nice to know ten minutes ago," the biologist sighed.

"Indeed. If I were you, I would refrain from mentioning Fr. Georges Lemaître's Big Bang theory if you don't want her reciting Genesis for the next two hours."

"Okay," Bernadette said with a sigh. "I need to get dressed anyway."

"Yeah, me too," Howard agreed. "See you guys in a bit."

Everyone else finished up their breakfast and, one by one, left the dining room, until it was just Sheldon and Dalton left sitting alone at the table.

The tension in the air was practically physical. Sheldon leafed through the paper, trying to find an excuse not to talk.

"There's nothing good in there; I've already looked through," Dalton said.

"I see." He put it down.

More silence.

"…How did you sleep?" Sheldon said finally.

Dalton shrugged. "Okay, I guess…"

"You guess?"

The seven-year-old cringed visibly, and Sheldon instantly regretted asking the question. "However, that's irrelevant, you don't-"

"What if you don't win?"

Sheldon stopped short. "If I don't win?"

"Yes."

He considered this, and then answered honestly, "Then you will stay here and live with your father." His face twitched.

"My father." The way he said them, it looked like he'd only just heard the words. And then, Dr. Sheldon Cooper, Ph.D. understood: for every emotion he was currently experiencing (Kohlinar had failed him for the umpteenth time these past three months), it was doubly hard on Dalton, because one way or another, by day's end he would have lost a dad.

"Yes." He fell silent for a moment, and then said, "Dalton, do you want the truth?"

"Always."

"I don't know what will happen," Sheldon said honestly. "I haven't even the slightest inkling. But if you do go back to live with my brother, I won't be distant as I was in the past. I failed you as an uncle, and for that I apologize."

Dalton said nothing for a moment, and then got out of his chair and hugged Sheldon tightly.

Stunned, the physicist hugged him back. He had never been so grateful and so cursed with his eidetic memory ever before, because he knew he never would- never _could-_ forget this moment right now.

After a moment, the boy pulled away. "I guess I should go get dressed now," he said, not meeting Sheldon's eye.

"I concur." He watched as the seven year old started up the stairs. As Dalton reached the top, he said, "Wait."

Dalton looked over, surprised.

For a moment, the physicist could feel the words on the tip of his tongue. It would be so easy to find out. A simple enough question, _who would you pick?_

But he couldn't do that to him. Couldn't. Maybe Sheldon Cooper wasn't always the most socially aware, but he was not one for cruelty, and to force a seven year old boy to choose between him and his birthfather was nothing short of that.

So instead, he hesitated, and then said, "Wear something nice."

Dalton nodded, and then disappeared around the corner.

**BBT**

The taxi dropped them off in front of the child custody building. The three of them stood in front of the doors for a moment, before Sheldon said, "Well, we won't get anything completed while standing out here."

Dalton gave a nervous looking nod, and then, taking the initiative, opened the doors and walked inside.

Sheldon was just about to follow Amy stopped him. "Sheldon, are you alright?"

He swallowed, didn't meet her eyes. "Yes. Yes, of course. I'm fine."

"Are you? You're pale, shaking and you haven't once looked at me since we left your mother's dwelling."

"I-" He swallowed again, blinking erratically. His hands twitched in multiples of seven.

Before he could finish, she embraced him. Shocked, he gingerly hugged her back. "Amy-"

"I know you're experiencing symptoms of great distress," she said, pulling away. "It's a perfectly normal reaction, considering the circumstances."

"I don't think I'm capable of this."

"Sheldon, I'm as afraid as you. But this isn't just about us."

Sheldon nodded, unable to make a sound.

"Would you like me to hold your hand upon entering?"

Another nod. She gripped his hand tightly with her own, and lead them both into the building.

Dalton was waiting up by the front desk. They walked up to him, and Amy said, "Excuse me, could you point me to Dr. James Havison's office?"

"Right down that way, sugar," The receptionist said, nodding down the hall.

"Thank you." They started off down the hall. As they rounded one of the corners, Sheldon stopped short.

George looked back, defiant, angry. His eyes were bloodshot and ringed with shadows; his face appeared sleepless and taught.

Dalton, too, had stopped, looking between the two of them, uncle and father. He seemed ready to cry.

Amy reached out and put a gentle hand on his shoulder, pulling him to them. She took another glance at George, who had looked away, and then said in a low voice to Sheldon, "He appears to be going through signs of fresh withdrawal. This should have been happening months ago. This isn't good."

He nodded. "I agree," he said. What he didn't tell her was that she was right; this wasn't about them anymore. Now he knew for certain that he couldn't allow Dalton to leave with George.

No. Not couldn't. He wouldn't.

**BBT**

"-I have nearly reached my decision. However, I would like to talk to Dalton one last time."

"Naturally," Sheldon agreed. George nodded, tight-faced.

They exited into the hall, where Dalton was waiting. He didn't look at either of them, but instead followed the white-haired evaluator back into the office. The door closed. Amy, who was waiting in a chair on the side, stood up. Without saying a word, she glanced down at Sheldon's hand. He gave a tight nod, and she took it. George stood alone on the other side of the door, not looking at his brother.

From behind the wood there came murmurs of sound.

"-Dalton, I'm just going to ask you a few questions, okay?"

"Okay."

"How have you found living with Dr. Cooper?"

"It's interesting. His friends are all very smart."

"His 'friends?'"

"Yes. There's Leonard, Penny, Raj, Alejandra, Howard, Bernadette and Amy. They're all scientist, except for Penny, and she's going to be a teacher."

"I see." _Pause, scribbling sound. _"I talked to Dr. Cooper's girlfriend earlier today, Amy Farrah Fowler. What do you think of her?"

"I like her a lot. She's a very kind woman; very smart, too. Not the best singer, though."

The evaluator chuckled. "You're a very well-spoken young man."

"Thank you."

_Pause._ "Dalton, I'm going to ask you something now, something I want you to answer as honestly as you can, do you understand me?"

"Yes."

"If you had the choice, who would you choose to go live with?"

_Silence._ "I-I think…" He trailed off.

"I'm terribly sorry to put you on the spot like this, but it's very important."

There was another long, long silence, before Dalton said quietly, "…I love my father very much. He raised me. He showed me how to throw a football and fix a tire." _Pause._ "…But I love Uncle Sheldon, too. And… I think… it'd be better if I stayed with him."

Beside him, Sheldon saw George slide to the floor.

"I see." _Pause, scribble._ "Thank you, Dalton. That took a lot of courage." There was the sound of a chair squeaking, and then the door opened. The evaluator ushered Dalton out, and Amy quickly let go of Sheldon's hand to take Dalton's.

George and Sheldon both followed the evaluator back into the room. The doors closed behind them as they each took a seat.

"Dr. and Mr. Cooper, I have reviewed and interviewed both of you today, as well as Dalton and your significant others. While the… psychological screening was a bit interesting," The evaluator shot a glance at Sheldon, "I have reached my conclusion." He took off his glasses, folding them and putting them on the desk. "… It is never an easy thing to decide how to handle one of these situations. However, a child deserves to live in an environment where they feel secure. Mr. George Cooper, your record in the past three months has, while improved of your previous, not met the standards where I believe a child would be safe. In Dalton's best interest, I have decided to award custody to Dr. Sheldon Cooper."

Sheldon sat frozen in his seat, stunned. Beside him, George let out a small, strangled noise.

"Mr. George Cooper, your visitation rights are as follows: Dalton will spend a total of three weeks with you during the year, one during spring vacation, three days during labor day weekend, and a week and a half over each summer, starting the coming labor day in the fall."

"No," George whispered, "No, you can't do this to me, you can't-"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Cooper, but I must do what's right for the child, and your record speaks for itself. This matter is closed." He stood and straightened the papers, then disappeared into the back office.

Both Coopers stood slowly. Sheldon walked numbly out of the office into the hall. Amy and Dalton looked at him expectantly, worriedly.

Before he knew what was happening, he had kneeled down and pulled Dalton into a bear hug.

He felt a presence behind let go of him, standing and turning around.

George Jr. glared at him, teeth clenched and a look so full of hate twisting his face that Sheldon stepped back, instinctively putting Dalton behind. It was an expression reminiscent of bullies and jerks and and fathers who called their sons freaks.

For a moment, George looked as if he were about to scream at Sheldon, or hit him, or do _something,_ but then he turned abruptly and walked out the door.

Dalton looked up at him, clearly wanting to hear what he already suspected confirmed. Sheldon, never good with emotions, said the first relative thing that came to mind.

"Let's go home."

**BBT**

The Cooper house was warm and full of conversation that night. Dalton was playing _The Piano Man_ on the old upright while Mrs. Cooper washed the plates. Howard and Bernadette were sitting at the table, finishing dinner.

"Did you know that _The Piano Man _was Billy Joel's first hit song?" Sheldon commented.

"Yes," everyone replied, Leonard, Penny and Mrs. Cooper rolling their eyes.

"Shelly, sweetie, why don't you an' yer friends go for nice evening walk, huh?" Mrs. Cooper said, working on a particularly stubborn pasta stain.

"Whatever for?" her son responded, confused.

"Because I'm tired and you clearly need to burn off yer jitters from this mornin'."

Sheldon frowned but conceded. "I suppose that's logical." He stood and offered Amy a hand, who took it. The four adults headed for the door.

"Can I come too?" Dalton said, from over by the piano.

Sheldon blinked, and then looked at Leonard, nonplussed. The experimental physicist grinned and mouthed back, _Payback's a bitch, isn't it?_

"Leonard, watch your mouth," Mrs. Cooper said, without even turning around.

Leonard jumped slightly, but got over it. He jerked his head towards Dalton, and Sheldon turned towards the boy. "Of course you may come."

"Thanks! I'll go get my jacket!" He hurried off towards his room.

Sheldon turned to see his friend with his arms crossed. "What?"

"You were supposed to tell him no!"

Sheldon mirrored him and crossed his own arms. "I just received affirmation today that I can keep him as my ward; I'd think you'd show a little more sympathy."

Leonard immediately felt guilty. "Okay, okay… The kid can come with."

"Thank you."

At that moment Dalton returned, so they all quickly shut up. "Bernadette, I'll get your coat-" Howard started, but Mrs. Cooper cut him off.

"Uh-uh. I want a word with her," she said, putting the last plate on the shelf.

"Um… okay, I guess," Howard said. "So I'll just go-"

"No, I think you oughta be here for this," the Texan woman said with a grin that could be either described as devious or sweet, depending on one's perception. "We're gonna be talkin' about a few things that she'll need to know in about, oh, six months, and I think you might wanna be present."

Howard's eyes went wide, and he looked a little faint, but he knew he didn't have the strength to do battle with Mrs. Cooper. So instead, he said, "Yeah, okay. See you guys soon."

"Good luck," Leonard said with an evil grin as they left.

It was a pleasant night, especially for East Texas. Cool night air tinged with the smell of the desert blew past in a slight breeze, making the branches in the trees wave slightly. Chirping crickets had replaced the sounds of buzzing cicadas, and a waxing gibbous moon shone overhead.

Amy and Dalton started their own conversation, while Penny and Leonard ended up in front, talking between themselves about something mundane and leading the way. Sheldon didn't really pay much attention to where they were going; he was content to half-listen to Amy and Dalton, slightly tired yet content (whether the drowsiness was from the long day or the walk, he couldn't tell).

It had been maybe five minutes into the walk when he stopped suddenly. The others continued on for a few moments, before Amy noticed his absence and turned around. The others followed suit.

Sheldon stared at a gate- a gate, she realized, that lead into a graveyard behind an old Baptist church. As she watched, he walked inside the gate, disappearing into the shadows.

Bewildered, she glanced back at the others. They seemed as confused as she, so she took the lead and followed after him. "Sheldon?" she called out, scanning the graveyard. "Shel-"

She stopped, froze. Sheldon was standing stalk-still in front of a grave. He looked at the headstone, silent. For a long moment, nobody spoke, before they heard, "Dalton, come here."

The boy looked around, and then, slowly, walked forward beside him. He hesitated, and then asked, "Is… that Grandpa George?"

Sheldon nodded.

_Silence._

"…The last time I saw him, he was in the hospital. His liver had finally failed him, from the years and years of constant intoxication. He was… so thin, and hooked up to all the feeding and intravenous tubes. He didn't look at all like the father I remembered."

Nobody dared to say a word. Sheldon was speaking very slowly, so unlike his usual fast-paced, high way of talking.

"I hadn't talked to him in nearly four years, not since I was twelve. I flew eleven hours to see him. I didn't know what to say." He stared dully at the stone, unseeing. "It didn't really matter, I suppose. He took care of that issue. Do you know what he said to me?" He didn't wait for an answer. "He looked me right in the eyes and said, 'What are you doing here?'"

Penny pressed a hand to her mouth.

"'What are you doing here?'" Sheldon continued, his face twitching, breath hitching. "I'm a genius. Brilliant. I can understand the world, unravel the mysteries of the universe. But I couldn't answer his question.

"'Don't you know you're the one who put me here?' he said. 'George, stop.'" He shook his head. "As if he ever listened to my mother. 'No, Mary, he should know. He should know what he's done to his own father.' 'Dad,'" Sheldon imitated himself, voice shaking, "'Dad, I don't understand.' He laughed, you know. Said, 'That's a new one. The genius can't understand.'"

Dalton looked at his uncle, stunned. Sheldon's face was twisted with remorse and guilt. "'I never asked for you,' he told me. 'George, stop it!' 'Never. Three normal kids, sons I could teach football to, maybe even a girl. But not some sort of- of freak of nature.' 'Shelly, he doesn't mean it-' 'Like hell I don't, Mary! You drove me to this, kid, you get that? You ripped this family apart. You ruined _everything.'"_ Sheldon shook his head, tears dripping down his cheeks. "I never wanted that," he said to the headstone, as if he'd forgotten all about the others. "I- I didn't know. I never meant to hurt you."

For a long moment, silence filled the graveyard, before suddenly Amy walked forward. She looked up at his face, his grief-stricken expression, and then took his hand.

He looked down, surprised, but before he could say anything, Dalton took the other. Leonard came up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder, and Penny did the same.

Sheldon looked around at all of them, stunned. He hadn't expected them to offer comfort- he didn't even know if he'd expected them to care. And yet, they had proven him wrong. His friends- _no,_ he realized, _his family_ cared about him.

He looked at the headstone again, and then down at Dalton. "Dalton, I love your father," he said quietly, though his voice was stronger, less unsteady. "He's my family. I grew up with him. But as much as I care for my brother, I love my son even more."

Dalton looked up, stunned. No one said anything for a long moment, before Amy broke the silence. "Let's go," she said softly.

"Agreed," Sheldon said with one last shaky breath and a nod. And with that, the five of them turned and left the graveyard.


	28. Chapter 28 The Logical Conclusion

Chapter 28

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory or Friends (where I got the game from). I make no money off of this.

**BTW, this chapter is in honor of Mayim Bialik, who for anyone who does not know was in a car crash on the 15****th**** of August. Her left hand was badly injured, but she is still working and came back for the sixth season. She is one tough woman. God bless, Mayim.**

**Also, I've re-edited the last chapter. If you all want to read it, you can. If not, you don't have to; you'll still get the point of this one.**

**BBT**

"-So do you like the house?"

"Yeah, I love it," Bernadette said, looking around the small yet homey room. The little rental cottage was perfect for a week in England. They sat at the little table in the middle of the kitchen, each holding a small glass of 'fake wine' (for the sake of the baby).

"Great; so we can head to London tomorrow if you want, or-"

"Oh!"

He stopped, startled. "What is it?"

"I don't know," she said, frowning. "Maybe it was just something I- Oh!" She pressed a hand to her belly.

"Is it the baby?" Howard said with worry, moving closer.

"I think so. I can feel her moving."

He pressed a hand to her stomach. "I can't feel anything."

"It's like a little flutter, right here," She touched a certain place on her bump. "Oh, Howie, it's the most wonderful feeling…" She got that dreamy sort of smile of hers, the one that always made Howard's transient idiopathic arrhythmia act up (or maybe his heart was just skipping a beat; who knew?) "Like a little goldfish swimming inside."

"A goldfish, huh?" he said, laughing a little. "I like that."

"So do I."

"To Ruth, then," he said, chiming their glasses. "Our little goldfish."

**BBT**

**(Three weeks later)**

"So Bernadette, how was the honeymoon?" Penny said, sitting down beside Amy on the couch.

"It was wonderful," Bernadette sighed. "We saw London and Rome and Berlin, and he even came with me to the grotto of Bernadette, in France." She smiled, and then that smile turned mischievous. "And then he took me to Paris, if you know what I mean."

"Ooh, romantic," Penny said. "God, I love France."

"Did you see the catacombs or Arche de Triomphe?" Amy asked.

"Oh, um, no, we pretty much just saw the Eifel Tower and stuff…"

The neurobiologist shrugged. "Well, to each her own."

"Do you speak any French?" Alejandra asked.

"No; thank God Howie was with me, or I would've been so lost…"

"So," Penny said, standing up. "What are you doing tonight, girl?"

Bernadette frowned. "I don't know. We've already unpacked, and there's not much to do… why?"

"Well if you're not too tired, I was thinking we could take the guys out for a little dancing?" she gave her a hopeful grin.

"You know, that sounds great!" Bernadette agreed.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, Howie and I spent so much time alone on the honeymoon; I think it'd be good to spend some time with friends, you know?"

"Totally. We can all get together at six, and-"

"Actually, Penny, I'm a little tired myself," Alejandra confessed. "I don't think I'll go with."

"Why don't you and Rajesh watch Dalton for the evening?" Amy suggested.

"You know, that sounds… really nice," Alejandra said, surprised.

"Girls, text your men," Penny said with an evil grin. "It's time to have some fun!"

**BBT**

"This isn't any fun."

Sheldon glanced at her from his seat at the table. "Preaching to the choir, Amy."

The neurobiologist watched the two other couples shake it on the dance floor, rubbing her temples (the volume of the music was giving her a headache). "After what happened last time, I elected not to drink. Now I remember why I found this boring."

"Would you like to play counterfactuals?" he suggested.

"It'd be highly impractical with this level of noise."

"Agreed." They sat in silence (well, silent being a relative term), before he said, "Amy, would you like to go somewhere we could have, as you put it, 'fun?'"

She raised an eyebrow. "I'm assuming you're not making a sexual euphemism."

He gave her a look. "Don't be absurd. There is an science museum in walking distance from here, and it isn't quite dark yet. If we left now, we could make it there before the sun goes down."

"You dislike museums; you informed me that you find them tedious."

"Correct. However, you enjoy them, and to be frank I have yet to find an activity more tedious than this. And I once made two hundred seventy-four 'Penny Blossoms' in eight successive hours."

"Do I want to know?"

"You do not. Shall we go?"

She considered this. "We shall." As they stood to leave, she said, "Don't you think our companions might notice our absence?"

"Bernadette may. To be blunt, the other three are likely too drunk to care."

"And if they are not?"

He considered this. "The point is moot."

"Why?"

"By that time, we will be three blocks away."

"Agreed." They hurried out the door. As they walked down the sidewalk, she said, "I like your thinking, Sheldon."

"I should certainly hope so."

**BBT**

"Have you said your prayers?" Alejandra asked.

"Yes."

"Brushed your teeth?" Raj added.

"Yes."

"Then it's time for bed," the professor said firmly.

Dalton grumbled, but did as told, rubbing his eyes and climbing under the covers. As she turned out the lights, he said, "Could you sing to me?"

She turned, surprised, and then said, "Of course." She walked back and knelt beside the bed. "What would you like me to sing?"

He shrugged. "Anything."

She thought back. _Anything…_ "I know a lullaby. Would you like that?" He nodded, so she started to sing the tune softly.

_"A la nanita nana,_

_ Nanita ella, nanita ella._

Mi Jesús tiene suñeo;

_ Bendito sea, bendito sea."_

Dalton's eyes fluttered closed, face going soft and innocent. To Raj, who was still standing in the doorway, he couldn't help but remember his mother, how she used to sing him to sleep.

_ "Come; let's sing a little lullaby_

_ A little lullaby, a little lullaby;_

_ My baby Jesus is sleepy;_

_ Blessed be; blessed be."_

She hummed a little and then, upon seeing that the was asleep, stood up. "Good night, little genius," she said with a small smile, pulling the covers around him.

She and Raj both left the room, he closing the door behind him. "What did you sing?" he asked, as they both walked over and sat down on the couch.

"A Christmas carol. My mamá sang it to me as a girl."

"It's beautiful."

Her dark eyes shone with pride. "You think so?"

"I do. It reminds me of the lullabies my mother used to sing."

She smiled. "Thank you, Rajesh. That means a lot to me."

He smiled back. How could he not? After all, the most beautiful girl in the world was his.

**BBT**

"-So obviously dumbed down for the masses."

"Don't be so condescending, Sheldon; it takes a great deal of work to downsize great scientific discoveries for the common man. Besides, look there." Amy nodded towards a girl of about ten, who seemed fascinated by the whole exhibit (the other children her age nearby- perhaps friends or siblings- were more interested in their snacks than science). "At her age, you would have loved this."

"Very true. Perhaps she is a young genius in the making."

Amy spotted an exhibit on the human brain. "Sheldon, I would like to go over there."

"Then go."

She gave him a look. "I would like you to accompany me."

He gave an exasperated sigh, but conceded. "I suppose it couldn't do me any harm."

"No it couldn't." They walked over to the exhibit, where a young girl was examining a preserved human brain. Another about her age, with glasses, popped her bubblegum. "C'mon Sarah; mom's waiting."

As the two girls left, Amy took their place, studying the preserved brain with a look of contentment gracing her face. "I remember the first time I ever visited a brain exhibit. I was nine."

"Amy, I have known you for approximately two years now, and I still fail to see why brains interest you so much."

"The brain is the only receptor we have of the world around us," Amy explained, never removing her eyes from the display. "Much of what exists today would not be without it. If you'll forgive me for saying so, I think the human brain is more complex than even the mysteries of the universe."

Sheldon crossed his arms. "Defend."

She shrugged. "The universe is ordered. It has always followed its laws, and it seems it always will. But the mind of a person is another matter. It changes direction constantly. I want to know how and why."

He thought about this for a moment. "Do you believe that there are some mindsets that do not change?"

"I do. However, those seem to be rare and difficult to acquire."

"I see." He looked back at the brain, trying to see it how Amy did, as a mysterious piece of art. He still couldn't quite understand it.

They spent an hour or so in the museum, and then walked back to the club. As he was about to walk inside, she said, "Would you like me to drive you home?"

"No, that'd be impractical. I'll ride home with Leonard."

"Alright. Have a good evening."

"And you." As she turned to go to her car, he said, "Amy, a moment."

She glanced back. "Yes?"

He shuffled his feet. "Generally a boyfriend will give his girlfriend a kiss goodnight. I feel it may be appropriate here."

She blinked, surprised, and then nodded. "Certainly. You have my permission."

"Very well." He hesitated a moment, and then gave her a soft peck on the cheek. Pulling away, he straightened up, blushing slightly. "Well. Good night, Amy Farrah Fowler."

"Good night, Sheldon." She unlocked her car and climbed in.

As she drove away, he turned and walked back inside the club. He saw Howard grinning at Bernadette as they danced, and Leonard and Penny kissing at their table.

"Unchanging mindsets," he murmured. Then, he shook his head. "What a cloying lot of nonsense. If I ever want to win that Nobel Prize, I'll have to get my head screwed on straight."

**BBT**

"So… where did you and Amy go?" Leonard commented as Sheldon sat down beside him on the couch.

"Whatever do you mean? We were there the whole entire time."

Leonard gave him a look. "You're a really bad liar."

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "Fine. We 'ditched' and went to a science museum."

Leonard snorted. "You're the only person I know that ditches fun to go learn."

"And I would expect more the same from you."

"Hey, I thought you don't like museums?" the experimental physicist pointed out.

"I don't. However, Amy does."

"So you just went?" he said, raising a dubious eyebrow. "Just like that?"

Sheldon looked at him, surprised. "Of course. It wasn't as if I was having any of your so-called 'fun' with the rest of you anyway."

Leonard thought for a moment, and then said, "Sheldon, can we play a little game?"

"A game? I like games," Sheldon said with an happy smile.

"Good…" Leonard thought a moment. "Okay, I'm going to give you two options. Just answer whatever comes to mind as fast as you can. Don't think about it."

Sheldon frowned. "A challenge… I like it. Alright, as the saying goes, 'shoot.'"

"Okay. Close your eyes." He did so. "Kirk or Picard?"

"Picard."

"Yoo-hoo or Strawberry Quick?"

"Yoo-hoo."

"Nobel Prize or Amy?"

"Amy." Sheldon's eyes flew open, and he looked at Leonard, shocked.

Leonard only grinned in response.

"You- you tricked me!" Sheldon cried.

"Nope. You answered that fair and square."

"I- I-"

"Sheldon, let me ask you something," Leonard said adjusting his glasses. "Do you love Amy?"

Sheldon stopped his stuttering, surprised. "…I suppose I never really considered it before."

"Well, you've got time. Consider it now."

Sheldon looked away, pondering the question. After a few moments, his frown deepened.

"Sheldon?"

"I'm taking a shower," the taller physicist declared, standing up and heading for the bathroom.

"You're going to have to own up to it sooner or later!" Leonard called after him

The door slammed shut.

…

Under the hot water, Sheldon scrubbed his hair vigorously. "Do I love her, what I silly question!"

"Then why don't you have an answer?"

He jumped slightly and looked down. Mini-Spock was floating in midair with his arms crossed.

"Mini-Spock! What are you doing here?"

"I'm a figment of your imagination, Dr. Cooper. I exist wherever you do. You are currently in the shower, so logically I am in the shower, as well."

"Fascinating," Sheldon said. Then, he frowned. "Well if you're only a figment of my imagination, then be gone! Shoo!"

Mini-Spock didn't budge.

"Why aren't you leaving?"

"Because I am the visual manifestation of an issue that's bothering you."

"What issue?"

"The issue of whether you are not in love with Amy Farrah Fowler. It's time you came to a conclusion on this matter."

"…I suppose you're right," Sheldon grumbled.

"Of course I am. Now: what is the definition of love?"

Sheldon pondered this for a moment. "According to the most reasonable answers, to love is to act on what is best for another person, an opinion supported by Plato, Aquinas and Aristotle."

"Correct. Now: do you believe that Amy Farrah Fowler has exemplified this virtue? That is to say, does she love you?"

Again, he thought. "Well… she enjoys being around me; she acts as a maternal figure towards Dalton, even though she isn't bound to…" His mind recalled the graveyard, how she was the first to take his hand. "And she has yet to abandon me in a time of need. So… yes. That is the logical conclusion."

"Do you believe you reciprocate those feelings?"

Sheldon looked bewildered. "Reciprocate? What a ridiculous-"

"Ridiculous is an adjective, not an answer, Dr. Cooper. Look at the facts of your relationship. What parts of it compare to Amy Farrah Fowler's devotion to you?"

Sheldon blinked, and then answered, "I enjoy being with her, I find myself unable to cease thinking about her…"

"And?"

Sheldon looked at the shower curtain, confused. Slowly yet firmly, he said, "And I would do anything to prevent harm from befalling her. But Mini-Spock, what does that mean?" He looked back over.

Mini-Spock was gone.

"Well, you're a lot of help," Sheldon grumbled, but he knew why the apparition had disappeared. The only reason for him to have left were if Sheldon had come to the only logical conclusion.

And whether or not he wished to admit it to himself, he had.

**A/N: For anyone who didn't catch it at the top, I did re-edit the last chapter. If you want to read it, you can; if not, you should still be able to understand the story.**


	29. Chapter 29 To Will the Good of Another

Chapter 29

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory, Total Recall, Bourne Legacy, The Words, or the movie Madame Curie. I thank MsLipsum for uploading the youtube video of it at  www. youtube watch?v=Q1OeIuPxPcM.

**Puddingninja- Wha? That's STILL in there? Aw, I'm sorry… I hate merging documents. -_-**

**BBT**

"Hey, Dumbass."

She expected a response to her comment, made as she passed Dr. Cooper sitting on the stairs. When none was received, Leslie turned around, surprised.

She walked back over to him and crossed her arms. "Hey, I'm talking to you!"

Still nothing.

She frowned. "Are you deaf or just stupid?"

He glanced up at her, irritated. "Not now, Winkle. I'm busy."

"With?"

"With none of your business."

She studied his face. It looked tired and sort of confused, a strange look on Dr. Sheldon Cooper. "Something bothering you?" she said, with an expression that on Leslie Winkle might be called concern.

He gave her another annoyed look but didn't answer.

Leslie didn't care about many people. She was a sharp-tongued loner that really didn't give a damn. But her rivalry with Sheldon was something of a treasured habit, and taking the weirdo down a notch could cheer her right up even on the worst of days. Anything that got in the way of that had to be removed.

"Alright, what's up?" she said, sitting down beside him on the stairs.

He gave her a look. "Please. As if I'd fall for that."

"Look Dumbass, I don't play psychiatrist on a regular basis. So take advantage of it before I make you regret it."

He scowled, but complied. "_Fine…"_ He thought a moment. "You know Amy Farrah Fowler."

"Your girlfriend with the ugly skirts? Yeah."

He looked affronted. "I happen to find Amy to have very good taste and-"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Get to the point."

Sheldon said nothing for a moment, and then said slowly, "…I think I may be in love with her."

Leslie groaned inwardly. _Try to be a good person just once and this is what it gets you._ "So?"

He gave her a look. "_So,_ I'm at a loss of what to do about it!"

"And you think _I _can help you?"

"I didn't ask for your assistance, Winkle." _Pause. _"But I'm sure you have more experience in this field than I do."

She rolled her eyes. "Okay, listen and listen good, because I'm only gonna say this once: when Kripke first asked me out-"

"You're seeing _Kripke?"_

She shrugged. "What can I say? It's messed up but it works. Oh, and if you tell anyone I'll give you a wedgie that makes your home state look Canadian."

"Understood."

"Anyway, when he first asked me out, he sent a lot of his friends to do the job for him." Leslie snorted. "I turned them down, obviously. Took the dweeb four times to realize he had to ask me in person."

Sheldon still looked confused. "I'm sorry, I fail to see your point."

"My _point,_ Dumbass, is that no girl likes a coward. Grow a pair and do something before you lose her." She stood up and started back down the hall.

"Winkle!" Sheldon called.

She stopped, glanced over her shoulder. "Yeah, what?"

He hesitated a moment, and then offered a wary, "…Thank you."

She smirked. "No problem… Cooper." And with that, she walked away.

**BBT**

"I'm going to go pick up Dalton from his playdate," Sheldon said, walking through the living room.

"You can't drive," Leonard commented.

"No, but I can take a bus."

"Alright. Later."

The door closed. Leonard glanced around, and then stood up. He walked over to his coat and reached into the pocket. A moment later, he pulled out a small velvet box.

He still couldn't believe he was going to go through with this. After time and time being rejected, it was most certainly asking for trouble. And yet...

And yet, he wanted this. More than anything.

_Knock-knock-knock. _"Leonard."

Leonard jumped. "Dammit, why is he back?"

_Knock-knock-knock. _"Leonard."

"Okay, um, just hide the ring. Right. Hide it." Helooked around desperately, trying to figure out a hiding place.

_Knock-knock-knock. _"Leonard."

"What is it, Sheldon?" His eyes alighted on the Green Lantern, and he hurried over to it.

"I left my wallet on the table and can't seem to find my key; could you let me in?"

"Um, just a minute!" He reached for the latch on the back.

"Oh, never mind, I found it!"

At the exact same moment Sheldon opened the door, Leonard pulled open the Green Lantern figurine, and a small velvet box tumbled out, matching in color and size to the one in his hand.

Leonard picked it up off the ground, and then turned to Sheldon, stunned. "Is this…?"

"It's mine," Sheldon said sharply. "Give it back."

"You're proposing to Amy!" Leonard said gleefully.

"No I'm not," he said instantly. He really was an appalling liar.

"Oh, so this diamond ring's for your mother?"

"…"

"I don't believe it! My best friend is proposing!"

"Well, so is mine." Sheldon snatched the ring box out of his hands. "And I'll thank you kindly to be a bit more careful with my possessions."

"Aw c'mon, let me see it!" He made a grab at the box.

"Let me see yours _first,_" Sheldon said snippily.

Leonard opened his box, revealing a white-gold ring, with a heart cut diamond in the center and two small oval ones flanking it. "See, look, I did. Now show me!"

Sheldon glared at him for a moment, and then opened the box. Inside was a simple gold ring with a single princess-cut diamond. Around the inside, Leonard saw some writing and read it aloud. "_'To love is to will the good of another.'_ Nice; did you come up with that yourself?"

"Of course not; it's a quotation based on Aristotle's philosophies," Sheldon answered, looking rather self-conscious.

Leonard frowned for a moment, thinking, and then said, "Sheldon, what brought this up?"  
His friend blinked. "I beg your pardon?"

"Why are you proposing? Is it because of what I said last night?"

"Don't flatter yourself," Sheldon said with a snort, closing the box. "Well, that's not entirely true. What you said was a part of my decision, but not as large a one as you may think."  
"Then what? How'd this even enter your head?"

"Leslie Winkle suggested I, as she put it, 'grow a pair' and do something about this relationship."

"So you're doing this all because of a suggestion from _Leslie Winkle?"_ Leonard said, incredulous.

"Don't be ridiculous."

"Then why?"

Sheldon pondered this for a moment, though it seemed to Leonard that he was more trying to figure out how to relay his thoughts than to come up with them. Finally, he said, "Leonard, what if something happens to me? Or to her? For I all I know, tomorrow I may fall victim to another heart attack."

"What does that have to do with it?"

"I don't have the time to sit and wait for something to happen. I am not a fool, Leonard; I know that I could search the planet and never find someone comparable to Amy Farrah Fowler. She is exceptionally brilliant, she has already proven herself to be a superb maternal figure towards Dalton, and, perhaps most important of all… I believe myself in love with her."

"No, really?" Leonard said, voice dripping with sarcasm "How'd you work that one out?"

"It involved a hot shower and a rather irritating conversation with a figment of my imagination."

Leonard disregarded this. "Sheldon, most people don't get married as soon as they realize they love each other. I mean, I've been thinking about this for weeks- I put a lot of thought into my decision!" He sighed. "Look, I'm really happy for you, but are you sure?"

"In truth?" Sheldon asked. Leonard nodded. "To be perfectly honest, I'm sure I wish to do this. However, I'm… unconvinced of my capability to."

"You're scared."

"Well of course I'm scared!" Sheldon snapped, getting to his feet and running his fingers through his hair in distress. "Aren't you?"

"Well yeah! But I've still got to ask, don't I? I mean, I can't chicken out just because I'm afraid."

"I was under the impression that was a viable option," Sheldon mumbled.

"Look, buddy," Leonard said, standing up and walking over to him. "You just told me you love her, right?"

"Absolutely," he said instantly. "I would do anything to prevent harm from befalling her."

"Then if you really mean that… I guess you're right. You're ready."

"But what if she says no? She _may_ refuse my proposal, which likely _will_ destroy what we have together. And I can't lose her, Leonard." He was clearly becoming distressed."

"I hate to break it to you buddy, but you've already bought the ring; you're kind of committed now. Besides, look at it this way: if you don't ask her, you'll never get to marry her. If you do, at least you've got a chance. Schrodinger's Cat, you know?"

Sheldon took a shaky breath. "Darn you voice of reason… Alright, I'll do it."

Leonard grinned. His best friend, whom he'd once thought would never even _like_ a girl, was going to propose. Heck, _he_ was going to propose! Speaking of which… "Just take it from me, alright? Don't go nuts."

Sheldon seemed to relax and gave a small, slightly superior smile. "Don't fret, Leonard. I promise not to propose during coitus." And with that, he picked his wallet off the table and left.

**BBT**

**(That Night)**

"-So where's Sheldon?" Penny said, taking a bite out of her curry. She and Leonard were sitting alone in her apartment eating dinner. "Shouldn't he be demanding we go eat pizza by now or something?"

"Actually, pizza night got cancelled. He's on a date with Amy."

"Oh, that's nice," Penny said, taking a drink of water.

"Yep. He's gonna propose," Leonard said casually.

Penny spat out the water. "_What?!_"

"Yep," he said, grinning. "The guy finally manned up."

"Oh my God, that's great!" Penny gushed. "But were you supposed to tell me?"

Leonard shrugged. "Probably not. But by the end of tonight, either she'll agree or she won't. Who I tell doesn't really make a difference."

"Wow, I'm so happy for her…" Penny looked positively ecstatic. "This is so great!"

"Yeah," he agreed. "I'm really happy for the guy. I mean, if she says yes, he'll spend the rest of his life with the woman he cares about more than anything else in the universe."

Penny had fallen silent, taken a little off-guard by his sudden change in tone. "Leonard-"

"The girl," he continued, "He thinks is beautiful even when she's had a long day at work. Who he thinks is smart and talented and just plain kind. Who he wants to spend the rest of his life with because he thinks she'll make him a better guy, and he wants to make her a better girl." He took a deep breath, slipped off the couch and knelt down, taking the box out of his pocket. "The girl he loves." He opened the box.

She stared at him for a long moment, pressed a hand to her mouth. Then, slowly, she said, "Leonard… we need to talk."

_Oh God no._

"I- I think-" Her voice caught. "I think we should really just-"

"Be friends?" he finished, stunned. He stood up, box still in hand, feeling like every bone in his body was breaking simultaneously.

She nodded. "Just friends."

He stared at her, not understanding, unable to comprehend _why_. "Penny-"

"Leonard, I think you should probably go now."

He shook his head, numb. "No…"

"Leonard-"

"No," he said, more vehemently this time. "Every time we get close, every time we're _almost there,_ you push me away! Penny, please, what- what am I doing wrong, what-"

"It's not you, it's me, I'm so sorry…" Tears spilled out from under her eyes.

"Oh God- please, Penny, don't cry," he said, sitting down beside her again. "I'm sorry, I'm pushing you too fast and-"

"No!" she said. "No, no, don't take it that way, you aren't pushing, just…"

"What?" he said, worried. "What is it?"

No answer.

"Penny?"

"I can't lose you, Leonard," she confessed, all in a teary rush. "I just- My parents' marriage didn't last, your parents' didn't, my sister's didn't; everyone I've ever known has broken up, and you're this- this amazing, great, _wonderful _guy and I love you so much that I'd rather we were just friends than hating each other like my parents do!" A fresh wave of tears seemed to hit her here. "I couldn't take that Leonard, I couldn't take hating you and you hating me and I'm so sorry…"

He pulled her into a hug. She cried into his shoulder.

"That wouldn't happen to us, I promise," he said, rocking back and forth.

"How do you know?" she mumbled. "How do you know your feelings about me wouldn't change?"

"Because I love you. And love isn't a feeling; it's a decision." He held her out at arms length and looked her dead in her red, tear-brimmed eyes. "Penny, listen to me: no matter what, I will _never_ stop loving you."

She bit her lip. "I love you too," she said, her voice scarcely more than a whisper.

"So… will you marry me?" he asked hesitantly.

She let out a half-sob, half-laugh and nodded, so he took the ring out of the box and slipped it on her finger. She laced her fingers behind his head and kissed him.

**BBT**

"Would you at least tell me what movie we're going to see?"

"No."

"Is it Total Recall again?"

"No."

"Bourne Legacy?"

"No."

"The Words?"

"You will find out when the movie starts, Amy."

The neurobiologist sighed as she took a seat in the empty theater. She looked around and frowned. "Sheldon, isn't this the theater where you asked me to be your girlfriend?"

"Is it really?" Sheldon said, with fake-innocence. "How peculiar."

The lights dimmed and the previews began to play. Amy excused herself to use the restroom.

As she came back into the theater and took her seat beside Sheldon, she heard the words, _"Fifty years ago, Paris was a light-hearted city, the goal of many a traveler. But some came not for gaiety, but to work, to study at one of the world's most famous universities, the Sorbonne…"_

She let out a little gasp. "This is _Madame Curie._"

"I know."

_"…among them, there was a young girl. She was poor. She was beautiful. She had left her homeland and family, and here in Paris she was alone, haunted by dreams and invincibly eager."_

"-How did you-?"

"I know people," Sheldon replied smugly. "You informed me once that this was your favorite love story, so I asked if perhaps they could run a special showing of the movie version."

Amy looked at him, touched. She hadn't known Sheldon had such a romantic side.

The movie played its way through. About forty minutes in came one of Amy's favorite scenes.

"_Mademousille Sklowdoska!" Knock-knock-knock-knock-knock. "Mademousille!" Knock-knock-knock. "Mademousille Sklowdoska!"_

_ "What is it? What's happened? Is anything wrong-? Oh, Dr. Curie!"_

_ "I find it impossible for you to leave Paris!"_

_ "But what-"_

_ "No, please! I must talk to you… I find myself in a very peculiar position. During these past two weeks when you've not been coming to the laboratory, I've found everything very confusing. It's impossible to do my work! In short,_ _I find it impossible to go one without you. But now, suddenly, something has become very clear to me: uh, I am helpful to you in the laboratory, am I not? Am I not, didn't you say that?'"_

_ "Yes."_

_ "A few times I've been able to give you suggestions which you have found valuable?"_

_ "Of course."_

_ "Well then. Now, as I am inclined to be nervous and impatient, you are quite the opposite- you are clear-minded, you are tenacious, you will never give up. It's an excellent combination. I might compare it with the chemical formula, NaCl, sodium chloride. It's a stable, necessary compound. So, if we marry on this basis, our marriage would always be the same, the temperature would always be the same, the composition would always be the same. No distractions, no fluctuations, none of the uncertainties and emotions of love."_

_ "But-"_

_"I know how you feel about love, about men, I mean. And I respect that feeling. It's also my own conviction: for the scientist, there is no time for-"_

The screen suddenly froze. Amy frowned. What was going on?

The picture flickered and then died.

There was a few moments of silence while she tried to figure out what was going on, before the person from up in the box said, "Excuse me, folks, we're having a few technicalities. We're very sorry and if you will wait for a few minutes we should be able to get it up and running again. Thanks for your cooperation."

"This is an outrage!" Sheldon said, furious.

"Sheldon…"

"No! I paid for this movie, and you deserve to watch it."

"Sheldon, there isn't much they can do. It's not in their control."

There was a pause, before he frowned. "Hmph. Well, in that case, we'll have to make do on our own."

"Yes," she said, relieved he hadn't caused a scene. "Yes, we-"

"'I have always believed science and marriage to be incompatible,'" Sheldon quoted from the movie. Amy's mouth dropped open. "'But it's stupid to believe in generalizations. In our case, it would be a wonderful collaboration." He got down on one knee and took her hand.

Amy's head was spinning. "Sheldon, what-"

"Amy, when I first met you, I did not expect to find such a brilliant like-minded individual. I did not expect to get attached to you. I did not expect to ask you to be my girlfriend in this very theater. In short, I did not expect to develop such a cherished relationship with you. I was wrong." He pulled the ring box out of his pocket and opened it. "Amy Farrah Fowler, I indubitably and emphatically love you… will you consent to be my wife?"


	30. Chapter 30 Preludes

Chapter 30

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory. I make no money off of this.

_**Previously on the Big Bang Theory (fanfic)…**_

_ -"…I think I'm in love with her."_

_ -"Grow a pair and do something before you lose her."_

_ -"I don't believe it! My best friend is proposing!_

_ "Well, so is mine."_

_ -"Leonard, we need to talk."_

_ -"Penny, listen to me: no matter what, I will never stop loving you."_

_ "I love you too."_

_ "So… will you marry me?"_

_ -"Sheldon, isn't this the theater where you asked me to be your girlfriend?"_

_ "Is it? How peculiar."_

_ -"Amy Farrah Fowler, I indubitably and emphatically love you… will you consent to be my wife?"_

**BBT**

Amy stared at him, her expression stunned yet otherwise inscrutable. He could feel his heart slamming against his chest; his lungs froze, unable to draw in air. What was she thinking? Was she was angry? What if she left him?

Then, she leaned forward and kissed him. "Affirmative," she said as she pulled away, a catch in her throat. "Now I suggest you inhale before you pass out."

"Sound reasoning," he said (well, gasped), taking in a deep breath. Suddenly, it wasn't as difficult anymore. He got back up and sat in his seat, taking the ring out of the tiny velvet box and slipping it on her finger. "Do you like it?"

"It's beautiful. But I saw something written on the inside; what is it?"

"'To love is to will the good of another,'" he answered, a little nervous.

"Aristotle's philosophy?" He nodded. She bit her lip. "Sheldon… that's so romantic."

"Thank y-" Before he could finish, she'd kissed him again, and this time she didn't pull away.

In front of them, the movie started to play.

**BBT**

"-I can't believe it," Raj said, holding his head like it was going to keep his brains in. "Seriously. My mind. Has. Been. _Blown._"

"Grow up, Raj," Leonard grumbled.

"Yeah, so they're getting married. Don't act like a four-year-old," Howard said, taking a bite of his egg salad sandwich. "Personally, I'm proud of you two for getting the guts to move things along."

"I am _not_ acting like a four year old!" Raj huffed. "I can understand Leonard getting married to Penny; I always knew that was going to happen-"

"You did?" Leonard interjected. "Even when I was dating your sister?"

"Duh. Anyone with eyes could see it; I was rooting for the Lenny the whole way." He took a drink of his milk. "But that's not the point. The point is, the little man-child liked it and he put a ring on it."

"If we're done quoting pop stars, I would like to point out that you yourself admitted I 'got a girl' before you," Sheldon said, irritated.

"Only because we set you up, dude."

"Irrelevant."

"Totally relevant!"

"Excuse me."

They all looked over their shoulder. Amy stared back at them, her glasses-free eyes expectant.

"Oh, hey, Amy," Leonard said. "What happened to your glasses?"

"I accidentally broke them this morning; I'm using contacts until I can get a new pair. Anyway, I thought I'd drop this off with you, Howard." She put a small, black dish down in front of him, wrapped in a Ziploc bag. "It's a sample from Bernadette's lab and it's a shorter drive here than it is there. I was hoping you could give it to her for me."

"What's in it?" the engineer asked, picking it up with a frown.

"E coli. I would suggest keeping the lid closed, especially around food." Howard gingerly put it down. "Actually, I did have a minor ulterior motive for my visit; I wanted to see my fiancé- and also use the words _fiancé_ and _my_ in the same sentence." She checked her watch. "Nevertheless, I should be getting back to work; I have a few more samples to take care of during lunch break." She glanced at Sheldon, who gave her a reproving look but also a nod, so she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and left.

"I wish she wouldn't do that," Sheldon mumbled, exhaling.

"What, kiss you?" Raj said with a frown.

"No, wear contacts. I've found it makes respiration somewhat difficult," he said, taking a bite of his sandwich.

"Let me put it this way, buddy," Howard said with a wink. "One piece of clothing at a time."

Sheldon choked. Raj wacked him in the back and said, "Take it easy on him, Howard; the man-child isn't ready yet." The theoretical physicist shot him a glare, but was still too busy recovering to talk.

"So have you told Dalton yet?" Howard asked, when his taller friend had got his breath back.

"Not yet. I intend on doing so sometime this week."

"The sooner the better, dude," Raj said. "You don't want him finding out from someone else."

"I suppose that theory does have some merit to it…" Sheldon agreed thoughtfully.

"No kidding," Leonard said, slightly sarcastic. His phone buzzed, so he picked it up. After a moments' reading, he let out a loud whoop.

"What is it?" Howard asked.

"It's Penny! She just got the call; she's got the job!"

"For future reference, the words 'she has' would likely be preferable to 'she's got,' considering you used 'got' in the previous sentences," Sheldon commented.

Leonard gave him a look. "Shut up, Sheldon. (The taller physicist looked taken aback). This is so great; I can't believe-" His phone buzzed again, cutting him off. He picked it up.

His face changed almost instantaneously from one of joy to one of despair. "Oh man…"

"What?" Raj said, worried.

Leonard looked up. "My mother's coming to town."

Everyone but Sheldon immediately sobered up. "Well, that isn't bad," said unaffected man commented. "After all, Dr. Beverly Hofstadter is a brilliant woman." "Yeah? And how do you think that 'brilliant woman' who just broke up with my dad three years ago is gonna take the fact that I'm getting married?" Leonard demanded, rubbing his temples.

"Oh." Sheldon considered this. "Yes. I can see how that may be problematic."

"Ya think?" He appeared frazzled. "I gotta go talk to Penny."

"Dude, you're at work," Raj pointed out. "What if you don't get back before lunch break is over?"

"Make up something, say I'm in the bathroom. _Please,_ guys, this is important," Leonard pleaded.

The other three looked around, before Howard said, "Okay, go. We'll cover for you."

"Thanks, I owe you all one!" Leonard said, getting up and rushing for the doors.

**BBT**

Leonard hurried into the cheesecake factory and caught one of the waitresses by the arm. "Hey, have you seen Penny?"

"She's over there," one said, nodding towards Penny, who was taking an order.

He ran over and tapped her on the shoulder as she headed back for the kitchen. "Oh, hey!" she said, grinning. "Did you get my text?"

"Yeah, congrats."

"I can't believe it. Three more months and I'm outta here…" She paused, frowned. "Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah, um… well no. Not at all."

She glanced over at the manager, who was talking to a customer in a business suit. "Okay, what's up?"

Leonard bit his lip. "My mother's coming to town."

"Oh, that's nice."

"Yeah, about that, you know she got divorced a few years ago…"

Penny crossed her arms. "Where're you going with this, Hofstadter?"

He winced. "I…"

"C'mon, spit it out."

"…I need you to pretend like we're not engaged."

"What?!"

"Penny, don't freak out-"

"Don't freak out! Are you kidding me?" she said, throwing her hands in the air. "We're not even twenty-four hours engaged and you want me to fake like I'm not for your _mother?_ I thought she liked me!"

"She does but-"

"But what?! She was fine when we were seeing each other!"

"Of course she was! She doesn't mind physical relations! But marriage…" He shook his head, rubbing his temples. "Look, my family's messed up as it is right now, I don't want to put anything else in the mix."

Penny's eyes softened, and she let out a small sigh. "Fine…" She caught a glance of the people she'd taken the order from giving her the evil eye. "I've got to get back to work. You owe me one, Leonard."

"I know." He gave her a quick kiss. "I'll see you later; I love you."

"Love you too." She watched as he hurried out of the Cheesecake Factory, in a rush to get back to work. She smiled as he disappeared. "Love you too."

**BBT**

Sheldon Cooper was not a man to believe in 'signs.' He was not religious, nor superstitious, nor a subscriber to coincidence.

However, even he had to admit that perhaps Murphy's Law did have some merit to it, since the chances of Dalton playing Pachelbel's _Canon in D _at this very moment was nothing short of ironic.

Dalton finished on the chord and turned to Sheldon, eyes hopeful. "How did that sound?" he asked, clearly seeking approval.

"In a word, superb," Sheldon said. "Dalton, may I have a talk with you?"

"Sure." He hopped off the chair in front of the electric and sat down on the couch. Sheldon took a seat beside him. "What's going on? Am I in trouble?"

"No, not at all." He paused, trying to figure out how to explain. "Dalton… you like Amy Farrah Fowler, do you not?"

"Of course," the seven-year-old said, bewildered.

"How would you feel about her… becoming your additional caretaker?"

Dalton frowned, confused, and then it dawned on him. "Dr. Fowler's going to be my mom?"

"Would you like that?"

He hesitated, and then slowly smiled and nodded earnestly.

"I'm glad to hear it. We will wed hopefully sometime in the foreseeable future, and-"

"Would I have any brothers or sisters?"

Sheldon did a double take. "Beg your pardon?"

"Brothers and sisters," Dalton repeated. "Little siblings."

The older Cooper fell silent, taken aback. Little siblings meant children. Children generally meant babies, and babies, unless they chose to adopt, meant…

"That'll be discussed at a later time," Sheldon said, more to himself than to his adopted son. He didn't need to think about that right now. "In any case, I'm glad you approve."

Suddenly, the door opened, revealing a disheveled Leonard. "Sheldon, I need a favor," he said.

Sheldon raised an eyebrow. "May I assume that it has something to do with pretending to your mother that you aren't engaged to our neighbor across the hall?"

"Yeah, it- how did you know that?"

"Penny texts Amy, Amy texts me. Really, Leonard, you call yourself a genius."

Leonard rolled his eyes, striding into the apartment. "We need everything perfect, okay? You know my mother; she's pickier than you!"

"Excuse me!"

"No offense." He ran his fingers through his hair, messing it up even more. "We have exactly-" He checked his watch, "Forty-six hours and thirty-seven minutes before my mother gets here."

"Then you'd better get cracking," Sheldon commented blithely.

"_I'd_ better get cracking? Aren't you going to help me?"

"Why? She isn't my mother."

Leonard scowled, and then it came to him. "Yeah? Well remember that time _your_ mother visited?"

"You mean the time she 'ditched' me to go see the various churches in Pasadena?"

"No, I mean the time _I called her_ and sheconvinced you to make up with Amy."

"Excuse me; my mother clearly stated she did not approve-"

"It was reverse psychology, Sheldon!" He prodded the offended physicist in the chest. "Therefore it's because of _me _you're getting married! And that means _you owe me!_"

Sheldon glared at him. "…Curses. Fine, I'll help."

"Alright, so, tell me everything that's wrong with this apartment."

Sheldon snorted. "Good Lord, where do I start? For one, the food in the refrigerator isn't organized at all, you need to run a vacuum cleaner through the entire apartment after a good dusting, that lampstand needs to be turned twenty-two degrees exactly…"

Leonard groaned inwardly. _This is going to be a loooong forty-six hours…_


	31. Chapter 31 Guests, Expected & Otherwise

Chapter 31

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory. I make no money off of this.

**BBT**

"Refrigerator stocked and organized according to various sections of the food pyramid?"

"Check."

"Beds made old-style; comforters straight and pillows leaning back at the correct degrees?"

"Check."

"Entire apartment thoroughly cleaned and organized, including bathrooms, bedrooms and closets?"

"Check."

"Leonard, I believe we are ready."

By what seemed to be both a miracle and an ironic twist of fate, the apartment had, under Sheldon's 'guidance' (to put it politely), been arranged down to the last napkin. The three inhabitants now stood in a perfect line, awaiting the inspection.

_Knock knock-knock knock._

Leonard sucked in a breath and stepped forward, opening the door. "Hi, mom, so glad you're here."

Beverly looked back, clearly not amused. "Who else would it be?"

He attempted a smile that looked more like a grimace. "Nice to see you too. Come on in."

Beverly entered, suitcase in tow. "Pleasure to see you again, Dr. Cooper."

"And you as well."

"Nice to meet you, Dr. Hofstadter," Dalton said, extending a hand.

She turned, surprised, and then frowned. "A hand-shaker. Interesting."

"Not really. My meemaw trained it into me due to southern protocol."

Beverly frowned (she hadn't expected such an articulate answer), and then shook his head gingerly. She turned to Leonard. "Is he yours?"

"Actually, he's mine," Sheldon commented. "Would you like some tea?"

"Yes, please." As Sheldon began to make the tea (_so eidetic memories do have some use after all,_ Leonard thought), she crossed her arms. "I did not think you the type to sire a child, Dr. Cooper."

"I didn't."

"He's my legal caretaker," Dalton added. "My… birthfather's in Texas."

"I see." Beverly pursed her lips. "Would you mind if I asked you a few questions?"

Of everything she'd expected him to do or say, Beverly did not expect the boy to _smile._ Yet, smile he did, and she was utterly baffled.

Beverly disliked being utterly baffled. She crossed her arms."Is something amusing?"

Dalton bit his lip, trying to stop the smile- an attempt that failed as his little-boy dimples popped out.

"Come on, speak up."

"You're funny," Dalton said, and with that, he went over to the piano, picked up his composition, and walked into his room.

Beverly watched him go, and then said in her 'annoyed' version of monotone, "Children."

"Your tea," Sheldon said, handing her the cup.

"Oolong?"

"Yes."

"Loose, not bagged?"

"Yes."

"Steeped three minutes?"

"Yes."

"Two percent milk?"

"Yes."

"Warmed separately?"

"Yes."

"One teaspoon of sugar?"

"Yes."

"Raw sugar?"

"No, refined."

She looked up at him.

"Bazinga."

She took a sip, considered it. "Superb. Leonard, you should be taking lessons."

Leonard did his best to smile, which turned out more like a grimace. "So, mom, you're staying until Tuesday?"

"Precisely. Two days is certainly long enough; anymore and I may give you the impression I actually need to be here."  
His facial muscles twitched. _Just… keep… smiling._

_Knock-knock. _"Sheldon."

_Oh thank God!_ Leonard said, jumping to his feet. It occurred to him in passing that there was a time when he never would have thought that about a visit from Amy Farrah Fowler, but right now she was the Carpathia of the sinking RMS Conversation.

He opened the door with a hopefully-not-too-relieved, "Hey, Amy."

"Hello. May I come in?"

"Yes." _Abso-frickin'-lutely._

"Thank you." She walked in and extended a hand to Beverly. "You must be Leonard's mother. Pleasure to meet you."

Beverly regarded her coolly. "Yet another hand-shaker."

"Yes," Amy replied, tone even and not at all affected. "My father always said you could tell a lot by a person from their handshake, a theory to which I subscribe. However, that could be a biased decision, as I greatly admired my father. I take after him more than I do my mother, though he worked as a cardiologist, not a neurobiologist."

Beverly raised an eyebrow. "You're a neurobiologist?"

"Did I not just state that?"

"You're correct; that was redundant. Tell me, would you be available to have your brain scanned?"

"No I would not. However, I could send you an email with my own scans."

There was a pause, and then Ms. Hofstadter said shrewdly, "Who exactly are you? A friend of Dr. Cooper's?"

"That and more. My name is Amy Farrah Fowler; I am Sheldon's fiancé." They had all previously agreed that Sheldon and Amy would not pretend as if they weren't a couple, hopefully taking the heat off of Leonard and giving an excuse for any wedding-talk mess-ups.

Beverly let out a condescending chuckle. "I see."

"You find my engagement to Dr. Cooper to be amusing. Interesting," Amy said, in the exact same tone.

"Explain."

"Well, on a basic level, it clearly suggests you do not favor marriage, which could stem from any number of things. I could go into details and make predictions, but in present company I don't think that'd be socially appropriate."

Leonard and Sheldon watched this entire exchange, Sheldon unsurprised, Leonard's mouth hanging open.

Beverly's eyes narrowed, but she didn't offer a comeback. After a long moment, she said, "Touché."

"Thank you. Sheldon, I have some details to discuss; could you come over to Penny's with me? She has all the information."

"Certainly." Both pointedly ignored Leonard's pleading, _don't-leave-me-here-alone!_ eyes, standing up and heading over to the exit. "We'll be back shortly," Sheldon said (mainly for Leonard's benefit- he felt uncommonly sorry for his roommate).

"Alright," the experimental physicist said weakly. The door clicked shut.

Beverly frowned, taking a drink of her tea. "So he has a fiancé… unexpected, yet intriguing."

"Uh-huh," he said, figuring if she just kept talking he'd probably be okay.

"If I want to make a full analysis of their relationship I'll need more data. Tell me, Leonard, are they having regular intercourse?"

Leonard choked on absolutely nothing. As he sucked in a gulp of air (and wondering how that was even possible), he managed to say, "No. Not at all."  
Beverly raised an eyebrow. "As in, ever? Hm…" She considered this for a moment, and then said, "Are you still seeing the waitress across the hall?"

"Oh, um, yeah, Penny and I… I mean, we broke up for a while, but we're back together now, so…"

"I see… are _you_ having regular intercourse?"

"No," he stated flatly.

She raised an eyebrow. "Care to give your mother more information?"

"We, um, we just decided that wasn't really helping the relationship, so we stopped."

"Just like that?" He could see her taking mental notes, preparing an analysis. "And how do you feel about that?"

At her words, he suddenly felt something flare up inside him. _No way._ He was not going to let his mother control his relationship with Penny (well, any more than she was already doing). So he looked her dead in the eye and said, "_Fantastic."_

Beverly stared back, and then said taciturnly, "I see."

For a long few seconds, not another word was said. Then, Beverly stood. "Would you show me to my room?"

"Yeah," Leonard said, standing up. "You'll be sleeping in my room actually; since Dalton is in Sheldon's, and he's sleeping on the couch."

"Where are you then?"

"On the floor beside it."

"You didn't request the couch?"

Leonard looked at her, surprised. "Sheldon's on it."

"Thank you for informing me," she responded dryly. "Did you not ask him to move?"

"Of course not. Why would I?"

"Hmm… well, I suppose inferiority complexes will have that effect."

"I do not have an inferiority complex!"

"Denial won't get you anywhere Leonard; I've been telling you that since you were two years old."

He bit back a groan. Still, even with this resumed barrage, he couldn't help but feel as if in the ever-constant war between him and his mother, he had just won something of a small battle.

**BBT**

Dinner that night was awkwardly silent for two and nicely quiet for three. Penny and Amy had elected to join them, and every topic of conversation proposed by anyone with an IQ under 175 was immediately shot down. The food was home-cooked by Leonard (aka, the best meal he could make without severely injuring himself). Mrs. Hofstadter poked at it with her fork, expression that of obvious disdain. "Really, Leonard, how do you eat if you can't cook?"

"We order in," Leonard answered.

"Actually, Leonard can cook some things, as can Sheldon," Amy commented. "I've had his sourdough bread."

Mrs. Hofstadter gave her a small, condescending smile (the only kind of smile she did). "Yes. Well, I'm sure when you're married he'll teach you how to make it. Something to do during your excess free time."

Amy frowned, but bit her tongue for Leonard's sake. Sheldon looked confused.

"So, um, Beverly: how're things going with your work?" Penny asked, giving one last shot at trying to make conversation.

"I highly doubt you'd understand; you only have a bachelor's degree in a fine arts."

"Well, I could make an attempt to listen," Penny offered.

"Hm. I think I'd rather talk about your occupation. Tell me, Penny, have you finally broken into the acting business?"

"No, but I do have a job," Penny said, a littler flattered she'd actually thought to ask. "I'm starting as a student teacher in the fall for a high school acting class. If I do well, I'll take over the teacher's job when she retires next year."

Beverly stared at her for a long moment, and then said, "I'm sorry, I made an attempt and I didn't enjoy it."

Penny did her absolute best to smile. "That's okay."

"If you'll all excuse me, I have some laundry to do," Sheldon said, standing up and bringing his plate over to the sink.

"Of course. I'll converse with you later, Dr. Cooper," Mrs. Hofstadter said.

There was a knock on the door, surprising them all. Since he was already standing, Sheldon walked over to the door and opened it.

The next thing anyone knew, Sheldon had been pulled into an embrace by a much shorter figure. "Why didn'cha tell me you were getting' married?! Oh Shellybean, I'm so proud a you!"

**A/N: Sorry it's so short, guys! Hope you enjoyed it! And yes, it's exactly who you think it is!**


	32. Chapter 32 Shatter

Chapter 32

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory. I make no money off of this.

**BBT**

"Mom?" Sheldon said, surprised.

"Well of course it's me; who else would it be?" Mary said, drawing back and holding her son out at an arm's length.

"Wolowitz and Koothrappali, the landlord, a super-evolved being from the future-"

"Oh really, Shelly, just say hello!"

"Well hello," he said, the corners of his mouth twitching into his usual not-quite-a-smile. He opened the door wider, and Mary walked in.

Dalton ran over and gave her a hug. "Meemaw!"

"Well hello, sweetie! How're ya doin', huh?"

"I'm great!" Dalton said excitedly. "And guess what! Dr. Fowler's going to be my mama!"

Mary laughed. "Yes I heard. Now Shelly, I want you to tell me everything that-" She stopped upon seeing Mrs. Hofstadter, surprised. "Oh, am I interrupting somethin'?"

"Yes, you are," Mrs. Hofstadter responded.

"I'm terribly sorry; I'll come back later-"

"No, it's okay, Mrs. Cooper," Leonard said.

"Yeah, come over and eat!" Penny added eagerly. Both she and Leonard had the same thought: _if awkwardness is like a pie, the more people, the less my share._

"Well thank y'all kindly, you're so sweet," Mary said, sitting down by Beverly (where there was a free seat). She looked at Mary with obvious disdain.

"You must be Dr. Cooper's mother," she stated.

"Yes, I am," Mary said with a smile. "My name's Mary Cooper, pleasure to meet'cha." She extended a hand.

Beverly studied her and then opened her mouth.

"Everyone but you shakes hands, mother," Leonard said, before she could say anything.

Beverly gave him a disapproving look, and then back to Mary, who was still smiling (though she looked a little confused). She gingerly took her hand and shook it.

"Would you like anything to eat, Mrs. Cooper?" Leonard offered, standing up and going to the kitchen.

"Why yes I would, thank you, Leonard." He ladled her a bowl of soup and put a grilled cheese sandwich on her plate. She accepted it and took a spoonful of the soup. "This is very good, Leonard; did you make it yourself?"

"Yeah, you like it?"

"Please, Leonard, don't go fishing for compliments where you won't find any," Beverly said, before Mary could speak.

Leonard's face tightened, almost imperceptibly, but Mary noticed. She saw how his expression (which had lit up with pride at her comment) turned fake and walled. She looked over at Beverly, surprised, but it seemed either the woman hadn't noticed her son's reaction or hadn't cared.

"Well I think it's delightful," she said, and took another spoonful for emphasis. "Now tell me Shelly, how did all of this come about?"

"Well it's very simple," Sheldon replied evenly. "I evaluated our relationship, found that what I felt for Amy exceeded simple attraction or even affection, and concluded that wedding her would be the correct course of action."

"In other words, you love her," Mary said bluntly.

"In laymen's terms, yes, that is correct."

"Well Amy Fowler," Mary said warmly, turning towards her, "I'm honored and a little surprised by your agreement. I couldn't have asked for a better daughter-in-law."

"Thank you, Mrs. Cooper."

The room seemed to have inexplicably warmed since Mary's entrance, though she had yet to notice. As the Texan lady beamed with pride at her son, Leonard felt a stab of jealousy hit his heart.

"By the way, Shelly, you _will_ be getting married in a church, won't you?"

"I don't see why I need to," Sheldon said, surprised. "I'm hardly religious, mother; the justice of the peace would do just as w-"

"Shelly, nobody does a good a job as Jesus and that's that."

"Mother-"

"Actually Sheldon, I wouldn't mind being married in a church," Amy piped up.

He looked over, surprised. "Why ever would you want that?"

"They are better physically equipped for dealing with a wedding, and besides, I want to walk down the aisle in a dress. Moreover, it would please both of our families."

"I agree with Sheldon," Beverly said calmly, taking a drink from her tea. "The idea of a big wedding is overcomplicated and entirely ridiculous. The justice of the peace worked just fine for me."

Sheldon said nothing for a moment, and then turned to Amy. "Amy, is what you said really want you desire for our wedding?"

"Yes," she answered calmly.

"Then the matter is settled."

"Really?" she said, overjoyed. "Thank you."

He shrugged. "It was only logical. I could care less about the location, so your wish is unopposed."

"Terrific," Marry said, smiling in a very self-satisfied way. "I've already called up a lovely Baptist church here in the city and the pastor said he he's willing to do the ceremony. Oh, and you could have it at Christmastime! It'd give you five months to prepare, not to mention that the church would be just darling in poinsettias…"

"Mrs. Cooper, relax; it's their wedding," Leonard said, laughing.

"I'm sorry; I'm just all of a flutter," Mrs. Cooper replied, breathless. "Oh Shellybean, I'm so proud…" She gave her son a half-hug (which he awkwardly tried to return).

The rest of the night passed in a warm, homey atmosphere, as Mrs. Cooper negated some of the tension brought by Beverly. Around ten, Amy declared she should be getting home, and Penny agreed. After a quick kiss on the lips from Leonard to the blonde, and a slightly more hesitant peck on the cheek from Sheldon for Amy, both young women left, leaving the men to get ready for bed.

"I'd best be getting to my hotel soon," Mary said, standing up from her comfortable armchair.

"Before you leave, I must ask, how do you feel about your son getting married?" Beverly asked clinically, adjusting her glasses.

"Well I'm mighty proud, of course," the Texan said, beaming.

"Why?"

"Why?" Mary looked confused. "My little boy's gettin' married to a charming young lady; why wouldn't I be proud?"

"Indeed," Beverly said tonelessly. "Good evening, Mrs. Cooper."

"G'devening, Mrs. Hofstadter." As Sheldon came out into the living room, she walked over to him. "G'night to you too, Shellybean. I'll see ya in the morning."

"Good night, mother." After a quick kiss to her son on the cheek, Mary left. Sheldon turned to Beverly and said calmly. "You do not approve."

She raised an eyebrow. "You have excellent hearing."

"I've been told." He took a few steps closer to her, standing at his full height, hands clasped behind his back. "Your opinions on my choices are of little consequence to me. But know this: if you _ever_ insult Amy again, you will be required to leave the apartment, and will not be welcomed back." And with that, he walked away.

**BBT**

"So why aren't we over at Leonard and Sheldon's tonight?"

"Leonard's mother is in town," Raj replied from the kitchen.

"He didn't want us to meet her?" Alejandra asked, confused.

"Trust me, _you_ don't want to meet her." He walked over and handed her the plate.

"New dish?" she asked.

"Yes, it's Rachel Ray's. You like it?"

She took a bite. "Delicious," she said, swallowing.

His face broke into a grin. "I'm glad you like it."

"So, how is work going?"

"Same old, same old. Stars, nebulas, black holes…" He shrugged. "You know, there's this great romance novel that just came out."

"Really?"

"Yes, it's just wonderful. I'll go get it." He made to stand.

"Oh, I can get it, Rajesh. Where is it?"

"On the table in my bedroom."

"Alright. I'll be back." She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and headed into the hall.

Raj sighed happily. Life was good. He had tasty food, a nie apartment, and a kind girlfriend. What more could he ask for?

The tapping of quick heels on hardwood snapped him out of his reverie, and he looked over.

Alejandra came rushing out of the room, face full of rage, some sort of magazine in hand. He stood up, surprised. "Ale?"

"Shut up!" she snapped, accent strong with fury.

"What- I don't understand-"

"Then understand this, Rajesh!" she hissed. "I am not a plaything, not for you or anybody else!" She swept her coat off the couch angrily.

"You don't have to leave!"

"Oh, don't I?" she demanded, thrusting the magazine into his hands. He looked down and saw in his hands the October-November 2010 issue of Bombay Badonkadonks.

He looked up. "Ale, I-"

"Stay away from me, Rajesh!" With that, she yanked open the door and strode out, dark hair streaming behind her, door slamming shut.

Raj stared at the closed door, stunned. He looked down at the magazine in his hands. There was a seductive young woman on it, scantily clothed, but all he could see was Alejandra's face, tears of anger and shame brimming in her eyes.

**A/N: I know, I know, sorry I haven't posted for two months! (please, I beg you, don't kill me!). Hope you liked the chapter… *Sheepish wince***


	33. Chapter 33 Spilling the Beans

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory. I make no money off of this.

**BBT**

"We have a problem," Howard said, running over to the lunch table.

Sheldon and Leonard looked up. "A problem?" Leonard asked.

"Yeah, a big problem. Sheldon, Raj didn't come in for work today, did he?"

Sheldon frowned. "I haven't seen him, though he had the laboratory reserved for today; I assumed he was there."

"Well he isn't, and I can't contact him. He hasn't picked up his home phone or cell phone."

"Did you ask Ale?" Leonard suggested.

"I tried, but as soon as I said his name, she hung up."

"Do you think he's alright?" Leonard said, frowning.

Howard shook his head. "Remember the last time he went off the radar like this? We found him holed up in his apartment, sobbing over a bowl of curry."

"He's right," Sheldon said, for once in his life sounding worried about his friend. "Leonard, what if something is truly wrong?"

"Let's go," Leonard agreed, standing up. "Sheldon, fake a stomach cramp."

"What? Why?"

"So we can get permission to leave, Dimwit!" Howard hissed.

"Now that's a rather unnecessary insult-"

"Do it!"

Sheldon hesitated, and then cried out, "OH NO!"

Everyone in the cafeteria looked over. Sheldon hurriedly grabbed at his stomach. "Oh, good Lord! Leonard- Leonard you have to drive me to the hospital!"

"Sheldon-"

"My kidney! I think it's my kidney! OH LORD, THE PAIN!"

He collapsed on Leonard, who struggled to hold him up. "Howard, a little help here?!"

"Oh, for it to end like this!" Sheldon moaned, as they hurried him out of the cafeteria. "The world- it grows dim!"

"Dial it down, would you?" Howard hissed.

"JESUS, IS THAT YOU?!"

**BBT**

_BANG! BANG! BANG!_

"Raj, let us in!" Leonard shouted. No answer. He pounded on the door again, to no avail.

"He's not answering, Leonard," Sheldon said frantically.

"I can see that, Sheldon. RAJ! OPEN UP!"

"Hold on," Howard muttered. He searched through his briefcase, and then pulled out a series of sharp-looking tools. He bent down and started picking the lock. "Give it a moment… almost there…" He grimaced, shoved, and the lock clicked. "Got it!"

They pulled open the door and hurried inside. Then, they stopped.

Raj was sitting on his couch, staring blankly at the wall. An old magazine sat beside him on the couch. Leonard glanced at the others. "Raj? You alright?"

No response. The astrophysicist didn't even look a them.

"Buddy? You in there?" Howard said, walking over.

Finally, Raj looked over. "She's gone," he said hoarsely.

"Gone? Who? You mean-"

"Ale."

"Wha- Why?"

Raj shook his head, eyes filled with hopeless confusion and guilt. "She- it-" He could only gesture to the porn magazine and repeat, "She's gone."

"What do you mean, gone?" Howard demanded. "Like she's never coming back?"

He nodded wordlessly.

"But- what- Are you sure?"

"She said to leave her alone," he said, voice falling to a whisper.

"Girls say that stuff Raj, maybe she didn't mean it-"

"No Howard," he said, words certain and bitter. "She meant it. She- she doesn't want to see me, not ever again." As the truth of his words hit him, he buried his head in his hands.

"Look- Raj, it's gonna be okay-" Leonard tried awkwardly.

"No it won't Leonard!" Raj cut him off. "She's the only woman that I- that I ever _loved_, and now she hates me!" They all fell silent to the sound of his soft sobs, until finally he wiped his eyes and mumbled. "I'd… I'd like to be alone."

"Alright," Howard said, sounding a little worried. "Just… don't do anything stupid, okay?"

Raj nodded miserably. Slowly, one by one, they all left.

As they closed the door behind them, Leonard said, "So… what do we do now?"

"I don't know," Howard said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "I guess we just check in on him every now and then and… wait for him to get over her."

"Get over her? Are you crazy?" Leonard demanded. "Would you get over Bernadette just leaving you?"

"Well of course n-"

"How about you Sheldon; what would you do if Amy left?" Sheldon opened his mouth to answer, but Leonard cut him off. "Scratch that, we know what happens: you buy cats and who knows what else. Guys, this isn't just going to go away!"

"Well do you have a better idea?" Howard snapped.

"…I guess not…"

"Then this is our only option." He sighed. "Look, you guys go on home; I'll check in on him later."

"Alright," Leonard said, but he didn't sound happy. "We'll see you later." He and Sheldon left.

Howard sighed, and then on a whim glanced through the door-jam. "What in the world is he doing with that rope?" There was a pause, before he scrambled for his pick kit.

**BBT**

"-There," Sheldon said, sounding quite satisfied as he hit the 'send' button. "I've informed Dr. Gablehauser that my faked stomach cramp was only from food poisoning."

"You didn't use the word 'faked' did you?" Leonard asked warily.

"Of course not; don't be ridiculous."

His roommate rolled his eyes. "Fine. I'm going to go take a shower." As he left, there came a knock on the door. Sheldon went to answer it, and was rewarded with the sight of a slumped over Beverly Hofstadter resting on the shoulders of Amy and Penny. "What in the world happened?" he questioned.

"She's been missing all day," Penny huffed, leading the intoxicated Beverly into the apartment. "I thought she'd be back an hour or so ago, but when she didn't come back-" She ran out of breath.

"When she didn't come back, Penny called me and we started a search," Amy continued as they sat her down on the couch. "We found her at one of the local bars."

Beverly mumbled something incoherently. There was a rather nasty bruise on her forehead and a cut beside her eye.

"Amy, Penny, go get the first aid kit," Sheldon said quickly, sitting down beside her.

"Where is it?" Penny asked, already headed for the hall.

"My bedroom, under my bed."

"Got it." They disappeared into his bedroom.

"Dr. Hofstadter?" Sheldon asked. Nothing. "Dr. Hofstadter?" he tried again, this time louder.

Finally, she managed to look up. "Hey, hot stuff," she said, giving him a crooked smile.

Sheldon frowned, annoyed. "This is hardly the time for games, Dr. Hofstadter."

"Oh, I think it's the perfect time," she said, walking her fingers up his chest.

He swatted them away. "Pay attention, please. Now how many fingers am I holding u-"

Beverly pushed him into the back of the couch and kissed him passionately.

"We found the first aid kOH MY GOD!" Penny shrieked, dropping the kit.

Leonard came tearing out of the bathroom, dressed in his bathrobe. "What the hell?!" he yelped, running over and pulling his mother off his friend.

"Sheldon, are you alright?" Amy demanded, hurrying to his side. The physicist blinked several times, his mouth hanging open in shocked silence, and she turned angrily to Beverly. "You broke him!"

"Oh please sweetheart, he's just in shock," Beverly said, apparently unaffected.

Amy, entirely baffled by the remorselessness of this reply, turned back to her fiancé. "Sheldon, can you hear me?"

"Um- I-" He blinked some more. "Water. Could you-"

"Certainly." She hurried to get him a glass.

"Mom, what the hell has gotten into you?" Leonard demanded.

"Lighten up, darling, it was only a kiss." Beverly patted her son's chin in what she clearly thought was affection.

"A kiss to a man who's getting married!" Leonard snapped.

"I agree, Dr. Hofstadter," Sheldon said, finally getting his wits back about him as Amy handed him the water. "While I understand how intoxication affects the brain, this type of interaction to an engaged man is quite unacceptable."

"Or for Heaven's sakes, all of you!" Beverly said, irritated. She stood and wobbled a little, but managed to stay on her feet. "This entire business of marriage and love is nonsense! I thought I could bring you back to your senses, Dr. Cooper, but clearly your hindbrain has gotten the better of you."

"You're the one that kissed him!" Penny said, eyes still wide as saucers.

"Oh yes, Penny, the failing promiscuous actress, how much _you _must know about so-called love."

"Oh no, don't you go after her!" Leonard said angrily.

"It's only the truth, Leonard. How much longer are you going to waste your time on a wasteful slut like her?"

"Hey!" Penny shrieked. "I am not a slut!"

"Oh please darling, don't delude yourself."

"Mother, that is enough!"

"She isn't worth your time, Leonard."

"I LOVE HER AND I'M MARRYING HER WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!" Leonard shouted.

The apartment fell silent. "I beg your pardon?" Beverly said finally.

"We're… getting married," he repeated hesitantly.

"I see." She took off her glasses. "Leonard, you should know I am supremely disappointed in you."

"Yeah? Well- You know what? Tell someone who cares." And with that, he walked out of the apartment.

Penny went to follow him, and then turned back. "I can't believe you," she seethed at Beverly. "You have a wonderful, kind, _brilliant_ son and you don't even realize it." She turned on her heels and walked out.

Beverly looked over at Amy and Sheldon. They stared back at her, Amy stunned, Sheldon tight-mouthed. He didn't need to speak; his eyes alone ordered her to go.

She huffed, put her glasses back on, and walked out of the room.

**BBT**

"I knew you'd be up here."

Leonard glanced over. "Yeah," he said, looking back over the cold city lights of Pasadena. Penny walked up beside him, leaning against the edge.

"Thanks for defending me," she said after a moment.

He shrugged. "What else would I have done?"

"Well… You could've let her say those things about me. Or called off the engagement. Or anything else." She took his hand. "But you stood up for me. I know that took courage."

"Can I ask you a question, Penny?" he said, turning to her.

"Sure."

"Why do people make it so damn hard to love them?"

She shook her head. "I don't know."

He nodded, looking sadder and more abandoned than she'd ever seen him, and in that moment she felt her heart break into a million tiny pieces for this strong, smart man in front of her that had been criticized and belittled to feeling like he was nothing. She knew there was nothing she could say that would make him feel any better.

So silently, she reached out, and pulled him into a hug.


	34. Chapter 34 Making Amends

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory. I make no money off of this.

"Wish I could say I found you by accident, but I ain't never been good at lyin'."

Beverly looked up blearily, lip curling in distaste at the one person she did not want to see. "Your grammar is appalling," she said, but headache and whatever alcohol was left in her system slurred her words, and they didn't carry the sting they were meant to.

Mary didn't pay the insult any mind. Instead, she pursed her lips and said in a motherly tone, "You look a mess, darlin'. How's about you pay your tab, come with me and let me get you fixed back up."

"I'm not going anywhere," Beverly replied as tartly as she could manage.

"Alright," Mary replied evenly, sitting down beside her. Beverly gave her an ugly look but said nothing. "You got any sort of normal juice?" the Texan asked the bartender. He shook his head. "Water, then."

"How did you know I was here?" Beverly asked grudgingly.

Mary shrugged. "It was the nearest 24-hour bar to the apartment." At a questioning look, she added, "Dalton told me what happened. Apparently all that shouting after you kissed my son woke him up."

"If you are searching for an apology, you won't find one."

"I ain't the one you need to apologize to."

Beverly snorted derisively and looked away, taking a drink as her water was delivered. Silenced fell over the two.

"Y'know, it don't matter what you do; nothin' but time's gonna heal that hole in your heart, 'specially not if you keep tearin' it open again."

Beverly looked over, surprised. That was the last thing she'd expected Mrs. Cooper to say. "And what would you know," she said, drawing up every ounce of righteous anger in her body, "About inferior and disloyal spouses?"

Mary stared back at her with sad, knowing eyes. "More than you'd think, Darlin'."

Beverly's mouth dropped, flabbergasted- with rage or astonishment, she wasn't sure which- and quickly stood. "I am not going to stand here and be insulted by- by a creationist housewife with appalling grammar!"

"I'm from Texas, Ms. Hofstadter; you're going to have to do better than that," Mary said, standing as well. "I wasn't insulting you, and even if I were you oughta stay here and listen to me anyway."

"What could you possibly have to say that will interest me?" Beverly said, putting on her coat.

"I know your man ain't done right by you, but that kinda behavior ain't gonna bring him back or make you feel any better, and more to the point it's hurting people."

"Oh please, Sheldon will be fine," Beverly scoffed.

The other woman only raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't talking 'bout Shelly," she said, and with that, she set something down on the bar counter and left.

Beverly watched as the door clanged shut, and then looked over at the bar counter. She stared at the object for a long moment, and then slowly picked it up. Shining dully in the golden-yellow light of the bar, the block-printed _4A 2311 Los Robles_ glimmered on the top of the key.

**BBT**

The three men looked up as their fourth companion shuffled into the cafeteria. Raj's first day back at work had been, according to Sheldon, "silent and cheerless," and it showed on his face.

"Hey buddy," Leonard said. "Wanna take a seat?"

Raj gave a half-hearted shrug and slumped into the chair. Awkward silence covered the table.

"We uh, we got you some food," Howard said, trying to be helpful.

"Thanks," Raj mumbled, picking up the plastic fork his friend gave him, looking not at all hungry. Howard slipped the second bean enchilada onto the extra tray and handed it to him. Mechanically, his friend took a bite, swallowed, and stopped. He looked at the enchilada with a look so pitiful that it took only seconds for them all to realize their mistake.

Leonard, sensing that they would be of no help here, quickly stood. "Sheldon, I need some help in the lab; would you mind helping me with it? Now?"

"Help with what?" the oblivious physicist questioned.

"You know, that _thing."_ He gave him a meaningful look, and then tilted his head towards Raj.

"Oh!" Sheldon's eyes went wide with understanding. "Yes, of course, that thing. Right away." Quickly, he stood, and he and Leonard hurried out.

Raj continued to look at the burrito, the table, his fork, anywhere but at Howard. Finally, the engineer said, "…How're you feeling today, buddy?"

Raj shrugged. "Same as yesterday."

"Well you're at work now. That's got to be better, right?"

Another shrug. Raj tapped his fork against the table.

_Awkward._

"Look, if you want me to go-"

"No," his friend hurried to say. "Please stay. I mean…" He trailed off, looking away again.

"…You wanna talk about it?" Howard asked tentatively.

There was a moment's pause, and then it all rushed out. "It's all my fault," Raj said, voice confused yet guilty. "I know I messed up, but I didn't think it was that bad, and I can't understand why she- I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't do anything except for think about her. Howard, I can't understand why she hates me so much and I don't know what to do!" He looked at his friend desperately. "What _can_ I do?"

Howard said nothing for a long moment, and then, finally, he said, "I think… there's something I can tell you that could help, but- but you have to promise you'll never tell anyone, you understand?"

"Of course."

Again, he seemed to hesitate, guilt in his eyes (which weren't meeting his friend's), until he finally said, "Raj, the day I got married, that was the best day of my life, you know that."

"I know."

"It was amazing," Howard continued. "I felt like it couldn't be real. The most perfect girl in all the world had agreed to marry _me._ And that night-" A smile quirked his lips. "It was supposed to be so perfect. I'd rented a hotel suite, champagne, everything." The smile grew, a little sheepish, mostly proud. "I mean, we'd had sex before, but this was special. First time as man and wife, you know? But, when we finally got there, and everything was ready…" He shook his head as the smile faded, the words seeming forced, catching in his mouth. "Bernie, she… she wasn't the only girl on the bed."

"What do you mean?" Raj asked slowly.

"I mean that every girl in those magazines, every other girl I'd ever wasted my time on- they were there, too. It was…" He seemed at a loss for words. "Bernie was great about it, said she understood but- I felt like I'd betrayed her, you know?"

"So you're saying she feels like I broke her trust?" He nodded. "But what should I do?"

"That's up to you buddy, not me. But a word to the wise-" He stood up, tray in hand. "-if you ever want to get her back, you have to do something big, and soon." He left.

As he walked out of the cafeteria. Raj put every ounce of that genius gray matter into coming up with 'something big.' After spending the final twenty minutes of lunch break in deep thought, he'd come up with only one plausible solution. He disliked it- as a matter of fact, it made him feel an uncomfortable combination of embarrassment and defensive indignation- but he owed Alejandra, and nothing was too difficult for the woman who'd given him the ability to dance, speak, and love.

**BBT**

The door opened with a barely audible click, revealing a site many would find endearing, and which indeed even pulled on the heartstrings of the enterer, who had until previously been quite sure were dead.

"And if you do this-" Leonard said, connecting two wires on a built-from-scratch robot (she vaguely remembered Sheldon describing something similar in his emails, named 'MONTE'), "You can get it running again, see?"

"Wow," Dalton said, excited. "Is it true this robot was in a fight, dad?"

"Yes. He's a fallen hero," Sheldon said straight-faced. "I advocated for giving it a burial in the park, but Leonard disagreed."

"Yeah, 'cause you're completely _cra-" _He stopped suddenly upon seeing their visitor.

Awkward silence filled the apartment. Sheldon stood and said, "Dalton, we should go get the mail."

"Why?"

"Because I want to read it. Come along."

They quickly hurried out of the room, brushing past Beverly just a little too quickly to be normal. The door closed behind her.

Leonard stared back at her, twiddling his thumbs awkwardly. Finally, he said, "You forget something?"

"No."

"Oh. Well… that's good." He coughed. "Does your um, your plane come in tonight?"

The plane! She'd nearly forgotten about it. "Yes," she said, as stoically as she could. This was going to be painful. "…Leonard… I want to talk to you."

In an instant, his whole demeanor changed. "Forget it," he said, voice more acerbic than she'd ever heard it.

"I-"

"Forget it!" he said again. "I am a grown man, I can make my own decisions, and I don't want to hear _anything_ you have to say!"

His response startled Beverly, who until this point had always thought of her son as wishy-washy and meek, lacking a spine. His face had transformed into a mask with an almost primal harshness to it, the defensiveness of a cornered animal ready to fight. "I only want to discuss the matter with you."

"Well I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear anything about how you disapprove of Penny or how I could do better or I'm making the biggest mistake of my life. I am a grown man and I make my own decisions."

"Leonard-"

"I'm not a child anymore, mother! Those were the worst eighteen years of my life, you know that? You treated me like a robot, berated me at every mistake. Thank God I had comic books to give me some dreams!" His hands were curled in white-knuckled fists, his jaw clenched tightly. "I won't take it anymore! You've never treated me like a person, and I'm done with it. You've never approved of me and you never will, so _screw you!_ Screw you and all your perfectionism! Screw you and everything you want from me, because I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!"

The room echoed the last words, and the first time in his life he felt confidence filling him. He could practically hear the crowds cheering in his head. His mother looked back at him, stunned, yet resigned.

"I want to apologize."

"Well you can just- wait." That confidence suddenly dissolved. "What?"

"I want to apologize," Beverly repeated. "For everything."

This couldn't be real. His mother did _not_ apologize. Ever. His ears had to be tricking him.

"It has been made aware to me that I may have not always been the best mother," she continued, looking very uncomfortable. "Perhaps it was something I always knew but never wanted to confront… one thing about me as a psychiatrist, Leonard; I am loathe to take my own advice…" She cleared her throat awkwardly. "If I could change how things were, I would, but I am unable to, and for that I am sorry."

Leonard was shocked, so much so that his mouth was quite literally hanging open. "You're… really apologizing?"

"Indeed. I know this hardly makes up for everything, but it is all I can offer." She glanced away. "Well, I'll leave you in peace now. Good afternoon."

She had turned to go, hand already on the doorknob, when she heard, "Mom… would you like to, um, you know… come to the wedding?"

She looked over her shoulder, surprised. "Do you really desire my attendance?"

"Yeah. I mean, you're mother of the groom." He gave a small, hesitant smile. "So if you want, we can put you on the list…"

"It… would be my honor," she said slowly.

The smile grew into a slightly nervous grin, but a happy one nonetheless. "Alright. Well… have a good flight."

She opened her mouth to comment on how ridiculous a sentiment that was, but thought better of it and nodded. "Thank you."

Dr. Beverly Hofstadter breezed past Sheldon and Dalton in the lobby, so quickly that Sheldon almost missed the tell-tail sheen on her lower eyelid. Baffled, he watched her go. She did not seem to be slumped over with sadness nor stiff with anger, and in any case he would not have expected such revealing body posture from the psychiatrist. He supposed that Penny or Amy would say that they were tears of happiness. Females were so emotional.

A moment later, another familiar figure entered the lobby, and he was not at all surprised. "I don't suppose you had anything to do with that?" he questioned, nodding towards the door.

Mary Cooper only smiled. "Well Shelly, the Lord puts His people where He needs them. Perhaps I was needed."

"Perhaps you're a meddler." His mother raised an eyebrow. "Not that I'm complaining."

"Darn right you aren't." She checked her watch. "I gotta go; my flight leaves in a few hours and those security lines always take forever. You send me the weddin' details, alright?"

"Yes, mom. Have an entirely uneventful flight."

"If the Lord's on my side," she said with a smile. "I'll see you later." She kissed his cheek and turned towards the door. At the last moment, she glanced over her shoulder. "By the way, you tell your friend Howard that Mary Cooper said he's got gumption. That short li'l man's got a lot more courage than he lets on. Rajesh, too, if my hunch is right."

"Why?"

She smiled. "Love you, Shellybean." And with that, she left.

"Dad?"

Sheldon glanced down. "Yes, Dalton?"

"Grandma's very smart, isn't she?"

Sheldon considered this. "I believe we can safely assume our intelligence isn't from your grandfather's side of the family."

**BBT**

Alejandra entered the apartment, an almost physical heaviness fighting her every step of the way. She'd avoided coming into the apartment most of yesterday and all this afternoon, for fear of coming across- well, that was beside the matter.

She opened her mailbox and flipped through the envelopes. Bill, rent notice, bill, letter from the school-

She stopped, stunned. A slightly curled, all-too-familiar copy of _Bombay Badonkadonks _rested in her hands. Attached to the front was a simple sticky-note with three small, hastily scrawled words:

_The last one._

As she held it, her hands began to shake. Holding one to her mouth and pressing the magazine against her chest with the other, a sob escaped her mouth, and tears trickled down her cheeks.

Perhaps someone entering the lobby that evening would have thought she was upset or disappointed about one thing or another, but that was only because they couldn't have seen the overwhelming thankfulness and joy that the woman felt, the kind of joy one can only find in being loved.


	35. Chapter 35 The Issue

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory. I make no money off of this.

**BBT**

The days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. Wedding plans grew and changed. Amy and Penny decided on a double wedding, set for the twenty-third of December. Sheldon and Leonard agreed, Sheldon because he approved of the efficiency and Leonard because he knew better than to fight Penny on this.

Thankfully, the two girls had surprisingly similar wedding tastes. Small guest list, even with there being four different sides instead of two; wedding colors of red and white (pink accents, per Amy's request); white-and-red invitations and napkins (Penny and Amy had conceded to having a larger font in English in the middle and Klingon script at the bottom, so long as it was small, since few non-fans would recognize it); etc. etc.

It was an arrangement that worked unexpectedly well. Level-headed Leonard rarely failed to nip growing arguments in the bud, as well as handling the florists and caterers with diplomacy; task-oriented Sheldon kept them on schedule; logical Amy worked out any fiscal problems and kept them well under budget; and Penny, of course, took care of any style or design issues. As a matter of fact, aside from the occasional argument, the only real problem came less than a month before the wedding, in the form of the wedding dresses.

It was not a matter of finding them. Penny became absolutely ecstatic with her dress the moment she saw it. Sweetheart-top sheath style that pooled on the floor at the back, she had not needed another moment to think about it before she decided it was hers. No, the real problem came about the moment Sheldon opened his two texts from Penny showing Amy in two different gowns and the words: _"She wants to know which one you like."_

The first was a simple white gown, not too impressive. The second he liked: a princess-style wedding dress, complete with puffed capped sleeves and almost translucent layers of tulle covering the back. "Now look at that," he said, showing the picture to Leonard. "She really has quite good taste."

"Mm-hm," Leonard said, disinterested.

"Show a little appreciation; this is your wedding, too." He opened his phone up to text her, when it buzzed again. He opened the text, and after a long moment, seemed to close it and stood up hurriedly. "Text Amy for me, would you? I have some work to do." He picked his laptop up off the table and hurried to his room.

Leonard watched him go, bewildered. "Uh, sure," he said, as the door slammed shut. Blinking, he opened up the screen on Sheldon's phone and shot Amy a quick text, informing her that Sheldon liked the second one. He glanced back at the door, and then (feeling a bit guilty) opened up the third text.

It was a picture, similar to the other two, except for one thing: the wedding dress, complete with a low-cut neckline and clinging white material, was very revealing. Amy was snorting with laughter in the picture, which was obviously a joke, but he had the feeling Sheldon took the joke a lot more seriously than was intended.

He whistled lowly and picked up his own phone. A certain neurobiologist was going to need to have a conversation with his roommate.

**BBT**

"We need to talk."

Sheldon looked up from his laptop. "Beg your pardon?"

"We need to talk," Amy repeated, placing her spare key on the table and sitting down beside him on the couch, "About the Relationship Agreement. Leonard suggested we discuss it, and I'm of the opinion that it will need to either be revised or rewritten entirely before the wedding."

"Very logical, Amy," he said, nodding. "I've been thinking along the same lines, as it turns out, and I have a proposal I want to show to Penny and Leonard tomorrow. I was intending on informing you with them, but now that you're here you may be able to help me."

"What is it?"

He pulled up another window on his computer, which turned out to be a document regarding the apartments. "It's a very simple arrangement, actually. Leonard will move in with Penny following the marriage, and you will move in with me. Considering this apartment has two bedrooms, one for us and one for Dalton, it's very reasonable."

Her heart began to thump at the mention of bedrooms. Swallowing, she managed to say, "I suppose that would also require you nullify your roommate agreement with Leonard."

He grimaced. "A distasteful yet necessary change."

"Distasteful?"

"On the grounds that it's a large change, and you know how uncomfortable I am with change." He closed his computer and stood, walking around the back of the couch to the kitchen.

"I see…" She paused. "And also the paragraphs regarding… physical contact, of course."

He looked over from where he was preparing his tea, surprised. "Why would we need to change that?"

"Well we will have to engage in marital relations at least once, Sheldon," she said matter-of-factly. "It's sort of a requisite to being man and wife."

"It's a social convention," he replied. "I trust you're aware how we hardly fit into normal social paradigm?"

"Sheldon, that's beside the point!" she said, rising to her feet. "We are about to get married; are you honestly telling me you've never thought about this?"

"I think of everything," he answered smugly.

"Then what conclusion have you come to?"

"That you are dominated by your hindbrain and female whimsy."

She stared at him in genuine shock and anger, and then in one swift motion, strode over to the door, yanked it open, and left.

Sheldon watched the door slam shut, baffled, and then shook his head, dunking his teabag. "I should never have introduced her to Penny," he muttered.

**BBT**

"Penny, calm down."

"Calm down? Leonard, I will not calm down! You let me in there to see that crazy wackadoodle or I swear I'll-"

"Alright, alright!" Leonard put his hands in the air. "Just don't hurt him, _please?"_

"I make no promises," Penny replied viciously, and shoved open the door.

Sheldon looked over in surprise as Penny walked over to him and poked her finger in his chest. "What," she hissed, "did you do?"

"You'll have to specify."

"To AMY!" she shouted. "What did you say to her, you idiot?!"

He frowned, affronted. "Now, that's a little uncalled for."

"Uncalled for? _Uncalled for?_ She's been sitting at home crying all day!"

"What?" he said, standing with alarm. "Is she really?"

"Yes, she 'is really' and you know she won't stop unless you do something! What _exactly_ did you say to her?!"

He crossed his arms. "I simply said that the physical boundaries of our relationship need not change upon being wed."

Penny's mouth dropped open, and then said, "You, Sheldon Cooper, are a complete and total ASS!" She whirled around and stalked out.

Sheldon sat back down and opened his computer with an eyeroll. "Females."

"Sheldon, this is serious," Leonard said. "You can't just blow this off; Amy seems really upset."

"Amy's a very intelligent woman, Leonard; I'm sure she'll come to her senses."

"Come to her senses?" Leonard shook his head. "Sheldon, close the laptop." The other physicist looked over, surprised, but did as told.

"I've put up with you having your 'spot,'" Leonard said, ticking them off his fingers, "your Emergency Preparedness Drills, your unbreakable habits, your incapability of driving, your germ phobia, all that crazy stuff you call logic! I've put up with them because you're my friend and that's what friends do. But this is ridiculous! You're getting married; you have an obligation!"

"I have no such thing," Sheldon replied stoutly.

"Yes you do! Sheldon, do you find her, well, physically attractive?"

"That's a rather personal inquiry, Leonard!" Sheldon said, aghast.

"Answer the question!"

He hesitated, and then said, not looking Leonard in the eyes, "I- yes. Yes, I do."

"Then what's the holdup? Haven't you, you know…" He gestured with his hands. "Thought about it?"

Sheldon said nothing for a very long moment, expression somewhere between scandalized and pensive. Finally, he stood up and clasped his hands behind his back. He walked forward, saying, "Leonard, you know that I do not drive."

"Yeah…?"

"You are also aware that during the occasions upon which I have attempted to drive, I have not proved to be very adept at it."

"Yeah, so? What's your point?"

"My point is, Leonard," Sheldon said, giving him a very pointed look indeed, "as much as I loathe to admit it, there are a few things which I am simply not good at."

Leonard stared at him for a moment, confused, and then it dawned on him. "Oh… my…" He couldn't even finish his sentence, so hard was he laughing in triumph. "I don't believe this! _That's_ your big hang-up?

"Leonard, you cannot possibly understand! You are not exceptional!"

"Hey!"

"People expect me to be good at _whatever_ I do, Amy included." Though he was blushing furiously, he also looked somewhat distressed. "More importantly, what the two of us have right now is perfect. It is comfortable and safe. I don't want that to change!"

"Look," Leonard said, standing up. "Amy's not going to be disappointed with you. For Pete's sake, you're two thirty-year-old virgins! As for what you have now being perfect, one way or another, that's going to change. It can either change for the better, or for the worst."

"But I don't want it to change _at all!"_

"Sheldon, do you love Amy?"

He blinked. "Of course. What kind of a question is that?"

Leonard ignored this. "And what is love?"

"A decision to will the good of another."

Leonard looked at him.

"…Drats," Sheldon muttered. "But Leonard, I doubt she wants to see m-"

"Dad?" Both Leonard and Sheldon looked over at the bedroom, surprised. Dalton looked back, clearly confused and worried. "What's going on? Is something wrong with Mo- with Dr. Fowler?"

"No," Sheldon said instantly. "No, Amy's fine. We just need to-" He looked over at Leonard imploringly.

"They just need to discuss some wedding details," Leonard finished. "You can go back to sleep, Dalton." The boy nodded blearily and did so. Leonard turned to Sheldon, crossing his arms.

Swallowing forcefully, the other man said, "Alright. I'll talk to her." He picked his keys up off the coffee table and headed for the door, looking rather pale.

Leonard watched him go, unable to keep from smirking. A moment or so after the door shut, it reopened, and Penny, glancing around, walked in. "Did he-"

"Shh, shh," Leonard said. "Dalton just went back to sleep."

"Oh. Did I wake him up?"

"Uh-huh. Sheldon just went over to Amy's."

"Perfect," she said, looking rather self-satisfied.

Slowly, his smirk changed to an incredulous grin. "No. Way. That was all acting?"

"Not _all _of it," she said with a smug grin. "But yeah."

"You were fantastic!" he said, laughing. "Wait, was Amy actually crying?"

"Yeah, I didn't make that up," she replied, smile fading a bit. "But they'll sort things out now once they start talking again." She sat down beside him on the couch.

"Penny…" Leonard said hesitantly. "I've been thinking."

"Hm? About what?"

"Just… stuff in general…" He shrugged. "You know, marriage, a house, a family…"

"A family," Penny repeated slowly.

"Well yeah… mostly that, actually." He glanced over at her. "Would you, you know, be okay with that? Having a baby?"

She said nothing for a very long, pregnant moment, before finally she answered, "…Yeah. I mean, if we were married… and we had the money… I think I'd be okay with that."

"Really?" he said, breaking out into a grin. "Penny that's- that's great. Really great."

"You think so?"

"I know so," he said, kissing her quickly on the lips. "Our babies will be smart and beautiful."

**BBT**

"Howie, what do you think of this one?"

Howard studied the pink and yellow onesie. "That's the wrong size."

"What?"

"Size five to six months. We need zero to two."

"No, it's three to four. You double the age, remember?"

"Right…" He frowned at the multiple baby toys on the opposite aisle. "What do babies like to paly with?"

"Rings. Blocks. Stuffed things." She hummed a little to herself. "Oh, Howie, look!"

He turned around. "What?"

She pointed to a little crib mobile. "It's little angels. See? And it plays music." She switched it to 'Tune 1' and spun it. Bach's Minuet in G played out.

"Hey, I used to have one of these," Howard said, walking over beside her.

"You remember that far back?"

"Naw, my mom told me about it when I learned this on the piano." He hummed a little with it.

"Should we get it?"

"Sure; why not?"

Bernadette laughed. "You've said that about everything."

"Well our little Goldfish deserves everything."

She smiled. "I never knew you'd be so good at this."

"Good at what?"

"Being a dad." At this, his smile grew a little melancholy. "What is it?" she asked.

"Well just… I waited for _years_ for my dad to come back but- well, he never did." He gave a little shrug. "I don't know, I just- I want to give my kid better than that."

"Oh Howie," she said, eyes sad.

"Hey, that's the good part," he assured her. "It doesn't have to be that way for her. She'll be safe and happy and have two parents who love her very much."

She bit her lip, and then hugged him. "Thank you…"

They stayed like that for a long moment, before he pulled away. "I won't say I'm not scared though," he added with a nervous laugh. "This is so big; what do we do?"

She took her hand in his. "We love her," she said, "And we pray, and we do the best we can each day. That's all we can do."

He grinned at her. A moment later, he asked, "Can we still get the mobile?"

"We can get the mobile."

**A/N: Sorry for posting so late; what with midterms and Christmas, it's been hard to write. Merry Christmas (or Happy Holidays) to all of you! Special shoutout to Mo (you know who you are) and Shouvin!**


	36. Chapter 36 The Solution

Disclaimer: I don't own the Big Bang Theory. I make no money off of this. No copyright infringement intended.

**BBT**

_Knock knock knock. _"Amy."

_Knock knock knock. _"Amy."

_Knock knock knock. _"Amy."

Amy Farrah Fowler reluctantly opened her door. "What do you want, Sheldon?"

Unlike her usual tidy look, Amy's appearance was now frazzled and disheveled. Dressed in her bathrobe and hair unkempt, she glared at him with puffy, red eyes. "So you have been crying," he said, mostly to himself.

"Your powers of observation never cease to amaze me," she said, irritated.

"May I come in?"

She shrugged and walked inside.

He entered and took the opportunity to sit down on her couch. She sighed and sat down, as well. "What do you want?" she repeated.

"I want you to stop crying."

"Then leaving is probably your best option."

He brushed this off. "Penny has told me that what I said to you last night hurt you. Is this true?"

She fidgeted slightly. "Sort of."

"Sort of?"

"Yes, it did," she said flatly. "A lot."

"I see… Could you explain why?"

"Why?" she demanded. "_Why?"_

"Yes, that's what I'm asking," he answered, confused.

She threw her hands up in the air. "Sheldon, you said you didn't want our relationship to become physical after the wedding! Who wouldn't be hurt by that?"

"I wouldn't. Stephen Hawking wouldn't. A celibate religious wouldn't."

"I am neither you, nor Stephen Hawking, nor a nun. I am Amy, and right now Amy is feeling very upset."

"I can tell by your use of third person."  
She sighed, and suddenly lost her fire, going from angry to just very sad. "Sheldon, it hurt me because I want more than just your intellect. I want all of you: mind, body, and heart. I thought that was what you wanted as well, but apparently I was wrong." She stood. "If you desire to terminate the engagement-" Her voice broke, but she kept going, "I understand."

"Terminate the engagement? How can you say that?" he demanded.

"Clearly what you want from our marriage isn't what I want."

"You misunderstood me."

"Sheldon, I have my doctorate in neurobiology. I am a certified genius and I can prove it. I found _nothing_ opaque about our conversation last night whatsoever."

"Then that was my fault," he said seriously.

This more than anything gave her pause. Sheldon rarely admitted his mistakes. "Your fault?"

"Indeed. Amy, I rejected the change for the same reason I have always rejected change."

"Which is?" she asked, hope creeping into her voice as she sat back down beside him, waiting for an answer.

"That consistency is the only thing I have ever had to count on," he said. "Right now, our relationship is consistent. I find it to be very comfortable and stable. And yes, the idea that something could upend that bothers me."

"Sheldon, I don't know how you can expect us to be married without having a physical relationship."

"That is why I am here," Sheldon said, shifting on the couch to face her, hands folded in his lap. "I am… willing to alter that part of the agreement, if you can promise that such activities will in no way be detrimental to our relationship."

Amy stared at him for a moment, tears brimming in her eyes, and then suddenly she was kissing him.

When she pulled away, he fumbled with his words in shock for a few moments, and then managed to say, "That's a violation."

"'Great excitement or distress,'" she quoted, breathless. "Sheldon… thank you."

"You are very welcome. Now, we are half a day off schedule," he said, standing, "And there are preparations to be made. Assuming, of course, the wedding is 'still on?'"

"It is most certainly 'still on,'" Amy replied, getting to her feet. "And you're correct; I was supposed to call the florist this morning."

"And I the caterers. Good day, Amy."

"Good day." Just as he reached for the door, she said, "Sheldon, one last thing."

He turned. "Yes?"

"…I love you."

"I… love you too," he said, only a little hesitant. Still, the words sat right in his mouth, and so with a little smile, he left.

She hummed slightly to herself as she headed for her bedroom. It was suddenly looking like a beautiful day.

**BBT**

"Ugh, thank gods everything got settled," Raj said, slumping on his couch.

"All that hard work of yours would have gone to nothing," Ale agreed, drinking the last spoonful of her soup. "You've been doing a wonderful job, by the way."

"Well, I did always say that if I wasn't a scientist, I'd be a party planner," Raj said with a smile.

"The children's birthday parties will be the envy of their classmates," Ale said with a laugh.

Suddenly, silence filled the room. Raj looked over to see his girlfriend blushing profusely, eyes wide as she fiddled with her spoon.

"You- you think about that?" he said, surprised. "About us… getting married? Having a family?"

"It would be very difficult," she admitted. "I'd need a special dispensation just to marry you, and then raising a family…"

"If Howard and Bernadette can do it-"

"Howard and Bernadette share a similar base. For us, it would be even more difficult, but…" She hesitated. "But I love you, Rajesh. Do- do you feel the same? Or…?"

Suddenly, her hands were clasped in his, and she found herself looking into serious brown eyes. "I love you," he replied, "more than I think I've loved anyone else ever before. And it's because of you that I can stand to look at myself in the mirror each morning. You… made me a good man, Alejandra."

"I didn't make you into anything," she said with a small smile. "You did that on your own."

"You helped."

"Well… maybe a little." She stood up and kissed him on the cheek. "Good evening, Rajesh. I'll see you tomorrow."

As his apartment door clicked shut, he sat stone-silent on the couch. He'd told her he loved her. He'd physically _told_ a _woman_ he _loved her._ With his mouth. Before, he'd never even considered that a possibility. And she felt the same. After everything they'd been through, all the stupid mistakes he'd made… she actually loved him.

_Whoa._

Sitting there in absolute shock, he could slowly feel the metaphorical cogs in his mind start to turn again. This wasn't temporary, like he'd first expected it to be. They'd been dating for nearly nine months now, and in that time, he'd changed, really sort of… grown up. He _wanted_ responsibility. He _wanted_ a future with her.

And so Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali, owner of a doctorate in astrophysicists and a genius brain, began to do what he did best: make a plan.


End file.
